EPT
Inspired to write!
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iaminfiniteOSL
63 Posts
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Atom Cannister
Germany380 Posts
Also, I didn't rate it 1 start, don't hate on me.  | ||
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iaminfiniteOSL
63 Posts
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Scarecrow
Korea (South)9175 Posts
On October 23 2012 18:52 NMRemorse wrote: The job, was killing the young duchess Lucy, at the age of 8 she wouldn’t really be putting much of a fight, and with a war to fight her steward had spared only a handful of old and young men to guard her during the relatively safe 7 day journey to the peaceful borderlands, of course he couldn’t have known that the order had their eyes on Lucy, else he might just have sent half his army to protect her. Try reading that sentence without pausing for breath. You really need to fix that aspect of your writing just to make your work readable. I'd suggest looking up some grammar guide on how to use commas, structure dialogue and construct sentences. It might seem counter-intuitive but writing often flows better with shorter sentences. | ||
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iaminfiniteOSL
63 Posts
Ahh, I see, yea thanks! | ||
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