Japanese language

On March 29 2012 22:49 Tobberoth wrote:
まらえませんか？

On March 29 2012 23:17 rgfdxm wrote:


Typo there, should be 「もらえませんか？」

On March 30 2012 00:07 AmericanUmlaut wrote:
I would also just use 作ったかどうか instead of 作り上げたかどうか, as the second implies that they made it for someone, which isn't clear from your description, and if they did make it for someone, but whoever they made it for is associated with your company, then you would need to use 作り下ったかどうか.

As the others have written, you can also just write in English, but I think it's a nice gesture to make the first contact in your target's native language.

On March 30 2012 00:00 Ecael wrote:
I'd recommend you just to use English, but what Tobberoth provided should get across fine.

It'd be a bit freaky if I was working in Japan and gets something with perfect keigo usage from outside of Japan anyway. Either way, you won't be continuing exchanges in Japanese in the first place, so as a customer you could easily have dropped most of the formality.

If I have to nitpick though, 明らかにして is a bit clunky and you'd be better off using just 教えて. Also rather than もらえる you should be using くださる. Oh, and it should be 宜しければ rather than よかったら.

On March 30 2012 02:04 Rus_Brain wrote:
Tobberoth thank you very much

On March 30 2012 02:13 Tasaio wrote:
That mail should get the point across just fine.

But other than what Ecael said earlier, using 拝啓 and 敬具 in this case is weirdly formal, and incorrect without a seasonal greeting. It's especially strange with the informal tone used later in the text.

Also, you should be presenting yourself in the start of the email.

On March 30 2012 02:36 Tobberoth wrote:

Yeah, I was unsure about adding it. Writing a proper japanese business letter is way too complicated (and quite a lot of work for such a small request), but since you don't want to be overly casual, I thought I'd add it in anyway, the receiver might consider it nice for a foreigner to attempt to write a bit more formal than needed.

On March 30 2012 02:50 Ecael wrote:
If we want to get technical then いただく is a bit more accurate than くださる insofar as you are requesting them to reveal information, though tbh the difference there is slim. I guess since this is written we can stick to いただく. Either way, もらえる would still be the 基本語, so the contrast in politeness level stood out. In terms of the politeness level you seemed to be aiming for overall, with the greetings included, the frankness that the rest of your sentences have was peculiar. That's why I focused my points to keep it more or less in keigo rather than have a dash of regular speak.

As for 明らかにする that'd literally be asking for them to reveal themselves, which isn't as business like as it is bizarre, and further clashes with the general polite tone. About 作り上げる, it does imply that they were contracted by a third party to complete a request, so Umlaut is right.

The part about the greetings is like as Tasaio said, I completely didn't notice it but you would need the seasonal greeting and such to make that work, but afaik people don't really do business stuff like that. I guess introducing yourself at the start of the mail would only make sense too if we want to stick to a polite inquiry rather than just a casual note.

In all...would be much easier to use English


Then you should've stuck to all keigo lol

On March 30 2012 03:01 Tobberoth wrote:

I can't find any indication in several 国語辞書 that 作り上げる has any implication of doing it for a third party, do you have a source for that?

I also feel your exaggerating about 明らかにする, it means to reveal or to clarify, and implies removal of doubt. An example of a natural japanese sentence using it in a similar way would be 論点を明らかにする, it's not bizarre at all.

On March 30 2012 03:34 Ecael wrote:

Meh I guess it is just an implication in some of the specific definitions, all of it just mean 作る・作り出す・製造 anyway.

論点を明らかにする isn't bizarre, but telling someone to do that? Keep in mind that it means from はっきりさせる to 秘密・真相などを明らかにする. It won't be an inquiry, it'd be you demanding that they reveal what they know.

On March 30 2012 03:39 Tobberoth wrote:

Well, it's not like you're demanding them to do something if you're asking them to do something. I guess it depends on your perspective, I certainly don't have enough experience with the phrase to say for sure, but since OP thinks they made the vessel and wants to know for sure, I see no problem in asking them to はっきりさせる, the semantic meaning fits perfectly fine, but of course, it's never that easy with a different language.

On March 30 2012 03:46 Ecael wrote:

Yeah, but you don't use はっきりする lightly. In English, the difference between 教える and はっきりする would be like, if you would 'let me know' vs 'make it clear'. You can use the former nicely, the latter is you demanding them to divulge information to you.