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Ok, I know another relation ship blog, I just to get this off my chest somewhere where it won't affect my real life. We are all 16/17 FYI.
My complex love polygon:
+ Show Spoiler +
So today I went out with 3 of my best friends for a walk in the river valley followed by a barbeque at my friends house house. Now Jessi was late so we went for the walk without her, leaving me Mellisa and Neil. Now I think I have have feelings for Mellisa but Mellisa has come out to me and asked for support trying to win over Neil because I'm her best male 'friend' so the whole walk was super awkward as I was being quiet while trying to walk in between Mellisa and Neil the whole time.
So Neil goes off the trail to do his thing at the communal, so I'm left with Mellisa alone. I think great here's my chance to tell her what I feel, the minute Neil is out of earshot she begins dumping on me how I need to be more helpful. Now I don't live near here and I am totally lost, and we are about a 45 minute walk back, So if I told her then it would be super super awkward if she rejected me for a full 45 minutes. She continues yammering at me at how to get him closer to her b/c he seems so disinterested (not walking beside her). Did I mention Neil is my best friend?
So I forget it and quietly and submissively say ok, with no intentions of actually helping. I am usually quite boisterous and obnoxious and take it all lightly. She noticed and asks are you ok, so my heart starts thumping loudly and I get sweaty and anxious. Neil comes back from the washroom and I say "Yeah I'm ok I just zoned out there for a second". The long walk back is full of dead air and few words are said as Neil is my best friend, me still trying to keep Mellisa and Neil seperate.
We get back to Mellisa's house to see Jessi had arrived about five minutes before we got back, and proceed to the back yard/ living room. Where we all watch Doctor Who and have a BBQ. Jessi and Mellisa are best friends they are practically inseparable so alot of the tension fades away. Sitting in the back yard starting up the barbeque Neil accidentally drops the BBQ lighter near Jessi's feet, and she jumps. Jessi quickly explains she nearly had her toe cut off by dropping a knife near it earlier today and she was still spooked.
Neil picks up the lighter again and feigns at Jessi's feet and she jumps back again. Neil laughs at this and tries to repeat it, Neil and Jessi have a history of fighting but were always good friends. Jessi however is in fairly deep realationship with another guy and we all know it. I am a big guy kind of chubby 260 LB think a little bit out of shape inControl. They continue laughing while doing so theres no big issue and then Jessi dives behind me pulling me backwards hugging me close from behind using me as a sort of human shield. She hugged me close for a good 15 seconds before Neil stopped.
Everything became super awkward for a while before Mellisa started the BBQ, and we all had some munch. The air was pretty tense for the rest of the night but not as bad as it was on the walk. However Jessi kept looking at me the rest of the evening and whenever I noticed she flicked her eyes away. Even in conversation when she was talking to Mellisa or Neil she would flit her eyes over to me so often it was noticable.
Everywhere Mellisa is Jessi always tags along, so its nearly impossible to arrange anything. I can get a hold of her and organize group things but I can never seem to get her alone her being alone on the trail was one of the few times I was actually alone with her. I've already asked her to lets go eat @ X, and she'll say "Oh yeah that sounds good let me phone up Jessi" or "Yeah lets get everyone together call up Kim and Drew, and we'll all have a walk in the river valley."
How do I tell her when I'm not even sure myself when yesterday she sent me an email how her feelings for Neil are solidifying and how it would be awesome if I could help and I didn't read it until now. I think I love her and I feel selfish for keeping her from Neil, but at the Same time I feel so deeply for her. I feel I can't ask Jessi b/c it would be super weird if she did have a thing for me and I asked her to pry into Mellisa's life about feelings for me, just as I feel so alienated when she asks me to pry into Neils.
Also Being Bi-Curious helps a F**K load (sarcasm)
WTF do I do?
Tl;DR:
Me and this girl are best friends
I love her and only found out how strong it was recently (secret), but she explicitly told me she has a huge crush that has been going on for months on my other best friend (only me and her other best friend know).
Her other best friend is in a deep relation ship with another guy but might have a thing for me.
What do?
Damn it feels good to get that out.
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Wait til college. Nothing in HS lasts, cause you end up splitting up anyway.
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First thing you should do is take a deep breath. You're 17, at the cusp of life, don't get yourself too worked up over one girl. It can be hard watching a girl you've got a crush on go for your friend, I've been in that situation too, but really there's not much you can do. If you're supportive of them, it will pay off later.
Why don't you go for her friend, Jessi? It sounds like she is into you, it could be a good experience. And who knows, girls your age are so fickle, this girl you have a crush on might be over your friend in a month's time, leaving the door wide open for you to move in. Your chances would be much better if you were supportive of her and your friend Neil, rather than trying to sabotage them or something.
