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Haven't written one of these in awhile and to be honest, I've been juggling around what I'd be talking about, unsure of how I was going to fit everything in or make it streamed perfectly. It's going to revolve around the usual antics: a combined and oudated retelling of my days (shortened to around one day), some pretentious need to express my love and longing of the city air in Autumn (now Winter) and probably something in-between of indecisive thinking and existential connecting of aspects I've yet to conceive in my head
All within the mentality of an over-ambitious University student!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8NN4fpdm40
This needs no description. Watch for the emotions, the pace and feel of the song and just enjoy.
The last time I wrote a blog, it was about a silly chair. I was in the midst of my classes, a bit backwards in my mind with the amount of things I wanted to accomplish, to finish off and to get rid of. I looked out my window and saw unsureness in my future and to be honest, there is still that mist of indecision: what am I going to do for a career, a secure job? I feel like people are gardens, throughout our lives, we have weeds we want to get rid of and we try various methods, even going to the extreme such as pesticides; potentially harming our best harvest. A little bit of social sunlight, some knowledgeable water and we grow, expand, etc.
I've begun seeing an analyst. For no reason in particular and for all the reasons that I am. The issue I've always found myself in was that I recognize and know my patterns of thinking, I know how I would react in a situation or poorly respond in another and I suppose the main reason I saw an analyst was because I wanted to know if what I was doing was right, correct, suited for each and any occasion. I'm about two months in and I only learned one thing: there is no right way of thinking, not one that is entirely true and able to avoid all obstacles that come your way: internally or socially. There hasn't been much my analyst has done and in a sense I feel he becomes just another tiny audience member I lament to about the biggest and smallest problems I can rummage up. I'm not physically or mentally weighed down by the issues of my life, but I felt an analyst would have been something interesting to try (again) without there being an imperative need to repair or fix something. Of course we listed some goals we would like to achieve, but nothing concrete or set in stone. Wait and see is my method; fairness and moderation are my field goal posts.
With school nearly finishing, the final suns of Autumn coming to a near, I come to realize what I hate most about Montreal and the surrounding towns: how dead and dreary it looks.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/XZ2eb.jpg)
I believe that Le Rive Richelieu (someone will correct me for sure). I pass it every time I go to the dentist. It's both a beautiful fleeting sight to see when on the bus and a saddening one as you notice the gradual takeover of one season from another. The image is early August and outside you can already feel the cool wind, cold and spiked with dark solitude of the oldest winter. I don't fear it, but dread when Winter comes.
Whenever winter comes, the streets become dirty, ruined with leftover vanilla icing. The trees are bare and dead and all the local shops look barren, old and ready to give out their last breath.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xihryj8KRyw&feature=youtu.be
Aloe Blacc shows that all renditions of classics need to be similar to the original
Nonetheless, I had to focus on my up and coming dentist appointment. I was scheduled to have the left side of my mouth repaired, a root canal and then my right side (about 12 cavities in total). However, luck was on my side: turns out the root canal I needed just missed my nerve and so a simple filling was only needed and the right side of my mouth did not need as much repair as originally intended. This is twice and that the newest dentist has tried to do more work on my teeth than originally intended (not too mention that when he does it, it hurts a lot more than when the more experienced guy does it. I prefer him a lot more). They get a lot of my money and insurance, so I believe I'm going to start making demands about who the hell touches my mouth because I don't think I can stand for this shit anymore.
With an anesthetic numb smile and hurry to get home, I power-walked to the bus stop. I was both tired, anxious and relieved of how much dental work I dodged. I made a vow to try a lot harder in maintaining my teeth and I've already quit eating sweets, quit soft drinks and reduced my juice drinking to a much lower level (I used to do drink about 980ml to 1L of juice a day). A friend of mine told me about this trick to quit soft drinks: drink Ginger Ale for a month. Is this true? Does Ginger Ale really deter you from wanting soda? The reason I drank so much soda is because I've become dependent on it similar to coffee for many. I'd feel re-energized when I drank it, it'd help me go to sleep and it'd wake me up in the morning: the fizzy cold taste of Coke in my mouth was a joy and still is.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/ch0Hm.jpg)
Upon getting on the bus, bowing my head down dodging glances as I felt the illusioned bloatness of my mouth embarrass me. Lifting my head, I noticed pearled teeths gleaming back at me and a familiar face.
Fuck. Really?
