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Yeah, that's right. Probably even you, reading this right now. Fuck me. I'm not writing this for anyone smart to read it, I'm writing this because I'm pissed at everyone for how completely retarded I am. So here goes.
First, a little background. I know I said I wasn't writing this for anybody smart, but if you're going to read it, I might as well give you the facts.
I'm a rank 1 bronze player. Don't give me shit about it. Don't say "Oh ho ho, this fuckin' guy thinks he's so bad, RANK ONE BRONZE EH? I got that heavenly knowledge from iNcontroL already, but I need it from you so I can actually understand it. (To be fair, though, he asked me what rank I was, and I answered rank 1 because I thought that's what he meant. I didn't know I was bronze. It was in a 4v4 I played when he was streaming during thanksgiving break. Not hating on him either, I was sleepy and off-racing at the time. If you're reading this iNcontroL, I <3 you and your smarts.) I tell you what rank I am because low bronze and high bronze is a lot different. Trust me.
Somehow I am a senior in high school. Don't give me shit about that either. Don't say "Oh ho ho, this fuckin' guy thinks he's so dumb, he's a SENIOR, this guy must not have life figured out." Fuck those people. I hate it when I mention my discontent about something that is legitimately awesome and some dumbass "adult" says "Why don't you move out then while you don't know anything." Fuck you for eternity, jackass.
I swear a lot. People say that swearing is a "weak" mind (whatever that is) lacking the words to express themselves intelligently or some garbage like that. It's a truckload of smart shit. I think I'm really smart. I hesitate to say i'm a genius, partly because i still don't know my IQ, partly because i can't capitalize these "i"'s, and partly because I know there's always someone who's going to be smarter than me. But i'm really smart. I got a 1930 on my most recent SAT. I only know one other person at my school who got a higher score, and she did better on the writing, but without writing, I beat her by a mile because life doesn't require writing. I got a 1350 without writing shit. But I'm not bragging, I'm simply saying that so that you know I swear because i enjoy it, not because my vocabulary is weak, and who cares that I went off topic and am about to write a gigantic paragraph that will make your eyes hurt.
That's it about me. Now about everyone else. As you may have read in the title, everyone is smarter than me. I'm sick of people. They are shitty, oftentimes just to be shitty. I've been in classes before where I'll give an answer and everyone including the teacher will tell me i'm wrong. But I don't think I am. For example, when the teacher says the world is round I argue that it is an oval. This is kind of a setup for my big rant, I hate school and the smarter people in it.
Don't say "You should drop out ololol". Escpecially don't say "You should drop out trolololol" I hate fucking hipster faggots that use the word troll to apply to everything. I hate smart people in esports who use the word troll when trolling is obviously not happening. If a microphone shits out, the mic is not "trolling you". Fuck off. But I digress. The school I go to is shitty. We have about seven janitors and the campus is pretty small, yet there is garbage fucking EVERYWHERE. The janitors drive around in golf carts all day not accomplishing any educational shit. Like, what the fuck. I hate it when I take a class and I'm not smart enough to realize what my smart teacher actually taught. Like I'm legitimately thinking that i'm more intelligent than the person that teaches the class. I mean, I don't even know what the fucking word "NO" means. This year I decided not to take any hard science classes, because I hate science, it is full of fucking smart people. So my smart guidance councilor told me to take Earth Space Science, because he said that shit was "easy as your mother". Yes, my guidance councilor is a baller. So I took the class. What I didn't know is that when he said easy, he actually meant AP coloring and arts and crafts. Like, fucking instead of doing experiments, we make posters about experiments. Instead of her lecturing at any length, she reads off a shitty powerpoint she downloaded off the internet or shows a video. She teaches things I still don't comprehend. Before thanksgiving break, she had us watch the hit scientific docu-drama "The Day After Tomorrow". No lie. And she gave us questions, which asked us about how these events would play out in real-life. But I hadn't learned anything about it. I'm a fucking moron. And to make it even worse, no other people complain about how hard the class is. It's fucking easy to everyone else. I don't ever do anything that takes me more than five minutes, and I make a B in the class because the teacher understands that have problems. I mean, I hate how "honors" doesn't even mean anything any more because all it does is make me feel dumber. I may have taken the class because it was easy, but I still expected to LEARN in it without TRYING. But apparently gaining knowledge without working for it is an unreasonable expectation from life.
Honestly, I could go on, but I'll leave it at that for now. If you enjoyed reading this(and didn't mock me), i'll be posting more rants in the future, and if you didn't enjoy reading this, I didn't write it for your enjoyment, so fuck off brainiacs.
