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On food, attitude, weight, and relationships

Blogs > Vega62a
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Vega62a
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
946 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-05-02 17:39:09
May 02 2012 17:32 GMT
#1
This is kind of an entry in my series on depression, but not really. I think I consider it as such because those blogs are as much a series of confessions about what a stupid, shitty person I am capable of being as anything else, and this one is too. I haven't written in a while, for reasons that aren't important, but I wanted to talk to you about something that I think about a lot.

It's an enormous wall of text, so I've spoilered it all by category.

----

A discussion of what I know on why we're as obese as we are:
+ Show Spoiler +

I live in America. More than a third of all Americans are obese, and living where I do (mid-sized city in Iowa) it's not hard to see why.

The most obvious reason is our food, but not just that, our food culture. The most common adjective applied to Midwestern cuisine in general is "hearty." It's not surprising - the Midwest is primarily composed of farmland, and our traditions grew out of farming traditions. Farm meals are hearty, because farmers work their asses off. Steak, potatoes, chicken, bacon, gravy, greens, corn, "rib-sticking" food, and way too much of it. I occasionally work on a farm of a family friend on the weekends, and when we eat, we eat. We cook whole chickens, giant steaks, pots full of potatoes. We sautee asparagus in butter. We eat most of it. Our host, who lives on this farm more than half the time, and was raised on that farm, pushes food on us. This is also a key part of Midwestern food culture.

I don't have experience eating with a lot of other families (growing up, my family hosted most of the meals, and my mother did her best to make sure I didn't become overweight, and now I host all of the meals, since I'm the only one who can cook). However, I have some, and when I do eat with other families, I get similar sorts of food. Giant steaks, greens cooked with bacon, heavy salads with cheese. This kind of food is Midwestern family-and-friends food. It's not particularly healthy, but that by itself isn't damning. After all, we don't always eat with family and friends, and I don't think everybody cooks like that for themselves.

A larger problem is that the Midwest in general doesn't really understand the notion of portioning. In America we're trained from birth to do everything big. Big cars, big houses, big jobs, big personalities. Big is a sign of success. The kind of food I've described isn't terribly healthy, but the bigger issue is that both at home and when dining out, we get way too much of it. Nicer restaurants are an exception, but in general, both in chain restaurants and local places, you're not so much supposed to walk out as waddle. Add that to the fact that most of our foods are simple carbs, starches, fats, and salts, (name me an American restaurant that doesn't have at least one fall-back hamburger on their menu) and you've got a recipe for problems. But even that by itself isn't entirely damning.

The biggest problem, frankly, is that we just don't get out that much.

We are not the only people who eat really unhealthy food. Basically all of East Asia has a massive hard-on for pork belly, which is uncured bacon. It's really freaking delicious, and while it's true that their portions tend to be much smaller, it's also much more likely that they've not driven to the store to buy it.

Most American towns, especially in the Midwest, are not dense. We are a car-obsessed people, and doubly-so in places like this - there are maybe a dozen bus routes in this whole city, and none run past 6PM, or on Sundays. Walking to the grocery store takes half an hour from where I live (and I live "close" to a grocery store) and there are no sidewalks for half of it. People frequently stare at you when you walk places. (I like to imagine that they're thinking, what is he doing? Is his car in the shop?) There are maybe five bike lanes in the whole town. (I frequently alternate between calling it a city and a town. I do not plan on attempting to stop.) It is, put simply, not a place where you can do much but drive if you want to get anywhere.

None of these things by themselves is responsible for why the U.S. is so obese, (Japan, for example, is very close to the U.S. in terms of cars per person) and there are a dozen other reasons which are far more complicated and contested, including our sedentary lifestyles, the shift in the workplace from active to sedentary jobs, and our mass consumption of corn and corn syrups.


The reason I said all that, though, is because I wanted to talk about weight, and one's attitude towards one's weight.
+ Show Spoiler +

I was lucky. Really lucky. Growing up, my mother insisted on feeding me reasonable portions of healthy food, and she forced me to exercise, whether it be running, biking, walking, or lifting weights. I've got a muscular build by nature, and as a child, I built up a large amount of muscle which I've been able to maintain with minimal effort even through some bad periods, so that I never wound up horribly overweight. In college, when I developed some of the worst eating habits of my life, (one of my staple meals was a pan-fried 1lb pork steak and mashed potatoes) I had to walk everywhere, which would frequently total 3-5 miles a day, usually with a massive backpack. Even when I got hold of a car, there was nowhere to put it on campus, so there was no point to trying to drive to class.

