Aw, come on, I've tried to take everyone's criticism into consideration. I think you guys had some great points.
Their points were sound, but not ambitious.
My point was:
Follow tl.net's advice and you will have a good probability of finding a poor partner. Follow your own limitations and you will have a poor probability of finding a good partner.
As far as making even polite courtship is to engage in a ritual of mutual deception, I only think it honest that the deception should be authentically your own.
On March 22 2011 12:36 ziggurat wrote: I think that your profile is probably trying a bit too hard. But whatever, what's important is how you act when you actually meet the girls. How's that going so far?
I don't have a problem for the most part, unless there's no chemistry or she's just plain boring. For example, I went out to eat with my coworker who is a friend. She's really quite pretty, but I almost immediately realized there was no romantic future for us because she wasn't really engaged in the conversation. And we had little in common.
When I meet someone that I genuinely have something in common with, it's just cruise control. I'm really good at the teasing / flirting once we're comfortable, and eventually subtle sexual comments that leads to... fun things?
My only problem has been finding these people, so I thought online dating would be neat. I am pretty confident that if I could get to the point of actually meeting, it wouldn't be a problem.
Aw, come on, I've tried to take everyone's criticism into consideration. I think you guys had some great points.
Their points were sound, but not ambitious.
My point was:
Follow tl.net's advice and you will have a good probability of finding a poor partner. Follow your own limitations and you will have a poor probability of finding a good partner.
As far as making even polite courtship is to engage in a ritual of mutual deception, I only think it honest that the deception should be authentically your own.
Well, I've gone halfway, I think. I guess I have a moderate probability of finding a decent partner. I've taken a lot of teamliquids advice, but at the same time there are certain parts of my profile I'm not willing to part with, since it's just part of who I am.
And yea, of course any sort of dating involves massive amounts of deception. Every guy knows that to be honest about sex is to get blown out of the water, just as every girl says she wants certain things but really wants something else entirely, but societal pressure causes her to lie.
Step Three: Ask every girl of interest to take the test in Step 1. Use the table in Step 2 to get a read on whether she is your "dual." Pursue the relationship if positive, otherwise, abandon the investment and try again.
Or, shortcut to Step Three:
Find out your "dual" type, and enter that type into google + forums. Usually there will be one or more threads at this forum on the subject of relationships. You can hunt for lonely people there.
P.S. Although "dual" is the ideal reading, identicals, look-a-likes, and beneficials also have their advantages.
On March 21 2011 15:46 ZaplinG wrote: You're trying too hard. Just try typing how you would speak in real life. This way you aren't turning off people who can instantly see that you have meticulously spent loads of time on your profile. Also, it will give them a better sense of who you are as a person, which will hopefully result in more concrete connections
Yeah I really do agree. I am learning that you are better off just to be yourself, make a profile that YOU would make, not something based off a "formula". When you make a profile based off things you just got offline or tips, you aren't being yourself. Girls notice that shit. Not only is it more fun to just be yourself, but it's actually much better in terms of getting girls. I've learned that you are better off to say something stupid and be yourself, rather than say "the correct thing" which isn't something you would have thought of at all (i.e. not you).
Step Three: Ask every girl of interest to take the test in Step 1. Use the table in Step 2 to get a read on whether she is your "dual." Pursue the relationship if positive, otherwise, abandon the investment and try again.
Or, shortcut to Step Three:
Find out your "dual" type, and enter that type into google + forums. Usually there will be one or more threads at this forum on the subject of relationships. You can hunt for lonely people there.
P.S. Although "dual" is the ideal reading, identicals, look-a-likes, and beneficials also have their advantages.
Feel free to satisfy my curiosity on the matter.
Hmm, well, I've taken this test many years ago. I think I got the same result as I did this time, INTJ. Apparently my duality is ESJF. INFP and INFJ being the other two positive ones.
I'm not likely to ask a girl to take the test at random, but if we seem to be getting along and have some chemistry, I'll mention it and report the result.
Some parts of INTJ fit me, but others not. So I'm a little skeptical. But we'll see how it works out.
Unsurprisingly, according to a tl.net poll INTJ is the most common personality type here.
Should any potential reader, upon witnessing the breadth and scope of this profile, through a lack of interest or by absence of motivation, fail to devote a reasonable period of time in an attempt to fully review its contents, said reader may forfeit any expectation of interest on behalf of the profile’s creator unless the reader proves him or herself to be of above average physical attractiveness, intelligence, creativity or an acceptable ratio of all aforementioned qualities as deemed by the creator with significant weight and consideration given to attractiveness with regard to provided photographic documentation.
