EPTAct I.
Scene I. Empire of the Sun. The Command Centre.
Scene I. Empire of the Sun. The Command Centre.
Enter Scvarlo and four other SCVs
Scvarlo. Good morrow to you gents,
What shall we do this fine day of days,
In this fine land of lands?
SCV #1. Oh, mine some minerals I expect.
SCV #2. There's few things I like more than mining,
Few things indeed.
If I could mine for my whole life
I'd mine till I was dead.
Scvarlo. That's rather boring, isn't it?
SCV #3. Boring?!
SCV #1. Perhaps you're not one of us.
Me thinks perhaps you don't belong.
Scvarlo. Oh, don't say that. It's such a nice day.
How about we mine for a bit,
And then go for an nice cruise to take in
The sights?
SCV #1. Aye aye.
[All begin mining.]
Scene II. Empire of the Sun. Somewhere over a lakeside cliff.
Enter an Overlord
Overlord. BLEERRUUUGGGHHHHH.... BLEEEUUURRRRHHHHHH.
[Exit Overlord]
Scene III. Empire of the Sun. The Command Center.
Enter Scvarlo and nine other SCVs
Scvarlo. Oh, come on guys.
We've been mining forever!
It's already half past noon,
And you all know the benglas sleep after one.
Others. Oh shut up!
SCV #1. None of us wanted to go in the first place,
Who cares about fucking benglas?
SCV #2. If you want to go do boring things,
Like not mining,
You go on your own.
Scvarlo. Fine then!
I will!
[Exit Scvarlo.]
Others. Good riddance!
SCV #3. HAWAHWAHAHAW
SCV #2. You've got a weird laugh.
SCV #3. I know, sorry.
Scene IV. Empire of the Sun. Just outside the Zerg's base.
Enter Scvarlo
Scvarlo. Jeez, those guy don't know what they're missing.
But it sure is lonely out here,
Woe be me who is without a companion.
What I wouldn't give to meet another like me.
[Scvarlo notices a strange purple goop spreading across the landscape.]
Scvarlo. That's odd.
I've never seen anything like that before,
I wonder if it feels nice.
[Exit Scvarlo]
Scene V. Empire of the Sun. The Command Center.
Enter 14 SCVs
SCV #2. I'm having the time of my life!
SCV #3. HAWAWHAAAHWW!
[Enter an Overlord]
SCV #1. What the Hell's that?!
Overlord. BLAAAAAAAARRRGGUU,
RAAAAUUHHHH,
AAAWWWRRRRHHUUU,
AARRRRWWWWW,
EERRUUUHHHHH,
MLURRRHHHHH.
SCV #3. Damn it, I can't concentrate on my mining,
With all this racket!
[Enter a Marine.]
SCV #2. For the love of,
The Great Cursor,
Shoot it!
Act II.
Scene I. Empire of the Sun. The Zerg base.
Scene I. Empire of the Sun. The Zerg base.
Enter Scvarlo and 12 Drones
Scvarlo. Urhg! You're as bad,
As all those jerks I left back home!
Drone #1. Bzzzyyyyrr
Scvarlo. Oh, not you. I like you.
Drone #1. Bzzzyyyyuuu.
Scvarlo. Heh heh.
We'll be friends for a long time.
Who needs mining, anyway?
Let's go exploring together!
Drone #1. Bzzzzziiiuuu.
[Exit Scvarlo and Drone #1.]
Scene II. Empire of the Sun. The Terran Base.
Enter SCVs and Zerglings
SCV #2. Go ahead and claw your,
Filthy guts out.
You'll never know the joy of mining, savage!
[SCV #2. explodes in a hail of fire.]
SCV #3. No! How can this be,
For one who loved mining so much,
To be deprived of the life of mining he was supposed to continue forever!
[SCV #3. is also attacked and explodes.
SCV #1. Woe!
[SCV #1 explodes.]
Act III.
Scene I. Empire of the Sun. In the field somewhere.
Scene I. Empire of the Sun. In the field somewhere.
Enter Scvarlo and Drone #1
Scvarlo. You know, I think if you came with me,
We could convince them together,
About what wonderful things there are to do,
Besides mining.
Drone #1. Bazzzuuuuu.
Scvarlo. Hah Hah!
I knew you'd agree!
[Exit Scvarlo and Drone #1]
Scene II. Empire of the Sun. The ruins of the Terran base.
Enter Scvarlo and Drone #1
Scvarlo. What... What happened here?
Drone #1. Bzzhhuuuuu.
Scvarlo. You knew about this?!
How could you not tell me?
Drone #1. Buuhzzzzz.
Scvarlo. I should have died with them,
Mining.
I should have died mining.
Drone #1. Bzzzhuuu.
Scvarlo. Is that a joke?! After what,
You've done,
You expect me to believe it was because you loved me?!
Well I'll show you what you've done!
[Scvarlo uses his fusion cutters to sever his neck.]
Scvarlo. This is what you've done.
[Scvarlo groans.]
Drone #1. BZZZUUUUUUU!
Scvarlo. No... What have I done?
You were the only one I loved,
too.
[Scvarlo dies.]
Drone #1. Bzzuuuhhh, bzzzhuuuu,
Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.
Bzzhuuuuuuuuuu zuuuhhh bhuhuuu hzz,
Bzzzuuhhhhh,
Zzhuuu zzzeeeerr zhuubb zhuuuu
Bzzzuuu zzz zzzzz,
Bzhhuuhzzzzz
Bzzzhu hzzzz huhzzz buzzzzzz hzzzzzz
[Drone #1 spits acid on itself.]
Drone #1. Bzzzz.
[Drone #1 claws Scvarlo's face.]
[Drone #1 dies.]
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