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Blogs > sechkie
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sechkie
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States334 Posts
April 30 2011 19:19 GMT
#1
I am a 20 year old college student and recently have begun a sort of friends with benefits relationship with a friend that is running into some issues. We met about a year ago at a party when she had a boyfriend, but we hit it off pretty well became friends kept in touch one in a while and just continued with our lives.

After about 6 months the new school year started and we started hanging out a bit, became close again and we eventually started talking after she approached me and hooked up. However, this wasn't fated to be as we had some issues to deal with while we were on winter break, namely this girl that liked me was also one of her close friends and brought up some big issues causing a whole bunch of drama and during this time period we decided to just be friends.

For the next few months we continued with our normal lives, but eventually we became close again. At this point, she once again declared her attraction for me (term is attraction not, i like/love you) and we at this point became friends with benefits. Overall I was okay with this relationship as we began with the oh of course there are no strings attached and we were closer to soul mates/bestfriend than dating. (She actually declared us to be soulmates in that we feel that we are that close to each other, we trust each other, etc.)

The current phase of our relationship is that she came back from spring break with a boyfriend and I wasn't sure where that left me in our relationship. They have a long distance relationship and respecting him and her I decided that yup we would just be friends again I'm okay with that. Somehow, we are continuing our relationship and eventually she stated that she wasn't sure what to do. She wasn't sure how she felt about her "boyfriend" and she also wasn't sure how she felt about me. She knew that she was attracted to me, would always want to hang out with me, and would also continuously get jealous if I was hanging out with other girls.

Eventually, the problem came down to this, I feel like my relationship with her is that we are close friends (perhaps best friends almost soulmates). I am attracted to her yes, perhaps I do like her. But when I think of dating her, I do not necessarily feel like I need to, but when I think of her dating someone else or being with someone else I don't want that either.

I was hoping that you guys at team liquid could help me out in this predicament. Should I continue to sit back hope that our relationship continues and just let her decide what she wants? Or should I be more upfront with what I think and be more active and actually pursue her. Any other advice and help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for the help TL!

*****
Ryuu314
Profile Joined October 2009
United States12679 Posts
April 30 2011 19:29 GMT
#2
Oh dang...a new girl blog. Haven't seen one of these in a while hahaha
Murderotica
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Vatican City State2594 Posts
April 30 2011 19:59 GMT
#3
If you don't want her seeing other dudes that means you want her for yourself. If you had to decide between ending it and keeping it going, you would keep it going I assume. Therefore you have to secure her.
ǝsnoɥ ssɐlƃ ɐ uı sǝuoʇs ʍoɹɥʇ ʇ,uop || sıʇɹoɟ ɹǝdɯǝs
Seeker *
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
Where dat snitch at?37023 Posts
April 30 2011 20:03 GMT
#4
Holy hell...... uncanny.... I'm in the exact same predicament. Not quite the same as yours but the situation itself is pretty same.

If I were you, I'd go for it. Just flat out lay it on the line. Tell her that it's either friends forever or more than that. Because just waiting is going to slowly kill you, to the point of insanity. I'm not kidding.....

Don't live with any regrets, or "what could have been...."
ModeratorPeople ask me, "Seeker, what are you seeking?" My answer? "Sleep, damn it! Always sleep!"
TL+ Member
McKTenor13
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States1383 Posts
April 30 2011 20:03 GMT
#5
Honestly you need to be upfront about it. Make shit happen if you want it. She's a cool chick who wants you and you're good friends. It's going to work out. The fact that you dont want her dating someone else means that you do have feelings for her in some way.

I was in a very similar situation. I sat back and waited and it sucked and I wasted a lot of time. Just make something happen or get out otherwise you're wasting your time and energy.
If you can chill. chill. - Liquid'Tyler
TheGreatWhiteHope_
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States335 Posts
May 01 2011 00:59 GMT
#6
follow ur heart bro
sechkie
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States334 Posts
May 01 2011 02:56 GMT
#7
Thanks for the advice guys, I'll figure something out in the next few days and probably post something to see what happens after this. wish me luck guys!
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