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So I broke up with my girlfriend. We were each other's firsts: she was about to turn 15 and I was 17.
Now it's almost four years later.. About an hour ago we broke up. On way too good terms.. For a while after we broke up we were hugging and kissing on the couch. Then I brought her home. It was over.
During the whole thing she was crying. I could do nothing but fucking smile. I hate it when I do that. I smile when people get angry at me. What the fuck is wrong with me. I've got some kind of shell that delays emotion..
So there I was riding my bike home. My monolog went something like this: Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuck. Oh noo... Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I think you get the idea.
I am so confused right now. I have no idea how I am supposed to feel. We were hugging and kissing a moment ago. And it's fucking over..
If you can be bothered posting a comment to help me feel better, I'd appreciate it. I'm in tears right now. Fuck.
 
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Take a shower, it helps me when I am in a horrible mood.
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your still young theres plenty of time yet for love.
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Its better than you two broke up now than later, i know its cliche but its true. Its better that you broke up earlier if either of you knew it wasn't going to work out, then to go through years of someone asking themselves if this is really what they want, and ending up leaving in a much worse time.
Your still young, and it hurts, I know, I've been there, but eventually you will get over it. Some sooner than others, but the pain will pass, you have tonnes of time to find someone else, someone that will complete you even more than she ever did, someone that you will spend the rest of your life with.
Everyone's been there, we all know it hurts, and we're all here for you.
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Cliche but true: Time heals.
If you can believe that ontop of that gigantic fucking hill you are climbing is a peak with the most beautiful sunset you will ever see. And after, you'll realize that life goes on, and it's beautiful.
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"I have no idea how I am supposed to feel."
You are going to feel however your physiology dictates, whether or not you believe that's supposed to happen. I'm almost completely certain that there's nothing "wrong" or especially deviant about you or how you create and display emotion.
If you're in tears, you may as well cry till your tear glands run dry. Catharsis comes from baring yourself naked to whatever torments you.
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On December 10 2010 08:28 Coagulation wrote:
your still young theres plenty of time yet for love.
Not saying you are wrong, but people do say this then all of a sudden you are 35 living in a shitty one roomed apartment playing Pokemon by day working at your local 7/11 by night.
Just trying to say that life isn't as long as you think so, perhaps that was his love, and he actually FUCKED UP, and will have to work on himself before he can attempt to regain her.
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in a week or two you will hook up again most probably. She will miss the relation you and her had. She will soon find out there is no one like you you have been with her for several years and that is hard to get over.
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On December 10 2010 08:40 rel wrote:Show nested quote +On December 10 2010 08:28 Coagulation wrote:
your still young theres plenty of time yet for love. Not saying you are wrong, but people do say this then all of a sudden you are 35 living in a shitty one roomed apartment playing Pokemon by day working at your local 7/11 by night. Just trying to say that life isn't as long as you think so, perhaps that was his love, and he actually FUCKED UP, and will have to work on himself before he can attempt to regain her.
Ugh, no. Being alone that late in life is so rare. And even still, if you're alone @ 35 that doesn't mean you never had a single, meaningful relationship in the interim.
Not only do you not say anything to make this guy feel better, you say something COMPLETELY untrue that could only serve to make him feel worse. Way to go.
"Perhaps that was his love"...? What, love is like getting saved by Spiderman, everybody gets one? Stop it.
You'll survive, OP. It hurts like hell now and it probably will for awhile, but you'll survive. Most people are way stronger than they give themselves credit for, you included. Stuff like this stings more when you're young.
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Kind of confused as to why you guys are breaking up if you are both really sad, are hugging and kissing, and to boot you are on really good terms. It seems like you both don't want to break up...then why should you? It seems like you HAVE to break up from what you are explaining..can you explain why you are breaking up?
Dw about the smiling thing btw, not really important.
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Really fucking weird lol. Why exactly did you guys break up? Hugging and kissing doesn't seem like a normal way to break up to me.
