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The Strange Life of a Newly Trained Marine

Blogs > Treetop
Post a Reply
Treetop
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States140 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-17 22:26:40
February 17 2011 20:17 GMT
#1
Okay, how in the hell did I get to this weird building? All I can see are beds and guns. Lots of guns. What in the hell is this?

Welcome to the Corps, Marine! Today we'll be slaughtering telepathic creatures that have gigantic 30 foot tall, three-legged monsters that shoot horrible laser beams.

Wait, did you say 30 feet and laser bea.....

Shut up Marine! We have 25 seconds to complete your training. Here, take this gun. Pull the trigger and bullets fly out. See the enemy, run backward and shoot. Then backward and shoot. And then, run backward and shoot more.

I can't run and shoot at the same time? That really doesn't make a lot of sens....

Shut your hole Marine! By the way, in 10 seconds you'll be shoved outside and you'll see lots of no-mouthed evil guys with blades made out of magic and weird bug things that run on four legs and shoot lasers.

Oooh! Apparently our supply of methamphetamines have just arrived. Take this syringe, and whenever you want to shoot something, inject yourself with these drugs. You'll love 'em. You'll run faster than Carl Lewis. Don't forget to run backwards and then shoot. That's most important!

Carl Lewis? He doesn't even exist in this universe. And are you seriously drugging me up to go into war? What the hell kind of army is this?

Times up! Enjoy the war!

Raynor is a prick. I hate my life.

***
NIIINO
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Slovakia1320 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-17 20:44:13
February 17 2011 20:43 GMT
#2
Haha i see what you did there. But unfortunately i get it kind of late... meh i thought that 30 foot tall monsters shooting laser beams are OK but i didnt believe that you cant run and shot.
God damn what have you done !
kOre
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Canada3642 Posts
February 17 2011 20:44 GMT
#3
lol at "why can't I run and shoot at the same time". I never thought about that before this blog ... whoa
http://www.starcraftmecca.net - Founder
Slakkoo
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Sweden1119 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-17 20:51:25
February 17 2011 20:50 GMT
#4
Don't leave me hangin'!
They taught me to run and shoot aswell, but not with gun and them bullets, I got grenades baby. Inject, shoot, run, shoot, rinse and repeat. Life sure sucks.
MoreFaSho
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States1427 Posts
February 17 2011 20:58 GMT
#5
Okay, marines can have moving shot, but that shot always misses while they're moving, compromise....
I always try to shield slam face, just to make sure it doesnt work
mizU
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States12125 Posts
February 17 2011 21:05 GMT
#6
Lmao I like this.
Nicely put.
if happy ever afters did exist <3 @watamizu_
Omni17
Profile Joined January 2011
United States141 Posts
February 17 2011 21:12 GMT
#7
How do drugs make you shoot faster?
"To Drone or not to Drone, that is the question."
Treetop
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States140 Posts
February 17 2011 21:18 GMT
#8
On February 18 2011 06:12 Omni17 wrote:
How do drugs make you shoot faster?

More finger dexterity I'd imagine. Can pull the trigger even faster than holding it down on the automatic weapon. Just a guess.
NobledBlood
Profile Joined January 2011
United States125 Posts
February 17 2011 21:46 GMT
#9
Yo Corps. Not Corp.

But funny, I spit my drink when the stim part came up XD
MangoTango
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States3670 Posts
February 17 2011 21:47 GMT
#10
Ahh, that's the stuff.

I miss that sound. :<
"One fish, two fish, red fish, BLUE TANK!" - Artosis
Treetop
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States140 Posts
February 17 2011 22:29 GMT
#11
On February 18 2011 06:46 NobledBlood wrote:
Yo Corps. Not Corp.

But funny, I spit my drink when the stim part came up XD

Thank you and it has been edited.
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