EPT
My spirit has been broken.
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dabom88
United States3483 Posts
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Thegilaboy
United States2018 Posts
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matjlav
Germany2435 Posts
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Ghin
United States2391 Posts
Moral of the story: It's better to have a greasy hand than a lettuce sandwich. | ||
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Rotodyne
United States2263 Posts
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Deleted User 3420
24492 Posts
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OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
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chobopeon
United States7342 Posts
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AleC
332 Posts
My favorite burger place by far. Good luck with your all nighter though | ||
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Tony Campolo
New Zealand364 Posts
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ClanOverdosed
691 Posts
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shawster
Canada2485 Posts
the thought of that situation makes me heartbroken, i probably would've shed a tear too may good things happen to you for suffering so greatly | ||
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Shotcoder
United States2316 Posts
Edit: DAMNIT THWARTED AGAIN! | ||
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Karliath
United States2214 Posts
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rift
1819 Posts
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wooozy
3813 Posts
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strongwind
United States862 Posts
they'd let you eat that in the library?! edit: you get the food in a cardboard box if you ask for it "in the car", which I find to be highly misleading...took me a while to figure that out. | ||
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Ancestral
United States3230 Posts
On December 03 2010 14:53 Rotodyne wrote: If no one saw, pick it up and put it together and eat it. If someone saw, pretend to pick it up and throw it out, and then secretly put it together and eat it. I'll mention a sad thing, which is when I read this post I laughed and then for nearly a whole second thought "wait where is the "Like" button?" God damn that F-Book. But seriously man, you should have just eaten the burger. It's good to keep your immune system guessing. | ||
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Yoshimi
United States163 Posts
If it happened to me, I'd be at a loss for words...and I'd probably rage really hard. >_> | ||
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yrag89
Malaysia315 Posts
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Wohmfg
United Kingdom1292 Posts
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Demand2k
Norway875 Posts
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Kakera
United States419 Posts
 Sorry for your loss. | ||
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Foreplay
United States1154 Posts
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chobopeon
United States7342 Posts
On December 03 2010 15:11 rift wrote: 5 second rule is a myth. It is the 0 second rule. Contact = dirt. it's not a myth, it's personal preference. depending on where i dropped something, i could handle a 5 second rule easily. my kitchen floor? not that dirty! i'm good, eat up. | ||
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Murderotica
Vatican City State2594 Posts
The entire flight, which was my first, I spent vomiting the food the waitress gave us almost immediately upon eating it because my stomach was not capable of enduring the variety of nutrients and sugars that were in it. It was a torture chamber that was so distant from all that I was comfortable and used to that I began to hallucinate my own death every time I retched, which happened every 10-15 minutes. People were petitioning to have me locked in a bathroom for the rest of the 11 hour flight after the first meal, willing to sacrifice one of the three bathroom on a small shitty-ass Aeroflot airplane so as to not hear my apparently morbid death rattle that came with each dry retch after the initial upheaval of real food, according to my parents. Upon disembarking I had been without food in my stomach for longer than 20 hours. Then came the eternal customs check, during which we were detained on suspicion of being illegal immigrants. At about the 26 hour mark we left the airport. We first set foot in America with a suitcase of clothes and 26 dollars. The first 16 of those dollars were spent on various transportation to get to Brooklyn, where my parents' friend lived. The remaining 10 dollars were spent on Big Macs at McDonald's across the street from the house in which we stayed in. My parents strictly forbade me from eating more than a bite per hour, seeing as I had been rejecting food for over a day. We purchased the burgers, and did not eat them in the restaurant - my parents were appalled at the filth that was present, as well as the lack of true cooking that came with the food. They said they would have to try it first, back at the place where we now more or less lived at for a few weeks. We arrive at the front door of the apartment building and realize that we can't get in without the key, do not have the means to call our friend, and do not know how to alert him that we are here. An hour passes of my parents holding a McDonald's bag and asking people for change to use a phonebooth in whatever broken English they could muster, along with hand gestures. I am at the point of blackout but could not go to sleep due to the hunger inside me. I sat so quietly that my parents were beginning to worry about my mental health. Eventually we got the money and called our friend. He was not at home. Desperation reached its crescendo. Three hours later the friend arrives and explains that he thought we were arriving at whatever time it was PM, not AM (he worked an overnight 14 hour shift, being broke as a joke himself), and therefore went to work (which phone number we did not know). Apologizing profusely, he let us into the house. I was about to kill myself to not endure this country and all the shit that came with it any longer. But not before I got the straw on the camel's back - watching my parents eating their burgers first, to make sure it wasn't some sort of unearthly toxin that only Americans are capable of tolerating, obviously. The looks of satisfaction on their tired faces sends shivers down my spine to this day. Then they went out to smoke a cigarette and let the food settle for 20 minutes, just to see if they felt sick or not. Only one joy in this world kept me afloat - the cat. The dude owned a fluffy cat names Kiska, which is the Russian way of saying "Kitty". Kiska was playful, but always moaning about something or other. I felt its pain. We were one being. Those 20 minutes seemed like a second eternity, all within one waking day of my young life. The burger was sitting on the mattress next to me, but being the