After I graduated, I found a job as an Engineer in Iowa, and the effects of my diet, but minus the constant walking, became apparent. I gained about twenty pounds and put on such a gut that my male friends from college actually commented on it.

I hated it. Even though I was solidly dating a girl who I felt sure I was going to marry at some point, (I didn't) I hated it. I felt lazy and weak and generally deficient as a person. And this is not the right way to think about being overweight, and this is where I'm really going with this blog post:

There are several of different attitudes that I've encountered which people have towards being overweight.

-Some people don't give a shit. They're fat, their wife is fat, their kids are fat, and you can go fuck yourself.

-Some people are defensive and self-deluding about it. They're not fat, they're naturally big. They're curvy or dignified or rotund. They're traditionally attractive, and did you know that ancient cultures were more attracted to people who were overweight because it was a sign of wealth? Plus they're genetically incapable of losing weight because their parents were fat, and they probably have a glandular problem, but no, they haven't had it checked. And besides, all those skinny people need to eat a sandwich. This is, in my experience, the broadest group of people I've met, possibly because they're the most vocal.

-Some people are quiet about it. I equate this with acceptance, but often times it's more like despair. They have tried fad diets and fat camps and every other lose-weight-quick scheme and none of it has worked for them. These people typically exhibit the same self-hatred that I felt. This leads to feelings of depression, which leads to melancholy, which is the opposite of motivation, which is what you really need to lose weight.

-Some people are depressed about it, and more so because they feel like they're doing what they should be and it's not working. They do yoga a few times a week, skip breakfast, and wonder why they're not losing weight.

-Some people, like me, are vocally and vehemently self-hating about it. They see being overweight as a sign that they are not capable of taking care of themselves like an adult, of being stupid and incompetent and lazy. This is unhealthy because it leads them to do what I did, and do horrible things to their bodies. (I frequently pulled muscles, and as a result I now have aches all over at the age of 25.) In addition, it causes them to look down on others who are overweight, which doesn't help anybody.

-Some people, though, are honest about it. They understand that they are overweight because they had poor habits, and to fix this, they will need to reshape their habits, often completely.

The key to it, I think, is self-honesty, because it seems to me that a lot of folks, especially in America, where we are taught that it is more important to sound right than to be be right. You probably don't have a glandular problem. Those skinny people are healthy. We no longer live in an ancient culture. You may have a large body frame, but you still have a bunch of fat on your body.

This applies to the other end of the scale, though, as well. You were teased as a kid because you had a naturally larger frame, even though you had very little fat on you. (This one applies to girls more than boys, including my girlfriend, who I will discuss a bit later.) This is a common cause of eating disorders, and any unhealthy eating habits, be they eating too much or too little, can lead to obesity down the road. You were overweight as a child because your parents shoved food on your plate and it was greasy and salty and delicious. You are not overweight because you're a failure as a person, and you're not incapable of losing it. .


For me personally, this has strongly impacted my relationships. The truth is this: I am not a very good person. And I have a strong need to tell that to somebody who will believe me, and that person is, as it has been for much of my life, the internet.
+ Show Spoiler +

I date for personality. A lot of guys say that, but I actually do. Most of my girlfriends have been pretty, but very few have ever been really hot. I'm okay with that. I need to be physically attracted to somebody at some level to have a relationship with them, but if my dick doesn't jump off my body to greet them every time they come over, that's all right. I fall in love with a kind personality, a generous spirit, a strength of character, a sharp wit, and a broad mind. And a pretty face.

Because here's the deal: You can fix a mediocre body. You can't fix an ugly face, and as the joke goes, you can't fix stupid.

But that's what's gotten me into trouble. None of my last three girlfriends have been particularly healthy. Two of them were sort of petite, but my current girlfriend is out-and-out overweight, and just hides it well. And it bugs me, but what bugs me more is that it's not enough to push me over the edge to ending it, because I firmly believe that a good spirit is far rarer than a good body. But I still have that attitude I described earlier about people who are overweight. Only, until recently, I didn't admit it.

