EPTlol
So there I was, right? You know, like, the place.
I threw marcus a shuriken and we headed into the darkness. The tenseness in the air was to say the least... INTENSE. As Marcus and I traversed the inner city allyways of the metroplis of Wheatonia we knew one thing to be certain. One thing to be true and one thing to be right. We knew that we had to protect this with our lives much like our forefathers before us and our lineage would after us.
Suddenly in the stillness and tranquility of the night arose a distant siren. "This can't be good" I said to Marcus. He looked at me and spoke only with his emotions. Marcus was a pretty calm guy and I had known him for much of my life. It took a lot to stir him up and to see him looking at me with a face like that - a face of utter fear was disheartening to say the least. Marcus pulled his rokushakubo from its placement on the ground and casted a spell on both of us to protect us from the infection.
It had been seven months since the spread of the deadly pandemic had begun. In our small base we had formulated what was the cause of all of this but other than knowing that anyone who became infected turned into rabid almost zombie like creature we knew very little. What we really needed was Will Smith and a german shepard. We couldn't have that though so we resorted to using our magicks which would always buy us enough time to escape after gathering supplies or whatever our mission might have been. It's pretty sweet being a zombie fighting mage.
The siren edged closer...closer..closer. Something was wrong something was very wrong. When suddenly, out of no where,
"Go Earth, Go Fire, Go Wind, Go Heart. By our powers combined I am CAPTAINNNNNN PLANET!!!!!!!!"
Captain planet began doing his shit and kicking rabid zombie ass until suddenly, out of no where, IT WAS SPIDERMAN, EXCEPT THE DARK ONE, RIGHT? he was infected and pissed as hell, he charged STRAIGHT AT captain planet. Webs of goo and faggotness comparable to reading rainbow dominated the night sky...
No later than a second after captain planet had de-webbed dark spiderman
IN CAME THE POWER RANGERS EXCEPT THE WERE ZOMBIES. THEY ATTEMPTED TO ALSO BY THEIR POWERS COMBINED TURN INTO A HUGE ROBOT AND DESTROY CAPTAIN PLANET BUT THEN THE JUSTICE LEAGUE CAME AND THEY LOOKED POISED FOR VICTORY FOR THE GOOD GUYS AND THEN THE ASIAN KID FROM DUSK TIL DAWN CAME AND HE HAD A WATERGUN AND WATERBALOONS AND WAS KILLING ALL THE ZOMBIES.
IT LOOKED AS IF THE GOOD GUYS HAD IT IN THE BAG UNTIL THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE CAME FLYING INTO THE BATTLE IN A SCENE MORE EPIC THAN THE BATTLE IN THE LORD OF THE RINGS. THEY DESTROYED EVERYTHING IN THEIR PATHS.
AND THEN JESUS
JESUS LOL, JESUS CAME. USING HIS EXPERTISE IN CRAFTSMANSHIP AND STUFF HE BUILT WEAPONS FOR ME AND MARCUS AND CAPTAIN PLANET AND STUFF, EVERYONE EXCEPT THE ASIAN KID BECAUSE HE HAD WATERGUNS AND COOL SHIT ALREADY.
it was no use though, the four horsemen of the apocalypse were destined to win this battle but not the war, or at least thats what jesus is telling us up in here heaven, lol.
So obv jesus retreated knowing the end of the story and stuff, he raptured me and marcus into heaven and we lived happily ever after. I gotta admit though, captain planet is fucking annoying i wish he would have been a zombie.
"JUST WAIT UNTIL 1000 YEARS FROM NOW, I'LL GET YOU, OH I'LL GET YOU." God murmured as he drank his herbal green tea. It's funny though cause I don't really know what's gonna be different in a thousand years but apparently shits gonna go down. Anyways
THE END.
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