EPTParent rage blog pt 11 (Responsibility) &uni - Page 2
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Froadac
United States6733 Posts
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askTeivospy
1525 Posts
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Froadac
United States6733 Posts
She would say I"m trying to set her up and refuse. But she'll look at this and get mad anyways >.> Her argument to me is that I lied in the past (3-4 years ago, true) and am generically irresponsible. | ||
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RedJustice
United States1004 Posts
My mom and dad were emotionally and verbally abusive. They disallowed seeing friends, having access to a computer or TV ever, controlled what books I could read, what school activities I could be part of once I was allowed to go to school, etc. <<< Brief summary, but it was pretty nasty shit basically. When it came near to college, I was like you in a lot of ways. My parents really wanted me to go to a particular school other than the one I got into and wanted, and they disagreed with my career choice (they don't think women should have careers). I made a very hard decision, which was that I was an adult, and I was not going to be happy letting other people live my life for me. I went to the school I wanted to go to. This was really scary, because my family stopped talking to me, and I had zero financial support. It was also the best decision I have ever made. I am happier than I have ever been, even though I am often stressed the fuck out by my full class load and multiple jobs. While you're at home, your parents really do have an extraordinary amount of control to abuse. Once you turn 18, you are free to leave-- and you are the only person who can hold you back. If you're not afraid to be on your own, you will do fine. Apply to the colleges you want to go to and study what you want to study. If your parents don't want to support that, screw them. They aren't the ones who will be living the rest of your life, it's you. Don't give in and do something you hate. Don't worry either about how you will respond to all that freedom. I got to college, and suddenly I had an 100% change in freedom. I don't go to parties because I don't like them. I don't do drugs or smoke, because I think it's gross. I do my homework on time, and study hard for my classes, because it's my only opportunity to have this kind of education (can't blow my scholarship). I hang out with friends in the evening, but go to bed in time to get up for class. I do a good job at work, and have been promoted for a second time. Unless you KNOW you want to go out and party hard and get wasted every evening and not go to classes, there's really no reason at all to think you will. You will probably get there, experiment a little, and continue being the reasonably responsible person you are. If you know you have no idea how to do laundry, can't cook toast to save your life, don't know how to show up on time to an entry level job or class, then those are things you should probably worry about. Otherwise, you will do just fine. As for your essays-- it's generally not good to write about how terrible your family is unless you were removed from your home by the state for it. Focus on any other problems you may have had. Also remember that not every essay needs to be about overcoming obstacles. Good essays can also be about experiences that changed you as a person-- volunteering, having a child, or death of a close loved one are the staples of this type of essay. Good essays can also be about your dreams and what inspired them, but they should be written in such a way to show the college that your dreams are best fulfilled at their college, and align with that school's goals. This type of essay should also subtly plug yourself for the things you are good at. Good luck dood. Stick it out, and as soon as you are able to leave, start running and don't look back.  | ||
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Froadac
United States6733 Posts
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Dead9
United States4725 Posts
Also if you're doing a few extracurriculars (MUN, etc), you get pretty good grades, and you have a pretty good SAT score you'll be fine applying for college. Don't worry about it too much; obviously it's great if you can head off to Stanford or something, but as long as you go to a decent enough school (and your parents don't hate you for it lol) and get good grades there you'll be fine. Organization: I used to have a problem where I would have way too much stuff and it was hard to sort through everything, but then I realized I could just throw everything away and all my problems were solved lol. I got a large black trash bag, dug through my room, and anything I hadn't used in a while I just threw away. School stuff: I got through school with a backpack, pens/pencils, a notebook for each class, textbooks, and the internet. Some class-specific stuff like calculators, but generally notebook + pens/pencils was enough for me. Parents: It sucks and all but I think the best plan is to just man up and take it. One more year and you'll be out of the house and into college, and you definitely don't want to set off on the wrong foot if your parents are footing the bill. You can try talking to her about it, but super asian parents tend to have a completely different mindset, so it'd probably be kind of hard to reason with her. If you can, try to pick up a hobby like reading, writing, dancing, drawing or something that you can do somewhere your mom can't bother you. If you get along well with your brother and the age difference isn't huge you can hang out with him too. Also, if you can learn how to cook (well) you'll be a mini-celebrity in college haha. Car: Unless not having a car really gets in your way I'd just ignore it; it's way more convenient to just bum rides all the time anyway lol. | ||