My girlfriend fell into the second category that I described earlier. She was defensive and vocal about how she was just fine the way she was, until I frankly asked her if she wanted to lose weight, and she told me she did, but had not a fucking clue how to do it, and had tried and failed in the past. She told me this as she frankly gobbled chips and salsa from a huge bag that she'd bought at the store. This, combined with my attitude, was not a good recipe for a healthy relationship, and it wasn't, but I'm glad I stuck with it, because it is now.

I happened to have a gym membership that I wasn't using (a story for another day) and I gave it to her. There was a gym literally a block away from her apartment.

But with her, I fell into the same bad habits I'd fallen into with the previous two girls - I began to push them to exercise. To eat healthy. I felt like I was helping them, and to a degree, I was - in that pushing was useful advice, things I'd learned from my own life. Don't eat starchy foods to get your carbs, eat complex grains like quinoa and amaranth. Don't keep snack foods in your house, because you'll eat them, because they're delicious. Go to the gym even when you don't feel like it. Don't give yourself food-based rewards for exercising. Never say "well I exercised today, so this is okay." Avoid red meat. Eat fist-sized portions. Don't cook in butter.

At first, this sort of thing can be helpful to somebody who's struggling to stay motivated. But nobody wants to be coached by their boyfriend, and for me, that's something that's hard to come to terms with, because I'm a fixer. That's my personality. I see an issue, and I get tunnel vision until it's resolved. Adding to that the negative undertones I developed because of my attitude, and as with my previous two girlfriends, it became a source of bitterness and resentment. It's not been why we ended, but it's been part of it.

As I mentioned before, though, I'm a lucky person. She's as stubborn as I am pushy, and although this resulted in a disgusting number of fights, we eventually came to see one another. I came to understand where her motivation troubles came from - in truth, she had never really tried to lose weight. She thought she had, but she had fallen into the yoga-and-skipping-breakfast category of person, willfully forgetting (as so many of us do) that you can't eat chips after dinner just because you skipped breakfast, and that while yoga and pilates are great for strength and flexibility, nobody ever lost 40 pounds by only sitting on a yoga mat. You need cardiovascular exercise, and she had undiagnosed asthma that prevented her from doing that. In turn, I saw that my pushing only made it harder on her, and on us, and recognized that I am a fixer. (I honestly had never considered myself such.)

This may be the part where a bunch of you tell me "dude you should just dump her if she's fat and that bugs you." I've thought of that. I have dated people in the past for no reason other than my low self-esteem, and I have been very cautious in this relationship to ensure that this was not happening again. The fact is, I need to be honest with myself too. I'm not the kind of guy who gets the bombshell, and frankly, if I am, I'm not the one who really likes her. I've dated a couple of 9s. We didn't get along very well. They were very nice people, but I am glad I'm not still in those relationships. It's far rarer that I find someone who I like spending time with. That may not make sense to you, but it makes sense to me. I want my girlfriend to lose weight. I want to lose weight myself.

But I have had to learn literally everything that I have listed above before I could really come to terms with it. I have come to understand that somebody being fat now doesn't mean they will be fat forever, and often times they simply do not have the knowledge they need to lose weight, and that if you can be patient with somebody you love who is also overweight, it can be completely worth it.
+ Show Spoiler +
Plus, post-run endorphin-high sex is amazing.



****
Content of my posts reflects only my personal opinions, and not those of any employer or subsidiary
C0ntrast
Profile Joined April 2011
Germany96 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-05-02 19:03:25
May 02 2012 19:02 GMT
#2
I gotta disagree on that part here
You were overweight as a child because your parents shoved food on your plate and it was greasy and salty and delicious. You are not overweight because you're a failure as a person, and you're not incapable of losing it. .

