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A little background before I go in to the main body of this blog. I am bi-polar and have some pretty fucked up dreams, often I have "nightmares" from which I can not wake and instead simply dream a succession of horrible things that would normally cause most people to wake up multiple times, the cool part is that I can usually remember the details pretty vividly when I wake....
So, there I was, asleep and dreaming about my gf. Don't remember exactly what the dream was about but she was in it, we were having a perfectly nice time together and then next thing I know I'm in a badly lit bar ordering a drink for myself and gf from a bartender I know really well, his name is Rick, he is the bar supervisor at the holiday park I am currently working at.
Anyhow, I'm ordering a drink and in walks a big guy wearing a long coat and a hood, looking mean and generally giving the place a darker mood. He walks up to a guy at the bar and starts shouting something about money, a few seconds later he pulls out what is obviously a crossbow and people begin to duck, the bartender, Rick, doesn't seem to notice and continues serving my drinks. I grab my gf and pull her away from the bar just as the guy with the crossbow begins to fire. Rick takes a quarrel to the head, as do a couple of other innocent by standers. All hell breaks loose, people start pulling weapons of all types from their clothing and bags.
Having just watched some madman kill one of my friends, I do what any normal dreamer would do... something completely impossible. I pull a short bow from its quiver, which wasn't there 3 seconds ago, and string it. Just as I release my first shot my gf jumps in front of me and takes a bullet to the shoulder that would have otherwise hit me (thanks baby, stupid move... but thanks all the same) and falls to the ground. Most people would have already woken from the dream a long while ago, but even seeing my gf get shot isn't enough to wake me, I've dreamed way worse things than this before.
I release a few more arrows and then grab my now unconscious gf and make for the door. As I get close, I turn and notice that the big mean guy with the crossbow has lost his hood and is actually the ugliest mofo I've ever seen, is seriously injured now but still quite deadly. I pull another arrow from my quiver and fire, it is a true shot, right between his eyes, he melts in to a puff of smoke, strange behavior for a dead man, I'm sure you will agree. I turn back to the door and an even bigger, meaner, uglier guy is stood there, laughing and generally looking pleased with himself.
My exit it blocked, my gf is dying and I've only gone and run out of arrows..... what kind of dream is this? Why the fuck would my mind decide to have me run out of arrows at this point? Luckily however, the guy blocking the door turns and walks away. I pull my gf over my shoulder and carry her outside. I look around and there are people fighting everywhere, it's a shit storm of blood and guts. I go right and around the side of the pub, down a street and out of town.
Once safely away from the fighting I put my gf down and attempt to wake her, after a short while she stirs and we begin to traverse a field that has a suspiciously familiar path snaking through it. We seem to be alone now, I turn to talk to my gf and she is drinking a red liquid. She says "time to go to work" and then I feel a sharp pain in my back......... finally I wake.
The real, unharmed, annoyingly loud gf has just punched me in the back to wake me up. It is at this point I realise that the pub I was in, is located in New Tristam, the field I was traversing before waking was familiar because I, or rather my avatar, had been fighting demons in it not too long ago, the big guy barring the door was Diablo himself and that i had somehow managed to take a nice dream about my gf and turn it in to me being a Demon Hunter. How the fuck did I not notice Diablo standing right in front of me? lol.
Not sure why I decided to post this blog, I guess it's probably because I tried to explain all this to my gf and she gave me the same blank stare she does whenever I talk about video games and just didn't understand that I had been stood feet away from one of the nastiest dudes to ever exist in a video game and not had a single arrow to fight him with.
  
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I enjoyed reading this. What other weird things have happened to you? (Ones that relate to being bipolar preferably)
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Weird things that happened to me? That could be a very long discussion lol. I guess the strangest thing that relates directly to being bi-polar is that my memories of events are often quite distorted, especially those from childhood. I have memories which are very vivid and as real to me as any of your true memories are to you but which I know to be completely false, it's somewhat of a defence mechanism I developed for when things got really bad.
