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When Puns Go Wrong

Blogs > Aeres
Post a Reply
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Archas
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6531 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-11 05:29:42
June 11 2011 05:28 GMT
#1
My twin brother came back from Oregon State University for a week, starting a few hours ago, and his girlfriend, Amber, came with him. I've met her before, and she's really a bit of a ditz. She'll say stuff that doesn't really make sense, and she won't realize it doesn't make sense to her until A) she is informed by someone else, or B) she thinks about it for 20 seconds. Here's her latest WTF moment.

I was walking down the hallway to the kitchen a few minutes ago, wearing my Beats headphones. (I should probably get Sennheisers or something, but that's neither here nor there). Apparently, my brother, my mother, and Amber were having some sort of tribunal in the middle of the hallway. I couldn't tell what they were saying, since music was playing in my headphones. As I walked by, Amber said something to me, but I couldn't hear it, so I removed my headphones; she was just wondering what I was doing in my room, because I guess my mom called for me and I didn't hear that either. I responded with the usual "Nothing much", and Amber, taking note of my headphones, replied in a very offhand and coy manner, "Are ya beatin'?"

-_-

I've never heard a pun fail so miserably.

****
The room is ripe with the stench of bitches!
Dalguno
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States2446 Posts
June 11 2011 05:30 GMT
#2
Oh jizz. She jacked that up.
"I'm gonna keep making drones cause I'm a baller, and ballers make drones." -Snute
Kazragore
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States369 Posts
June 11 2011 05:34 GMT
#3
I think she's comin on to you. . . Quick! Steal your brothers girlfriend then rub it in his face!
Imagine if i had a REAL weapon
Archas
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6531 Posts
June 11 2011 05:37 GMT
#4
Oh god, is this gonna turn out to be one of those threads...?
The room is ripe with the stench of bitches!
DarthXX
Profile Joined September 2010
Australia998 Posts
June 11 2011 05:42 GMT
#5
Just when you thought she was getting the jizz of it, she comes from behind to surprise you yet again.
noobcakes
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States526 Posts
June 11 2011 05:45 GMT
#6
i don't get it.
Professional BattleCraft Player
Archas
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6531 Posts
June 11 2011 05:46 GMT
#7
On June 11 2011 14:45 noobcakes wrote:
i don't get it.

She accidentally implied that I was in my room masturbating.
The room is ripe with the stench of bitches!
Jumbled
Profile Joined September 2010
1543 Posts
June 11 2011 05:49 GMT
#8
The underappreciated art of the single entendre.
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
June 11 2011 06:09 GMT
#9
On June 11 2011 14:49 Jumbled wrote:
The underappreciated art of the single entendre.

LOL I don't know why this made me laugh so hard. I'm not even sure it makes sense
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
Disregard
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
China10252 Posts
June 11 2011 06:11 GMT
#10
Shes straight forward, but that wouldve been one of those silent awkward moments.
"If I had to take a drug in order to be free, I'm screwed. Freedom exists in the mind, otherwise it doesn't exist."
MaxField
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States2386 Posts
June 11 2011 06:18 GMT
#11
I love TL comments, makes me so happy to see so many puns!
"Zerg, so bad it loses to hydras" IdrA.
GGitsJack
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
New Zealand426 Posts
June 11 2011 11:08 GMT
#12
quite a punny story there.
"A reason becomes an excuse if you don't do anything about it."
Torenhire
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States11681 Posts
June 11 2011 11:32 GMT
#13
I thought it was quite funny, Aeres. What a stiff.
SirJolt: Well maybe if you weren't so big and stupid, it wouldn't have hit you.
OmniEulogy
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada6593 Posts
June 11 2011 13:55 GMT
#14
On June 11 2011 20:08 GGitsJack wrote:
quite a punny story there.


oh God... I didn't see that one coming.
LiquidDota Staff
JingleHell
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States11308 Posts
June 11 2011 13:59 GMT
#15
On June 11 2011 20:08 GGitsJack wrote:
quite a punny story there.


You know... I would think that was incredibly witty if I was... 4?
oBlade
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States5745 Posts
June 11 2011 14:00 GMT
#16
On June 11 2011 20:08 GGitsJack wrote:
quite a punny story there.

The successful comedian store called.


They didn't ask for you.
"I read it. You know how to read, you ignorant fuck?" - Andy Dufresne
Zergneedsfood
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States10671 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-11 14:06:45
June 11 2011 14:05 GMT
#17
lol, those situations blow. I'm pretty sure my girlfriend has similar problems in making really bad puns.
/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\ Make a contract with me and join TLADT | Onodera isn't actually a girl, she's just a doormat you walk over to get to the girl. - Numy 2015
nayumi
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Australia6499 Posts
June 11 2011 14:25 GMT
#18
actually i find it quite hilarious XD

u shoulda be like "ya wanna join me?" and the moment she went wtf as you pulled out your manhood, told her how fail that pun was ...