So, take it easy, fellow TLer. The worst thing that can happen is that you don't date this girl - but don't worry there are plenty more.
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I think you should talk to your friend (that guy) about this. Find out whether he's into that girl, and if he's not, tell her how you feel. You shouldn't tell him she loves him (that might make her angry), just think of some way to ask him without telling. Maybe you can tell him how you feel about her.
If he's into the girl, you should just drop it and do whatever you want, take a break from relationship, date that other girl. If he's not, you should tell her and be there for her.
Anyways that's what I'd do. It seems the best way because you're not risking that much - if you won't talk to your best friend before, you may end up losing your two friends.
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Fuck her BFF then drop it. It's HS drama, not going to take you anywhere in the future. You're just lucky your friend doesn't "love" her, or that would lead to some problems. Seriously, I bet you $5 none of you are going to be together(by together I mean in a relationship) in 5 years.
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you got the drawing wrong. The arrows are all alright, uy the layout is deceiving:
this is how it should be:
bff
her
you him
If you analize the arrows you will see that 'her' is the center of the whole thing.
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opinions opinions.. let's go ahead.
basically you can't do anything  you can of course deceive your best friend (given he's interested in her) and undermine any mutual attempts to get closer, tell her he would only laugh at the suggestion to go out with her etc. then hit on her yourself (you could also try to influence your outward appearance by losing weight.. just increasing the chances).
you can hope it won't work out between them but don't take a proactive role in it. when the feelings are cooling off you hit on her and maybe you're able to win her for you.
but realistically, those schemes aren't anything you'd want to do to your friends. so yea, talk about it with Neil and if he's interested, forget about her. at least as long as they're together.
keep in mind she doesn't feel attracted to you apart from seeing you as a big brother.. it's hard but what can you do
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Instead of writing it out, I just modified your diagram.
This should keep all members of the diagram happy in the long run. Avoids drama, and everyone gets what they want.
![[image loading]](http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa80/Torenhire/relationships.jpg)
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Print out this diagram (I modified it slightly) and give it to her.
![[image loading]](http://imgur.com/t3nlm.jpg)
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the Dagon Knight4010 Posts
In fairness, there's a far better way to represent this.
My diagram includes a really forceful metaphor too. It helps to relate everyone to a particular thing and their relationship between them. I've got this shit sorted.
![[image loading]](http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/7934/lovetriangle.png)
+ Show Spoiler +I just realised that, according to this diagram, there's a massive golf course just a bit to your left. Awesome. Forget about her and play some golf man.
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I think you are mistaking love for a high school crush *sigh*
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You're 17. You don't know dick about love. You have a dumb crush on your friend and she doesn't even know it.
Stop being a drama queen. Make a move or wallow in your sorrow of never knowing the answer; shit or get off the pot, etc etc...
Someone looking at you doesn't mean they like you.
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baller would be proud of this thread.
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On July 18 2010 19:42 Torenhire wrote:Instead of writing it out, I just modified your diagram. This should keep all members of the diagram happy in the long run. Avoids drama, and everyone gets what they want.
WAT. How is shooting Jessi's bf avoiding drama.
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On July 19 2010 07:03 Bereft wrote:
WAT. How is shooting Jessi's bf avoiding drama.
According to OP, she loves him anyways. So.
He shoots BF, doesn't tell anyone, and she goes to him to be sad about it.
He then hooks up with her, managing to breeze by the friend zone because she already loves him.
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WTF do I do?
Whatever the hell you want, in a few years everything you've done so far will be stupid to you anyway
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You're not in love, you're a horny teenager who wants to bang some girl that you think you """love"""
In a year you'll look back and laugh your ass off at all of this
Find a different girl to screw and you'll forget about her.
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On July 18 2010 19:42 Torenhire wrote:Instead of writing it out, I just modified your diagram. This should keep all members of the diagram happy in the long run. Avoids drama, and everyone gets what they want.
this made me lulz.
But it's totally relevant. Bang the friend. Who knows, maybe the other chick will start wanting you after her friend tells you how amazing you are in the sack.
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yah hook up with the friend for a few weeks
you'll find that your "feelings" for the other girl will probably fade dramatically 
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uh god this thread is gold
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+ Show Spoiler +On July 18 2010 20:36 SonuvBob wrote:Print out this diagram (I modified it slightly) and give it to her.
I was going to do exactly this
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I think every future love/relationship related thread should be required to include diagrams such as these xD
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EPT![[image loading]](http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/7793/relationships.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://img227.imageshack.us/i/lovetriangle.png/)
