EPTPart One: The Wake Up Process
In this example, I'll assume you have to wake up at 6am.
Alarm 1: 5:45
Alarm 2: 5:50
Alarm 3: 5:55
Alarm 4: 6:00
If you still need more help waking up:
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Hide the 3rd Alarm under your bed, and the 4th alarm where you need to go, such as the shower.
Advanced Tactics:
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Have a glass of orange juice waiting at the location your third alarm, or have alarm one take you to the coffee pot.
Part Two: Time Efficiency
Under this example, lets have the 4th alarm be assumed to be in your bathroom, on top of a towel, clearly invoking you to take a shower. You should have your toothbrush ready to brush, and you should of pooped/shaved the day before(make it a habit), so only peeing is necessary. Thus, you go into the shower, peeing and brushing your teeth. Due to the fact that you are brushing your teeth, you will feel obligated to make the shower go faster, because no one likes to brush their teeth for extended periods. This saves large amounts of time.
Advanced Time Efficiency(Must have a decent APM irl for this one)
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Problem with the guide?! + Show Spoiler +
As White-Ra would say, Special Tactics:
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There are a few problems accompanying this guide. However, they can all be solved.
Problem One: You brush your teeth before you eat!
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Problem Two: While showering, only one hand is free because of teeth brushing.
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Problem Three: I can only take fast showers if the water is cold!
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Problem Four: I don't have more than one alarm!
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Problem One: You brush your teeth before you eat!
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Have Alarm Two have a glass of orange juice, and Alarm Three have a meal ready. I prefer to put Alarm Three(in breakfast form) inside of a drawer with smelling salts on top of it, to guarantee I eat.
Problem Two: While showering, only one hand is free because of teeth brushing.
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I, a fellow man, have learned to shower with only a bar of soap. Dove Soap. It can be used on your entire body, and the ladies who cuddle with me tell me I smell good.
Problem Three: I can only take fast showers if the water is cold!
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Find a brick, tape it to the shower wall so that you can't turn it hot. No, I'm not joking.
Problem Four: I don't have more than one alarm!
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You have to put your alarm in a ridiculously hard to turn off place. Or, a place that you'll feel bad it's there.
Good places include:
1. Inside of a birds cage.
2. Behind a sea of squeaky toys.
3. In your babies crib(yeah, I'm cruel, so is forcing me to wake up)
4. In a place where your neighbors will here it and complain.
Good places include:
1. Inside of a birds cage.
2. Behind a sea of squeaky toys.
3. In your babies crib(yeah, I'm cruel, so is forcing me to wake up)
4. In a place where your neighbors will here it and complain.
As White-Ra would say, Special Tactics:
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Drying yourself off after a shower takes so much time! This can be rectified by having an unplugged power strip connected to many fans that turn on when powered. When you go into the shower, you just plug in the power strip before hand! Once you get it out, it is useful to have a remarkably absorbent towel and a deodorant ready.
IF, and only IF, you fucked up yourself pretty bad last night and you don't think you'll be able to go through the day productively, EmergenC! This miracle product should be in your cupboard at all times should the situation come up.
Setting your alarms to songs you enjoy very much will (hopefully) have the effect of you not wanting to turn them off.
If you have two pillows, and you often throw one on the floor, put an alarm in the one you throw on the floor.
If you are a neat freak, a good trick is to take a photo out of your picture albums and put it at one of your alarms. You aren't just going to leave it there, are you? This trick works with card collectors also.
If you are married, telling your wife that she has permission to cheat on you for the day if you don't call her before your last alarm is sure to knock you awake.
IF, and only IF, you fucked up yourself pretty bad last night and you don't think you'll be able to go through the day productively, EmergenC! This miracle product should be in your cupboard at all times should the situation come up.
Setting your alarms to songs you enjoy very much will (hopefully) have the effect of you not wanting to turn them off.
If you have two pillows, and you often throw one on the floor, put an alarm in the one you throw on the floor.
If you are a neat freak, a good trick is to take a photo out of your picture albums and put it at one of your alarms. You aren't just going to leave it there, are you? This trick works with card collectors also.
If you are married, telling your wife that she has permission to cheat on you for the day if you don't call her before your last alarm is sure to knock you awake.
How This Guide Was Made:
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I suck at waking up in the morning. However, once I get into the swing of things, I'm fine. These ridiculous antics provide me with some entertainment in the dreary life that is work/school.