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Froadac
United States6733 Posts
My mom wouldn't let me go to the library to read some >.> I do read a lot. I write blogs  What type of notebook are you talking about? | ||
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Dead9
United States4725 Posts
I used to use a binder and a ton of looseleaf paper, but I hate that loud clicking noise lol | ||
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Froadac
United States6733 Posts
WHat do you use to store papers? | ||
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hp.Shell
United States2527 Posts
You need to get a job. Doesn't matter what it is, just get one. In this way you can be financially independent from your parents and if you want something, you get it, you don't have to let them walk all over you about it anymore. The primary reason why you have to suck up to your parents for everything is because you are dependent on your parents for your survival and your lifestyle. For a major, do what YOU want. Don't listen to your parents or your friends. Figure out what interests YOU. If you end up in engineering, and you suddenly realize after two years that it's really not your piece of cake, then what? Will you change your major to economics or decide you want to stick it out and get the engineering degree for financial security at a job you'll probably hate? And if you decide to stick it out, will you make it? It's time to start living YOUR life, not the life they wish they had lived. Your parents seem to be a bit obsessed with your success, in that they don't want to see you working as a cashier for the rest of your life. Which is understandable, but like many parents in that generation, they have really no idea what your life is like and therefore they have no idea what the best way is to get you to do the right thing. Your mom seems like she is afraid of losing you. Are you her youngest child? If you want your driver's license, go get it. You have to be 16. Nowhere does it say that you have to have your mom drive you there. If you have your license your parents might let you take their car once in a while if they're worried about buying you one. If you're still procrastinating, stop. I can't tell you how much I wish I had stopped procrastinating in high school. It helps to have your shit together. That way you can find stuff and if some girl is interested in you, you can manage your time easier. Just keep that in mind dude. Also I suggest watching Rocky if you haven't seen it yet, changed my life. Also you could watch this video about how Rocky was made if you want. + Show Spoiler + http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJvPD2u3YBI Also if you want a shorter version, you could watch this instead of the four by Sly. And maybe you should get in a fight with your parents. I haven't really had any major fights where I stuck up for myself for an extended period of time, but the next time my mom or dad tells me to do something with my life that I don't agree with, I'm not doing it. I just wish I had started earlier. It might be easier to become independent by having a fight, even if you don't want to do that. You DO want to be independent, right? | ||
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
Don't go crazy with it though or you'll get addicted to games like I did. Get far away. Just think about that. 8 hours by car is enough. Fill your time with clubs, activities, and volunteering. Do all you can to get the fuck away from the bitch. Engineering is hard work 70 hours a week, but I'd rather take the week than be home for one day. | ||
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Blisse
Canada3710 Posts
Use a clipboard and looseleaf paper. I've been using it for a couple years and it saves you having to take out your binder everytime. Store papers in binders. The best thing to do is rewrite your notes in a notebook and keep the originals in the binders. Hobbies are the best way to pass time, so find one that won't make her angry or crazy. Find a middle ground like playing the violin (asian parents love the violin and piano). Writing, painting, and drawing are looked down upon as useless since you can't live on those careers usually. Reading is a good hobby, and learning about your background and language helps you as well. Tough it out for one year since she's the one that's going to pay for your freedom. Try not to talk back and actually do what she wants (do the dishes, help with laundry) before she asks. I'd stay away from showing my parents why I think they're bad parents. | ||
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Froadac
United States6733 Posts
Zing. | ||
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Dead9
United States4725 Posts
On August 22 2011 12:39 Froadac wrote: Lol. WHat do you use to store papers? I just stick them into the notebook, get kinda clumpy after a while but then I just throw all the useless sheets away lol | ||
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Deleted User 3420
24492 Posts
Parents aren't perfect and some are kind of terrible but she didn't mess you up too bad by how you sound, lol. | ||
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Froadac
United States6733 Posts
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