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A lot of MARRIED couples don't even share their bank account. that is disastrous.
You probably love this woman alot, and trust her, but why do you guys have a joint account? How do you know what her intention is? I don't want to say this, but from just looking at your situation, you are just pouring money into her debt FOR her.
I think you should really talk to her about this, what her true intention, purpose is. If she is a knowledgeable, ETHICAL person, she would pay her own debt. She doesn't, and that really gives us the readers the impression that she's just using you.
Also, if you are 26 and she's 29 with a kid... what the heck are you doing at that age... I'd say go enjoy your life a bit more, because you definitely can, and there are always wonderful woman at your age or younger without kids..
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![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/nJH4G.jpg)
I thought this was pretty fucking hilarious
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But yeah, thanks again for all the replies, I'm going to separate our finances and see where that goes. It might alleviate some of the frustration I'm having. We will see, I'll let you know how it goes.
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On September 08 2011 00:48 TadH wrote:
But yeah, thanks again for all the replies, I'm going to separate our finances and see where that goes. It might alleviate some of the frustration I'm having. We will see, I'll let you know how it goes.
Sounds like a solid choice. If she loves you as much as you love her she will understand. Good Luck!
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On September 08 2011 00:33 pred470r wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2011 00:26 Chill wrote:
I think relationships need honesty. If you feel a situation is shitty, you're not benefitting anyone by holding that back.
Until you're married, you shouldn't be assuming her debt. It just doesn't make sense and it's not fair. Just tell her that frankly. She might be a little offended when you bring it up, but it should be pretty easy to accept if you're firm and caring when you say it. How does one pretend to be caring when he says he's not gonna help you out anymore?
Anyone who is able to think clearly will identify that this is not a personal offense or anything like that. Sure he cares but he also has to care about himself.
On September 08 2011 00:48 TadH wrote:
But yeah, thanks again for all the replies, I'm going to separate our finances and see where that goes. It might alleviate some of the frustration I'm having. We will see, I'll let you know how it goes.
Good!
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Calgary26004 Posts
On September 08 2011 00:33 pred470r wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2011 00:26 Chill wrote:
I think relationships need honesty. If you feel a situation is shitty, you're not benefitting anyone by holding that back.
Until you're married, you shouldn't be assuming her debt. It just doesn't make sense and it's not fair. Just tell her that frankly. She might be a little offended when you bring it up, but it should be pretty easy to accept if you're firm and caring when you say it. How does one pretend to be caring when he says he's not gonna help you out anymore?
What? It's not pretending at all. Tell her you love her, you want to be together, but you're not ready to bear her financial debt as you didn't cause it and you aren't yet married. That's genuine and likely the truth.
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If her ex is not paying child support, go to court to get an order of withholding. Basically it just takes money out of his paycheck before he gets it, same as with taxes.
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On September 08 2011 01:21 RedJustice wrote:
If her ex is not paying child support, go to court to get an order of withholding. Basically it just takes money out of his paycheck before he gets it, same as with taxes.
Seems like common sense really.
OP, when you describe the situation it makes me think the girl is using you for money and the reason she doesn't collect child support is so she can get back with the other guy.
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On September 08 2011 02:01 Hidden_MotiveS wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2011 01:21 RedJustice wrote:
If her ex is not paying child support, go to court to get an order of withholding. Basically it just takes money out of his paycheck before he gets it, same as with taxes. Seems like common sense really. OP, when you describe the situation it makes me think the girl is using you for money and the reason she doesn't collect child support is so she can get back with the other guy.
Talk about a hidden motive.
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On September 08 2011 00:48 TadH wrote:
But yeah, thanks again for all the replies, I'm going to separate our finances and see where that goes. It might alleviate some of the frustration I'm having. We will see, I'll let you know how it goes.
I support your decision, hope everything goes smoothly.
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On September 07 2011 23:48 Zazzles wrote:
Do you really love her ??? Do you want to spend rest of your life with her??
No he doesn't. Not someone who married once, has a kid, and wants her bf to pay HER debt.
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Calgary26004 Posts
I think the way people talk in absolutes, especially about someone else's relationship, is insane.
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On September 08 2011 03:00 Chill wrote:
I think the way people talk in absolutes, especially about someone else's relationship, is insane.
I like to think that people who do talk that way, are unlikely to be in a relationship, or at the very least aren't in a very good one. Too many people are getting lazy with relationships, I think, and they've kind of adapted this "all or nothing" attitude. Whatever happened to trying to make things work out, compromises, so on and so forth?
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Calgary26004 Posts
I see it a lot on online forums. "My wife slightly annoyed me"
"Fucking leave that bitch. How dare she?"
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On September 08 2011 03:29 Chill wrote:
I see it a lot on online forums.
In the words of a rather famous comedian.
There's your sign.
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EPT