"There's nothing worse than being ordinary, except a kitten falling into a well and drowning just out of your reach."
I try hard to appear nice, and I’m totally not sarcastic at all! I will not let you forget this.
I enjoy having fun. Wow, I bet you've never heard that before. What an odd thing to say. You can't have fun and not enjoy it. Do you enjoy masturbating, too? I just can't get through my day without masturbating. It's so amazing.
I spend a lot of time on internet forums. Watching sports or going to a bar, not so much. I try to live a healthy lifestyle, which includes exercising and eating food branded “real food”. I know it’s not a popular opinion, but I think music is awesome!
What I’m doing with my life I am still in college, getting a degree in Philosophy or English or something. After that, the plan is to get a degree in Law or psychology or something. The future is a long ways off and I haven’t really fleshed it out much yet, and that’s just, like, my opinion, man.
I’m really good at I'm good at philosophizing, writing, being sarcastic, and noticing irony. Can you imagine having 2000 spoons, when all you need is a knife? I can.
I'm good at video games. I guess that makes me a bit of a nerd, and I'm okay with that. I understand things like “xbox” might seem out of place on a college campus, but I’m not ashamed of who I am.
The first things people usually notice about me That I'm sarcastic and smart, because I wear T-shirts with sayings that would indicate this so that people notice it before they notice things like my face, fashion sense or hygiene.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food Books: Mystery, philosophical Things like Dan Brown finding the Da Vinci Code or solving mysteries.
Movies: Horror, intelligent comedy, the occasional romantic film as long as its not too cheesy. Examples: Scary Movie 4, Fast and Furious, Pulp Fiction. Maid in Manhattan, Boondock Saints. Fiddler on the Roof.
"There's too much beauty to quit." – P. Diddy, Ma$e and Black Rob
TV: Joss Whedon, Show Time. That takes care of most of them. Scrubs, Lie to Me. I don’t watch much TV because that seems like something intellectually actualized people wouldn’t do.
Music: Techno, Rock, as long as it isn't rap we're good. All that crazy fast talking with rhymes makes me nervous, like a crime might break out.
The six things I could never do without A lot of times you can just skip to this section without even reading a profile to get a good measure of how interesting someone is. Just scroll down past the wall of text and check to see if the person lists food, water, and shelter. Wow, you know how to not die. That's HOT! Since I actually enjoy going out on dates with people that aren't dead, would you like to go get some coffee? Oh, what, was this paragraph too snarky and confrontational for you? Big whoop, who cares? Not me. (Did you get it? That was my sense of humor).
Here's the things I can't live without: Computer with an internet connection. I will get rid of you or anyone else who gets between me and the internet. Bottled water for my amazing health, because regular water is for fat people. Also, I’m staunchly “pro-litter,” but if you are hot and against littering I can change that. My music which gives me the motivation to do things in life (except become a professional musician, don’t worry). Good company. I would loosely define this as “people I know on the internet and a few old RL friends.”
That about sums me up. Only need four things to survive! I'm so much better than everyone else, make sure you remember that.
I spend a lot of time thinking about The silliness of some match making questions. Seriously, they're funny if you think about them. Like airline peanuts. Who are they trying to keep out of those things? I have lots of funny things to say.
On a more serious note, how to tell when people are lying, and the nature of the world. Also, I like to think about how great it would be to cure all major diseases, and that I would love to end suffering. I can be a serious person, and enjoy things like poetry and commitment. Global warming and cooling are big on my mind.
Less serious... Wondering why it's so difficult for people to use a blinker when they're changing lanes, how Scientology manages to still have followers, and about how Tim Roth is an amazing actor. Do you like any or all of those things? Did you ever notice how much they play Saving Private Ryan on TNT? Isn’t that wacky? Also, don’t you love cat videos on youtube and writing about your feelings? It feels good to cut loose.
On a typical Friday night I am Friday night, I am at home chilling out. It is the end of the week and it's my relaxation time. Plus I have to work tomorrow, get off my case, I don’t have to prove anything to you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit I am happy with the way my past relationships have turned out. Everything is a learning experience and each person has taught me new things about myself. My greatest weakness? Sometimes I think I’m a little too loveable, and sometimes I just care too much.
I’m looking for
Girls who like guys or will settle for a guy Ages 18-26 Near me For: new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, one awkward date, splitting a bill at applebees
You should message me if
1) You believe in equality for everyone but aren’t going to ask me to do much in the way of protesting or making an actual difference. 2) You are awesome, like Chuck Norris jokes and Dane Cook. 3) You are witty and sarcastic. Nothing better! (just kidding, there are plenty of things better, like the things labeled 1 and 2) 4)You want to make a new friend with whom you may one day find yourself drunk or desperate enough to fool around with. 5) You'd rather read a book than go to a football game, because I hate populist things and love intellectual pursuits.