 
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Literally laughed out loud. Good one
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Russian Federation3632 Posts
As a satisfied spectator, I will say:
Thank you for your support of eSports.
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Hyrule19257 Posts
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Seeker
Where dat snitch at?37117 Posts
Blah, nvm. You are a genius
Btw, I agree with this guy:
On December 02 2011 06:21 Whole wrote:
you should link the original at the end in case people don't get it.
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I fell over in my chair laughing. I don't know whether to sue you or congratulate you, but I will give you a 5/5.
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you should link the original at the end in case people don't get it.
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Ha i started laughing out loud in the middle of class. 5/5
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On December 02 2011 06:20 Seeker wrote:
I'm very sorry that you are so pissed. I'm also sorry that you feel this way.
But dude...... u can rant without putting so much hate and discomfort into your posts -_-;;
You're going on this all out attack against people who you probably would end up liking if you would just end up getting to know them better....
I know this section is for blogs and you're free to write whatever u want, but maybe tone it down a bit u know? It's okay to express your emotions but maybe not like this? :/
That OP is trolling another blog from 1 hour ago and just turned every 'stupid' into 'smart' pretty much.
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This was time well spent :D
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On December 02 2011 06:21 Whole wrote:
you should link the original at the end in case people don't get it.
No! bad!
OT: 5/5/ <3
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I can't help but feel i've seen something very similar not so long ago 
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Roffles
Pitcairn19291 Posts
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The school I go to is shitty. We have about seven janitors and the campus is pretty small, yet there is garbage fucking EVERYWHERE. The janitors drive around in golf carts all day not accomplishing shit. Like, what the fuck.
Them damn janitors!!
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5/5, well played sir  !
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I echo the calls asking for a link to the original for those who didn't catch the other blog. That said, this was a very special bit of creative humor. Very clever. Well done!
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well played sir.
worth some pro poster points for sure
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United States4796 Posts
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9935 Posts
i didnt even read the original and i thought this was fantastic. but maybe if i go back and read the original i won't like this. so i won't! for me, this is the original.
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Not sure if serious, but 10/5. Made me laugh.
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I was so confused reading this... went through several steps:
1) just started reading. Thought it was someone with a genuinely bad self confidence, and I was already starting to formulate a reply to cheer you up.
2) After a few paragraphs. Started noticing that things didnt really fit together, and saw some very insulting part. Started to think it was all ironic, and wanted to say that everyone else were stupid. (which was not so far fro mteh truth...)
3) Finished OP. No point at the end supporting that it was indeed irony. Just an even amount of very inconistent statements of other people being smart (while doing stupid things), and the OP being better than others... At this point I think it is an attempt at a joke, but that I missed the context, like some very specific cultural thing, some reference to a TV show character that i dont know about or something like that.
4) reading the first few comments that are very amused. Somewhat reinforcing the theory in 3), but surprised surprised at the lack of replies as confused as I felt.
5) read the replies mentioning an other blog. Aha, pieces fit together.
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On December 02 2011 06:11 3FFA wrote:
Honestly, I could go on, but I'll leave it at that for now. If you enjoyed reading this, i'll be posting more rants in the future, and if you didn't enjoy reading this, I didn't write it for your enjoyment, so fuck off brainiacs.
Tsundere?
But pretty amusing to read, thanks 
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Seriously...At least Golbat spends time to write his thoughts out. You just took it and change a few things here and there and people thought it was funny? Not my kind of humor I guess 
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On December 02 2011 07:49 Jindo wrote:Seriously...At least Golbat spends time to write his thoughts out. You just took it and change a few things here and there and people thought it was funny? Not my kind of humor I guess
Glad there's at least 2 of us. I thought Golbat's thing was really stupid too but changing like 6 words to their opposites isnt doing it for me either. T_T
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Haha well played, suddenly that part about "I think I'm really smart. I hesitate to say i'm a genius, partly because i still don't know my IQ" makes perfect sense.
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The other forums may say, you're stupid drop out.
Not here.
Keep up the laughs (in the blog forum)
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Hands down best blog of the month!
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Reading this before I read the original blog confused me for a while
wp wp
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On December 02 2011 07:57 Bibbit wrote:Show nested quote +On December 02 2011 07:49 Jindo wrote:Seriously...At least Golbat spends time to write his thoughts out. You just took it and change a few things here and there and people thought it was funny? Not my kind of humor I guess Glad there's at least 2 of us. I thought Golbat's thing was really stupid too but changing like 6 words to their opposites isnt doing it for me either. T_T
TL has gone down the drain if mocking some angry teenager gets the staff applause instead of both blogs closed.