Catherine St-Jean. A girl I had a small physical crush on. Concisely describing her, she was 5'10, though her heels love to lie. She had sleek spaghetti blond hair, straightened to perfection and curtaining her generic brown eyes, peeking nose and pale peach lips. Yes, she had quite the bust the many times my adolescent self could sneak a peak and her "trunk" would make parallel parking a difficult task for new drivers. We weren't close friends, more like sleepover partners on the busride as I've found myself constantly falling asleep on her shoulder (the reason she'd sit with me was because 1. I always had a seat available next to me and 2. she didn't know anyone else on the bus). She was amongst the popular students back in the day and who could blame her? She was terrible and flimsy at gym, intelligent, enjoyed both the outgoing socialistic engagements a mature-bodied female would like, yet also cherished the sentimental times such as a good movie, dinner and talking. She was lovely, but I only grew physically attracted to her as my french was still atrocious (Quebec/I was attending french high-schools) and I couldn't express myself as clearly or intelligently as I wished. To this day, I still wish to meet some of my old classmates so I can talk to them to the potential I knew I had, but was restrained by the language barriers.
Before I could pretend she wasn't there, shying away from my own impulsive desire, she greeted me. I leaned over the empty seat ahead of me and smiled back: "Mon Dieu! Ca fait longtemps (My God, it's been awhile!)" She agreed and we went through the typical rundown of things: How have you been, what have you been up to, etc. We talked about our friends who passed away (my best friend Tonny passed away and her friend Ms. Gadbois passed away right after graduation). The tone dipped a sadful, but it became more pathetic after as I realized that I was slurring my words and looking even dumber than in high-school: I was still numb from the dentist operation. I apologized profusely, too many times in fact and tried to keep the conversation going. I hadn't showered that day (was in a rush) and so I was stabbing myself in my head wondering what good and bad luck in one day. She told me about she absolutely adored a movie I did my french oral on: Spirited Away (I won't shut up about it on TL). In fact, she somehow recalled that movie from my oral and decided to watch it (now she's in love with it). Ha, movies! That's something I can talk about and so we did: we talked about Ratatouille, mainstream movies we hate, yet enjoy the comforting feeling of knowing what comes next and of course; Woody Allen (I'm a huge, huge fan of his work). On the subject of movies, I started suggesting a ton for her, asked if I could get her number to just send her some and she happily agreed (Hell, how could she say no when we're stuck on the bus lol).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_hdmt4vpBo
I just like this song
Just when you thought I couldn't have an even more endearing desire to spend time with her, she tells me she plays video-games and is doing programming as her major (something I never expected from her). She's enjoying Skyrim and Call of Duty right now (swing and a miss) and I nearly gasped for air in excitement and pride! As we took the metro, we delved into music and such. I popped a few bad jokes, apologizing more about the numb mouth and how I had more in my mouth than a hooker on a good day. I said it in English because she said she was comfortable understanding it (they all claim that...) and her response was: "Haha, it's too early to start with the dirty talk". Well... what the fuck does that mean? Did my joke just fly over like a pigeon and she misinterprets it as being a sexual approach or did she get it and played along? I didn't press for more and so we parted ways. I went for the side-arm "you take care" method of good-bye, I felt like I should of pecked her on the cheek out of courtesy (I didn't shower, so it maybe it would have been discourteous).
Unsure and confused, I walked home, unsure if I was victorious or a failure. I got her number, but she told me before-hand she doesn't reply to texts much and she is on Facebook a lot. I'm not going to commit to that social networking site just for her (or for any real reason), but I do want to see movies with her and teach her how to cook, etc. (she asked me to help her yadda yadda yadda). Now I wonder if I should of actually paid attention to all those romantic sitcoms I wasted my nights on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFWGOKuFyjk
The ultimate romantic-comedy
Does anyone agree with the theory above? It sounds a bit far-fetched, an absolute statement that revolves around the idea that there will always be a sexual and physical attraction between male and female friends. Rationally, there is more likelihood of a chance two opposing genders do not have a one-sided or two-sided sexual attraction for one another, but in my entire personal experience; I've always had a sexual attraction, no matter how little, for my female friends. Whether I'd go through with it is probably unlikely due to the circumstance that I wouldn't be comfortable with them specifically.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/HHbPc.jpg) Believe it or not, she doesn't come to me for sex, but for scratches
As the night grew stronger, I considered one last stroll around Montreal before the snow took over (oddly enough, it still hasn't come) and no matter how much the night air pricked my nose with frigidness, this city still looked great at night.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/aLdlY.jpg) A typical downtown street in Montreal, looks superb!
