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A drunk story : there's blood on the walls

Blogs > Kukaracha
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Kukaracha
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
France1954 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-03-19 20:24:19
March 19 2012 11:38 GMT
#1
+ Show Spoiler +
There are too many emo blogs around here. Should I talk to this girl, this girl won't talk to me, I followed this girl around why wouldn't she talk to me anymore, this girl used me but I love her, oh my god my pencil just broke, etc, etc.

So here's a story to fight all of that emo bullshit.


I was 16. (Just so you stop telling me to stop drinking - 4 years have past, alright?)

There was a girl on my class who had a crush on me. I would turn around and catch her huge blue eyes staring at me all the time. She was pretty cute, but I was pretty virgin so I didn't really thought of it as an occasion. She wasn't pretty enough to make me want to take the leap and quit my bad boy act to nervously talk my way into her pants (or heart).
She's however the source of the emo part of my story : after drooling over me and dragging me to her house once after a class trip, I eventually developped a crush on her. But then I became stupid and romantic, the problem being that she was a slut and she probably just wanted to fuck. Everyone knew that she was a slut involved in a couple of shady hippie stories, everyone but me : to me, she was pure, the chosen one who would bring and end to my loneliness, the one who would join me in my ivory tower. But me becoming a loving virgin made her lose all interest.

END of the emo part. Now comes the time of BLOOD and VODKA.

+ Show Spoiler +
Please note that while I'm not talking about her in this story, I'm currently dating one of the girls of that class, who was one of the hottests and smartests girls around. It's been two years. But that's another story.


Fast forward a couple of weeks. A weird girl in my class was throwing a party, and everyone was invited. Mind you, it was a weird group of people : some were just odd (some wannabe junkies), some were hardcore bookworms/future otakus, a few were "normal" and 4 or 3 were truely interesting people. But everyone was nice, even though we didn't get along that well in such a feminine environment (we were 7 boys to 20 girls). I was one of the weird kids, kind of a loner, but at the same time I was one of the smartests kids in school and pretty buff to boot, probably a badass in the bookworms' eyes - they really liked me, while I would act all snobbish and superior around them.

So it's a very shitty time, and it's a very shitty day (I don't remember why) and - lo and behold... I have a zit on my nose. Just one. Small, but on the middle of it. I still head to the party because I want to confess to that girl and well I wasn't that self-conscious.
Me and two friends get to the party, everything's fine. I start drinking beer (I hate beer), we're having fun, cool, usual party stuff. I believe some of the bookworms get flirty with me, but I'm like heeell naw, some business needs to be taken care of. "She" is in the kitchen, almost alone, and so I head there, somehow confess, and she rejects me with a stupid excuse I don't remember anymore ("I'm not ready" or something like that).
(Yeah we're in fastforward mode.)

At this point, I'm like, oh okay fine, it's fine really. I leave the kitchen, tell my friend I've been rejected, and being the good friend he is he takes me outside with the boys to have a drink and rant about how she's a bitch and whatnot. I'm drinking more and more, at this point I don't give a fuck about the party. We hang out outside a little, becoming more and more stupid as minutes pass by (do a barrel roll! type of behaviour) then head back inside.
Now, I don't remember the rest really well, so there will be blanks between events.

