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So, where can I begin...lately I've been noticing that the athmosphere in my house has gone to hell, there's something wrong going on with my stepdad and my mother that's making everything horrible. They won't talk to each other, my mother just ignores him for and acts in a very arrogant way towards him for no reason.
A couple of hours ago I asked my mom what was going on, she told me that "nobody, ever, screws around with me", I was left wanting to know more, I asked her again what was going on and she told me that she wasn't saying anything else. I don't think that my stepdad has done anything retarded to have made my mother so pissed, now I'm really, really but REALLY nervous. I fear that this might end up horribly in some way or another, my mother has an extremely strong character...so does my stepdad and I don't feel like being in the middle of a shitstorm, at all.
I would like to talk some sense into them, but I don't want to make things worse, the athmosphere is already shitty. I simply cannot find a way to aproach the subject, all I want is to help and absolutely HATE when this happens, it isn't the first time either and since we live in an apartment I can listen to everything they say...and sometimes the stuff they say isn't of a very good taste, at all, eventually, after like a week stuff returns to normal, but something tells me that this time is different, I can feel the "calm before the storm" and it's killing me.
Anyway...I can't seem to be able to think about anything else to say, I'm just nervous now, maybe I'm overthinking it, I just don't want anything bad to happen.
PS: Sorry about my english, also, I can't give many more details because in a way I'm absolutely clueless about what's happening, but I can tell you that it isn't nice.
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I'd say it's a 70% chance it's about money, 25% chance infidelity, 5% other
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On October 07 2011 05:14 bonifaceviii wrote:
I'd say it's a 70% chance it's about money, 25% chance infidelity, 5% other
I'm kind of thinking about the same, since my stepdad isn't the type of person that will cheat on somebody, but he's extremely touchy when it comes to money.
those are the only two reasons that come to my head now :/
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On October 07 2011 05:14 bonifaceviii wrote:
I'd say it's a 70% chance it's about money, 25% chance infidelity, 5% other
Id say you need to stop watching nancy grace. Why the fuck is this 75% money?!
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Most divorces occur due to the money. It's an off-hand remark, not anything concrete on my mind. Most relationships end due to money and thus so does the attraction to one another.
Why haven't you approached the stepdad?
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On October 07 2011 05:20 Torte de Lini wrote:
Most divorces occur due to the money. It's an off-hand remark, not anything concrete on my mind. Most relationships end due to money and thus so does the attraction to one another.
Why haven't you approached the stepdad?
I haven't had the time to talk to him in private, as soon as I find the time I will.
Also, I just talked with my mother about it, she's said that she's angry that he doesn't pay enough attention to her, instead he's talking with his friends, she beleives that he might be cheating on her.
To be honest, I think that she's overreacting a little. I have to talk to my stepdad asap to know his part of the story.
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I don't know, but I think you should let them resolve this themselves.
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On October 07 2011 05:27 Ko1tz wrote:Show nested quote +On October 07 2011 05:20 Torte de Lini wrote:
Most divorces occur due to the money. It's an off-hand remark, not anything concrete on my mind. Most relationships end due to money and thus so does the attraction to one another.
Why haven't you approached the stepdad? I haven't had the time to talk to him in private, as soon as I find the time I will. Also, I just talked with my mother about it, she's said that she's angry that he doesn't pay enough attention to her, instead he's talking with his friends, she beleives that he might be cheating on her. To be honest, I think that she's overreacting a little. I have to talk to my stepdad asap to know his part of the story.
Your parents are hella different than mine or my mother's husband...
An easy fix to be honest, how long have they been married?
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On October 07 2011 05:32 Torte de Lini wrote:Show nested quote +On October 07 2011 05:27 Ko1tz wrote:On October 07 2011 05:20 Torte de Lini wrote:
Most divorces occur due to the money. It's an off-hand remark, not anything concrete on my mind. Most relationships end due to money and thus so does the attraction to one another.
Why haven't you approached the stepdad? I haven't had the time to talk to him in private, as soon as I find the time I will. Also, I just talked with my mother about it, she's said that she's angry that he doesn't pay enough attention to her, instead he's talking with his friends, she beleives that he might be cheating on her. To be honest, I think that she's overreacting a little. I have to talk to my stepdad asap to know his part of the story. Your parents are hella different than mine or my mother's husband... An easy fix to be honest, how long have they been married?
For about 6 years.
The two have a really strong character, wich ends in having really intense arguments about the smallest things :/
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Yeah, that's not "normal", but it's in the realm of ordinary. At least from my experiences (best one was how they fought on how to cook rice).
Do they still do things together or is usually: work, food, watch t.v together, rest?
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On October 07 2011 05:31 Brainsurgeon wrote:
I don't know, but I think you should let them resolve this themselves.
I disagree... Often times when there is so much emotion involved, it's hard for either half to be reasonable, thus they could end up having more very short-sited argument leading to the deterioration of the relationship... It's not completely their fault, situations like this can come up when communication in a relationship isn't at it's best, and it's hard to develop communication... Thus somebody with an unbiased opinion could very well help the situation. At the same time, you have to be careful because you don't want them to misunderstand you... I'd say it might be very good for you to help one of them approach the other in a spirit of mildness, putting away abusive speech and screaming as far as they possibly can, so they can work it out... It's very difficult in these situations, but often a lack of communication in a marriage / relationship can turn into something like this...