You should probably not message me if:
1) You live with your parents. Sorry, college students who live at home. That’s gross. 2) You didn't read. I’ll know, because I’m going to passive-aggressively quiz you if you message me. 3) You think movies in general are boring, even though generally most movies are boring. 4) You are insane. I know, it probably shouldn't have to be said, but I figure this works kind of like how if you ask a cop if he’s a cop, he has to tell you, right?
That’s just a rough idea of what I'm looking for... but I am open minded... message me if you dare!
Girls hate guys that are "smart and sarcastic" dude.. They want a man, not a guy that will trick them and play video games haha. But it depends on who you are trying to attract and I dont know what you look like. Still it seems like you are rambling on too much going every direction. Maybe cut it down and make it more direct.
On March 23 2011 03:03 Hypnosis wrote: Girls hate guys that are "smart and sarcastic" dude.. They want a man, not a guy that will trick them and play video games haha. But it depends on who you are trying to attract and I dont know what you look like. Still it seems like you are rambling on too much going every direction. Maybe cut it down and make it more direct.
If girls hate guys that are smart and sarcastic, it would be pretty misleading to make a profile indicating that I'm not. If we ever actually met, they'd be greatly disappointed. I'm still working on making my profile shorter and direct, though. Thanks for the advice. The shorter is better thing seems pretty clear to me.
I can't help you much but please shorten your description. If I wanted to read so much, I'd get a book. In other words, let people get to know you instead of explaining yourself like a girl.
So I recently edited my profile after reading it fresh (you know if you read something right after you write it you don't notice how it really reads). I realized that you're right, there is a lot of rambling. More importantly, there's a lot of stuff in my profile that is just redundant. Like mentioning sarcasm multiple times, mentioning that I like music multiple times, and even the "don't message me if" section doesn't really need to be mentioned since. TLDR: Too much redundancy.
My sarcastic jokes are also just a little too fleshed out. I only really need three lines to make the punchline, why extend it so much? I realize that in real life I wouldn't make a sarcastic comment the size of a paragraph, but a few sentences at most.
I think the most important lesson to be learned here is to try to make the online profile an extension of yourself. Most people just want to meet a normal person. If you were meeting someone in person, they probably wouldn't describe themselves in giant blocks of texts. They'd keep it short and simple.
For some reason, though, all these things don't seem to apply to female profile. My suspicion is because the most important thing in a female profile is the picture, and all the other stuff just comes second. If I can find something in common with a girl and she looks pretty, I'll contact her. So the more garbage she writes in her profile, the higher chances of her connecting with a guy. It's an interesting dichotomy.
I think that you would turn off anybody who you'd mistakenly perceive to be "your match" because you have an inflated sense of your wit and intelligence, and anybody with sufficient brain cells would see right through your profile.
The fact that you finish up your profile by saying that someone should message you if "3) You are clever and witty." just brings that point home full force. Someone who's actually clever or witty doesn't need to try so hard and pepper their profile with sarcastic hoity-toity nonsense in an attempt to aptly demonstrate their amazing wit. Or for that matter do they need to explicitly demand cleverness and wittiness in return from their companions. Obviously, those that are clever enough will realize that you aren't actually clever enough for their tastes, and those who aren't but mistakenly believe themselves to be so would reply to your messages, so I guess that would mean your profile would actually fulfill its purpose in that it would give you a good match. So I guess ignore me...
On March 23 2011 10:20 Bereft wrote: I think that you would turn off anybody who you'd mistakenly perceive to be "your match" because you have an inflated sense of your wit and intelligence, and anybody with sufficient brain cells would see right through your profile.
The fact that you finish up your profile by saying that someone should message you if "3) You are clever and witty." just brings that point home full force. Someone who's actually clever or witty doesn't need to try so hard and pepper their profile with sarcastic hoity-toity nonsense in an attempt to aptly demonstrate their amazing wit. Or for that matter do they need to explicitly demand cleverness and wittiness in return from their companions. Obviously, those that are clever enough will realize that you aren't actually clever enough for their tastes, and those who aren't but mistakenly believe themselves to be so would reply to your messages, so I guess that would mean your profile would actually fulfill its purpose in that it would give you a good match. So I guess ignore me...