Even the underground had an appeal of colors and warmth.
This city, regardless of its seasoned or weathered health, just looks good. Of course, you've only been seeing the downtown area which isn't even 1/8 of the city's different shades and life, culture and diversity. But even looking outside now where I see a busy highway that leads into the city, I can't help but enjoy every part of this city, it is kind of like a smaller New York, it sacrifices a lot that New York City has to offer, but in return, a lot of the negative aspects of New York are toned down and something else that I've yet to discover prospers and divulges into the many areas and lives of this city.
Hum... I don't want to sound too redundant, so I'll stop there.
To conclude, if you're tired of Montreal. Have you tried Paris?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atLg2wQQxvU
This is a more recent film of Woody Allen and although it is a lot less in-depth in terms of interpretation, it is a lot more fun and enjoyable. It's storyline is simple and the moral as well, but you can't help but adore Wilson's neurotic imitation of Woody Allen's typical character, coupled with the gorgeous Rachel McAdams playing out of her typecasted self (she usually is the character you love, adore and find very attractive, but in this one...) and you get to see the beauty of Paris and the beauty of another time.
This film is something else, don't walk in thinking it's laugh out loud nor come out thinking there is a deeper meaning to the film. It is both rewarding to visually see and mentally understand as the story unfolds and the characters develop very simplistically, but attractively well and it may approach your own thoughts on the past, what we miss and what we don't realize we take for granted.
I'll leave it at that, from this film, I learned that the past had its rewards and beauties. I do wish I could go back to a time I thought was better, but I only realize now that its because of today and its future that I can be able to review and resee some of the things that still remain a trophy of my past and memories.
*(why yes, I did write 2,500 words about nothing important rofl)
 
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why yes, I read all those 2500 words about nothing important, all while playing the first song (I´m a fast reader), enjoyed it very much and want to use this opportunity to congratulate you for your taste in movies (Woody is just great, pretty much always, although some of the older stuff may be a bit on the strange side  )
Hope everything turns out well over there in Montreal 
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1) I think it was a good thing you didn't give her a peck on the cheek, given your mouth was still numb (I'm assuming)--what if you had a lil' bit of drool on your lip? HORRIFYING!
2) I have a best friend since primary school that I still talk to almost everyday. We went all the way through University together and we're both married to different people. She's very attractive and there has never been any tension--but we kind of think of each other like siblings. So--I think you can have opposite-sex friends. At least is the case for me.
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On December 20 2011 06:44 Espelz wrote:why yes, I read all those 2500 words about nothing important, all while playing the first song (I´m a fast reader), enjoyed it very much and want to use this opportunity to congratulate you for your taste in movies (Woody is just great, pretty much always, although some of the older stuff may be a bit on the strange side ) Hope everything turns out well over there in Montreal
yaaaaaaaaaaaaay Woody Allen!
Yeah, I'm a huge fan of his, some may be tired of his redundant character: always swimming around being a writer of sorts, neurotic and unsure. Even a bit skeptical or paranoid about social interests of others, but I love it. Since Manhatten, I've always felt that character reinvents itself despite being easily recognizable in every movie.
Thank you!
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how did you get things (pictures/youtube) to center like that?
and I like long-style well-written blogs better than anything, I just never have anything good to add
I've always liked woody allen movies but havent seen that one yet. The downtown in mo-real(that's how we said it in french >.>) looks a lot better than any downtown in toronto, as far as I've been. The snow still hasn't come where I live, and it's actually warm...and it's december 19th...
Haven't written one of these in awhile and to be honest, I've been juggling around what I'd be talking about, unsure of how I was going to fit everything in or make it streamed perfectly.
looks like you did just that! 2500 words is a good amount anyhow. strangely i dont find it too long, and certainly not too short.
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Aah Torte I missed your blogs. 5/5 as always.
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On December 20 2011 06:46 DueSs wrote:1) I think it was a good thing you didn't give her a peck on the cheek, given your mouth was still numb (I'm assuming)--what if you had a lil' bit of drool on your lip? HORRIFYING! 2) I have a best friend since primary school that I still talk to almost everyday. We went all the way through University together and we're both married to different people. She's very attractive and there has never been any tension--but we kind of think of each other like siblings. So--I think you can have opposite-sex friends. At least is the case for me.