I'm upstairs, a good friend of my friend is feeling bad. She can't drink with the medication she's taking, so the sips of champagne she had were enough to make her throw up in the toilets for a good 10 minutes. We take care of her, flush the toilet, get her into a room so she can rest, and my friend calls her mother. I head downstairs in a pretty bad fucking mood, and people are playing this drinking game where you have to make a certain sign with your hands, and then your neighbour adds a sign, and so on, and the loser drinks a shot of Vodka. I sit down with them, they try to teach me the rules but I don't even answer much, they just tell me to watch and learn. tl;dr I drink my shot of Vodka. It makes my neighbours laugh, oh no you're cheating blablabla, and they pour a second shot for me. And I'm like, fuck this shit, I drink it again and head back upstairs.
Now, there's this asian girl who's obviously got some huge self-confidence issues, and she's crying on the floor. Like, for no reason. She just drank too much and it made her feel bad. I sit down with her and take her in my arms to confort her, even though I don't really know her and I actually don't really like her. I start talking like a damn prophet, telling her people don't matter, that in life we're on our own, that "we" need to fight against "them", but she's still crying (and not answering) so I leave to check on my sick friend. She needs water, so I head somewhere and take something filled with water, and give it to her almost as if I was Jesus (my friend always remembered this part, it still cracks him up after 4 years). People are being really loud downstairs, having a really good time, and it pisses me off.
I snap.
I rush down the stairs : "TURN THE FUCKING VOLUME DOWN!!"
Everyone looks at me.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, PEOPLE ARE DYING UP HERE, FUCK YOU ALL FUCKING FUCKS"
I then punch the wall a couple of times, pretty hard. There is now blood on the walls and on my hands. Did anyone say buzzkill?
*blank*

I'm at the front door, talking to a random woman who's waiting with her car. I tell her about how alcohol is a terrible thing, and that youth today isn't what it used to be. My crush appears and enters the car, it was her mother. They leave with an awkward smile.
*blank*

People are leaving the party, my friend asks me if I want to leave. Okay, we're leaving, and two girls are coming with us. I wait a few minutes on the floor, while they say goodbye to everyone, but then fuck it, I just open the door and leave. My friend runs up to me and hands me my jacket, obviously worried. We leave with two classmates, one of the girls being that hottie who's now my girlfriend, and the other is a total weirdo who's freaking out because she's scared I'll hurt someone.
*blank*

We're walking, and I notice two guys walking behind us. My friend and the freaked out girl are walking a few meters away from me and the other girl. I tell my partner : "If they hurt you, I'll kill them."
I turn around, and scream : "IF YOU TOUCH HER, I'LL KILL YOU"
My now illogical brain probably thought it was a good idea to deal a preemptive blow just in case. I snap : "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!". I tackle one of these strangers.
A very short fight ensues, my friend comes back to intervene, I step back and apologize, a bit confused. My friend explains that I'm not in a very normal state. We resume our journey.
*blank*

The freaked out girl is missing, it's just the three of us. I walk in the middle of the street, and I think I alternate between crying and laughing in a very worrying way. As we pass by a couple, they laugh at my condition, and I snap again "WHAT? WHAT? I'LL FUCK YOU YOU FUCKS" The guys tells me to piss off, then I snap again, and I kneel on the floor (true story), apologizing for everything, I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm doing, I beg your pardon... then I snap again and leave without a word.
*blank*

It's just me and my friend, on the street. I leave my friend.
*blank*

I'm in my bed.




The next morning, my head hurts, my knuckles are swollen and covered in dry blood. I recall the shamful events of the night...
At first I was like "oh no!" but later I was like : "this is a story..." and a good one.

*
Le long pour l'un pour l'autre est court (le mot-à-mot du mot "amour").
Deleted User 238668
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
344 Posts
March 19 2012 11:44 GMT
#2
Some interesting narrative techniques going on here. Machismo online.
Clip, clop, Camelot.
Rossen
Profile Joined February 2011
Denmark177 Posts
March 19 2012 11:47 GMT
#3
Huh , pretty sick write-up... altho you sound like you'r kinda a dick when you get drunk. No offence :D.
Kukaracha
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
France1954 Posts
March 19 2012 11:51 GMT
#4
The first times I got drunk, alcohol made me behave like a dick, yes. I've since learned moderation and self-control. Even if I get really drunk, I become dumb and sleepy, which is better than assaulting random people on the street.
Le long pour l'un pour l'autre est court (le mot-à-mot du mot "amour").
zalz
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Netherlands3704 Posts
March 19 2012 11:55 GMT
#5
Who the fuck would want to be your friend...

