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There's a girl I like... She's a little bit taller than me super nice and really popular (and likes pink)...
I however am not. My best friend is my brother. :/ I dedicate my whole life to helping this girl who seems to be stolen from me by the same guy over and over. He's a complete bad ass. He wears studded belts all the time and is a rule breaker. I don't know if she likes him or if he just woes her with fancy tricks and bad-assedness
To deal with all the pain I do shrooms all day and kill turtles (I swear they're throwing hammers at me.) It's a rough life. I don't know if I should save her ass or give up, she's been on and off with this guy for a while. Years even.... It seems like every time I go help it just happens again in a different environment and the guy is a little beefier every time. It's just a crazy life.
I think it might be my wardrobe, I don't want to dress in a tee shirt and jeans everyday however I want to be ready for action/on the fly plumbing job so I usually wear overalls and a red hat with an "M" on it because I am a huge Miami Heat fan.
Anyways I don't know what I should do about the girl. Do I do shrooms until I feel invincible and beat the shit out of Billy Bad-Ass or do I QQ and let it fix itself just to happen again?
 
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you should QQ, if you haven't mustard up the curage in years, you should just quit now.
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If you find a bright orange plant on the ground, you should eat it. It'll make you all fiery and shit, bitches love fire.
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How do you feel about flowers?
Edit: this blog could have been a lot better if the replies were more witty.
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Kentor
United States5784 Posts
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Beat the crap out of him..check your closet for some different shaped shrooms that make you shoot shit.
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Smix
United States4549 Posts
Omg this blog hahahaha I thought it was real for the first bit
+ Show Spoiler +I like using the badass in mario kart
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I wasn't around during the 60's but the whole flower power thing is pretty cool so I find them enjoyable. Shifft I eat a lot of things I shouldn't and I'm still somehow magically alive.
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On June 25 2011 08:11 Smix wrote:
Omg this blog hahahaha I thought it was real for the first bit
Haha, he had me fooled for all of about 1 sentence.
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Also I love the people thinking this is serious. 
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Dude, shrooms are just not gunna cut it in a situation like this. Your going to need to move to some harder hallucinogens, I'm thinking dxm laced lsd should do the trick.
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I wonder if someone is making accounts to troll Chill.
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Papua New Guinea1058 Posts
Give her a turtle. Bitches love turtles.
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I thought it was real until the turtles part.
Then I thought how weird you are for hitting turtles.
Then it finally hit me.
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Laerties right now me and my friends are working on something we call "Star Power" it makes you feel like anything that touches you dies. It's some intense stuff.
I love Chill....
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Netherlands19129 Posts
5/5 xD. Made me crack a big wide smile  .
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On June 25 2011 08:12 Gnial wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2011 08:11 Smix wrote:
Omg this blog hahahaha I thought it was real for the first bit Haha, he had me fooled for all of about 1 sentence.
Had me until the turtles part xD
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Hey man, this is the "bad-ass dude" you were referring to. My man Koopa told me that you posted this rant on some nerd site so I figured I'd check it out, see what the common folk do from time to time. Anyways, listen up geek, I'm sick of you and your bullshit. Step off my girl. You dive through pipes all day, you're a plumber for fuck's sake. I have an evil empire that spans nations bro. King is too low of a word for my status. I got Prom Emperor by unanimous vote in every high school in the world. So guess what? My fly bitch don't want shit to do with you, we been trolling you for years. Don't you think it's fucked up how a tall, athletic, ROYAL woman can't seem to get "saved" from me, but a blue collar immigrant so weak that he gets beat up by FLOWERS and MUSHROOMS and CUTE LITTLE TURTLES can seemingly penetrate my defenses? Get real brah.
She don't give a fuck about you, I don't give a fuck about you, we just drug you up with trippy shrooms we leave around my EMPIRE and then watch you run around makin' a fuckin' fool of yourself. We've made millions off of video games based on this shit, we got hundreds of YouTube videos of you doing dumb shit and nerds raging out about it. It's all a big joke. Maybe I didn't throw enough "Mamma Mia!"s into this post to make sense to you, sorry 'bout that. Long story short, you ain't ever gettin' laid. Men get the pussy, weak-ass niggas get killed by turtles.
Also, fuck Luigi. Dude is even less popular than his chubby ugly little brother, LOL. Noobs.
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Blazinghand
United States25550 Posts
On June 25 2011 08:26 ILOVEKITTENS wrote:Hey man, this is the "bad-ass dude" you were referring to. My man Koopa told me that you posted this rant on some nerd site so I figured I'd check it out, see what the common folk do from time to time. Anyways, listen up geek, I'm sick of you and your bullshit. Step off my girl. You dive through pipes all day, you're a plumber for fuck's sake. I have an evil empire that spans nations bro. King is too low of a word for my status. I got Prom Emperor by unanimous vote in every high school in the world. So guess what? My fly bitch don't want shit to do with you, we been trolling you for years. Don't you think it's fucked up how a tall, athletic, ROYAL woman can't seem to get "saved" from me, but a blue collar immigrant so weak that he gets beat up by FLOWERS and MUSHROOMS and CUTE LITTLE TURTLES can seemingly penetrate my defenses? Get real brah. She don't give a fuck about you, I don't give a fuck about you, we just drug you up with trippy shrooms we leave around my EMPIRE and then watch you run around makin' a fuckin' fool of yourself. We've made millions off of video games based on this shit, we got hundreds of YouTube videos of you doing dumb shit and nerds raging out about it. It's all a big joke. Maybe I didn't throw enough "Mamma Mia!"s into this post to make sense to you, sorry 'bout that. Long story short, you ain't ever gettin' laid. Men get the pussy, weak-ass niggas get killed by turtles. Also, fuck Luigi. Dude is even less popular than his chubby ugly little brother, LOL. Noobs.