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yeah .. why?? i mean, if you were hugging and kissing its obviously not because you've grown to hate each other?
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Just don't get back together immediately... remember why you two broke up.
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Next time you look back at your relationship, look again. There were as many dark moments as there were good ones.
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Thanks for all the kind comments. As to why we broke up: we gradually became more distant. Ofcourse every relationship has its rough patches, but this had been going on for about four months. Before tonight there was about a week of radiosilence.. We didn't see each other, we didn't really call. We seemed to have less to talk about.. It just devolved and we just don't feel for each other anymore the way we did when we met.
So I did have a lot of time to prepare for this moment, but still.. it felt so weird when I kissed her goodbye. It was like any other night..
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Well you're still on good terms... You didn't like actually lose somebody or anything. It's not like she hates you or like died or something.
If you really miss her just give her a call and hang out sometime over something casual. So long as you don't turn into a sticky icky bugger, I don't think anybody will fault you for that 
But yeah, move on, but don't feel like the world suddenly ended around you, because it didn't! You're young, you're vigorous, and you have at least 3/4 of your life ahead of you!
Find a balance between your past and your future, cherishing your memories while keeping your heart open for new opportunities at love.
Good luck man! <3
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It's called growing apart, Khenra. People evolve and move in different directions. After four years together, I'm sure it's difficult, because being together can become habit. Relationships take work and they're not always easy. Stepping back, extricating yourself from one another, is probably a good thing. If it's the "everlasting" kind of love, you might just get together again a long time from now.
As far as you smiling at inopportune moments - I was told it's a nervous reaction. I use to lol at funerals. Go know.
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On December 10 2010 08:44 Toxigen wrote:Show nested quote +On December 10 2010 08:40 rel wrote:On December 10 2010 08:28 Coagulation wrote:
your still young theres plenty of time yet for love. Not saying you are wrong, but people do say this then all of a sudden you are 35 living in a shitty one roomed apartment playing Pokemon by day working at your local 7/11 by night. Just trying to say that life isn't as long as you think so, perhaps that was his love, and he actually FUCKED UP, and will have to work on himself before he can attempt to regain her. Ugh, no. Being alone that late in life is so rare. And even still, if you're alone @ 35 that doesn't mean you never had a single, meaningful relationship in the interim. Not only do you not say anything to make this guy feel better, you say something COMPLETELY untrue that could only serve to make him feel worse. Way to go. "Perhaps that was his love"...? What, love is like getting saved by Spiderman, everybody gets one? Stop it. You'll survive, OP. It hurts like hell now and it probably will for awhile, but you'll survive. Most people are way stronger than they give themselves credit for, you included. Stuff like this stings more when you're young.
Well, I don't think it is totally UNTRUE as it does happen, but you are right about it not happening as often as I put off, and are also right on the fact that I shouldn't of been so negative. So I apologize.
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Chill. If I've learnt anything its that things are always worse than they seem. Don't do any stupid things like go back begging. Just wait 3 days and see that she'll come back and you'll feel renewed. And then when that happens you HAVE to have a ZOMGserious heart-to-heart talk about the new direction to take your relationship. You have to realise that the passion, sparks etc. only last a year or two, after which if you still want each other it means it IS true love!
Also, If you are the type that constantly fight or play mind-games with each other that shit has to stop!!!
Alternatively: just show her this thread and she'll get an idea how much thus actually means.
All the best!!
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Time is the only thing that heals all you can really do is try to keep yourself busy and try not to hang out with her as much but what is mostly going to happen is...
1. You are going to over think things and think she is the only love you will have in your life.
2. You are going to hang out with her and not listen to me because ..."its different"
3. You are going to get mad at her for random things and be on tilt for a bit.
4. Jealousy 
I don't blame you for taking any of my advice but in all honestly life goes on and what can you do about it you know...
So I just suggest keep the good terms but you can be really hanging out its going to make things pretty hard since it was a long relationship. If you want any more advice PM me.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://imgur.com/BIGkb.jpg)
