EPTHere we go. You've done this build two dozen times against the computer. You know this can work; stay calm for once in your life. Just follow the steps and you'll be off to a strong start and you can keep going from there.
Okay, there is the “find match” button. Just press the thing and get started. If I don't practice against real people, I'll never get anywhere in this game. I have the capacity to hold it together. Just don't panic. Slow down your play and focus on the fundamentals. Watch my supply, watch my money. Look at the damn mini-map! I've worked on this. I can do it.
The button has been pressed. It's searching for an opponent.
Oh Lord, please don't be Terran. I really hate Terran. They'll just Banshee rush me again and like an idiot, I won't remember to scout and drone too hard. Then my two Queens will be annihilated instantly and the game will be over eight minutes in.
Expanding search. Oh man, it's going to start soon. What if a Protoss comes up? They'll just cannon rush me or turtle up until Carriers come out, just like always.
How do you plan on stopping it this time? Quick roach rush?
Naw, they will get their cannons up before I have enough forces to move up the ramp. Besides, a sentry will be there and stop me before I get anywhere and lose my only army.
Just be like every other idiot in the Bronze league and just six pool them. That will show them not to forge first.
No no no. I refuse to resort to cheese to win games. I'll learn to play well and I'll become good the correct way.
Speaking of six pools, if you get Zerg, that's so going to happen. Maybe you should send your scout on seven...
Shut up brain! You need to calm down. It's just a game. I know what my units can do. Just scout and react. That's what Zergs do. React. Send the first Overlord near their base and keep it close so you can scout a few minutes in. I'll be fine.
Opponent found. Oh, here we go, yet another cheesey jerk player that's going piss me off after one game. Why do I even play this stupid game? It's always the same crap.
You should just turn this off and go play something that won't make you want to put your foot through the Internet and kick the other person in the face.
No, I refuse to give up. This is fun! It's the hardest game I've ever played and I want to actually become decent at a game that will be played for longer than six months. Calm down!
It's Terran. I knew it. I freaking knew it would be a Terran.
10,9,8...
Just make two Queens at each Hatch. I can do this.
7,6,5...
They'll just get cloak and your precious Queens will be useless.
I could go fast evo chamber and get spores up. Those will handle the Banshees pretty easily. Or, you could get four Queens, the evo and spores. Then you'll be set completely. Good plan, we'll go with that.
How do you intend on supporting all that off just two bases?
My macro is terrible! I'll have plenty of money. Just shut up and play!
4,3,2,1...
This guy is so dead. After my Spores and Queen swat away those Banshees, my Roaches will knock down his ridiculous little wall and this game is mine. Silly Terrans, always thinking the same way.
Loading screen: Lost Temple.
God damn it! They'll just Tank or Thor drop on my natural like always. Then just roll me over with their stupid MMM. I hate you Terran. I hate your face. I hate your family. I hate everyone you've ever cared about.
Game on. Okay, start your first drone, split the other drones...no wait, don't split, you'll just screw it up.
I think I heard somewhere that splitting drones in the beginning doesn't really help that much any way. But how could it not? Seems logical that...65 minerals!
Idiot, make the next drone! Stay focused here. Get the tenth drone going and send out your scout. You'll see the wall in and maybe see a tech lab or something.
What are you going to do about your Natural? They'll just drop on it like they always do. Maybe you could take a ninja expansion. He'd never suspect that.
Unless of course he's actually kind of good at this game and knows how to scout. Maybe I'll one base until the Banshees come.
You idiot, how do you expect to pay for an evo chamber, two or three queens, spores and still make enough drones to not lose to the ground force after ten minutes? Just go expand. If you lose it, you'll deal with it then.
Alright fourteen hatch, fourteen pool, fourteen gas. This has worked for me against Terran in the AI matches. It should be fine. Maybe I'll be able to rake in a few minerals before the stupid Thor drop ruins my entire life.
Base scouted. One Rax is down, I don't see a factory yet. That's kind of odd. Ahh, I'll just go steal a gas. That will slow down his stupid drop on my Natural and I'll have more time to prepare.
