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Social life and Job Collision

Blogs > Flicky
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Flicky
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
England2671 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-06 20:31:33
December 06 2010 20:14 GMT
#1
Going to keep this short. I have a very lacking social life. I currently work in a kitchen that employs two other people and this is the extent of people I see. I chose not to go to University and the other few people I consider friends are all there at the moment. I've worked almost every Weekend for the last four years and the last time I went out for the evening with friends was in June 2009 in Milan and I can't remember the last party I went to. I get hardly any time off and have missed countless concerts and other events due to my work.

I'm at a point now where I'm choosing my current career path. I kind of want to persue a career in cooking but part of me just yearns for a standard 9-5 career where I not only get my weekends back but also get to meet new people at work. I have three options at the moment and reasons for and against each.

Current Work - I am about to get an increase in work hours from 16 hours a week to 32-39, going from working Friday-Sunday to Tuesday-Sunday and on top of that, I'll get training in Chinese cuisine from my boss. I'd like to do this, but the issue is my already rubbish social life will completely disappear and I'll have one evening or two evenings a week to do what I wish. Hours are approx 4pm-11pm

New Cooking Job - Not only is this hard to get but it'll be an entirely different workplace (Chinese kitchen to an English one). An advantage is that I may get to meet new people but I'll have no real time to do anything about it. I don't want to leave where I am now due to the issues my boss will suffer if I leave (they're understaffed as it is and overworked).

9-5 Job - Possibly harder to get and I don't know how much I'll enjoy it, but I'll get the social interaction I crave right now. I'm fed up of being alone.

I want some advice guys.

Liquipedia"I was seriously looking for a black guy" - MrHoon
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
December 06 2010 20:18 GMT
#2
--- Nuked ---
deepfield1
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States373 Posts
December 06 2010 20:18 GMT
#3
Do what you enjoy. Getting your weekends back won't mean squat if you are hating your life M-F.
Sr18
Profile Joined April 2006
Netherlands1141 Posts
December 06 2010 20:20 GMT
#4
Why can't you combine both the cooking job and the social life? Even with the increase in hours, 32-39 hours a week doesn't seem to be imcompatible with a healthy social life.
If it ain't Dutch, it ain't Park Yeong Min - CJ fighting!
darkponcho
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States262 Posts
December 06 2010 20:23 GMT
#5
erm.. isn't 32-39 hours a week less than a 9-5 job?
life
decafchicken
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United States20164 Posts
December 06 2010 20:29 GMT
#6
Go to university.
how reasonable is it to eat off wood instead of your tummy?
MisterD
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Germany1338 Posts
December 06 2010 20:36 GMT
#7
i'm sorry if this sounds kinda harsh, but its the impression i got:

you state your current social life is seeing two people at work, which you already call more or less non-existant. So it seems like you don't really need to worry about losing something you don't have. So to me it feels a little like this "reason" against staying at your current job is somewhat an excuse you made up for yourself.

So i'd recommend you take a moment and think about this (neither might be true, but still you should read it because if you don't think about it you won't find out): Did you make up that excuse, because you genuinely want to do the other job and try to make the idea of staying in your old one feel uncomfortable to yourself in order to get you to move on? Or did you make it up in order to represent the "outside world tells me that this is a bad thing" point of view, but you yourself don't actually think so yourself and only feel obligated to think that it is bad because you are taught that impression from outside?

in case its to make your old job seem more uncomfortable: thats plus score for changing your job.

in case its because you feel obligated to think that is a bad life: thats plus score for staying at your current job.


if both isn't true, then i'm sorry to have wasted about 5 to 10 minutes of your time ;/

Still, try this for all your arguments: think about if it is a real argument, or if it is made up to tilt you in some direction, because you want that direction and don't know how else to express it, or because you feel obligated to do so by parents/society/friends telling you that its the "right" thing. Because "right" isn't always "good"
Gold isn't everything in life... you need wood, too!
KwarK
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States44055 Posts
December 06 2010 20:39 GMT
#8
Host another lan.
ModeratorThe angels have the phone box
hifriend
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
China7935 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-06 21:15:43
December 06 2010 21:14 GMT
#9
Come on dude, you have 5 days a week off and you don't have time to get some social interaction in there? Be honest with yourself, if you haven't gone out once over the past year then it's probably largely by your own decision. If your current friends are so extremely busy they can't possibly meet you for some drinks or coffee other than during the weekends, then it's time you seek some activity/hobby on weekdays that allows you to meet new people.

