Below you will find the titular ballad, a tale of the hitherto unsung heroism so many hellions display, yet with no reward. I say no longer. Sing it if you please. You may enjoy it.
---
When zerg are comin' high'n'low
it's best to roll on wheels four.
Let this old man tell it true,
I have a story set aside for you.
You never done heard o' hellion Joe,
And you never done heard o' the zerglin's four.
But now I'll sing this tale all,
Start to end to start again,
You'll know his rise and then his fall,
That hellion joe from way back when.
He rode his speeder fast and proud,
He played his music high and loud,
All day he rode, all night he slept,
And when the flames cleared nothin ever was left.
One day the zerg rolled into town,
All savage screech and acid spit.
Said hellion Joe, "just burn 'em down"
And rolling in he did admit
He loved those zerglings roasted black,
Barbacued so nice and fat,
He always said he liked a snack
Whenever he drove though the old outback.
Now there he was on spreading creep,
Zerg on all sides and he was really in deep,
Then came a queen all roar and fire:
A claw did strike and so burst a tire.
Hellion Joe swerved into a turn
And grinning made that zerg queen burn
And passing by he took her head
And smiling on, this he said:
"I'm hellion Joe and I got fire,
I got blazing steel and a ready pyre,
Don't come my way cause I'm smokin hot,
I'm a one man flame and that's not all I got."
So he said and kept on burnin',
But the day was long and the zerg kept churnin'
Then all of a sudden an ultralisk sped
And rammed Joe hard and we all thought he was dead,
And out of the fire and rubble and ash
Came hellion Joe with an almighty crash,
Behind him the zerg with foam in their maws,
They had banelin's too with centrifugal claws.
O hellion Joe, just what'll you do,
Those awful zerg are huntin' for you.
Said hellion joe, "I'll burn 'em to hell
And if I go with 'em it'll be just as well."
No sooner he spoke the sky turned to fire,
Above us now floated the warships of Aiur,
Turnin' the town into sulphur and smoke,
And the zerg all mad still killin' our folk.
Just then the ground shook, tossing houses away,
And hellion Joe was thrown off his way,
Landing all awkward, the speeder dead,
And leaving his seat, this is what Joe said:
"I'm hellion Joe and I got fire,
I got blazing steel and a ready pyre,
Just gimme some wheels and i'll cook up a roast,
All you critters here are as good as toast."
Just then the zerg came and protoss behind 'em
And hellion Joe, he thought up to ride 'em
So he pulled up that head torn from the queen
And grittin' his teeth tore into her spleen.
All of a sudden the zerglin's did stop
and faithful as puppies they started to hop.
"Just get under that speeder, you evil old dogs."
And with quick work wire they were as tight knit as cogs.
Now hellion Joe rode his speeder again
With zerglings for wheels, if that enters your ken.
He jumped over walls, rolled over debris,
And screaming revenge he cursed all he could see.
Into the waste he sped forth not followed,
For the protoss were done, the zerg hive hollowed,
But hellion Joe, he was angry as hell,
And what he did, well,
There's still that story to tell.
I have a story set aside for you.
You never done heard o' hellion Joe,
And you never done heard o' the zerglin's four.
But now I'll sing this tale all,
Start to end to start again,
You'll know his rise and then his fall,
That hellion joe from way back when.
He rode his speeder fast and proud,
He played his music high and loud,
All day he rode, all night he slept,
And when the flames cleared nothin ever was left.
One day the zerg rolled into town,
All savage screech and acid spit.
Said hellion Joe, "just burn 'em down"
And rolling in he did admit
He loved those zerglings roasted black,
Barbacued so nice and fat,
He always said he liked a snack
Whenever he drove though the old outback.
Now there he was on spreading creep,
Zerg on all sides and he was really in deep,
Then came a queen all roar and fire:
A claw did strike and so burst a tire.
Hellion Joe swerved into a turn
And grinning made that zerg queen burn
And passing by he took her head
And smiling on, this he said:
"I'm hellion Joe and I got fire,
I got blazing steel and a ready pyre,
Don't come my way cause I'm smokin hot,
I'm a one man flame and that's not all I got."
So he said and kept on burnin',
But the day was long and the zerg kept churnin'
Then all of a sudden an ultralisk sped
And rammed Joe hard and we all thought he was dead,
And out of the fire and rubble and ash
Came hellion Joe with an almighty crash,
Behind him the zerg with foam in their maws,
They had banelin's too with centrifugal claws.
O hellion Joe, just what'll you do,
Those awful zerg are huntin' for you.
Said hellion joe, "I'll burn 'em to hell
And if I go with 'em it'll be just as well."
No sooner he spoke the sky turned to fire,
Above us now floated the warships of Aiur,
Turnin' the town into sulphur and smoke,
And the zerg all mad still killin' our folk.
Just then the ground shook, tossing houses away,
And hellion Joe was thrown off his way,
Landing all awkward, the speeder dead,
And leaving his seat, this is what Joe said:
"I'm hellion Joe and I got fire,
I got blazing steel and a ready pyre,
Just gimme some wheels and i'll cook up a roast,
All you critters here are as good as toast."
Just then the zerg came and protoss behind 'em
And hellion Joe, he thought up to ride 'em
So he pulled up that head torn from the queen
And grittin' his teeth tore into her spleen.
All of a sudden the zerglin's did stop
and faithful as puppies they started to hop.
"Just get under that speeder, you evil old dogs."
And with quick work wire they were as tight knit as cogs.
Now hellion Joe rode his speeder again
With zerglings for wheels, if that enters your ken.
He jumped over walls, rolled over debris,
And screaming revenge he cursed all he could see.
Into the waste he sped forth not followed,
For the protoss were done, the zerg hive hollowed,
But hellion Joe, he was angry as hell,
And what he did, well,
There's still that story to tell.
---
More? Y/N?
Also, yes. The zerg queen's spleen is actually in her head. I