1. Haha, you're right, I totally didn't consider that. It just felt awkward not to though, this happened to me twice with someone I was studying or helping study with and instead we high-fived in the snowy trails of Montreal. Felt awkward too even though I just met her the same day.
2. Ah, lucky. I've never had a friend for that long. There was never a point in time where you had considered anything beyond friendship?
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canada is so much prettier than the US, i need to move back =[
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Torte back to the proposting scene after a 6 week hiatus?
HYPE HYPE HYPE.
Did you speak french to her on the bus? With your mouth numb? Impressive, good sir.
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On December 20 2011 06:47 Roe wrote:how did you get things (pictures/youtube) to center like that? and I like long-style well-written blogs better than anything, I just never have anything good to add I've always liked woody allen movies but havent seen that one yet. The downtown in mo-real(that's how we said it in french >.>) looks a lot better than any downtown in toronto, as far as I've been. The snow still hasn't come where I live, and it's actually warm...and it's december 19th... Show nested quote +Haven't written one of these in awhile and to be honest, I've been juggling around what I'd be talking about, unsure of how I was going to fit everything in or make it streamed perfectly. looks like you did just that! 2500 words is a good amount anyhow. strangely i dont find it too long, and certainly not too short.
[center][/center]
No problem, I get a lot of this and I enjoy the compliment nonetheless! I wasn't really expecting much comments at all considering what would anyone have to say really?
But thank you :3
I added images to lessen the load and deter the idea of overly-winded down text :B!
On December 20 2011 06:52 Crais wrote:
Aah Torte I missed your blogs. 5/5 as always.
Cheers! I've been wanting to write a blog for awhile, just never got around to it!
On December 20 2011 06:54 Endymion wrote:
canada is so much prettier than the US, i need to move back =[
There is some beauty in America on the coasts and in the New England areas, at least from my experience.
This is Quebec (not up North). It's not as pretty as it seems believe it or not. When it starts snowing here, I'll try and grab some shots at how ugly and dirty the place gets. It really makes me discouraged ):
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On December 20 2011 07:02 Torte de Lini wrote:Show nested quote +On December 20 2011 06:47 Roe wrote:how did you get things (pictures/youtube) to center like that? and I like long-style well-written blogs better than anything, I just never have anything good to add I've always liked woody allen movies but havent seen that one yet. The downtown in mo-real(that's how we said it in french >.>) looks a lot better than any downtown in toronto, as far as I've been. The snow still hasn't come where I live, and it's actually warm...and it's december 19th... Haven't written one of these in awhile and to be honest, I've been juggling around what I'd be talking about, unsure of how I was going to fit everything in or make it streamed perfectly. looks like you did just that! 2500 words is a good amount anyhow. strangely i dont find it too long, and certainly not too short. [center][/center] No problem, I get a lot of this and I enjoy the compliment nonetheless! I wasn't really expecting much comments at all considering what would anyone have to say really? But thank you :3 I added images to lessen the load and deter the idea of overly-winded down text :B! Show nested quote +On December 20 2011 06:52 Crais wrote:
Aah Torte I missed your blogs. 5/5 as always. Cheers! I've been wanting to write a blog for awhile, just never got around to it!
hehe yeah I usually use youtube videos for that. adds a certain "flow" to things
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On December 20 2011 06:59 Juliette wrote:
Torte back to the proposting scene after a 6 week hiatus?
HYPE HYPE HYPE.
Did you speak french to her on the bus? With your mouth numb? Impressive, good sir.
Unfortunately, I haven't hit any level of proposting :B
Yeah, I did. Because I didn't know what her level of English was. She said she went to San Francisco, so I assumed she does/did well, but at the same time, she was too embarassed to speak it for me (despite humiliating myself with a poor accent for years in High-school).