This thread was funny and witty until that post. The point of the whole Mario thing is the deception/joke that this seems like an average girl blog. This does not jive well with that and is pretty obvious/over the top.
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Unfortunately, I predict that when you finally do get past the badass after walking miles through a field of mushrooms, she will already have left.
+ Show Spoiler +the princess is in another castle
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i read until the part where it said "shrooms and killing turtles", and I thought to myself, "what a fucking retard". and then I kept reading and........fml.
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Blazinghand
United States25550 Posts
Still, I rate this 5 out of 5 Fire Flowers for an excellent blog post, and the best girl blog I've read in somet ime.
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On June 25 2011 08:21 Nyovne wrote:5/5 xD. Made me crack a big wide smile .
Hahahah! OMG. This blog is full of win.
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Get yourself some fancy studded belts and than whoop his ass and safe the princess. I think this belt might just add that little bit of badassyness you need:
![[image loading]](http://thirtyfourflavours.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/carrie27s-belt-preview.jpg)
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On June 25 2011 08:18 Ryalnos wrote:
I wonder if someone is making accounts to troll Chill.
Dude shhh its a secret ;o.
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On June 25 2011 08:28 Blazinghand wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2011 08:26 ILOVEKITTENS wrote:Hey man, this is the "bad-ass dude" you were referring to. My man Koopa told me that you posted this rant on some nerd site so I figured I'd check it out, see what the common folk do from time to time. Anyways, listen up geek, I'm sick of you and your bullshit. Step off my girl. You dive through pipes all day, you're a plumber for fuck's sake. I have an evil empire that spans nations bro. King is too low of a word for my status. I got Prom Emperor by unanimous vote in every high school in the world. So guess what? My fly bitch don't want shit to do with you, we been trolling you for years. Don't you think it's fucked up how a tall, athletic, ROYAL woman can't seem to get "saved" from me, but a blue collar immigrant so weak that he gets beat up by FLOWERS and MUSHROOMS and CUTE LITTLE TURTLES can seemingly penetrate my defenses? Get real brah. She don't give a fuck about you, I don't give a fuck about you, we just drug you up with trippy shrooms we leave around my EMPIRE and then watch you run around makin' a fuckin' fool of yourself. We've made millions off of video games based on this shit, we got hundreds of YouTube videos of you doing dumb shit and nerds raging out about it. It's all a big joke. Maybe I didn't throw enough "Mamma Mia!"s into this post to make sense to you, sorry 'bout that. Long story short, you ain't ever gettin' laid. Men get the pussy, weak-ass niggas get killed by turtles. Also, fuck Luigi. Dude is even less popular than his chubby ugly little brother, LOL. Noobs. This thread was funny and witty until that post. The point of the whole Mario thing is the deception/joke that this seems like an average girl blog. This does not jive well with that and is pretty obvious/over the top.
Nah only the OP was good, the replies sucked until that one
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i know from experience that its not worth you time man. no need to wait on someone....you might be missing something (or someone) whos even better if your whole life is based on one woman.
best advice I can give is jsut live for yourself and become the best person you can. it makes you less clingy, it makes you a better person, and if your a better person, people see that. they think, Man that guys awesome. and then girls see it, and a good one will come along.
(edit)
also listen to 99 problems by jz.
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On June 25 2011 09:32 Gprime wrote:
i know from experience that its not worth you time man. no need to wait on someone....you might be missing something (or someone) whos even better if your whole life is based on one woman.
best advice I can give is jsut live for yourself and become the best person you can. it makes you less clingy, it makes you a better person, and if your a better person, people see that. they think, Man that guys awesome. and then girls see it, and a good one will come along.
(edit)
also listen to 99 problems by jz.
Actually, I think that he should just ignore females and acquire coins.
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Ehh, trying too hard for me to even find it funny, nonetheless take it seriously. I feel bad for Chill. 
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On June 25 2011 09:49 Grobyc wrote:Ehh, trying too hard for me to even find it funny, nonetheless take it seriously. I feel bad for Chill.
I thought it was a good laugh.
Tip: Don't read the comments first before reading the OP.
I really took him seriously.. o.o
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Haha i thought it was real until the hammer thing. I was like wtf dude seriously stop killing turtles lol
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On June 25 2011 08:07 cojosc2 wrote:
He's a complete bad ass. He wears studded belts all the time and is a rule breaker.
Screw the guy stealing the girl from you! Ditch the girl, and steal the guy from her. He sounds so dangerous! /me swoons
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Studded belts all the time and is a rule-breaker got me laughing. Shrooms and killing turtles killed me. Roflmao.
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OP was good, I thought it was just a really badly written blog until the hammers thing started bothering me, lead to a serious face-palm. Solid troll.
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It's unlikely (though still possible) that OP came up with this, I've a few of these on Reddit (and I only go to Reddit when TL links to it) and I highly doubt they even originated there.
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I was there when I wrote it. I wrote it after a serious session of Ocarina of Time.
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On June 25 2011 11:55 cojosc2 wrote:
I was there when I wrote it.
Hahahaha, this guy is pretty hilarious.
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EPT
