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moktira
Ireland1546 Posts
+ Show Spoiler [Dilemma] +Alright, can't believe I'm writing this but I need to get it out.
I'm currently living in the UK and sharing a student house with a Kenyan, a Greek, a Frenchman and an Englishman. The Kenyan guy is going home for Christmas on Monday night and is leaving to go to London tomorrow. He bought his plane ticket through some travel agency paying most of it initially and has £220 left to pay. His parents transferred the money to him during the week and he got it Friday, however he lost his bank card that night. He now has to pay the £220 by 12 o'clock tomorrow or he can't go back.
Unfortunately, the others in the house got in an argument with him earlier in the week about money as he didn't have the money to split the gas and electricity bills on the day we agreed so now they're not going to help him, I wasn't there when that happened so I escaped that.
So he asked me for the money tonight. Though I don't make much, I do have the money, however £220 is a lot and there are question marks. For example the fact the others said he told them he didn't have £20 pounds for gas and electricity earlier in the week yet now he claims he had the money but lost his card, also the English guy lost his card earlier in the week (how often do two people in the same house lose their bank cards in one week?). He also initially said he needed £300, not £220, the fact that he had booked this a few months ago and waited 'til the weekend of it to pay seems odd. There's always the chance that he won't come back after Christmas, etc. etc.
Anyway, I am a bit of a sucker and I decided I did want to help but I didn't want to give it all as there is too many question marks, so I lied and said I only have just over £100 in my bank account but I could give him that, so I ended up strolling down to an atm at 11 o'clock at night and gave in a bit more giving him £120. I suppose my hope was I felt it would be easier to ask four or five different people for £25 or £20 now than to ask one for £220. It didn't work, the other guys in the house still won't help and his friends don't seem to have much money.
Now the Greek guy is making me feel bad saying that I should have either given him all or nothing, but giving him half was just mean cause it gets his hopes up but he still won't be able to get back but it will help me sleep tonight. And he's got a point, I could have done more. I still could, got about 6 hours.
Has anyone any advice? I'm not going to make a poll as that seems like a cheap way of finding out what people think. So much for going to bed early tonight, it's not 2a.m. ACE are playing in two hours...
I also want to add that I've only been living here about two months and in that time I haven't seen too much of him so I don't really know him that well.
+ Show Spoiler [Conclusion] +So what happened in the end is he went to London but didn't get the money in time so his ticket was cancelled and he lost his deposit. I got my money back and he didn't get home for Christmas, I still could have done more but at the same time, no one else did anything so I don't really feel guilty but I am sorry for him.
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It's up to you to analyze the situation. Is he telling the truth, and does he really need the money? Then you should help him.
Is he a liar? Then you don't have to.
I really can't be of much help because I can't help you figure out the truth behind this
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I'm sort of suspicious... of the situation, however I wasn't there.
If I knew everything said was true by all parties, I would help him.
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This might not be the answer you're looking for, why does hasn't/doesn't he go to the bank and get a replacement card? I don't know if it's different in Ireland, but here you can go to the bank if you lose your card and get a temporary one instantly until the new card is mailed. Talking to the bank can be quite helpful in situations like this.
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dude, it's 2010. He has to have some account he can access through the internet. Failing that, his parents should have something through the internet and even failing that, one of his close friends/relatives.
I mean 220 pounds is a relatively small amount of money to help someone in need, his family should be able to help him out, I don't see why it should be you - someone who has only known him for 2 months.
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I would suggest him to call the bank and get a replacement.
I lost my bank card once. I noticed at night so I just called them to have it disabled, and on the next day I went to a branch to get a replacement. The call took 10 minutes. Getting replacement took 10 minutes (minus the time for the trip). It's DEAD easy. They don't yell at me, laugh at me, or charge me a fine.
I use Scotiabank, in case this matters. I am pretty sure whatever bank he uses, it's the same.
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Depends on if you can afford to lose the money, as it is quite likely you won't get it back. You have already invested £120 for him and if nobody is going to give him the other £100 then while you had good intentions they were kind of pointless. If you can afford to lose the money I would give him the £220. If not then wait to see if he gets it and if not than you get your money back.
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Can't he just go to a bank and withdraw the money? Unless he is using some obscure banks in Kenya that had no branches in UK I don't see why he can't do that.
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If I had the money I'd just borrow it to him. Maybe it's my non-belief in the worth of money, but I think you'll both feel a lot better when he gets to spend Christmas with his family and you can sleep without worries about the ghost of christmas past.
Ask him to bring you a Christmas gift from Kenya in return.
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moktira
Ireland1546 Posts
It's a Saturday night and the banks are closed and will be closed on Sunday too. He was told that the earliest he could get a new card is Tuesday. As his parents are in Kenya a bank transfer will take a few days to come through.
I got him to try and do a bank transfer online but he then he couldn't get into his online bank. His password kept failing, he requested a new password but that comes in the post. The main reason I did that was because I wanted to make sure he actually had the money but when he couldn't get in alarm bells went off.
There's too many coincidences and suspicions really. However I did see the e-mails from the travel agency and know that he does need to pay it by Sunday at 12.
In ways I am quite soft, but I feel the other three in the house should give in too.