Fair points, I suppose. But I have to be skeptical of anyone that basically writes a post just to tell me that I'm wrong about myself, I'm not clever, witty, or intelligent. So, tell me something clever, witty, or intelligent that you would put in your profile to show those characteristics. That way, I can know what is clever, witty, and intelligent in contrast to what I perceive it to be. Sound fair?
So today I decided to experiment with a dating site. The only thing I put in my profile is the story I wrote about peeing (http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=169404). Anyways, I already got 2 messages and it's just the first day. Hmm...
Step Three: Ask every girl of interest to take the test in Step 1. Use the table in Step 2 to get a read on whether she is your "dual." Pursue the relationship if positive, otherwise, abandon the investment and try again.
Or, shortcut to Step Three:
Find out your "dual" type, and enter that type into google + forums. Usually there will be one or more threads at this forum on the subject of relationships. You can hunt for lonely people there.
P.S. Although "dual" is the ideal reading, identicals, look-a-likes, and beneficials also have their advantages.
Feel free to satisfy my curiosity on the matter.
but how can you know all of whether or not she is meant for you if you don't know things like this:
Their religion, and respective piety -Their family and family history -Their socio-economic class -Their artistic and literary talents -Their sensitivity, romanticism and sentimentalism -Their patriotism, provincialism, and rootedness in their native culture -Their cooking, cleaning and other domestic abilities -Their mental and emotional stability -Their historical attitude and preferences regarding bourgeois family life -Their racial origins (if not already clear) -Their feminine virtues (virginity, modesty, etc)
Should any potential reader, upon witnessing the breadth and scope of this profile, through a lack of interest or by absence of motivation, fail to devote a reasonable period of time in an attempt to fully review its contents, said reader may forfeit any expectation of interest on behalf of the profile’s creator unless the reader proves him or herself to be of above average physical attractiveness, intelligence, creativity or an acceptable ratio of all aforementioned qualities as deemed by the creator with significant weight and consideration given to attractiveness with regard to provided photographic documentation.
"There's nothing worse than being ordinary, except a kitten falling into a well and drowning just out of your reach."
I try hard to appear nice, and I’m totally not sarcastic at all! I will not let you forget this.
I enjoy having fun. Wow, I bet you've never heard that before. What an odd thing to say. You can't have fun and not enjoy it. Do you enjoy masturbating, too? I just can't get through my day without masturbating. It's so amazing.
I spend a lot of time on internet forums. Watching sports or going to a bar, not so much. I try to live a healthy lifestyle, which includes exercising and eating food branded “real food”. I know it’s not a popular opinion, but I think music is awesome!
What I’m doing with my life I am still in college, getting a degree in Philosophy or English or something. After that, the plan is to get a degree in Law or psychology or something. The future is a long ways off and I haven’t really fleshed it out much yet, and that’s just, like, my opinion, man.
I’m really good at I'm good at philosophizing, writing, being sarcastic, and noticing irony. Can you imagine having 2000 spoons, when all you need is a knife? I can.
I'm good at video games. I guess that makes me a bit of a nerd, and I'm okay with that. I understand things like “xbox” might seem out of place on a college campus, but I’m not ashamed of who I am.
The first things people usually notice about me That I'm sarcastic and smart, because I wear T-shirts with sayings that would indicate this so that people notice it before they notice things like my face, fashion sense or hygiene.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food Books: Mystery, philosophical Things like Dan Brown finding the Da Vinci Code or solving mysteries.
Movies: Horror, intelligent comedy, the occasional romantic film as long as its not too cheesy. Examples: Scary Movie 4, Fast and Furious, Pulp Fiction. Maid in Manhattan, Boondock Saints. Fiddler on the Roof.
"There's too much beauty to quit." – P. Diddy, Ma$e and Black Rob
TV: Joss Whedon, Show Time. That takes care of most of them. Scrubs, Lie to Me. I don’t watch much TV because that seems like something intellectually actualized people wouldn’t do.
Music: Techno, Rock, as long as it isn't rap we're good. All that crazy fast talking with rhymes makes me nervous, like a crime might break out.
The six things I could never do without A lot of times you can just skip to this section without even reading a profile to get a good measure of how interesting someone is. Just scroll down past the wall of text and check to see if the person lists food, water, and shelter. Wow, you know how to not die. That's HOT! Since I actually enjoy going out on dates with people that aren't dead, would you like to go get some coffee? Oh, what, was this paragraph too snarky and confrontational for you? Big whoop, who cares? Not me. (Did you get it? That was my sense of humor).