I have a childhood memory of a birthday party, it was my 9th or 10th birthday can't remember which atm, at which I had a tremendous time, I can remember the cake, the friends, everything. However, this party never happened, it was supposed to but in reality I wouldn't leave my bedroom and all my friends basically had to be turned away at the door. I don't remember this version of events hardly at all, bits of it are there but they seem vague and dreamlike, however my parents assure me that I refused to leave my room and the party was cancelled.
I literally used to create these memories to help myself cope with the bad depression phases, the kind of depression where you go beyond feeling sad or bad and become empty, devoid of emotion. Now that I am 28, those created memories have all but supplanted the real ones and so I will often be having a conversation with a childhood friend or a family member and they will say "remember when you/we did this...." and I have a completely different recollection to them, it's get quite weird at times and I usually just nod a lot and agree with them lol.
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Very interesting. I've been reading quite a bit about Bipolar Disorder for my Psychology class. Thank you for sharing.It's good to read about it from a psychologist's perspective in textbooks but something entirely different to hear it directly from someone living through it.
Do you have many reoccuring dreams?
If so, do you know what triggers said dreams?
When did you first "know" there was something not 100% right about your brain?
As an added note, if you take offense to any of these questions I am extremely sorry. I mean no harm, having English be my second language sometimes hinders my ability to communicate using the proper tone and so forth. 
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On June 07 2012 12:23 ZisforZerg wrote:Very interesting. I've been reading quite a bit about Bipolar Disorder for my Psychology class. Thank you for sharing.It's good to read about it from a psychologist's perspective in textbooks but something entirely different to hear it directly from someone living through it. Do you have many reoccuring dreams? If so, do you know what triggers said dreams? When did you first "know" there was something not 100% right about your brain? As an added note, if you take offense to any of these questions I am extremely sorry. I mean no harm, having English be my second language sometimes hinders my ability to communicate using the proper tone and so forth.
And just like that you attempt to turn him into a lab experiment.
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On June 07 2012 12:29 NoctemSC wrote:Show nested quote +On June 07 2012 12:23 ZisforZerg wrote:Very interesting. I've been reading quite a bit about Bipolar Disorder for my Psychology class. Thank you for sharing.It's good to read about it from a psychologist's perspective in textbooks but something entirely different to hear it directly from someone living through it. Do you have many reoccuring dreams? If so, do you know what triggers said dreams? When did you first "know" there was something not 100% right about your brain? As an added note, if you take offense to any of these questions I am extremely sorry. I mean no harm, having English be my second language sometimes hinders my ability to communicate using the proper tone and so forth. And just like that you attempt to turn him into a lab experiment.
Hardly, I just enjoy asking questions to someone who I know little about. I wish to understand more, that's it!
I'm sure he wouldn't have posted this blog if he was offended by questions.
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Atleast you're living a pretty normal life. Good on you man!! <3 Loved the blog!
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You know, since you remember these things so well you could possible write a book. i mean i know it sounds weird but if you could..write these down in a semi coherent (not that this wasnt coherent) way these would be very interesting to read. i mean put a funny kinda twist in the writing like you did with this but still carry a serious tone i think it would be a cool collection of short stories. or one really long one if you can write a back story to them.
Like for this one. it could be a recovering post apocalyptic world where most guns have been lost or ruined and people rely on older forms of defense (swords and bows) but set in a modern city that is recovering. idk im just rambling now, but i enjoyed reading this dream of yours, it was pretty wacky haha but a fun read none the less.
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Drugs are bad ... Mkay
On June 07 2012 11:46 emythrel wrote: seeing my gf get shot isn't enough to wake me, I've dreamed way worse things than this before.
Like your gf getting raped by an octopus ?
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On June 07 2012 19:54 Marti wrote:Drugs are bad ... Mkay Show nested quote +On June 07 2012 11:46 emythrel wrote: seeing my gf get shot isn't enough to wake me, I've dreamed way worse things than this before.
Like your gf getting raped by an octopus ?