Some say I have a slight lisp in English, so my french is even worse because after awhile, my mouth becomes very tired D:
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On December 20 2011 07:03 Roe wrote:Show nested quote +On December 20 2011 07:02 Torte de Lini wrote:On December 20 2011 06:47 Roe wrote:how did you get things (pictures/youtube) to center like that? and I like long-style well-written blogs better than anything, I just never have anything good to add I've always liked woody allen movies but havent seen that one yet. The downtown in mo-real(that's how we said it in french >.>) looks a lot better than any downtown in toronto, as far as I've been. The snow still hasn't come where I live, and it's actually warm...and it's december 19th... Haven't written one of these in awhile and to be honest, I've been juggling around what I'd be talking about, unsure of how I was going to fit everything in or make it streamed perfectly. looks like you did just that! 2500 words is a good amount anyhow. strangely i dont find it too long, and certainly not too short. [center][/center] No problem, I get a lot of this and I enjoy the compliment nonetheless! I wasn't really expecting much comments at all considering what would anyone have to say really? But thank you :3 I added images to lessen the load and deter the idea of overly-winded down text :B! On December 20 2011 06:52 Crais wrote:
Aah Torte I missed your blogs. 5/5 as always. Cheers! I've been wanting to write a blog for awhile, just never got around to it! hehe yeah I usually use youtube videos for that. adds a certain "flow" to things
Yeah it does. Plus, I get to dump a bunch of songs I like ;D!
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This is so charming.
Thanks for the blog OP
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I agree on the "Midnight in Paris" part. I don't see the old Woody Allen anymore that I knew from Manhattan and Annie Hall, his films nowadays are lighter on the eyes and on the mind. To me, it started with Vicky Cristina Barcelona (or maybe already with Match Point) that his films, despite still being highly enjoyable and having a unique style, lost the Allen feeling. Although, more accurately, one should say his films merely age and change along with himself - which in itself is quite a beautiful show.
Like your writing, Torte.
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This is what I understood from the reading :
a) you don't have a lot of self-confidence
b) like a lot of "literary" (because I guess you are literary) you don't really know what to do next
c) the girl know's you have a "crush" on her but it's not reciprocal or she thinks that it's moving too quick
d) you want to move from Montreal but you're convincing yourself of the contrary by looking at all the positive side of that beautiful city
I might be wrong ^^
Really like the picture of the cat and the litle "Steelseries" logo =D
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On December 20 2011 08:25 Spekulatius wrote:
I agree on the "Midnight in Paris" part. I don't see the old Woody Allen anymore that I knew from Manhattan and Annie Hall, his films nowadays are lighter on the eyes and on the mind. To me, it started with Vicky Cristina Barcelona (or maybe already with Match Point) that his films, despite still being highly enjoyable and having a unique style, lost the Allen feeling. Although, more accurately, one should say his films merely age and change along with himself - which in itself is quite a beautiful show.
Like your writing, Torte.
I think it started with Scoop to be honest. That movie was great, but not exactly his "style". Vicky Cristina Barcelona was also interesting and had more narration than any other film I've noticed. It was just odd and yet, totally comfortable, almost like you were on vacation or hearing a bedtime story. Even the ending was just... sound.
Agreed! Love that last line!
Thank you!
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On December 20 2011 08:32 LunaSea wrote:
This is what I understood from the reading :
a) you don't have a lot of self-confidence
b) like a lot of "literary" (because I guess you are literary) you don't really know what to do next
c) the girl know's you have a "crush" on her but it's not reciprocal or she thinks that it's moving too quick
d) you want to move from Montreal but you're convincing yourself of the contrary by looking at all the positive side of that beautiful city
I might be wrong ^^
Really like the picture of the cat and the litle "Steelseries" logo =D
No, I have plenty of self-confidence (see previous blogs), but in some areas I don't because I'm inexperienced or it is outside my comfort zone.
B. What do you mean literary?
C. I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship with her, but I do want to spend time with her as a person. I enjoy good company :3!
D. I live in Montreal :B! I love this city very much (see previous blogs). The country outside and its towns sometimes make me think of the province outside of its great city which is a great reflection of its true self. Quebec is still, in a sense, separated from Canada, but maybe that's just my limited experience within Canada.
No worries :D Thanks for reading~
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Welcome back, it's been a while 
Was I the only one that thought FBI when I read you were seeing an analyst? Nice blog mate, really simple flow and easy to read. Have you got any ideas for post graduation? I know you were concerned about it, it would be nice to know if you are feeling a little more comfortable.
Good luck with the lady friend. Hold on to the positive stuff- She remembers you.
- She wants to talk with you
- She didn't run away despite your slobbery gob
- Next time you won't have just finished being abused by a mouth obsessed maniac (sorry, dentists give me the creeps)
- You're awesome, you can't lose
Have a great Chrissie, and I look forward to the next blog about your next succesful catch-up. 
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Kept me smiling while I waited for both my cheeseburgers and my Kings of Tin: It's a Rotterdam Christmas Charlie Brown! to start.
♥
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/v2dC5.jpg)