Supply blocked!
Come on man! This is the most basic stuff here. I have to quit wasting all my APM on my stupid drone and pay attention to not dying for once! Sheesh!
Okay, two Overlords making. 400 minerals. That's awfully high. I need to spend these on something. Oh right the evo chamber for my Spores. Got it, alright now all you have to do...
“The Hive cluster is under attack”.
Oh holy mother of shit pissing hell! How could he have guys killing me already? My Spawning Pool isn't even done yet! Where the hell...oh, it's the stolen gas geyser in their base. Okay, calm down, I knew that would happen. Get back to work here. Lots of Zerglings now. He might try and Reactor Marine rush me. I'll make ten Zerglings. That should be enough for the moment. Maybe get down a spine at the Natural. No, two spines. Stupid Marines won't be able to fend that off and ten Zerglings.
Evoulation chamber is finished. Do I keep going with my Banshee assumption? Do I waste the money on spores now? I should check his front door again. See how many Marines or Mauraders are there. Okay, we'll push out with these ten Lings and see what's up. Only three Marines and one Maurader? Okay, he must be going some kind of mech play. Or the Banshees are still possible.
Idiot, don't forget your Natural!
Right, right, I'm on it. Make the second Queen at your main, and send her down right as the Natural is finishing.
You need more drones idiot. If he rushes, you won't be able to reinforce fast enough.
I know! I know! More drones. Damn it! Forgot the Overlord again. This is going to be bad, really bad.
I still don't know what he's doing in there.
Maybe send in that Overlord?
No no, it doesn't have speed, it'll get shot down before it sees a thing.
Keep looking at the mini-map! He could still be dropping on you. Pay attention!
Yes, yes keep looking at the map.
Nothing is happening. He hasn't moved out. I peek up the ramp again and all I see are just a few scattered M&Ms.
This guy could be really bad and you are freaking out over nothing.
Absolutely not. One of the biggest lessons about this game I learned is to never think your opponent sucks. You get lazy and too comfortable.
I need to push forward and apply some pressure. Him sitting back is making me nervous. I'll send one Speedling around and check for hidden expansions. I'll just get some Roaches and try and knock down one depot on his wall. If his force is too big, I'll pull back and see what I can do. Let's move up to Lair tech now so I can transition if I need to.
Oh, terrific...He's got tanks sieged up right inside his base. I'll never break that wall down now. I'm so screwed. I can't get through a line of siege tanks. I hate you Terran. I hate you so bloody much.
Remember your study. What do you do against Terran?
Ling/Bling/Muta, I know. I'm not good enough to control all of those at the same time! He'll have mass Marines or Vikings out to stop my Mutas and my Banelings will be blown to pieces before I get anywhere near his ramp.
Money is getting high again. Expand. That's what Zergs do. If you can't break the wall, expand all over the map and out swarm him. He'll probably have Thors on the way too. Get lots of Zerglings. They will surround the tanks and Thors, I'll get heavy Roaches as well to fight off the ground force. This could work.
I need to be active with my Lings. Keep running around the map, watching for when he pushes out. Try and catch him out of position and crush his stupid Tank force.
Get Overlord speed now. Send one in and make sure you know what's going on.
How long does that take to research again? What if it doesn't come up in time and you get squashed before you have time to react?
Well, I can't just sit on my hands here. I need to do something. I'll just keep massing up my units. I'll try and get my surround and...
”Hive Cluster is under attack!” Where in the living hell of Aiur did that come from?
Tank drop at your Natural idiot. Remember that thing you were worried about? Well, it happened and you can't stop it now with your stupid little ground forces.
GG and quit. I hate this game so much. There is no way to stop this!
Maybe that six pool I suggested before would have...
Stop it! I told you, I won't resort to corny and cheesy tactics to win at this game and I will learn to play it the right way and become better. I refuse to switch to Terran like all the other Band-wagoners have done. I do have self-respect after all...
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