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A patient of mine died today.
He was a 98 years old male, who I've known for many years, even before I was a doctor.
He was a sweet guy; anyone would have wanted him for grandfather. Playful, always happy, full of jokes and histories to tell.
I hospitalized him 8 weeks ago because of a pneumonia. Got in and out of the hospital for the last two months. Even at that, he joked about, saying "bah, I'm an old fart and I'm supposed to die soon, why do you worry so much? Death can't be that bad!"
I hospitalized him yesterday. He came into the ER joined by his daughter and his granddaughter, who used to be my girlfriend for a long time and is a good friend of mine. He wasn't in great shape; came in cyanotic (with bluish lips and hands), breathing heavily, burning in fever (40°C). After a full physical examination, I diagnosed him with a pneumonia. We moved him into the imagenology department and took a chest X-ray which confirmed the diagnosis: It was a rather large pneumonia, going through the half of the right lung to it's lower portion.
That, plus his age, plus his latter history of respiratory diseases, was not good.
I was brutally honest with the family. I did not see him well and it was a bad pneumonia. We'd do all our best but I wasn't sure it was going to be enough.
My patient told me, gasping: "Do what you have to do, child. If I go, don't be sad. It's my time anyway and I'm not afraid..." And then turned to his family: "And neither should you. Don't be afraid..."
I hospitalized him and his family wanted to stay with him. So they did. I prescribed oxygen, antibiotics and some acethaminophen for his fever.
He went progressively worse. I was checking up on him all night. I mean, I knew him for as long as I can remember. He almost became family (I was with his granddaughter for over 5 years). I WAS worried. Not only as a doctor, but as someone who knew him and cared for him.
No matter what I did, he kept getting worse.
I spoke to the family. He was going to die. I was making sure he was comfortable and not in pain.
3 hours later he lapsed into a coma.
4 hours later, he died, peacefully, with a smile on his face. Me, holding his hand along with his daughter.
Then, his granddaughter said something to me that has been ringing in my head ever since:
"Honey, thank you for letting my pops go well. Thank you for letting him die well."
And I can't write anymore because I'm getting all emotional and I don't know why.
Thank you for reading.
 
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Annnnd then proceded to plow the granddaughter
User was banned for this post.
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On July 26 2012 06:13 CygNusX-1 wrote:
Annnnd then proceded to plow the granddaughter
What the hell is wrong with you? Totally not the place or time for that.
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On July 26 2012 06:13 CygNusX-1 wrote:
Annnnd then proceded to plow the granddaughter
I can understand your lack of impulse for sex, but not the lack of impulse (and rationalized thought, thereafter) before posting something so... lacking in taste.
Thanks for the 1 star rating anyways... I guess.
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"bah, I'm an old fart and I'm supposed to die soon, why do you worry so much? Death can't be that bad!"
I love this perspective. Death is difficult for the living, not for those that have passed on. It's important I think to realize this.
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I think you've done the family and yourself a great service. Having someone die in peace and in happiness is a great gift that you have given this man (and the family too). You know, judging by your blog, that you've done everything in your ability to help this man.
I guess there is a time for everybody, however it can be rough on the people left behind. My condolences and thanks for sharing.
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On July 26 2012 06:04 UmbraaeternuS wrote:
And I can't write anymore because I'm getting all emotional and I don't know why.
I don't understand this part, surely it's incredibly obvious why you're feeling emotional?
Decent blog but this part ruined it a bit for me.
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My patient told me, gasping: "Do what you have to do, child. If I go, don't be sad. It's my time anyway and I'm not afraid..." And then turned to his family: "And neither should you. Don't be afraid..."
Losing someone you care about is tough, but this man wouldn't want you to be upset. Your friendship and love is something he would have smiled on, contributing to the full life he was able to have. Miss him, but celebrate his full life, and your friendship.
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On July 26 2012 06:31 Ryka wrote:Show nested quote +On July 26 2012 06:04 UmbraaeternuS wrote:
And I can't write anymore because I'm getting all emotional and I don't know why. I don't understand this part, surely it's incredibly obvious why you're feeling emotional? Decent blog but this part ruined it a bit for me.
I don't know myself. Maybe it was the 'knowing him' experience? Maybe it was what his granddaughter said? Maybe it was the whole losing a patient thing? Maybe it was the approach of dying he had? Maybe it was the whole thing?
I don't know, man. It isn't obvious for me, a dude who has been trained to understand this shit. Maybe I'm not supposed to understand it, I'm just supposed to feel it and that's it.
But I don't want to leave that part out of the story. I'm not ashamed of my emotions. I don't want to look like I "manned up" and took it like nothing. I don't want to tell just a part of the tale. I want to share the whole of it. Emotions included. Even though for some people it might sound corny and cheap, because that's how I feel about it and emotions, especially at times like this, are important.
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Sad.. Makes you realize the important things in life. Really brave of him!
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You're emotional for a lot of reasons. Working in the medical field isn't going to make it any easier from what I'm told. My family members who work as nurses at least tell me that they can handle death more often easier than they expected they could, but that makes the hard losses even worse.
Regardless, I'm sorry for your loss, but jealous you knew a guy so seemingly awesome. RIP, old dude.
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On July 26 2012 06:20 UmbraaeternuS wrote:Show nested quote +On July 26 2012 06:13 CygNusX-1 wrote:
Annnnd then proceded to plow the granddaughter I can understand your lack of impulse for sex, but not the lack of impulse (and rationalized thought, thereafter) before posting something so... lacking in taste. Thanks for the 1 star rating anyways... I guess.
Don't take what he said to heart, he only has 1 post count, it's a troll account that's soon to be banned.
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China6332 Posts
RIP old pal.
It must be hard for you man.
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On July 26 2012 07:13 NoctemSC wrote:Show nested quote +On July 26 2012 06:20 UmbraaeternuS wrote:On July 26 2012 06:13 CygNusX-1 wrote:
Annnnd then proceded to plow the granddaughter I can understand your lack of impulse for sex, but not the lack of impulse (and rationalized thought, thereafter) before posting something so... lacking in taste. Thanks for the 1 star rating anyways... I guess. Don't take what he said to heart, he only has 1 post count, it's a troll account that's soon to be banned.
it's awkward that the account was created 2 years ago. maybe several members have like 10 back up troll accounts over the years that they take out and make some troll posts with then are fine with them being banned, seeing as they have a dozen more they can use to pot anytime.
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Good blog, reminds me of my grandfather's death ;_;
Thinking about these things makes me a bit sad but maybe it's a good thing to keep them in mind once in a while. And get over the smaller problems in a way.
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Brave old man... must be hard to be in a position of a doctor like that.
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I can't really imagine how it would be like... I don't really know what to say, really.
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On July 26 2012 06:31 Ryka wrote:Show nested quote +On July 26 2012 06:04 UmbraaeternuS wrote:
And I can't write anymore because I'm getting all emotional and I don't know why. I don't understand this part, surely it's incredibly obvious why you're feeling emotional? Decent blog but this part ruined it a bit for me.
yes because he's writing this for the sake of your enjoyment. Show a little respect, he's just being honest with how he's feeling.
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98 years is a good run. Im glad to know he was well cared for and died with friends and family. Thank you for the blog.
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EPT