I was / am Obese myself (i dropped from 280 lbs to 230 lbs in the last 5 months with an unbelievable increase in muscle mass, im about 6'3"). I was obese all my life (im 20 now), living in Germany. I didnt really know what was the matter with me liking mcdonalds that much etc, but thats not my point.
My point is, EVERYONE at ANY Situation has a mind to think on its own (not when youre 5 or 6, obv). Im talking bout 12 yo or older. You CAN realize that things you eat arent good for you nor your health, the thing is do you WANT to realize it?
I for myself i didnt want to, cuz that stuff smelled and tasted so delicious it was heaven on earth. But since i turned 19 it started to bother, do not question why, but i didnt feel confident. So one day, i started exercising. I mean, why not. Since that point (that was 5 months ago) i didnt touch nor eat anything junkfood related or candies / chocolate / cookies etc etc.
If YOU want to change something, it doesnt matter how old you are or how your parents influenced on you. Thats fascinating about the human species. They think.

Otherwise, very well written, i feel you. My friend is trapped in a depression too, its a serious thing.
우정호 :(
YPang
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States4024 Posts
May 02 2012 19:03 GMT
#3
I read the entire thing.

I think it's useless to try to make ur gf lose weight if she's not motivated enough to do it herself. In fact, she'll probably hate u for trying to make her lose weight and go to the gym if she didn't truly want to.

In my opinion, the right way to go about making someone else lose weight is to simply just tell them the dangers of being obese, and set a good example yourself and take the lead by eating healthy at home or in restaurants....etc, and just hope for the best that she'll be more motivated to achieve a healthier lifestyle.
sMi.Gladstone | BW: B high| SC2: gold T_T
Vega62a
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
946 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-05-02 19:22:58
May 02 2012 19:19 GMT
#4
On May 03 2012 04:02 C0ntrast wrote:
I gotta disagree on that part here
Show nested quote +
You were overweight as a child because your parents shoved food on your plate and it was greasy and salty and delicious. You are not overweight because you're a failure as a person, and you're not incapable of losing it. .

I was / am Obese myself (i dropped from 280 lbs to 230 lbs in the last 5 months with an unbelievable increase in muscle mass, im about 6'3"). I was obese all my life (im 20 now), living in Germany. I didnt really know what was the matter with me liking mcdonalds that much etc, but thats not my point.
My point is, EVERYONE at ANY Situation has a mind to think on its own (not when youre 5 or 6, obv). Im talking bout 12 yo or older. You CAN realize that things you eat arent good for you nor your health, the thing is do you WANT to realize it?
I for myself i didnt want to, cuz that stuff smelled and tasted so delicious it was heaven on earth. But since i turned 19 it started to bother, do not question why, but i didnt feel confident. So one day, i started exercising. I mean, why not. Since that point (that was 5 months ago) i didnt touch nor eat anything junkfood related or candies / chocolate / cookies etc etc.
If YOU want to change something, it doesnt matter how old you are or how your parents influenced on you. Thats fascinating about the human species. They think.

Otherwise, very well written, i feel you. My friend is trapped in a depression too, its a serious thing.


I'm not saying that the only instance when anybody is overweight is when their parents fed them poorly. But when you're raised thinking a certain diet is normal, it's not a matter of simple common sense to break habits that sort of upbringing creates.

Of course you are capable of changing the habits you gained. But until you do, you are essentially disadvantaged by your upbringing. That is where my girlfriend is at now - her mother cooks all this amazing, horrible food (green beans with bacon, for example) and serves heaping portions of it, so she learned to eat in that way. It's hard to break that sort of habit, as you well know. It's happening, but, as I said, she's starting at a disadvantage.


On May 03 2012 04:03 YPang wrote:
I read the entire thing.

I think it's useless to try to make ur gf lose weight if she's not motivated enough to do it herself. In fact, she'll probably hate u for trying to make her lose weight and go to the gym if she didn't truly want to.

In my opinion, the right way to go about making someone else lose weight is to simply just tell them the dangers of being obese, and set a good example yourself and take the lead by eating healthy at home or in restaurants....etc, and just hope for the best that she'll be more motivated to achieve a healthier lifestyle.


