EPTI found out in the middle of the call that the guys name is Kevin so here we go.
Kevin: Sir, my name is Kevin and I am calling from the Windows service department.
Me: Hi.
Kevin: You recently did a Windows update and I have noticed that your computer is acting sluggish. [1]
Me: Yes, it's very slow when I use the internet.
Kevin: I can help you with that, what Anti Virus program do you use?
Me: I don't know, I don't know anything about my computer, I didn't set it up.
Kevin: Please go to the bottom right of Windows and list everything there.
Me: Oh it says Avira Anti Virus.
Kevin: Do you have the paid subscription?
Me: No, I don't think I'm spending money for it.
Kevin: That is the problem, please go to Start and click on Run. Next type in eventvwr.exe and click on the Application tab. Can you see any yellow triangles or red x's?
Me: Yes I see a lot. [2]
Kevin: Oh my, you will have to let me take control over your computer through Remote Desktop so I can fix it.
Me: Okay, how do I do this?
Kevin: Go to Google and type ammyy and hit enter.
Me: Okay, now what do I do?
Kevin: Click on the first link there to download the software.
Me: The browser just closed on me and I get this red x error with broken characters.
Kevin: Were you using Internet Explorer?
Me: I don't know, what's going on!? [3]
Kevin: Don't worry sir, I can help you, please hold while I transfer you to our senior supervisor.
Me: Okay, please help me fast!
So eventually he transferred me over to a senior supervisor Mick.
Mick: So what is the problem you are having?
Me: I opened Google and typed ammyy and hit enter and went to the site but my browser closed and I got this error with broken characters.
Mick: Have you tried it with a different browser?
Me: Aren't they all the same? I have Firefox and Explorer.
Mick: Please try it in the other one.
Me: I get the same error. I took a screenshot so I can so you.
Mick: Okay please upload it to imgur and link me to it.
Me: Okay it is http://i.imgur.com/1zhFM.png
Mick: *types the URL in* What is this ...
Me: TROLOLOLOLOLOL [4]
He then hangs up as I'm yelling into the phone and a minute later, as I'm writing this and I get a phone call from the same number 000-000-0000 and I put on my high pitched girl voice and pick up the phone.
Kevin: Hello this is Kevin, I was speaking to Mr. Jung earlier is he there?
Me: Hello? No, me no no who you talk about.
Kevin: I was talking to Mr. Jung about computer problems he had.
Me: No no, no computer here, me live alone with million cats and one Pokemon.
Kevin: Fuck off.
... and he hangs up the phone. This entire conversation lasted about 20 minutes and I had a BLAST!
As if my day couldn't get ANY better I get a call AGAIN from a private number this time. Turns out its a telemarketer trying to get me to transfer phone companies and I answer in Japanese and start yelling random shit into the phone and he hangs up as well.
[1] I finished a Windows update last night. Nice timing by these guys but they fucked with the wrong person lol
[2] All these Event Viewer errors are from the past so it's not an issue.
[3] I had the voice of a person who was in panic.
[4] I yelled this into the phone as loud as possible while making it understandable.
Authors Note:
They actually have a legit website where they tried to trick me into buying their shit product. Not only that, but he tried to Remote Desktop my computer ahahaha what an idiot. I can imagine people who aren't familiar with computers falling for this though because of the errors that you will see in the Event Viewer from time to time. I will try to record my next trolling attempt over the phone with my cellphone and I'll include it if I can but I forgot to do so this time around.
... and last but not least, the image I left for Kevin and Mick. Happy trolling everyone!
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/1zhFM.png)