Sounds to me like you're pretty happy with your current job, except for the schedule.
MisteR
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Netherlands595 Posts
December 06 2010 21:14 GMT
#10
To be honest, I believe you should definitely continue the job and the carreer you are pursuing at the moment. I don't think that you really want to do something else.

However, social life is important and I can see that your work-hours can make it hard to meet up with friends. On the other hand, you've still got a huge amount of free time left, that for some reason does not suffice. That leads me to believe that there is more to it.

I don't want to guess, so let me put bluntly what the facts that you did provide tell me: you should have no problem establishing an adequate social life in the free time you'll have. There are many ways to do that, not least of all is getting another, lighter job, where you do meet lots of different people. What about volunteering?

I don't know. I just have the feeling that something else entirely is holding you back and that that is the real issue. Good luck anyway.
Nal_Ra/Much/Horang2/Flying fighting!~
Zim23
Profile Joined August 2010
United States1681 Posts
December 06 2010 21:17 GMT
#11
Do what you love. Social life will work itself out.
Do an arranged marriage if she's not completely minging, and don't worry about dancing, get a go-kart, cheers.
Emon_
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
3925 Posts
December 06 2010 21:22 GMT
#12
I remember hearing some actor say: "If you wanna be successful: Be prepared to work 10 years without getting paid".

If you have a 40hrs job that you work at most of the week, that means you're loaded when you want to party. Stick with your job, shit will work itself out.
"I know that human beings and fish can coexist peacefully" -GWB ||
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32145 Posts
December 06 2010 21:26 GMT
#13
On December 07 2010 06:14 hifriend wrote:
Come on dude, you have 5 days a week off and you don't have time to get some social interaction in there? Be honest with yourself, if you haven't gone out once over the past year then it's probably largely by your own decision. If your current friends are so extremely busy they can't possibly meet you for some drinks or coffee other than during the weekends, then it's time you seek some activity/hobby on weekdays that allows you to meet new people.

Sounds to me like you're pretty happy with your current job, except for the schedule.


Cooks have the most fucking absurd hours, that's probably part of it. My friend is a cook and the moron calls me on Monday nights at 11pm asking where we are going. He works virtually all weekends. The entire industry is crazy like that.

And you all apparently get terrible, terrible grease burns because you're all crazy people.
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
tofucake
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Hyrule19220 Posts
December 06 2010 21:37 GMT
#14
9-5 sucks. Don't do it. And if you want to learn to cook, stay where you are. Learn a bit, then, if you want to learn a different type of cooking, move to another restaurant.
Liquipediaasante sana squash banana
DwmC_Foefen
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
Belgium2186 Posts
December 06 2010 21:47 GMT
#15
Go 2-3-4 years to college, meet people then go cooking?

Just saying.

Oh I KNOW! Get a degree of some sorts in cooking :o
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32145 Posts
December 06 2010 21:56 GMT
#16
9 to 5 blows too, but it's nice knowing exactly when you will and won't be working. I have a lot of friends in the food industry and it's a bitch planning things with them.

Though I guess if you're a spontaneous individual, predictability blows.
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
dahornnn
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United Kingdom395 Posts
December 06 2010 22:02 GMT
#17
I know the feeling of everyone being at university...kinda sucks :D
Go for what you think will make you have the most job satisfaction with the bonus of being sociable?
Good luck to you sir!
Slayer91
Profile Joined February 2006
Ireland23335 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-06 22:42:13
December 06 2010 22:39 GMT
#18
I dunno, seems like social life is something you can pick up whenever you have the time//meet new people at work with the same schedule etc. Getting a chance to have a career training+full time work on something you want to do, especially if you don't have a degree, is the chance of a lifetime if you ask me.