I think I didn't explain it very well. She is now motivated to do it herself, but when I had been trying to "make" her lose weight, it was pointless, as you said. Recently I have been working with her to develop healthy recipes (she loves cooking almost as much as I do) and going to the gym with her. My goal is for the two of us to go together five times a week. This has worked wonders.
Content of my posts reflects only my personal opinions, and not those of any employer or subsidiary
Mothra
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States1448 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-05-02 19:32:20
May 02 2012 19:27 GMT
#5
I suspect that most of the excess calories that people ingest to the point of obesity come from drinks, sauces, and sugars. At least meat and butter etc fill you up, but when you wash it down with soda and top it with sugary dessert, calories go way up without giving you that "I'm too full to eat anymore" feeling. Even if your diet was all meat, I think it would be hard to consume massive amounts of calories if it weren't for sodas, snacks, alcohol and whatever else that is high calorie and low/no fiber/protein/water. I think "diets" should be simplified instead of obsessively managed. First objective is to cut out drinks with sugar or alcohol. Second objective replace processed snacks (chips and ice cream) with stuff like nuts and fruits. These two alone should make a big dent... and of course cook your own food as much as possible and avoid fast food places.

Jack Lalanne was telling people this way back in the 50s. He was a smart guy:

+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUWTq9SWEZs&feature=relmfu
Vega62a
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
946 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-05-02 19:59:00
May 02 2012 19:58 GMT
#6
On May 03 2012 04:27 Mothra wrote:
I suspect that most of the excess calories that people ingest to the point of obesity come from drinks, sauces, and sugars. At least meat and butter etc fill you up, but when you wash it down with soda and top it with sugary dessert, calories go way up without giving you that "I'm too full to eat anymore" feeling. Even if your diet was all meat, I think it would be hard to consume massive amounts of calories if it weren't for sodas, snacks, alcohol and whatever else that is high calorie and low/no fiber/protein/water. I think "diets" should be simplified instead of obsessively managed. First objective is to cut out drinks with sugar or alcohol. Second objective replace processed snacks (chips and ice cream) with stuff like nuts and fruits. These two alone should make a big dent... and of course cook your own food as much as possible and avoid fast food places.

Jack Lalanne was telling people this way back in the 50s. He was a smart guy:

+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUWTq9SWEZs&feature=relmfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuW3RfWJ1H0


A good portion of the excess calories we consume do come from, as you mentioned, drinks and sauces and sugars. My particular vice here is alcohol, which is why I have to maintain an otherwise relatively spartan diet to stay in shape.

However, if you eat until you're full every day, that is not the right amount of food to eat. In the midwest in particular, it's usually that we're encouraged to eat till we're stuffed. I've known people who don't drink soda, booze, or eat sweets with any sort of frequency, but their other eating habits are shitty so they're overweight.

A good trick I've learned is to automatically assume that any food you haven't cooked yourself is fattening. It's not that you have to avoid these foods, just be careful with them.

I don't really think we should go on "a diet" so much as we should change "our diet." A diet will end. Having a good diet won't.
Content of my posts reflects only my personal opinions, and not those of any employer or subsidiary
Erasme
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Bahamas15899 Posts
May 02 2012 21:05 GMT
#7
I eat only when I'm hungry and I'm not overweight at all, even skinny. But I have a very very bad health. I think you can be overweight (not heavily ofc) and still be healthy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7lxwFEB6FI “‘Drain the swamp’? Stupid saying, means nothing, but you guys loved it so I kept saying it.”
Ahzz
Profile Joined May 2007
Finland780 Posts
May 02 2012 21:12 GMT
#8
I totally feel you man, since I'm a fixer myself too. If someone does something wrong, I feel compelled to tell them it's wrong even if that person has no desire to change their ways even if they knew better. But I don't understand that, I want to share knowledge and experiences and things to make life better, and if someone is 100% in the wrong, I cannot understand or rarely even stand them not heeding advice when they have zero arguments on their side. Almost as if their pride and laziness is preventing them from changing for the better and doing things more efficiently and in more enjoyable manner.
But that's a flaw in me too. While I have realized I have this fixer attitude in me, only recently have I found some motivation to fix it. It's not exactly the most social or the best attitude to have around people, and while I NEVER have any intention of bragging with anything I try to tell other people, it probably often sounds like I do. I've been trying to hold off a lot of it recently though.

But yes, one has to understand him/herself what it means to change lifelong habits, experience new things, and be determined to lose weight. Everyone thinks it would be fun to be able to lift 100kg benchpress, everyone would want to be able to do 20 chin-ups. Many would like to run the marathon within 4 hours of time. But we have to understand by ourselves, from within ourselves WHY we want to do it, or more specifically, why we are not doing it. No matter how much someone is encouraged to go to the gym, no matter how much they are encouraged to do something, they will either not do it or they will stop doing it shortly thereafter because they don't feel like it. Because they didn't enjoy it, or see a reason to do it. They have to understand what it means to work for your goals, and what the reward is.

