Stand up to your dad. Have a serious and honest conversation with him. Explain what you're passionate about, why you are so, and how you believe he treats you wrong.

Unless your dad is a real asshole, he probably does realize you excel at those subjects and IS pleased inside, but like you said, wants you to cover your weaknesses. He may be the type to withhold compliments in fear of letting you become overconfident.

[UoN]Sentinel

United States11320 Posts

July 05 2012 23:18 GMT

#22

On July 04 2012 20:53 NonFactor wrote:
I keep reading these stories about asian parents and it seems so strange to me.

My parents simply didn't give a shit about my academics. (Which can be both good and bad.) I didn't get pressured, nor did I get heavily rewarded for doing good. If I asked my parents ''what you guys want me to do when I grow up'' they would simply say ''just do whatever makes you happy'' which I'm grateful for. Though I think I would have done better in school with some shouting. ;o Lucky we don't put as much importance apparently to what school you went to.

This to an extent.

When I was a little kid my dad did force trigonometry and calculus down my throat, but now both my parents have kinda relaxed a bit. Now they're just leaving me to my own devices, if I pull high grades they leave me alone. The other day my dad explained two things that kinda justify it all,

"Every father wants his son to exceed him in every way, physically and mentally" and

"I'm doing this because this is the best way I can think of to set you up for success".

But otherwise, both my parents, and especially my mother have backed off of it. Like even though I bombed this year's math final (and beat myself up for it), my English scores were amazing this year (I don't even like the subject) and they kinda said "Yeah it's not good at all that you screwed up, but at least good job on your essays."

Recognizable

Netherlands1552 Posts

July 05 2012 23:40 GMT

#23

My parents are pretty laid back, towards me atleast. Towards my sister they are a bit stricter, but it's because she struggles more than me. I probably pressure myself more than my parents do, if they ever pressure me I just tell them to fuck off almost literally because I can't handle the stress from the pressure I am putting on myself and theirs during exam times.

DRTnOOber

New Zealand476 Posts

July 06 2012 00:03 GMT

#24

I hate all the "don't contemplate suicide!" responses to your post... Missing the point much? The feelings were already there, isn't it more important to talk about why than try to pretend they never existed/should never exist? All feelings are valid and we need to acknowledge them to move on.

I'm not going to give you (too much) advice, it would be impossible to do that justive. All I can say is that;

1) I always appreciate your posts on TL. You're a very good writer and have a talent. It's pretty much a given that your dad isn't going to acknowledge this in the near future, and there isn't much you can do about that, but here's one random guy in New Zealand who says "you rock!".

2) I'm not in your position, I'm 28 now and my dad's opinion of me isn't such a big deal anymore because we live over 1000km away from each other, but some things in life we can control and some we can't. It sounds like your dad's opinions just are what they are, for whatever reason. It's not worth putting any effort into trying to do something about it when you're in effect powerless. The best you can do is manage, and keep your eye on the prize; know what matters to you and what you want out of life, and when you leave home that's when you can really immerse yourself in the stuff you love, completely.

I went to drama school for three years and studied to be an actor in-between a computer science degree and then working in IT. It was the most liberating and important three years of my life... all I can say is that look forward to a time when you get to have adventures on your own terms with people who think like you and care about the stuff you care about.

See you around TL!

(PS from your writing I would have sworn you were 25+)

Azera

3800 Posts

July 06 2012 06:04 GMT

#25

I've read all the responses. Thanks, I feel good.

so many feels

ScruffyJanitor

Australia108 Posts

July 06 2012 06:47 GMT

#26

Strikes me as odd when I hear thinking about suicide is a thing you'll do as a teen or is more likely or whatever. Ive been sad, my dad died from cancer, my sister tried killing herself, my mum has two tumours, one has been removed but I've never wanted to kill myself. Ive cried but Im still a happy guy in general.. guess we are all different.

Kukaracha

France1954 Posts

July 06 2012 08:44 GMT

#27

Don't kill yourself if you don't actually have a strong reason. As the saying says, death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

One day, you will be free.

Azera

3800 Posts

July 06 2012 09:01 GMT

#28

On July 06 2012 17:44 Kukaracha wrote:
Don't kill yourself if you don't actually have a strong reason. As the saying says, death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

One day, you will be free.

I think you're wrong in that death is not only just a permanent solution to a currently existing problem and it also prevents any other problem from occurring.

Kukaracha

France1954 Posts

July 06 2012 09:46 GMT

#29

From that point of view, it prevents many other problems and benefits from occurring. In fact, it prevents from occurring - in general.

Following this logic, you could kill yourself because you may sometimes feel sick after eating too much. The sickness will go away forever! But you won't, since you will never feel the warmth of the sun on your skin again if you do put an end to your days. In this case, the benefits outweight the problems.

You wouldn't terminate a profitable business because it is causing problems in the short term, would you? A couple of depressing years are well worth a life of hedonistic opulence. Just make sure that these shitty times give birth to a happy life - not that you can plan your life, but you can create a positive context (a good job, good friends, plenty of money, fulfilling passions) and give yourself the tools to have it easy later on. In the end, if all else fails, you could maybe consider suicide, if chronic depression follows you through adulthood.
But then again, if your computer is slow, would you throw it out the window first, or would you start by rebooting it?
Edit : let's be clear, I'm not talking about reincarnation.