EPTNow here's the interesting thing. Never in my life have I walked into a theatre, noticed someone sitting alone and thought, "Wow that guy's a total loser, here by himself". I would think that the vast majority of us feel the same way. I mean, as long as what someone else is doing, doesn't directly affect what we're doing, who cares what they do?
And yet that's how I feel as I sit here turning over the idea of my night out alone. I've never gone to see a movie by myself ever. I know in my heart that it doesn't really matter, and all that will happen is I'll go and watch an enjoyable movie, yet I still struggle with the idea of attending the theatre alone.
It's kind of like when I first started going to the gym. Upon entering the gym, there was at least five other guys who were super jacked, and doing their respective exercises flawlessly. Perfect form, perfect reps, perfect everything. I felt so insecure working out around them. I had looked up several different videos on proper form and starting workout routines, yet it took me a long time to feel comfortable working out there.
And I think that the people in society that we label as confident or cocky, are people who just understand that most things don't matter.
For instance, the one good thing in my life is that I'm not adverse to asking out girls stone cold. If I see a girl who I think is attractive, I'll strike up a convo, and if I like what I see I'll ask her out. Sometimes they say yes, sometimes they say no. It's never been scary to me because in all honesty it doesn't really matter if she says no. And if I'm with my friends, they'll scoff at me and say, "You would never have done that if you were by yourself, you were just putting on a show for us". Because in their minds it's inconceivable to imagine that someone would be that comfortable walking up to a girl they know nothing about and asking them out.
It's weird to go to the movies by yourself. And it's more weird that I think it's weird. I hope I end up going, but right now I'm trying to convince myself, which means I'm leaning towards not going.
. Going off what mizU said here, he is completely correct, no one pays much attention to anyone if something doesn't grab their attention, they are too busy hoping people don't notice things about them. The spotlight effect works in 2 ways: 1 that people think that other will pay so much attention to them that they pay themselves so much attention in order to not get judged harshly; 2 this means that 1 basically creates a scenario where no one really pays a ton of attention to anyone elses issues that aren't highly visible because they are focused on their own niche problems that aren't enormously visible.