P.S "I'm fed up of being alone."
Intentional pun?! don't tell me you're trolling again =p
I mean, your average gamer craving a social life seems plausible at best already
OutlaW-
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Czech Republic5053 Posts
December 06 2010 22:41 GMT
#19
ever tried applying for some cooking course/university?
That would mean at least some socializing + a good job
Delete your post underage b&. You're incestuous for you're onee-chan so you're clearly not a bad guy, but others might not agree
Pholon
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Netherlands6142 Posts
December 06 2010 23:19 GMT
#20
On December 07 2010 05:14 Flicky wrote:
Current Work - I am about to get an increase in work hours from 16 hours a week to 32-39, going from working Friday-Sunday to Tuesday-Sunday and on top of that, I'll get training in Chinese cuisine from my boss. I'd like to do this, but the issue is my already rubbish social life will completely disappear and I'll have one evening or two evenings a week to do what I wish. Hours are approx 4pm-11pm


Best option I think. It'll give you enough social security and money to do whatever you want on your time off. Plus getting training or any sort of schooling on the side will make you climb the ladder more. If cooking is something you enjoy learning to become better at it seems a good carreer investment. Your free time (with 32 hrs of work), granted, is not at ideal times but I think you can make it work if you want to. It also seems the easier option to take /and then turn around from/ if you don't like it.
Moderator@TLPholon // "I need a third hand to facepalm right now"
bellweather
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States404 Posts
December 07 2010 01:07 GMT
#21
What's wrong with 32-39 hours of work a week, getting out at 11pm? People don't want to party until then anyway.

More seriously though, unless you are an amazing cook and have serious career prospects ahead of you, go to college if you can afford it; I understand that some people just don't have the means and that's fine. An education is not to be underestimated (plus it's fun!). Anyway, I work 65+ hrs a week making fucking spreadsheets all day, so if I can maintain a social life, you probably could too.
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isnt' there. -Charles Darwin
Tekin
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
2711 Posts
December 07 2010 01:08 GMT
#22
I know how you feel man. I work 9-5pm weekdays but during the weekend I have so many left over work from work that I don't have enough time to go out even just for dinner. but I do find it that Saturday is the only time that I can get plan things out with my friends but its really rare.
Cheers! //¯◡◡¯\\ 문채원 | 한지우 -___-
Manifesto7
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Osaka27174 Posts
December 07 2010 03:29 GMT
#23
Maybe I am missing something, but your current job is only 16 hours a week, and you cannot have a social life?
ModeratorGodfather
JeeJee
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Canada5652 Posts
December 07 2010 05:06 GMT
#24
i kind of have to agree with the general statement in this thread..
you have very little hours, you get off at 11 (plenty of time to party 12-3 for instance. around here clubs dont really fill up til midnight anyway), and you get whole weekdays off for casual dinners/trips etc

i suggest you take the job (since you seem to love what you're doing) but make time for social activities. you can always make time.
(\o/)  If you want it, you find a way. Otherwise you find excuses. No exceptions.
 /_\   aka Shinbi (requesting a name change since 27/05/09 ☺)
Horrde
Profile Joined March 2010
Canada302 Posts
December 07 2010 15:39 GMT
#25
You had my sympathy up until I read that you were only pulling in 16 hour work weeks. What do you do the other 5 days? I was thinking "shiiit, here's someone pulling 60+ hours week after week, poor guy..."

Working weekends is really standard when comparing yourself to students, except they have a full course load to handle as well. I'm not going to act like I know you but it looks like your just demotivated right now and are just longing for a change of any sort really.

Personally, I would push for that 9-5 job. It's a big change, and I think that's whats most beneficial here. Your evenings and weekends will be free, and that looks like it's the most optimal choice for you. Best of luck man, and start having some fun.
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