Here's the things I can't live without: Computer with an internet connection. I will get rid of you or anyone else who gets between me and the internet. Bottled water for my amazing health, because regular water is for fat people. Also, I’m staunchly “pro-litter,” but if you are hot and against littering I can change that. My music which gives me the motivation to do things in life (except become a professional musician, don’t worry). Good company. I would loosely define this as “people I know on the internet and a few old RL friends.”
That about sums me up. Only need four things to survive! I'm so much better than everyone else, make sure you remember that.
I spend a lot of time thinking about The silliness of some match making questions. Seriously, they're funny if you think about them. Like airline peanuts. Who are they trying to keep out of those things? I have lots of funny things to say.
On a more serious note, how to tell when people are lying, and the nature of the world. Also, I like to think about how great it would be to cure all major diseases, and that I would love to end suffering. I can be a serious person, and enjoy things like poetry and commitment. Global warming and cooling are big on my mind.
Less serious... Wondering why it's so difficult for people to use a blinker when they're changing lanes, how Scientology manages to still have followers, and about how Tim Roth is an amazing actor. Do you like any or all of those things? Did you ever notice how much they play Saving Private Ryan on TNT? Isn’t that wacky? Also, don’t you love cat videos on youtube and writing about your feelings? It feels good to cut loose.
On a typical Friday night I am Friday night, I am at home chilling out. It is the end of the week and it's my relaxation time. Plus I have to work tomorrow, get off my case, I don’t have to prove anything to you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit I am happy with the way my past relationships have turned out. Everything is a learning experience and each person has taught me new things about myself. My greatest weakness? Sometimes I think I’m a little too loveable, and sometimes I just care too much.
I’m looking for
Girls who like guys or will settle for a guy Ages 18-26 Near me For: new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, one awkward date, splitting a bill at applebees
You should message me if
1) You believe in equality for everyone but aren’t going to ask me to do much in the way of protesting or making an actual difference. 2) You are awesome, like Chuck Norris jokes and Dane Cook. 3) You are witty and sarcastic. Nothing better! (just kidding, there are plenty of things better, like the things labeled 1 and 2) 4)You want to make a new friend with whom you may one day find yourself drunk or desperate enough to fool around with. 5) You'd rather read a book than go to a football game, because I hate populist things and love intellectual pursuits.
You should probably not message me if:
1) You live with your parents. Sorry, college students who live at home. That’s gross. 2) You didn't read. I’ll know, because I’m going to passive-aggressively quiz you if you message me. 3) You think movies in general are boring, even though generally most movies are boring. 4) You are insane. I know, it probably shouldn't have to be said, but I figure this works kind of like how if you ask a cop if he’s a cop, he has to tell you, right?
That’s just a rough idea of what I'm looking for... but I am open minded... message me if you dare!
Step Three: Ask every girl of interest to take the test in Step 1. Use the table in Step 2 to get a read on whether she is your "dual." Pursue the relationship if positive, otherwise, abandon the investment and try again.
Or, shortcut to Step Three:
Find out your "dual" type, and enter that type into google + forums. Usually there will be one or more threads at this forum on the subject of relationships. You can hunt for lonely people there.
P.S. Although "dual" is the ideal reading, identicals, look-a-likes, and beneficials also have their advantages.
Feel free to satisfy my curiosity on the matter.
but how can you know all of whether or not she is meant for you if you don't know things like this:
Their religion, and respective piety -Their family and family history -Their socio-economic class -Their artistic and literary talents -Their sensitivity, romanticism and sentimentalism -Their patriotism, provincialism, and rootedness in their native culture -Their cooking, cleaning and other domestic abilities -Their mental and emotional stability -Their historical attitude and preferences regarding bourgeois family life -Their racial origins (if not already clear) -Their feminine virtues (virginity, modesty, etc)
The list of whether or not she is meant for you can be covered by a much smaller list, I think. At least for your typical guy.
A) Is she hot? If no, stop here. If yes, then B) Do we have anything in common at all? If no, stop here. If yes, then Congratulations! She's your soul mate!
Well, anyways, as an update to my current online dating blog: I've been talking to a cute girl on this online dating site, but unfortunately she hasn't been very responsive. I ask her a question, tell her a little about myself, she'll reply just answering the question. Usually I'd just say this is me sucking at conversation, but it's a little difficult having a conversation with someone like this. "So have you ever traveled?" "I've been to x and y." "What's your favorite movie?" "X." Talk about a one sided conversation. I don't really want to be the guy that keeps asking questions over and over again, but it's difficult when someone doesn't ask you anything back or doesn't go into much detail about anything.
I'll keep at it, though. I did find one girl (not attracted to her) that thinks starcraft is cool, though.
I will keep updating until I either give up or go out on an actual date with someone. I will succeed.
EPT