obedient child I was, I didn't eat it. My parents were the smartest people in the world in my mind, and they wouldn't lie to me about the dangers of the potentially unprecedented evil that was posed by the Big Mac. I went to the bathroom to drink water and pee and suffer a slight blackout as what was probably the last calories that entered my body in the past double-eternity in the form of decaf coke from the airplane more than 12 hours ago left me. I awoke when my parents found me, apparently 20 minutes after their cigarette, in the bathroom. I was startled, but I saw that my parents were healthy-looking and relieved at finding me. I ran out of the bathroom past my parents to the burger I had left on the mattress in the living room... Only to find an empty box and some lettuce strewn across the ground, with the cat licking the last of the sauce off the lettuce. Lettuce from the burger which the cat, having not eaten for 14 hours, which was less than half of what I had endured without food retention, had decimated completely. You speak of spirits broken. Well guess what. Fuck your lettuce and tomato burger. I'd kill 100 beautiful virgins with a feather duster, retrospectively, to have what you had. Praise whatever deity you believe in for the luxuries you possess. Be grateful, because you have the LUXURY of being so. | ||
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dabom88
United States3483 Posts
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Adeeler
United Kingdom764 Posts
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dabom88
United States3483 Posts
On December 03 2010 15:39 Adeeler wrote: You think thats bad? I promised my wife I wouldn't eat burgers and pizza for a year; and on the last days before giving them up for a year I forget to have my burger & pizza last meals. This after coming back from holidays and not having had access to the burgers and pizzas I like Did you also promise not to eat Tacos and Burritos? | ||
intrigue
Washington, D.C9935 Posts
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dabom88
United States3483 Posts
On December 03 2010 15:12 strongwind wrote: hold on a second... they'd let you eat that in the library?! edit: you get the food in a cardboard box if you ask for it "in the car", which I find to be highly misleading...took me a while to figure that out. Wow thanks, didn't know. | ||
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Deleted User 3420
24492 Posts
is that a true story? lol kinda weird to just go off like that.. if that's trolling though that's pretty intense. pretty intense either way. | ||
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lu_cid
United States428 Posts
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HeavOnEarth
United States7087 Posts
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Deleted User 3420
24492 Posts
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Rainmaker5
United States1027 Posts
On December 03 2010 15:59 travis wrote: it's gotta be a troll It's gotta be a disciple blog. | ||
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Murderotica
Vatican City State2594 Posts
There was no embellishment to the story, it is one of the most prominent memories of my childhood. Years later my parents told me that Kiska died, expecting me to be sad, because she was my only friend during the time when my parents worked the same job as their friend and I almost never saw anyone except for the cat while I was jetlagging hard. I prayed for the first time in my life that night, praying that the cat went to cat hell where it starved for over a day and would get a burger, couldn't eat it, and then had me licking up the last edible remnants of it a split-second of consciousness later, over and over again for the rest of eternity. Fuck that cat. And I love cats. | ||
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dabom88
United States3483 Posts
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lungo
Denmark276 Posts
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Loser777
1931 Posts
On December 03 2010 15:42 intrigue wrote: rofl @ west coasters still thinking in-n-out is good, LOL Please enlighten us | ||
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EquilasH
Denmark2142 Posts
On December 03 2010 16:53 dabom88 wrote: Well, at least I have 30 Rock, The Office, the Daily Show, and the Colbert Report to cheer me up. I don't think this is your blog anymore. | ||
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NeoLearner
Belgium1847 Posts
On December 03 2010 15:17 yrag89 wrote: Sad for your lost. But think on the bright side, a bun, lettuce and tomato is quite healthy It might be healthy, but it doesn't make a burger. Not even if you think really, really bright What you got there is a Wish Sandwich. You got a bun, lettuce and tomato and you wish you had some meat. You can thank the Blues Brothers for that line, lame as it might be. | ||
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Z3kk
4099 Posts
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Deleted User 47542
1484 Posts
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PH
United States6173 Posts
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PH
United States6173 Posts
On December 03 2010 15:42 intrigue wrote: rofl @ west coasters still thinking in-n-out is good, LOL That's blasphemy, sir. Them's words a war could start over. | ||
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rkffhk
474 Posts
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Murderotica
Vatican City State2594 Posts
On December 03 2010 21:34 rkffhk wrote: tl;dr for the op:I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND IS THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO . . . What | ||
BroOd
Austin10833 Posts
Steve Johnson drops touchdown catch, blames God. | ||
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micronesia
United States24799 Posts
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GrayArea
United States872 Posts
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GreatFall
United States1061 Posts
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Chef
10810 Posts
There is more dirt in that burger when they make it than there is on the floor. There is more dirt in your heart now than there would be in your stomach if you just ate it. | ||
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Mothra
United States1448 Posts
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9935 Posts
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=51331 http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=57399 | ||
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fight_or_flight
United States3988 Posts
On December 04 2010 06:57 GrayArea wrote: I don't get how the burger falls apart all exposed onto the ground after the bag broke. Do they just put the burger into the bag without wrapping it in paper to hold it together? Apparently the burger was so big it was in a little box and not wrapped. It was so topped off that it came apart in the air. The burgers and fries were so heavy that they broke the bag.... | ||
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