You seem like the stereotypical douchebag that can't hold his alcohol.
Mementoss
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Canada2595 Posts
March 19 2012 11:56 GMT
#6
The nights where you only remember intervals of certain stupid events and your friends tell you the rest of the story are either the really funny ones, or the really bad ones lol.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uu96xMwFVXw
TyrantPotato
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1541 Posts
March 19 2012 12:07 GMT
#7
i would never drink with you.

infact when someone punches a wall in my house, they wake up in the gutter with a broken nose.

your friends have the patience of saints.
Forever ZeNEX.
[TA]eccentric
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Australia55 Posts
March 19 2012 12:07 GMT
#8
you need to like, be more nice <3
Kukaracha
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
France1954 Posts
March 19 2012 12:11 GMT
#9
Haha I thought I'd get some haters by posting this, but not that many. I didn't think I'd get an internet tough guy, too (wink wink TyrantPotato).

I was 16 years-old, I was on the verge of passing out. Relax everyone. It's just a funny story from a bit more than four years ago, and I don't regret it. As I said, it's a story.
Le long pour l'un pour l'autre est court (le mot-à-mot du mot "amour").
Masq
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada1792 Posts
March 19 2012 13:21 GMT
#10
angry drunk alert
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9175 Posts
March 19 2012 13:40 GMT
#11
Enjoyed the story, glad you've calmed down a bit since. I wish i wasn't such a sleepy drunk T.T
Yhamm is the god of predictions
Cyber_Cheese
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Australia3615 Posts
March 19 2012 15:17 GMT
#12
wait what
where was the blood from?
The moment you lose confidence in yourself, is the moment the world loses it's confidence in you.
Uldridge
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Belgium5201 Posts
March 19 2012 15:30 GMT
#13
This is weird, but I've already read this story.. A while ago.
When I started to read it, I knew your friend was going to get sick, you were going to freak out a couple of times and the bit with the chicks and the fight..
What I don't understand is where I've read it, so if the dear Kukaracha could enlighten me, it would be much appreciated.
Taxes are for Terrans
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46263 Posts
March 19 2012 16:31 GMT
#14
On March 20 2012 00:17 Cyber_Cheese wrote:
wait what
where was the blood from?


I think when he punched the wall after shouting that non-existent people were dying while everyone else was enjoying the party.

OP, please tell me you've since learned how to handle one can of beer and two shots of vodka o.O
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Kukaracha
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
France1954 Posts
March 19 2012 17:10 GMT
#15
On March 20 2012 00:30 Uldridge wrote:
This is weird, but I've already read this story.. A while ago.
When I started to read it, I knew your friend was going to get sick, you were going to freak out a couple of times and the bit with the chicks and the fight..
What I don't understand is where I've read it, so if the dear Kukaracha could enlighten me, it would be much appreciated.


It must be a coincidence, because I don't think I've ever told that story with so many details anywhere else on the internet. I might have talked about it on boards that I used to go to, which are the Shroomery, Starcraft Arena, jeuxvideo.com (when I was around 16 actually) and that's about it I believe. But I highly doubt I wrote this story on those boards.