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Edited and changed more of the OP. Also, if you payed attention in the original changes I did I made like 20 sentences changed.
edit: Also, not linking to the original post because I want more funny responses =P
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Dammit, why are there only 5 stars?
Well played.
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ALLEYCAT BLUES51500 Posts
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San Francisco Chronicle- "Brilliant....extremely funny."
Chicago Sun-Times- "Unpredictably hilarious... The writing is vivid, raw, and mordantly knowing."
The Seattle Times- "Truly unique. He writes at the edge of crazy, and you can feel his desperate urge to get at the truth of things."
The Guardian (London)- "So funny that your facial muscles soon tire."
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I am SO excited to see Goldbats response. I'm EEKing in excitement.
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bumping this again so he can see . Also, my tribute came before Chairman Ray's tribute. (Just saying )
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On December 02 2011 13:15 3FFA wrote:bumping this again so he can see . Also, my tribute came before Chairman Ray's tribute. (Just saying )
He seen it, mentioned it before he mentioned Ray's so the universe is in harmony.
Like the guy that made a "tribute" to my post, not even twelve hours old at the time. What a supreme doucher.
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On December 02 2011 13:21 Bibbit wrote:Show nested quote +On December 02 2011 13:15 3FFA wrote:bumping this again so he can see . Also, my tribute came before Chairman Ray's tribute. (Just saying ) He seen it, mentioned it before he mentioned Ray's so the universe is in harmony. Show nested quote + Like the guy that made a "tribute" to my post, not even twelve hours old at the time. What a supreme doucher.
Yeah but then he said:
On December 02 2011 12:50 Golbat wrote:Show nested quote +On December 02 2011 12:37 MjoLniRXx wrote:
^ I think we fixed him? Yes, I think we did a very good job *celebratory high five to all of teamliquid.net* Yes, you "fixed" me. You and all of teamliquid deserve medals make of chocolate chip cookies because you did exactly what I wanted you to do. There's no way I could possibly have know how average a 1930 is on the SAT, or that complaining about classes I planned to underachieve in is a stupid thing to do. You all are number one forever. This is why I love this website. P.S. I retract my statement about Chairman Ray being a doucher, because I laughed my ass off when I read his poem.
he called Ray a doucher =/
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On December 02 2011 13:30 3FFA wrote:Show nested quote +On December 02 2011 13:21 Bibbit wrote:On December 02 2011 13:15 3FFA wrote:bumping this again so he can see . Also, my tribute came before Chairman Ray's tribute. (Just saying ) He seen it, mentioned it before he mentioned Ray's so the universe is in harmony. Like the guy that made a "tribute" to my post, not even twelve hours old at the time. What a supreme doucher. Yeah but then he said: Show nested quote +On December 02 2011 12:50 Golbat wrote:On December 02 2011 12:37 MjoLniRXx wrote:
^ I think we fixed him? Yes, I think we did a very good job *celebratory high five to all of teamliquid.net* Yes, you "fixed" me. You and all of teamliquid deserve medals make of chocolate chip cookies because you did exactly what I wanted you to do. There's no way I could possibly have know how average a 1930 is on the SAT, or that complaining about classes I planned to underachieve in is a stupid thing to do. You all are number one forever. This is why I love this website. P.S. I retract my statement about Chairman Ray being a doucher, because I laughed my ass off when I read his poem. he called Ray a doucher =/
Hm ye you're probably right. ^_^
I had interpreted it as him calling you both douchers and then retracting it for Ray but not you. Yours makes more sense though since he said "not even 12 hours" and yours was only like 1 hour. : )
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I don't get it =/. I didn't laugh, and I don't know what this is based on.
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Fucking brilliant. Well played sir!
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lmao it must suck to make really retarded posts on tl and not realize it
all the ridicule this guy is getting proves how inconducive teamliquid is to dumb people trying to express themselves
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On December 02 2011 18:21 xsksc wrote:
Fucking brilliant. Well played sir!
Thank you *bows* =P
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I don't think he wants to read my blog....
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I gave you 4 stars more than the other guy
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On December 03 2011 05:27 scDeluX wrote:
I gave you 4 stars more than the other guy
lol thanks xD.
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LOL nice one. I still can't tell if the other blog is satire or not. God I hope it is.....
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I almost choked and died on my gum. 5/5
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On December 03 2011 05:51 EsX_Raptor wrote:
I almost choked and died on my gum. 5/5
Lol thanks. But please, don't die! I like you
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EPT
