I started off the new season very poorly and lose three games in a row to stupid and simple mistakes. The first game is a ZvZ where I am late on my spawning pool and fail to defend a baneling rush – difficult enough to defend even when the spawning pool goes down at the right time, so I let it slide and move one. Game two is a ZvP where I know I’m being 4 gated, know I need to mass lings, and accidently press D instead of Z, another very stupid mistake, I let it slide again. Game three was another mistake but I can’t even remember it, probably because I raged hard. I alt-F4, go into the closet and scream, log back in to check how many points I lost as if that matters more than watching the replay and reviewing my mistakes. It’s shameful to admit this; my priorities are obviously out of whack and this is how it always goes down for me lately – the first couple losses I can seem to handle, but I let it add up and then just explode with rage. After the first explosion successful and fun laddering for that day is hopeless, usually.
Well after that third game my brother shows up at my apartment. We hang out for a bit and I spend some time showing him some pro games I had already seen. I showed him the epic game of Mondragon vs. zeerax and I show him some TLO games with nukes and battlecruisers, because my brother loves terran, nukes, and battlecruisers. I can’t think of anymore games to watch and we are waiting for pizza to show up so I decide to ladder until it arrives. Partially inspired by re-watching mondragon’s nerves of steel with dealing with air harass, but mainly just not wanting to act like a damned fool in front of my little brother I tell myself I absolutely cannot and will not rage. I even tell myself I will probably lose, because I am rusty and have been making simple mistakes. I know it is healthy to believe in yourself and have a positive attitude, but it is also healthy to be realistic. I feel like it was a good thing to anticipate a loss. I plan goals for the game, and winning isn’t one of them: I want to get my buildings down on time, I want to never get supply blocked, if I lose I want it to be with too many drones, and I want to hit all my larva injects. Given how I’ve been playing lately, these are good goals to have.
So I get into a ZvT on one of the new maps which I am still not great at. I poke at his front and easily spot a reactored factory, since I haven’t learned good overlord paths on the new maps I don’t have one remotely close to sac at a good time, so all I have to go by is that factory. I build three spine crawlers to cover my main and natural, and I fill in the holes with my lings and queens – no way in hell hellions will get through this. I run around with my spotting ling to find out when the hellions move out, eagerly awaiting to shut them down hard and then take a third. Only they never move out, instead I notice two cloaked banshees over my ramp heading straight to my main.
Well fuck - this is when I normally fall apart. I don’t normally gg at this point, but I might as well, because I will basically just “wait” for all my queens to die and then gg (or alt-F4 depending on how pissed off I am), normally I am raging too hard inside to even really try. I think I already lost. Only this time my brother is there watching me, and I am thinking about how well Mondragon handled that air harass when I certainly would have been fucked in that situation. I want to learn to play on a higher level right? Well I’m going to have to play this out and try, stay calm and try. It’s not over ‘til it’s over.
I only have two queens, I just started my lair, and fortunately I have an evo chamber. I cancel the lair in favor of more queen production, and throw down spores at my main and natural. At least my natural is safe while my main is under heavy fire. I keep building more and more spores at my main and they keep dying, I do a bad job of cancelling most of them in time but I don’t let it get to me. I know getting pissed off at the small mistakes is what leads to more small mistakes. He keeps sending more and more banshees and I keep building more and more queens while trying desperately to get spores up at my main. My macro is going to shit because my queens are too dead to spawn larva, my minerals are really piling up. I spend what larva I have on some drones and more lings, and I take a third. I send the lings to his natural to hopefully delay it, if he is constantly sending in one base 2port banshee he can’t have much else, right?
Eventually I am able to just throw enough queens at him and get two spores up at my main and then they run out of energy as he backs off but my queens are able to kill them before they escape. The banshee rush comes to a complete halt when his last banshee dies to a bad rally that sends it directly over the two spores at my natural. At the same time, his command center at his natural has just started and I am able to force a cancel and kill a few marines with my lings, he is massing up marines and thors so I have to quickly back off.
I get spire and baneling tech, I put on some light pressure with mutas but he already has turrets in his main not to mention the thors. He moves out to attack me with marine/thor/hellion, leaving one thor behind to defend his planetary and no turrets. I magic box the isolated thor and kill the planetary while he is killing the rocks to break into the side of my natural. I should have enough ling/bling to clean up this attack but I almost lose it at this point. I want my army behind him to flank but I can’t leave my natural unprotected that long against the thors. He is keeping his thors in the choke and I just can’t make contact with the marines. I know hitting the thors with the banelings will cost me the game but I come really close to doing it anyways, somehow I manage to regain composure and wait it out. Eventually I slip by the thors as he tries to inch forward and I slaughter the marine hellion army and then easily clean up the thors.
The game is now mine. I let him have his natural back as I take a 4th and shut down a distant expo he tries to sneak. He keeps trying to attack me but the attacks get weaker each time until he eventually goes all in with only two thors and all his scvs.
Mass baneling vs. a stupid scv all in is really, really satisfying way to end a game like that. I enjoy dinner with my brother and after he goes home I enjoy a completely rage free night of laddering, still losing some stupid games – it’s not like I instantly became that much better, but now I am actually improving again.
…and most importantly, having fun. Hopefully this lesson sticks with me, it has to.