I'd say tell one of them to only LISTEN to the other. Make sure he / she doesn't interrupt the other, make sure they are open to agreement and reasonable... after listening, one can address the problem in a mild, reasonable composure. If one is shutting down the other, it can turn into a disaster...
Ultimately, my point is to help guide them in a direction that will help them to communicate their problems to each other. And communication involves primarily LISTENING, then talking... That will help them in the future!
Of course, I'm not a part of the family, i don't know the situation, but I do know that mild, loving communication that involves primarily listening to the other is incredibly helpful to mend pain in a relationship
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On October 07 2011 05:18 supaplex wrote:Show nested quote +On October 07 2011 05:14 bonifaceviii wrote:
I'd say it's a 70% chance it's about money, 25% chance infidelity, 5% other Id say you need to stop watching nancy grace. Why the fuck is this 75% money?!
Because money is the source of all evil. (platitude, i know, but eh, it explains it).
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Me and my fiancee are like this but way worse. Yesterday she cried upon finding some old picture of me near another girl on facebook, from before we even met. Didnt talk for 4 hours.
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On October 07 2011 05:45 supaplex wrote:
Me and my fiancee are like this but way worse. Yesterday she cried upon finding some old picture of me near another girl on facebook, from before we even met. Didnt talk for 4 hours.
Sorry man, that's both funny and brutal. My God, jeez.
Hope everything turns out right for you.
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On October 07 2011 05:42 Torte de Lini wrote:
Yeah, that's not "normal", but it's in the realm of ordinary. At least from my experiences (best one was how they fought on how to cook rice).
Do they still do things together or is usually: work, food, watch t.v together, rest?
Lately it has been something like:
They both arrive from work > dinner > they watch tv together (but they're both in different parts of the living room) > sleep.
They won't talk to each other at all, the only thing they might say is some question regarding something about their days, but nothing else.
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On October 07 2011 05:43 thoraxe wrote:Show nested quote +On October 07 2011 05:18 supaplex wrote:On October 07 2011 05:14 bonifaceviii wrote:
I'd say it's a 70% chance it's about money, 25% chance infidelity, 5% other Id say you need to stop watching nancy grace. Why the fuck is this 75% money?! Because money is the source of all evil. (platitude, i know, but eh, it explains it).
Im just looking at myself and my parents and money would never be a reason for something like this. She can get upset only if i accused her of taking my money or something as ridiculos but that cant happen. If she takes it she sure had a reason. Not making enough money? I dont know how can there be any semblance of love and this in the family
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divorce isnt the end of the world
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On October 07 2011 05:52 Catch]22 wrote:
divorce isnt the end of the world
That's an incredibly insensitive comment, man ... He's looking for a solution. Do you think he hasn't already thought of a possible outcome of this whole situation? It's not fair to kick a man when he's down... I don't think that was a good way to bring up the subject.
also, see if one of them would be willing to apologize for something one of them said... That is not always easy. It takes humility to admit one’s mistakes. Yet, it can make all the difference in a marriage.. A sincere apology can remove a possible future cause for conflict and pave the way for real forgiveness and a solution to the problem.
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On October 07 2011 05:46 Torte de Lini wrote:Show nested quote +On October 07 2011 05:45 supaplex wrote:
Me and my fiancee are like this but way worse. Yesterday she cried upon finding some old picture of me near another girl on facebook, from before we even met. Didnt talk for 4 hours. Sorry man, that's both funny and brutal. My God, jeez. Hope everything turns out right for you.
It was hell for me at first but at the same time you realize how much someone loves you and doesnt want to share with anyone. Lets just say these kinds of situations gave me both worst and dearest of memories.
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On October 07 2011 05:54 CtrLZerG wrote:That's an incredibly insensitive comment, man ... He's looking for a solution. Do you think he hasn't already thought of a possible outcome of this whole situation? It's not fair to kick a man when he's down... I don't think that was a good way to bring up the subject.
It's alright, I kind agree with what he means. It's just that this isn't the first time it has happened, I already lived that when she divorced from my dad, I don't really want to have it happen again and the fact that you barely know what's going on can make you think that it's all your fault, even if it isn't.
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On October 07 2011 05:59 Ko1tz wrote:Show nested quote +On October 07 2011 05:54 CtrLZerG wrote:On October 07 2011 05:52 Catch]22 wrote:
divorce isnt the end of the world That's an incredibly insensitive comment, man ... He's looking for a solution. Do you think he hasn't already thought of a possible outcome of this whole situation? It's not fair to kick a man when he's down... I don't think that was a good way to bring up the subject. It's alright, I kind agree with what he means. It's just that this isn't the first time it has happened, I already lived that when she divorced from my dad, I don't really want to have it happen again and the fact that you barely know what's going on can make you think that it's all your fault, even if it isn't.
well i'm glad you didn't take it the wrong way. He was obviously trying to make you feel better in an extremely blunt sort of way...
Knowing from experience though, those types of comments can really hurt at times...
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I feel the same way man. Having divorced parents fucking sucks. I am glad I am moving out in 1.5 years. I really hope everything works out for you, you just gotta keep pressing on and know that this is the worst it gets, and it can only get better.
Stay safe, have a nice day.
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Seeker
Where dat snitch at?37071 Posts
If your mom truly said "nobody, ever, screws around with me," then in all fairness, I doubt it's a money problem.
But I don't know what else it can be so good luck to you. We're here for you man
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EPT
