EPTI've wanted to write about this for a while, but I felt I needed to wait around for valentines to share this story.
Preface
I'm not a huge supporter of Valentines Day, but I am a huge supporter of "love." In my younger years it wasn't the case. Growing up, especially with friends like the ones I had, talking about something like love was considered, oddly enough, kind of "gay." "Guys don't talk about that kind of stuff" would be the kind of mentality I would use to summarize the feelings toward the subject amongst my friends. But, when the misogyny quickly wore away, I found myself thinking about something more.
When you're only focused on objectifying women, it's easy to lose sight of the people around you and only focus on yourself -- you're only focused on fulfilling your own wants and desires. For whatever reason, however, my focus started to change. I started taking into consideration my family, specifically my younger sisters. For those of you who are older brothers like me, you are probably protective of your sisters. You want them to end up with good guys who will treat them right -- quite the opposite of how I was treating women. With this in mind, I started to think of the kind of guy I would be to bring home. If I wanted my sisters to bring home good guys, why wouldn't I want my girlfriend to do the same? So I started to work on myself. Trying to be less selfish and self-centered and, instead, become more thoughtful, caring, and kind. As I put more effort into the kind of guy I wanted to be, though, I started to think more seriously about the girl that I wanted to end up with. Someone who was willing to put in as much effort into a relationship for me as I would, assumably, for her. Makes sense. However, the difficult part is knowing when you've found someone like that -- when you've "fallen in love." Now, I've never had a good understanding of what it's like to fall in love. It's that bridge between finding someone you're interested in and finding that person who you might possibly spend the rest of your life with. Like in snowboarding when you are first learning to carve: you know where you're starting, and you know what your end-goal is, but all the in-between stuff (changing edges, getting a feel for your balance, etc.) creates this gap that you need to fill. Luckily, if you're like me, you have friends that you can learn from. Which brings me to the main story for the blog and probably one of the best love stories that I have ever heard of . . .
The Story
I've know this Korean couple for about a year now and they are perhaps the closest friends I've ever had. Instead of writing an exhaustive list of how great I think they are though ^.~ I want to share with you all the story of how they came together as a couple and, eventually, husband and wife.
It all started over two and a half years ago (2009) when my friend, J, was getting off a train in Seoul. Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar, there is this "ritual" in Korea that guys do called "hunting." Much like a hunter searches for a prize buck to take down, so does a Korean guy search for a his prized girl. J was very much hunting this day as he stepped off the train and noticed my other friend, E. For months they saw each other. J was trying his hardest to woo E, but to no avail as E had come to regard him as a 동생 (dongseng) -- a younger brother. What was J to do? Then it came to him: he would get her tickets to her favorite television program, You Hee-Yeol's Sketchbook. For clarity: You Hee-Yeol's Sketchbook is a kind of Korean variety show where some of the biggest K-Pop sensations perform as well as a kind of talk-show element. It's broadcasted nationally and gets millions of viewers (I'm led to believe). As it is so popular, however, tickets are near impossible to get. So, to secure a pair, J sent in the story of him and E. He told the show how hard he was working to impress E and how, if able to secure tickets to the show, would propose to her (this isn't the NA idea of proposing marriage; however, the proposal to be boyfriend and girlfriend, which is very important in Korea). The show replied saying that they were welcome on the show, but he would still have to pick up the tickets in person. So off J went at 5am to wait in line to get his tickets for that night show. Tired and stressed, E met J when the doors opened and they went in. Part way through the show, the host starts reading a letter from a fan of the show, it was J's letter. Shortly after reading, the host phones a number, it was to J's cellphone. The lights dimmed and J stood up, "여보세요?" As the spotlight panned over to him, the attention of a nation was on him. The lights in the studio came back on and the host proceeded to ask J questions about the story they just heard. Then came the time, a microphone was handed to E and the host ushered J to do what he had come there to do -- declare his love. Silence fell and the host asked for a response from E. As she spoke, the disappointment fell all over J as he heard that dreaded word once again . . . 동생 (dongseng) -- younger brother. The host, taken aback by the response, defaulted to the suspected question: "J, what will you do now?" And then something that many men in J's position would not have done, he declared his determination to win E over. I can't remember the exact idiom that he gave, as it was in Korean, but it went something along the lines of this:
Even if I have chopped down ten trees, there is still a whole forest out there
The story ends afterwards at a restaurant after the show. Sleep deprived, frustrated to the max, and filled with anger, J lets all his emotion pour out on E who finally realizes how far this man has pushed himself for her, relents. Fast forward two years and they are now happily married.
So, friends, I share this story with you to fill you with hope, for if you are like me and have a hard time understanding of what falling in love entails, remember this. It is by no means easy and despite all the work you put into it, you may not get anywhere. But if you find someone truly special, things will work out.
Ps. I've tried to find the episode of the show online, but haven't been able to. Sorry TT.