The best way, which is not natural for me (I have to particularily push myself not to say anything) is to just lead a life by an example, and share knowledge when someone asks it, while encouraging someone to take part in your activities, without forcing it on him. If you are close to that person and lead an exemplary life, he/she will start to feel a need to change their habits as well. That, or the person does not value physical health very high, in which case it's slightly questionable if they are so pretty inside after all.
TabyLing
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Australia69 Posts
May 02 2012 22:55 GMT
#9
I don't really agree at all that you can't push your partner to be more healthy and active. Sure people don't like to change their life style in the start and it is pretty hard to start, but after doing it for awhile you can feel alot better and I think you start to really enjoy exercise too. Your partner can be a great pusher and motivater. I was never fat, but that is probably more because I basically didn't eat and the fat I do have is all on my bum and under my chin, don't really put it on my arms or stomach. I never ate breakfast and I ate pretty bad and junkfoodie. Probably being vegetarian stopped me from being really fat too. But I was super unhealthy and really unfit.
My bf told me you know breakfast is the most important meal of the day it should be the biggest and the most full of carbs and that stuff, cause you are breaking your fast you are eating that so you will have fuel and energy for the day. If you really wanna lose weight in fact you should do some exercise in the morning so your body is starting to work and burn energy and then you should have your nice good breakfast so your body becomes like a burning furnace of using the calories. Lunch should be a decent meal, but dinner should just be fruits and salads, I mean after all what are you doing after you eat your dinner? sleeping, your body does not need to be digesting while its trying to sleeping. My exercise started with me only being able to walk DOWN this massive extremely steep hill that went forever and ever with steps and such and my gosh it was steep, it hurt my legs just to walk down it. In the end I was jogging up and down it 3 times then walking back home through the bushy kinda track. He pushed me to get up early and go to yoga and to do my exercise, sometimes I would do it in the evening my uni accom had a little gym thing that was free, it didnt have a huge amount in it but I could use the rowing machine and the running machine do skipping and abs, at first it was hard and horror and I was like omgish are you just sadistic??? but then I was happier, more energy, more healthy, I felt better my confidence went up it was the cure all he always told me it was. I did stop though, they moved the little gym there to this weird creepy house at the top of this dark hill, it looked like the kind of shack thing from a horror movie, all i could imagine while i went there was a killer coming out and murdering me ;/ my uni schedual and work schedual made it hard to go and I lost motivation. Now my work colleague and I go three times a week to a different paid for gym togeather and it is really great. I would never have made these healthy changes to my life style if my bf didn't push me and educate me. Some people maybe don't want to listen, maybe the way you say it is bad, I didn't really want to listen at first, but the things he said made sense you know, and when I followed the advice and felt the benefits.

I think the hardest thing for people is they have to change their life style, there is no such thing as a fad diet that makes you lose all your weight in just a few months, there is no quick fix, it takes a long time. People just want it to happen like BAM with no real work, just with some magic that doesn't exist. Finding someone who can motivate you and push you and be there to make you do it when you don't really feel like it is great. My work colleague comes from a really long distance away so she has to get up at like 4:30am I only have to get up at 6am we are like zombies when we meet up and like super gosu's when we leave the gym feeling happy and full of energy for the day, if she didn't have to come and pick me up there are times she would probably miss, and if she wasn't coming to get me there are times I would miss. You probably can't change someones behaviour if you are just a friend preaching at them, it takes time and energy on your part too, if you really wanna be a fixer you can't just be all blah blah blah you are doing it wrong! Motivation is hard, changing your lifestyle is very hard and just existing and accepting, making excuses is really so easy.

My bf said to me
"Champions train, Losers complain", I hated it at first, cause you know I was making all these excuses "my study is so hard" "I work so much" "I'm so tired", and it was hard to hear such a true statement that really showed up my baboness. Now it is the mantra I tell myself whenever my study feels overwhelming or things are hard and I just want to make excuses and be all omg its sooooooooooooo hard. But i say that to myself and I wanna be the champion, there is no room for complaining and excuses just doing and being strong.
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