When I see posts like yours I wish I had a report button. A stupid catchphrase followed by a very offensive comment, not in the least funny like you probably intended it to be.
As weird as it may seem, sometimes I'd like my nightmares to last longer, like yours, but just at the critical moment they cut off leaving me with nothing but sweat and a ruined sleep.
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On June 07 2012 21:18 Incze wrote:Show nested quote +On June 07 2012 19:54 Marti wrote:Drugs are bad ... Mkay On June 07 2012 11:46 emythrel wrote: seeing my gf get shot isn't enough to wake me, I've dreamed way worse things than this before.
Like your gf getting raped by an octopus ? When I see posts like yours I wish I had a report button. A stupid catchphrase followed by a very offensive comment, not in the least funny like you probably intended it to be. As weird as it may seem, sometimes I'd like my nightmares to last longer, like yours, but just at the critical moment they cut off leaving me with nothing but sweat and a ruined sleep.
Seriously ? That is enough to offend you ?
I'll edit it if you want but, really, he's the one bringing in his weird shit
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On June 07 2012 23:47 Marti wrote:Show nested quote +On June 07 2012 21:18 Incze wrote:On June 07 2012 19:54 Marti wrote:Drugs are bad ... Mkay On June 07 2012 11:46 emythrel wrote: seeing my gf get shot isn't enough to wake me, I've dreamed way worse things than this before.
Like your gf getting raped by an octopus ? When I see posts like yours I wish I had a report button. A stupid catchphrase followed by a very offensive comment, not in the least funny like you probably intended it to be. As weird as it may seem, sometimes I'd like my nightmares to last longer, like yours, but just at the critical moment they cut off leaving me with nothing but sweat and a ruined sleep. Seriously ? That is enough to offend you ? I'll edit it if you want but, really, he's the one bringing in his weird shit
Well I'm pretty hard to offend actually, but taking a leap from my gf getting shot not being the worst thing I've ever seen to her being raped by an octopus actually reflects more on your weirdness than mine lol.
Incze, trust me on this one, waking up is far better. You will usually fall back to sleep within seconds unless it was a particularly bad dream whereas I have to sleep thru a succession of them until I either am awoken by someone else (my gf usually wakes me up when I start thrashing around) or I realise I'm dreaming and force myself to wake up. This was a very tame dream by my standards and was quite fun in a morbid way, but many of them are truly disturbing and I wish I could just forget them, but usually can't.
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On June 07 2012 12:23 ZisforZerg wrote:Very interesting. I've been reading quite a bit about Bipolar Disorder for my Psychology class. Thank you for sharing.It's good to read about it from a psychologist's perspective in textbooks but something entirely different to hear it directly from someone living through it. Do you have many reoccuring dreams? If so, do you know what triggers said dreams? When did you first "know" there was something not 100% right about your brain? As an added note, if you take offense to any of these questions I am extremely sorry. I mean no harm, having English be my second language sometimes hinders my ability to communicate using the proper tone and so forth.
Ok so meant to answer these when I got up this morning but didn't have time..... here we go....
Do you have many reoccuring dreams?
Yes I do. There is one in particular that I've been having since childhood, though I won't discuss it here, literally haunts me. When I am in a depressive phase, I usually have it at least twice a week.
If so, do you know what triggers said dreams?
In general, they are somewhat tied in to my depressive phases, but that could just be confirmation bias on my part. I have a couple of friends who are also bi-polar who have similar experiences. The one person I know who is on the high end of the bi-polar scale (has delusions of grandeur and all that shit) said once that they have been having the same dream nearly every night for the last 10 years, but you unfortunately have to take everything he says with a grain of salt because he is literally not able to function like a normal person and doesn't know what way is up most of the time.
When did you first "know" there was something not 100% right about your brain?