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On December 12 2010 11:25 moktira wrote:
It's a Saturday night and the banks are closed and will be closed on Sunday too. He was told that the earliest he could get a new card is Tuesday. As his parents are in Kenya a bank transfer will take a few days to come through.
I got him to try and do a bank transfer online but he then he couldn't get into his online bank. His password kept failing, he requested a new password but that comes in the post. The main reason I did that was because I wanted to make sure he actually had the money but when he couldn't get in alarm bells went off.
There's too many coincidences and suspicions really. However I did see the e-mails from the travel agency and know that he does need to pay it by Sunday at 12.
In ways I am quite soft, but I feel the other three in the house should give in too.
Is he returning? I am pretty sure banks are willing to do emergency loans?
EDIT: is it possible to write a contract for this kind private loans? Where are TL's legal powerhouses?
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I wouldn't give him anything. He can go sort his own stuff out with the bank. I think he's full of shit.
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It honestly looks like hes fucking with you...... how do you not know the password to your own onlie bank account? everyone knows theirs f like programmed into their brain..... stay out if it and come up with some bs excuse like your cat from home needs a new haircut or something
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On December 12 2010 11:44 dahornnn wrote:
It honestly looks like hes fucking with you...... how do you not know the password to your own onlie bank account? everyone knows theirs f like programmed into their brain..... stay out if it and come up with some bs excuse like your cat from home needs a new haircut or something
I wouldn't even think you need a BS excuse. It's fucking Christmas time, everyone is broke lol.
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What the fuck. You should not feel guilty at ALL.
And it's NOT about what you can do for him. It's about what HE can do for himself. If he really wants to get his ass back home, he'll do what he needs to.
That's a lot of money and it's not like you're close to him or whatever. It's best to be cautious. Even the £120 shows that you're a good guy. But you should not be feeling guilty. You have no responsibilities in this situation.
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My opinion is that you shouldn't be spending more than 6 hours to help out a stranger. If it takes you more than 2 hours to make the amount of money he is requesting, you shouldn't do it.
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First and foremost: It's only money. Scam or not, you'll not go hungry on account of helping the guy.
That said, you've already given far more than even a close friend would expect from you. You've got nothing to feel guilty about.
Flip a coin. You're not wrong in either case.
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fuck giving any more money, dude. Would never personally have given the money in the first place. You don't owe him anything being a housemate, he's having a laugh to expect people to be able to help him out who are just his housemates. Gona have to stay in England, not the end of the fucking world!!!! Sucks to be him but hopefully next time he won't be a massive idiot and lose his card!!!
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He sounds like a leech... Don't give money to people like that because 1: A normal person wouldn't ask for money from someone without a really good rapport and 2: I've meet people like this before, they are no good.
He is definitely using you... Get your money back from him if you can lol. If you're uncomfortable/not sure if you want to give someone money, the answer is always that you shouldn't.
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Now the Greek guy is making me feel bad saying that I should have either given him all or nothing, but giving him half was just mean cause it gets his hopes up but he still won't be able to get back but it will help me sleep tonight. And he's got a point, I could have done more. I still could, got about 6 hours.
How about this "Greek guy" who is making you feel bad, chip in the other 100? That's just ridiculous, he chipped in nothing, so how can he judge you for helping at all (50% is pretty generous).
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
I've been in this scenario countless times. I'd say 80% of the time you will not get paid back unless you make an effort to do so, and it will take a long time. 20% of the time the person will dissapear.
The fact that you made this post shows that you don't fully trust the guy. If you fully trusted him then loaning would be NP.
People don't just 'lose their bank cards.' Give me a break. If this was so important to him he wouldn't have lost his bank card.
All of this + earlier argument about 25$ w/e with roommates = he's broke and desperate.
If anyone wants to make you feel bad, just tell them to shut the fuck up. No clue why you have such faggot roommates.
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moktira
Ireland1546 Posts
Well the Greek guy was just being a dick because he thinks I'm too soft for believing him, he told me he doesn't trust him when it comes to money and I shouldn't either, but if I do I should fully help him, not go somewhere in between when others won't help him, and I see his point.
The guy was very grateful for what I gave him and it does make it easier for him. I just woke up now and I can hear him downstairs so it doesn't sound like he was successful, he's got one more hour. The French guy is talking to him now so maybe he's giving in.
If he can't get home and it was genuine and I could have helped him more is where I'll feel bad. He is leaving his things here over Christmas and his tuition fees have been paid for the year.
On December 12 2010 12:30 MrBitter wrote:
First and foremost: It's only money. Scam or not, you'll not go hungry on account of helping the guy.
I suppose this is sort of how I feel, but if it is a scam I'll be pissed and probably will never help anyone again. I did take his parents number while I was in his room though.
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English guy told to Greek guy that he is not coming back after xmas so they decided that they can borrow some money and dont give a shit.
English guy came up with idea that he can do "I lost my credit card" trick and here we go.
But English guy get easily 120 pounds and he wants MOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAR so the Greek guy is pushing you to give him even more and he can bought "I wanna be gamer gear" for the xmas : )
END: 200 pounds are TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH.
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I know how you feel bro and it's nice that people like you are out there.
Here is what you do: transfer the money to him using a credit card like VISA. I know in Canada, if you get scammed legitimately, VISA has insurance that will cover you and give you back your money.
I hope I'm not too late lol
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EPT