Sugoi monogatari onii-chan!
Geovu
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Estonia1344 Posts
June 11 2011 14:46 GMT
#19
On June 11 2011 22:59 JingleHell wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 11 2011 20:08 GGitsJack wrote:
quite a punny story there.


You know... I would think that was incredibly witty if I was... 4?

I don't know about that, I found it to be quite punny as well.
MoonBear
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Straight outta Johto18973 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-11 14:52:12
June 11 2011 14:51 GMT
#20
That pun was so bad it was like being in pungatory. However, I guess you could say the phallacy in her thought process was not thinking before she spoke. But that's why we need to being exposure to these incidents lest they shrink away into obscurity. At least it wasn't an animal pun. Those tend to be beary bad since their keep splitting hares all the time. After all, cheetahs never prosper.

You could say that people who make bad puns should find more meaning in life. But I guess that's why you never bring a life to a pun fight.
ModeratorA dream. Do you have one that has cursed you like that? Or maybe... a wish?
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
June 11 2011 14:56 GMT
#21
Stop making fun of your brother's girlfriend, ya jerkoff.
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
palanq
Profile Blog Joined December 2004
United States761 Posts
June 11 2011 17:32 GMT
#22
should have told her you were greasing your trombone so that you could lay down some beats and give yourself aural pleasures
time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
frogmelter
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States971 Posts
June 11 2011 18:40 GMT
#23
On June 11 2011 14:46 Aeres wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 11 2011 14:45 noobcakes wrote:
i don't get it.

She accidentally implied that I was in my room masturbating.


I get what she implied, but what was she actually trying to say? I've been thinking about this for like 5 minutes and I don't see how she messed this up...
TL+ Member
Dalguno
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States2446 Posts
June 11 2011 19:15 GMT
#24
On June 12 2011 03:40 frogmelter wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 11 2011 14:46 Aeres wrote:
On June 11 2011 14:45 noobcakes wrote:
i don't get it.

She accidentally implied that I was in my room masturbating.


I get what she implied, but what was she actually trying to say? I've been thinking about this for like 5 minutes and I don't see how she messed this up...


The headphones are called Beats, so "beating" would have been the same thing as listening to his Beat headphones.
"I'm gonna keep making drones cause I'm a baller, and ballers make drones." -Snute
calgar
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States1277 Posts
June 11 2011 19:46 GMT
#25
On June 11 2011 23:51 MoonBear wrote:
That pun was so bad it was like being in pungatory. However, I guess you could say the phallacy in her thought process was not thinking before she spoke. But that's why we need to being exposure to these incidents lest they shrink away into obscurity. At least it wasn't an animal pun. Those tend to be beary bad since their keep splitting hares all the time. After all, cheetahs never prosper.

You could say that people who make bad puns should find more meaning in life. But I guess that's why you never bring a life to a pun fight.
Berry good work
Liquid`Drone
Profile Joined September 2002
Norway28701 Posts
June 11 2011 21:37 GMT
#26
On June 11 2011 14:37 Aeres wrote:
Oh god, is this gonna turn out to be one of those threads...?


you know, I recently noticed your signature. today it was different, but within the same theme. do you have a file saved with stuff I've said I prefer enduring over being kicked in the balls?
Moderator
Zim23
Profile Joined August 2010
United States1681 Posts
June 11 2011 21:47 GMT
#27
My thoughts on puns is that they always "go wrong" because they are the lowest and shittiest brand of humor.
Do an arranged marriage if she's not completely minging, and don't worry about dancing, get a go-kart, cheers.
Archas
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6531 Posts
June 11 2011 21:49 GMT
#28
On June 12 2011 06:37 Liquid`Drone wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 11 2011 14:37 Aeres wrote:
Oh god, is this gonna turn out to be one of those threads...?


you know, I recently noticed your signature. today it was different, but within the same theme. do you have a file saved with stuff I've said I prefer enduring over being kicked in the balls?

No, but I do have a list of funny things people from TL have said. I just felt that this current sig was better than the other one. :D
The room is ripe with the stench of bitches!
Archaic
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States4024 Posts
June 12 2011 01:58 GMT
#29
On June 11 2011 23:51 MoonBear wrote:
That pun was so bad it was like being in pungatory. However, I guess you could say the phallacy in her thought process was not thinking before she spoke. But that's why we need to being exposure to these incidents lest they shrink away into obscurity. At least it wasn't an animal pun. Those tend to be beary bad since their keep splitting hares all the time. After all, cheetahs never prosper.

You could say that people who make bad puns should find more meaning in life. But I guess that's why you never bring a life to a pun fight.

I shed a tear. Beautiful.
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