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Most people (fusionsdf) think shopping is a chore or some big outing. They will walk around malls and streets for hours, aimlessly trying to find attire or accessories, with no real goal. Maybe they stop to get something to eat. Maybe they don't. In short, these people suck. You don't want to be one of these people.
To save you from yourself I have written this easy three-step guide to shopping.
STEP ONE:
![[image loading]](http://100bimbi.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/red-bull1.jpg)
Know where the fuck you want to go and what the fuck you want. None of this "I don't know what I want but I want some new shit," shit. On your way to the locale of your choosing chug a redbull. The metro is a good place for this. Chug it like a boss and give hard looks to the people around you.
STEP TWO:
![[image loading]](http://www.easywaystogogreen.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/lucky_brand_jeans1.gif)
Arrive at the store. Look at the products. You should be high strung and antsy to keep moving and get the hell out. This is good. Ideally you are also half starved and ready to eat everyone in the store. Like a crack addict looking for pennies scan the store and note sale signs and every goddamn item on the shelves. Snatch up the item you want. This part is key - most people will be like "oh, hum, hrm, uh, should I buy it?". If you want it you want it it's that fucking simple. Make sure that shit fits and goes with your other clothes.
STEP THREE:
![[image loading]](http://images.learningresources.com/images//products/en_us/detail/prod2690_dt.jpg)
Pay at the register and chat with person if person is cute. Get out and go do other important errands in the area. Spent less than 10 minutes in the store.
Don't listen to naysayers like fusionsdf, this method has been tested many times and every time has been judged 100% successful by 100% of shoppers. Follow this three-step guide and you will never have to worry about wasting a day shopping or buying the wrong thing ever again.
 
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United States24779 Posts
I tend to shop very purposefully so thumbs up.
Although as I get older I'm not as aggressively set on getting in and out really quickly like I used to be...
On October 25 2011 04:20 FinestHour wrote:
Who is fusionsdf?
TL user
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fusionsdf is a god among men like us.
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Canada5565 Posts
I agree with everything you said.
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Wait...why would you even go shopping if there's nothing you want?
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Kid has two slots for one dollar bills in his register, and has it set up lefty but is receiving payment/handing back change righty? Clearly this guide is not a quality source, though I am satisfied with the 100% success rating
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now I have a craving for redbull, curses to you !
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I never go "shopping" without extremely specific targets. If I get held up in front of something I didn't want originally, odds are it's really awesome.
I'll still go back home and make sure I actually want it.
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my momma's gonna get sad when i tell her she aint shopping for my undies or pijamas anymore
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O___________________________________O
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just wait until you start shopping to cook dinner meals and you'll realise that you zone out in the veggie isle for ages deciding what to actually cook and thinking what you've ate this week and how you should balance your diet.
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EPT
