rel the unknown wizard

rel

Guam3521 Posts

July 28 2011 06:28 GMT

"I am rel, what do you wish of me."

I guess being registered since 04, and having been snooping around here since the dawn of Jesus...
I never properly introduced myself, and thusly things have been changing pace like the universe it very self.

I am currently 726 919 247 seconds old, and was raised in Southern Louisiana, born near the Indian bayou. I am a swamp creature.

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My parents whom I will refer to as J and P. Were 2nd gen hippies, respectively born in 1964. My dad was an avid fan of The Grateful Dead and other artists at the time. I was born and raised in an eye of nudeness. Never knew certain things were bad or wrong but was allowed to learn them for myself in accordance to what such a palpable world reflected. There was never any intervening. Running threw the swamps as a young padawan was such an adventure. I would fight giant Cottonmouths with sticks no bigger than my 6 year old noodle arms, not to ever be aware of what "dangers" would occur with such modern notions. The next day I could be balancing on a water beam 15-20 feet over alligator infested waters. The closest thing I could imagine to compare such atmosphere too would have to be the movie Jumanji. Spiders, Giant rats...

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Nutra... I have had my fair share of entanglements with these beasts. They patrol the levee's of fields as knights patrol their castle walls. They terrorize during the night and shit and piss on themselves in the day. Demons.

My first encounter with computers was early. My father was an IT in the 80's setting up networks at many various campus throughout the south. My first memory was on an Apple II. By 4 I was on a computer capable of running windows and I had mastered such games as Commander Keen, and Wolfenstein 3D with unparalleled skill.

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I suppose my first ecounter with a RTS was with Warcraft II. Playing games over Kali client. I was 8 years old and it was the best thing since Eureka's Castle.

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Had a pretty depressing childhood. I had no sibling and was a pretty bad person as a kid. Doing things to torment other people nonstop as some sort of escape from the confounds of society. My mother got sick, and soon after was scheduled to have surgery. I was 8 years old. They surgery went fucking terrible, the assholes botched the whole operation. The mission was to take out only 10% of the thyroid gland. They took out all 100% of the thyroid and apparently in addition thought it was a smart idea to take out 100% of her parathyroid. Going to let you guys do some pretty rough research to figure out how shitty that is.

Well coinciding with such bad news, Satan himself walked into our lives through easy open doors. And Thusly planted himself for quite awhile. My dad is no dumby, and with such a powerful mind in a vulnerable position bad juju occurred. He learned how to make high quality methamphetamine from at home with bare necessities. We ALL ways had people over or were over at other peoples places. Bodies always every where, half zombied or full zombied. I knew i would have to do something to somehow improve such conditions. I used this time to not only play StarCraft, but learn about as much as possible. It was as if there was a click in my dumb little brain that was like you NEED to use the computer and internet as a tool. I was always either looking stuff up downloading books, or playing SC.

I had dropped out of a pretty shitty high school in the 9th grade, because they weren't giving me fare grades, it was an all black school... and I'm White. It seemed fucking pointless. I quickly tried to find a job. My first job was at 16 trying to work at a produce packaging plant. I had to forge my parents signatures. This job didn't last too long, as I was keen that it wouldn't anyway being my first job. Afterwards I pretty much had the same routine for the rest of that year. The following year my parents split. I was pretty much on the streets living with various friends if you could call them that. I ended up moving in with my Aunt and Uncle, working with my Uncle doing upholstery repair. Ripping chairs up and shit. I enjoyed it actually was an invaluable asset, as it would be the first time I would ever actually use tools or even know what the fuck a crescent is. For some strange reason, one day. I had an idea to join the Navy. Which is weird because to be honest I don't even remember If I knew what the fuck the Navy was. So I end up going and talking to the recruiter...

The same day I leave to go talk about joining. I get a call while I'm fucking there, saying that my uncle got in a wreck and totaled the van and lost his leg...

He's the sweet shit. I ALWAYS rode with him to work, EVERY morning. When I got home I went check out the van and the passenger seating area no longer existed. There was an even more incredible internal pull, moving me further towards the Navy...

(to be continued)
Navy Life
2 years after Navy Life *currently*)

While you improve the virtue of patience, I'll provide you with some Kyuss, Jenna Marbles, and a picture of rel casting magic out of his instrument of sensational rhythms.

For some reason the best thing in life for me is a few good people, a few good mood boosting items, and a chill place to converge and absorb the vibrations of totality.

Build log cabins not robots.

Emporio

United States3069 Posts

July 28 2011 06:29 GMT

You look like a hippie version of Destiny.

Mayor

United States472 Posts

July 28 2011 06:45 GMT

On July 28 2011 15:29 Emporio wrote:
You look like a hippie version of Destiny.

Oh my God, I don't know why but I laughed so hard at this, cannot unsee.

On a more related note, I really enjoyed the blog, good job with it, 5/5. It was an interesting read, I never really find blogs like this on here.