For about 12 years i have suffered from, and managed to live with clinical depression. As with any depression it does show itself in day to day life, and, looking back, had a large affect on a relationship the went sour. Anyway, most depression is feeling low, low motivation, no self worth etc. I knew how to deal with, and hide this very well from the people who would care.
But now things have gotten worse. Since a break up in April, I had very serious moments of depression. There were also moments of massive happiness. I am studying a biology degree and in the last 4-6 weeks ive noticed a distinct change in my personal mindset. I had an idea of what might be causing it, and went to my doctors. And then, after about 3 meetings with psychologists and talks with the GP, i have now been told i probably/maybe/definatly have Bipolar. Now, i say maybe w/e because actually labeling a diagnosis of BP is very hard. I have suffered from all the major symptoms in the last 18 months, and both my GP and therapist have come to this conclusion. It's not hit me hard, as I always knew there was a chance i had it, as my mother has it aswell.
They have given me a list of options to consider. The talking and Cognitive therapy will be good for me, as i tend to keep issues to myself. The medication is a no go for me. I know the affects. Ive seen what they can do first hand, and i dont want thay. Plus they can make it worse in some people. It's started to affect my work, as they are possibly the most inept and retarded employers in the world. They change my shifts week to week, call me in whenever, and make me stay past my shift end. All this has led to me haveing no sleep pattern at all. Sunday i lost it properly for the first time in 8 years. I was shaking, sweating , panicing, i think it may have been a panic attack tbh. I had thoughts of suicide, which scared the shit out of me, as i have tried it before. The doctor got worried at this
Anyway, what im asking for is advice from people who either have or know of people with depression/BP, and ways of managing the swings. Im currently coming out of a depression so im a little fuzzy, but i need something to focus on. Any tips??
Medication did absolutely nothing for me besides waste time and make me very exhausted, which has been a long-lasting effect even after I stopped taking the drugs.
As for managing, there's no easy surefire way to manage. Simply take days as they come. It is easier for me because I don't care about relationships or the like, so I have nothing to lose besides time and life is all time waiting to be wasted. I live for the moment. The moment is never happy, as you would describe. But if I can at least be content, then it's better than nothing. I strive for at least one day of being content a week. The rest I spend sleeping.
In my blogs there's plenty of material related to the struggles I have faced.
On November 10 2012 07:24 IskatuMesk wrote: Medication did absolutely nothing for me besides waste time and make me very exhausted, which has been a long-lasting effect even after I stopped taking the drugs.
As for managing, there's no easy surefire way to manage. Simply take days as they come. It is easier for me because I don't care about relationships or the like, so I have nothing to lose besides time and life is all time waiting to be wasted. I live for the moment. The moment is never happy, as you would describe. But if I can at least be content, then it's better than nothing. I strive for at least one day of being content a week. The rest I spend sleeping.
In my blogs there's plenty of material related to the struggles I have faced.
I had both forms of therapy - medication and someone who talked with me for about 1 1/2 years. it rly helped a lot - i have a job now, lost weight and enjoy life a lot more. I still use the medication though, it doesnt effect me negativly in any way.
i hope more ppl have expierences like that. Idk about other countries, but this whole process cost me absolutly no money, which was pretty great since my parents probably couldnt have payed (germany).
Refuse to believe in that you're depressed. find motivation!!!
I can tell you first-hand it doesn't work that way. With my mother dying from cancer last year, I refused to feel down and got myself very physically sick as a result. If the chemicals in your cortex want you to feel something and you refuse to embrace it, you force the cortex to communicate to you in physical ways (as the cortex is your 'animal brain' a place you can't reason with).
The same goes for depression. You can't reason it away or force it to go. It comes to you and coping with it is a slow process that involves social contact, support from the environment, physical excersise and a positive mindset (which can be brought with philosopy - force yourself to think objective and neutral about things if you get too depressed).
Bringing brain chemistry back into the picture, although I know that there are side-effects I can tell you that for some cases, medication can certainly help ease the burden.
I wish I had great advice but all I can say is, the artists I've listened to is what's really helped me. My brother and me are both autistic spectrum and my grandmother had very serious Manic Depression/ Bipolar, so I'm quite sure I'm not entirely emotionally/psychologically usual.
Basically, I just listen to songs like this
Over and over again... I spend the vast majority of my free time sitting and absorbing positive songs... and my emotional quality of life is far, far better. In the most recent weeks/months I've become much much more confident, cut my hair, new wardrobe, even got the eyebrow piercing I thought might be cool and just started to live life a lot better.
I don't allow myself to be depressed now... if I start to think more and more about death and isolation, I just recite something in my head. + Show Spoiler +
"A lot to learn, A little to know I’ll reach for the top put my feet in a hole You gotta go through the storm to appreciate the sun And a rainbow the sum is the way of the sea doesn’t grow from it Love it, leave it alone, now touch it, hug it, feed it a bone How? Give it your story for a piece of the puzzle Admit that your blind, and in time it’ll see on it’s own Don’t believe in snakes, not in evil I believe in change, and put my faith in people Everyone is built the same my inner struggle loves control That’s good for strangers to relate to where some fathers wouldn’t go But when it all crumbles don't wait for the hero Stomach that tummy ache And create mirrors through other individuals you meet on the path Because the connection that we crave becomes complete when we fear nothing."
I've been suffering from depression for very long time, with some small breaks. My husband always tells me it's about mindset, and frankly, I wish that was the case. If I could just snap my fingers and not feel so tired, unmotivated and completelly burn-out and everything being so hopeless. Because as someone, who normally has their passions and family to take care of, I don't want to live that way. I want to be happy, energetic and motivated, because deep down, I have my passions, wishes and dreams, but they are under this nasty pile, which is called depression.
I've tried exercising, and I still keep doing it, three times a week. It helps me feel better for couple of hours and then I am back to being lethargic again. Everything feels like I can't do it, even if I try. So, why to even bother, right?
Frankly, I do not believe the drugs are the answer. But, what can one really do? When it is difficult to focus at one thing, because I feel the way I do? Should we force ourselves through the depression and do something, even though we do not feel up to it? Because the feeling of hopelessness is lingering around like old stench? If we force ourselves, will the depression go away?
I really know where you are coming from, OP, you are not alone in this depression - and I wish I had actual advice. Either way, best of luck, hope you feel better.
Think happy thought and think of where you want to be in life and what you can do to get there.
For a while, I suffered from the same problem, but now I suffer moreso from constantly harboring anger which can be reflected in my writings from time to time.
You cannot ignore medication as a serious option. There are an incredibly few amount of people that react poorly to all medications, there are a large amount of people who take their medications a couple times and then stop because of side effects, there are some people that have no side effects, and no positive effects, there are some people that have some god and some bad, and then there is a large majority, compared to all those groups, that can take medication and are better off for it.
I had tried several medications for my long time depression with no results - no side effects, no good effects. My doctors wanted to get a little more aggressive, and prescribed me Vibryd, a kind of super SSRI. I took it, and it was awful. I was dizzy, nauseous, irritable, and some times during the day I would get neuronal jolts down my body. But all of a sudden, by day 10, all of those symptoms went away, and now its the only medication that has actually started to help.
Medication isnt a panacra, and I can't guarantee that it will be a cake walk for you, but I strongly recommend for you to talk to your doctor about your concerns and give it a chance.
EPT