I've known for pretty much as far back as I can remember that something "wasn't right" but I really knew for sure at about 11 years old that I needed to go see a doctor because as I put it at the time "I think I'm a bit mental mum"
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On June 07 2012 23:54 emythrel wrote:Show nested quote +On June 07 2012 23:47 Marti wrote:On June 07 2012 21:18 Incze wrote:On June 07 2012 19:54 Marti wrote:Drugs are bad ... Mkay On June 07 2012 11:46 emythrel wrote: seeing my gf get shot isn't enough to wake me, I've dreamed way worse things than this before.
Like your gf getting raped by an octopus ? When I see posts like yours I wish I had a report button. A stupid catchphrase followed by a very offensive comment, not in the least funny like you probably intended it to be. As weird as it may seem, sometimes I'd like my nightmares to last longer, like yours, but just at the critical moment they cut off leaving me with nothing but sweat and a ruined sleep. Seriously ? That is enough to offend you ? I'll edit it if you want but, really, he's the one bringing in his weird shit Well I'm pretty hard to offend actually, but taking a leap from my gf getting shot not being the worst thing I've ever seen to her being raped by an octopus actually reflects more on your weirdness than mine lol.
My weirdness ? Standard japanese lol ^^
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On June 08 2012 02:37 Marti wrote:Show nested quote +On June 07 2012 23:54 emythrel wrote:On June 07 2012 23:47 Marti wrote:On June 07 2012 21:18 Incze wrote:On June 07 2012 19:54 Marti wrote:Drugs are bad ... Mkay On June 07 2012 11:46 emythrel wrote: seeing my gf get shot isn't enough to wake me, I've dreamed way worse things than this before.
Like your gf getting raped by an octopus ? When I see posts like yours I wish I had a report button. A stupid catchphrase followed by a very offensive comment, not in the least funny like you probably intended it to be. As weird as it may seem, sometimes I'd like my nightmares to last longer, like yours, but just at the critical moment they cut off leaving me with nothing but sweat and a ruined sleep. Seriously ? That is enough to offend you ? I'll edit it if you want but, really, he's the one bringing in his weird shit Well I'm pretty hard to offend actually, but taking a leap from my gf getting shot not being the worst thing I've ever seen to her being raped by an octopus actually reflects more on your weirdness than mine lol. My weirdness ? Standard japanese lol ^^
Ah ur Japanese? that explains it then ;p good times!
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On June 08 2012 00:05 emythrel wrote:Show nested quote +On June 07 2012 12:23 ZisforZerg wrote:Very interesting. I've been reading quite a bit about Bipolar Disorder for my Psychology class. Thank you for sharing.It's good to read about it from a psychologist's perspective in textbooks but something entirely different to hear it directly from someone living through it. Do you have many reoccuring dreams? If so, do you know what triggers said dreams? When did you first "know" there was something not 100% right about your brain? As an added note, if you take offense to any of these questions I am extremely sorry. I mean no harm, having English be my second language sometimes hinders my ability to communicate using the proper tone and so forth. Ok so meant to answer these when I got up this morning but didn't have time..... here we go.... Do you have many reoccuring dreams? Yes I do. There is one in particular that I've been having since childhood, though I won't discuss it here, literally haunts me. When I am in a depressive phase, I usually have it at least twice a week. If so, do you know what triggers said dreams? In general, they are somewhat tied in to my depressive phases, but that could just be confirmation bias on my part. I have a couple of friends who are also bi-polar who have similar experiences. The one person I know who is on the high end of the bi-polar scale (has delusions of grandeur and all that shit) said once that they have been having the same dream nearly every night for the last 10 years, but you unfortunately have to take everything he says with a grain of salt because he is literally not able to function like a normal person and doesn't know what way is up most of the time. When did you first "know" there was something not 100% right about your brain? I've known for pretty much as far back as I can remember that something "wasn't right" but I really knew for sure at about 11 years old that I needed to go see a doctor because as I put it at the time "I think I'm a bit mental mum"
Thank you for sharing such deeply personal stories and experiences. I am happy that you live a good life, keep at it, mate.
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On June 07 2012 11:46 emythrel wrote:
[...] the big guy barring the door was Diablo himself [...]
Diablo is a girl. She's got boobs.
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EPT