And yes I could handle a beer just fine like everyone else, I drank much more than that and 2 shots of vodka (but I don't remember how much/what).
There actually was way too much alcohol at this party, probably because all of those who took part in it didn't really have any history of partying or drinking (myself included). So everyone pretty much bought a bottle, while one bottle is enough for 5 people at that age. Live and learn I guess.
Le long pour l'un pour l'autre est court (le mot-à-mot du mot "amour").
DreamChaser
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
1649 Posts
March 19 2012 18:05 GMT
#16
BWahahaha this is a great story, you skipped all the boring ass emo parts and went straight to the action for that i applaud and thank you
Plays against every MU with nexus first.
AnachronisticAnarchy
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States2957 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-03-19 18:14:25
March 19 2012 18:13 GMT
#17
And this is why I don't drink. If I ever tried to assault random strangers, hallucinated about dying people, hugged and talked to some crying Asian chick I don't know like Ptolemy on crack or something, damaged my knuckles and then woke up with a massive headache, all in a 24 hour period, I'd probably die of embarassment, especially considering the blanks where lord knows what stupid thing I did. Screw the story. Severe social anxiety and paranoia here we go!
"How are you?" "I am fine, because it is not normal to scream in pain."
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46263 Posts
March 19 2012 18:20 GMT
#18
On March 20 2012 03:13 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:
And this is why I don't drink. If I ever tried to assault random strangers, hallucinated about dying people, hugged and talked to some crying Asian chick I don't know like Ptolemy on crack or something, damaged my knuckles and then woke up with a massive headache, all in a 24 hour period, I'd probably die of embarassment, especially considering the blanks where lord knows what stupid thing I did. Screw the story. Severe social anxiety and paranoia here we go!


Most people can handle their alcohol and can drink responsibly. Or, at least, you can try it with mature friends around you

OP is not a good representative of everyone who has ever drunk alcohol before x.x
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
March 19 2012 19:10 GMT
#19
On March 19 2012 20:55 zalz wrote:
Who the fuck would want to be your friend...

You seem like the stereotypical douchebag that can't hold his alcohol.

Yeah haha, but still better than sad drunks .
User was warned for too many mimes.
Ayush_SCtoss
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
India3051 Posts
March 19 2012 19:31 GMT
#20
I must say, I want friends like yours lol They sound awesome.
Also, that party has a lot of shit going on lol Almost seems like that party episode of HIMYM, with the beekeeper suit catching on fire and stuff. So much stuff going on. I enjoyed the read and lold.
End my suffering
Wortie
Profile Joined September 2011
Netherlands212 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-03-19 19:57:08
March 19 2012 19:53 GMT
#21
You're really bad with alcohol, I would recommend to not drink EVER again. Just for the health of your girlfriend.
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17922 Posts
March 19 2012 19:57 GMT
#22
rofl

ILL FUCK YOU YOU FUCK

piss off

oh my god i lold
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
KLsehnsucht
Profile Joined February 2012
8 Posts
March 19 2012 21:08 GMT
#23
On March 19 2012 20:38 Kukaracha wrote:
The next morning, my head hurts, my knuckles are swollen and covered in dry blood. I recall the shamful events of the night...
At first I was like "oh no!" but later I was like : "this is a story..." and a good one.


This was the cherry on top. Thanks this brightened up my day.
Hey look, a puppy!
GeckoVOD
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
Germany814 Posts
March 19 2012 21:25 GMT
#24
I didn't get the funny part.
@DonGeckone on Twitterstuff // JOIN THE YODA FANCLUB OR YOU'RE REALLY REALLY UNCOOL: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=398220
RaiD.RaynoR
Profile Joined February 2012
United States294 Posts
March 19 2012 21:27 GMT
#25
I really don't understand how this story is funny. Kinda makes me mad actually at how stupid kids can be. I'm also happy for you but you don't need to show it off if you know what I mean.
Redemption is the consequence of forgiveness
iSometric
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
2221 Posts
March 19 2012 21:35 GMT
#26
So you're a mean person... LOL.
strava.com/athletes/zhaodynasty
Kojak21
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Canada1104 Posts
March 19 2012 21:37 GMT
#27
You sound like a terrible person to hang around
¯\_(☺)_/¯
Kukaracha
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
France1954 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-03-19 22:17:02
March 19 2012 22:14 GMT
#28
Well, I guess I did a lot of fun stuff as a kid.
And I'm really fun to hang around, because I have such stories to tell!
Le long pour l'un pour l'autre est court (le mot-à-mot du mot "amour").
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