Recently it has come to my attention that I have no goals in life. It seems like everyone except me has goals and would like to become a progamer doctor or the next astronaut president. I realized that I don't have any goals of any kind. I thought I had a goal of becoming amazingly fit and attractive, but I realized that I would rather eat whatever I want instead of being sexy. I thought I would write a list of all my goals and then hopefully find the motivation to go do them. If you're confused, the term "bucket list" comes from (I assume) "kicking the bucket" which means dying. So a bucket list would be a list of things you want to do before you die.
To start off, here's a boring and uninteresting list of my interests, complete with short descriptions. I wrote this to give an idea of the things I'm interested in and my hobbies.
This isn't my biggest interest, but sex and drugs are interesting so I thought I would start here to make you think this will be interesting later. I don't really know anything about growing or different strains or shit like that. I don't have a HYDROPONIC COOP MANNNN. I enjoy relaxing on the couch and laughing about dumb shit, so it's a perfect hobby for me. It also enhances my other interests, such as eating and sex.
I mostly enjoy eating, but I do cook lots of things that don't require trickery or micro or me having any kind of talent. I'm probably bronze level at cooking but I can follow simple directions. I don't think I've ever cooked anything that was inedible, so maybe that speaks in my favor. No food porn srrie. :C
I'm not the most adventurous person or the kinkiest. I'd like to think I have a fairly normal range of sexual interests. I do enjoy doing what I would call "sexually harassing" people, where I say/do increasingly sexual things to someone until they freak out or go someplace quiet with me. I'm trying not to be specific or graphic here.
I almost thought about not including this, but I will include it for the sake of completion. I feel a bit like a jesus freak when I talk about meditation, so let's just assume you don't give a fuck and go to the next topic. If you really are interested, you can probably find some resources on google.
This is my interest that takes up most of my time. I was playing Cave Story+ (offtopic: don't buy this btw, there aren't any exciting new features. donate money to pixel or something instead) when I became "inspired" to write this blog. I generally like "classic era" games, Super NES for example, and I like to consider myself a foremost expert on the subject. You can pretend that last sentence was a joke and read it in a funny voice if you want.
That's the entire list. All I do is play games, smoke weed, and fuck bitches. That is literally my entire life.
also, this is exactly why people like Cave Story:
Part 2: The Interesting Part
At the moment I feel a bit bored with all that. I thought I would like to have some goals or exciting things I could do, or plan to do. It isn't in any particular order.
#1 Actually Make a Computer Game
I've made games all my life. As a child I used to make all kinds of different games with crayons and different types of paper and a stapler obviously. My family sometimes humored me, but they usually didn't want to play my games more than once. As an adult my motor coordination is somewhat better, but I still make games no one will ever play. Having a computer game that people around the world would play is my dream.
The closest I've ever came to programming a game is using triggers in the BW editor. My drawing skills are also close to 3rd grade level. I'm also not rich enough to hire people to do things for me and I have no business skills. But someday... YOU WILL ALL LOVE ME SOMEDAY *tear*
#2 Visit Rel in the Swamp
Rel has been one of my friends since I was a kid playing Diablo Shareware on my brothers 56k modem. However, we are internet friends, so we've never actually met. Now that I'm older than 14 and have a disposable income, I would like to travel to LISSIANANENEANNA and visit him. Louisiana has an interesting and unique culture with things such as Mardi Gras and DE CAYOOOON and ETUTUFUETETETE. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, that's fine.) I would like to go to Louisiana to meet swamp people, eat crawfish, and give girls beads so that they will be compelled to show me their boobies. Also I hear there are witches and I like witches. Have I mentioned that I'm an amateur exorcist?
#3 Put it in Riku's butt
I'm sure all of you know who I'm talking about. She is my princess of the forums. She is a vision of loveliness, dressed in various costumes and enthralling me with her amazing body. Will you have my babies, Riku? If I put it in your butt, maybe we can have a future lawyer or doctor together.
#4 Have a Pet Bear
Bears are the coolest animals, period. Growing up in rural Maine, I encountered many black bears. Some bears actually used to sleep in the tree in front of my house. Bears are excellent dancers, if you weren't aware. I would like my pet bear to dance with house guests. Bears are also highly intelligent animals. There's a story I remember from a discovery channel show or whatever about a traveling saint whose pack horse was eaten by a bear. The saint tamed the bear and made him carry his luggage to the next town. I'm not sure how you become a saint, but that sounds exactly like what I want to do. I hope my points have elucidated my position and have convinced you to the benefits of bears.
#5 Watch Proleague in Korea and Sex Korean Girls
This is probably every nerds dream right? Do I need to go into detail here? I would be visiting the center of ESPORTS. I want to see the drama and glory of the ESPORTS stage in person. I dream of saying "So... you're a model right?" to a pretty girl who doesn't speak a word of English. Also, ESPORTS.
#6 Build/Own My Own House
This goal is easily the least likely of them all. Since it is highly unlikely and I'm getting a bit tired of writing at the moment, I won't go into much detail here. I would like to design and build my own house. This goal is far out of my viable fiscal range. Since I can't hammer a nail straight, it's also out of my skill range as well.
this is what it would look like if i built a house
Part 3: "Only 6?"
Now that you've read my "interests" and my list, I'm entirely open to your suggestions of additions. If you would like to make my dreams come true, I would love your help. I would also love to hear your own lists (and maybe steal your ideas gwahahaha) because I'm sure there are other things I would like to do. This list was all I could come up with.
I hope you enjoyed reading.
p.s. your momma has an outie