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The story:
+ Show Spoiler +I got a stopwatch about a year ago, and about 3 months in I'm thinking, how fast can I shit? So, I practiced for a while, trying to lower my time as much as I could (a full shit for me constituted all the crap leaving my system and one wipe, after I stopped the watch I'd finish my wipe)
At any rate, a couple months ago, my record was 3 medium-size shits, if I had to guess, 15 cm / 6 inches each one, normal white guy diameter, and a single toilet paper wipe in 24.73 seconds. Record set 23 March 2010.
At any rate, now I've been measuring my pisses whenever I can, and from the time it takes me to unbuckle to the time it takes me to zip, my average is 30-35 seconds.
And that 24.73 ain't a fluke either. Unless I wanna check out the new magazine that my dad just brought in (Popular Science + Shit = good combo) I can usually get down into the late 20s.
So is it just because I piss slow and shit fast, or is this something bad? I'm not the kind of guy who does anything abnormal with his "private business", but then again, what, does anyone expect me to go up to a girl and say, "I can shit in under thirty seconds, wanna go out?"?
Or am I slow and should be shooting under 20?
  
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United States24734 Posts
What is with all the blogs about defecating today omg
Please pick something less ridiculous to blog about next time ._.
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I wish I could do that. It usually takes me 15 minutes.
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holy shit!
Seriously wtf, I enjoy my shits nice and slow like eating/
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lol wut?
Seriously
These blogs are getting ridiculous. And who times their shits?
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I once peed for over 2 minutes.
I had been drinking for 3 hours without breaking the seal.
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LMFOA u measure your shit size too rofllll
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On August 14 2010 11:02 Energies wrote:
I once peed for over 2 minutes.
I had been drinking for 3 hours without breaking the seal.
Damn man I got to like 80 seconds max 
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wut. Dude that's so fucked up.
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I usually do under 20 secs (avg. around 10-15 secs). But since I spend a lot of time cleaning properly, the total time comes up to about 1 minute. I really hate going number 2, so I finish as fast as I can.
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O___________O
I thought my 5 minutes was fast........
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On August 14 2010 11:08 GrayArea wrote:
I usually do under 20 secs (avg. around 10-15 secs). But since I spend a lot of time cleaning properly, the total time comes up to about 1 minute. I really hate going number 2, so I finish as fast as I can.
I hear you man, so much toilet paper and/or time wasted when one gets stuck halfway and you can't move it up or down.
I like taking a shit (the toilet is my quiet place) but I just usually have other stuff I need to get done.
On August 14 2010 11:04 synapse wrote:Show nested quote +On August 14 2010 11:02 Energies wrote:
I once peed for over 2 minutes.
I had been drinking for 3 hours without breaking the seal. Damn man I got to like 80 seconds max
Mine's 68 after I drank too much watching Ice Age 3 at the movies. Consider yourself lucky.
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On August 14 2010 10:36 micronesia wrote:
What is with all the blogs about defecating today omg
Please pick something less ridiculous to blog about next time ._.
True dat.
Oh and to the OP:
Who the hell times their BM's? Just do your business and get out!
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Im glad you decided to share this with us.......
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On August 14 2010 10:34 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:
Or am I slow and should be shooting under 20?
You're too slow, go for the gold buddy, go for the gold.
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On August 14 2010 11:17 supernova wrote:Show nested quote +On August 14 2010 10:36 micronesia wrote:
What is with all the blogs about defecating today omg
Please pick something less ridiculous to blog about next time ._. Who the hell times their BM's? Just do your business and get out!
Nice to have something to say when you tell your observer buddies you're going to take a shit, and 30 seconds later saying "back" and watching their astonishment
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On August 14 2010 11:22 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:Show nested quote +On August 14 2010 11:17 supernova wrote:On August 14 2010 10:36 micronesia wrote:
What is with all the blogs about defecating today omg
Please pick something less ridiculous to blog about next time ._. Who the hell times their BM's? Just do your business and get out! Nice to have something to say when you tell your observer buddies you're going to take a shit, and 30 seconds later saying "back" and watching their astonishment
Oh shit, is that what that symbol is? I was wondering if it was vomit or poo.
:r
That's better.
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LOL. This thread is so hilarious.
Though I can't understand how people can read the newspaper while taking a dump. Does taking a dump really take that long?
For me, I go in, it comes out, wipe, flush, wash hands, go out. Shouldn't take more than 2 minutes max.
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you set your record on my birthday...
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EPT
