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I Collect ProGamer Underwear

Blogs > SirJolt
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SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4003 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-18 01:02:55
July 18 2010 00:50 GMT
#1
We all love our favourite progamers, just like we love any sports stars. So I suppose it shouldn’t sound too weird when I say that I collect StarCraft players’ underwear. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but if you put your mind to it, I’m sure you can think of weirder things to collect… definitely. Stamps and Dan Brown books and other garbage. Who’d bother?

Just like anyone else who makes a collection like this, I’d always secretly hoped that I’d be able to use the resourced I’d gain from selling my collection to fund my dreams*

Anyway, here’s the list of some of the awesome progamer swag I’ve managed to grab during my time in Korea**

Jangbi:

[image loading]

Anyone who reads my blogs regularly will probably have caught my disambiguation post for people trying to tell apart the different people with the “Jang” sound at the start of their name. That Jangbi was included alongside heroes like Jango Fett and Django Reinhardt is no coincidence.

One day, staring at some YouTube video or other, I saw a shot of Jangbi’s face at just the moment he erupted storms across the entire screen. A plethora of storms, an ejaculation of micro… I simply had to acquire his underwear.

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]



It wasn't until the above arrived that I realised something very important about JangBi. He keeps the storms close to his heart… and even closer to his wiener.

Leta:

[image loading]

Leta is a kind of Terran genius. I mean, I don’t normally give him credit for it, because I think he’s a little dwarfy and shrivelled and, to be honest, hobbits kind of freak me out, but sometimes you just have to stand up and say,

“Well played man. I don’t even like you but I feel like I need to own an article of clothing that’s been intimately acquainted with your nether regions while you breezed through some of my favourite players as though they weren’t even there.”

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]

Sorry this pic is so small, but my camera doesn’t have a macro function. It’s alright though, because I paid so much for progamer underwear, they sent me a full set of Leta loungewear too! I was so excited

[image loading]



I was the happiest man ever. I mean, I still paid through the nose for the things, because he may be a wretched little goblin, but he knows what his pants are worth to me.

Hyuk:

[image loading]

When I was first started following Hyuk, I have to admit that he wasn’t the most promising of progamers. He was the guy who had a tendency to almost win but never quite get there. That’s all well and good, but the fact was that I enjoyed seeing him play. I would wait until the last moment to see how he managed to “Hyuk” himself this week. Good times.

Even his Liquipedia entry recognises the verb “to Hyuk oneself” as meaning to dramatically snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Given the fact that he’d managed to achieve such notoriety, I thought I’d see if I could chase down some of his underwear.

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


Little did I know, when Hyuk “Hyuk’s himself” in the middle of a game… he usually Hyruk’s himself in real life. Messy stuff :/

Backho:

[image loading]

BackHo is a bit of a pimp, but it’s his dedication to the street-slang-style “ZiZiYO” that’s always been his most endearing feature for me. It’s hard not to love that kind of idealism, a will for expression that finds its way into every aspect of his game, right down to his “GG.” The man is a hero.

I’d expected his gangsta style “GG” to translate into some kind of gangsta threads, perhaps he’d be wearing underwear carved out of the bling of fallen opponenets? Who knows?

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


Of course, we should have known that BackHo would be into this… given his history of crossdressing :/

There's even photographic evidence of local workers being shocked when they saw BackHo's underwear when he was a child, so we can at least assume it went back that far.

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]

The poor lad, who knows what trauma caused him to turn to crossdressing so young. Just look at the shock on that builder's face




I’m still trying for the grail. Anyone got some of TossGirl’s underwear so that I can round out my collection? That’d be pretty sweet.


* My dreams including, but not limited to, getting to be a Battlecruiser pilot when I grow up. DREAM JOB!

** I have never been to Korea.


****
Moderator@SirJolt
illu
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada2531 Posts
July 18 2010 00:54 GMT
#2
I am not sure what to say about this.
:]
bearbuddy
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
3442 Posts
July 18 2010 00:56 GMT
#3
Hahaha. Nice blog.

Your fascination with Jangbi is getting somewhat creepy now.
nevz
Profile Joined October 2008
Sweden72 Posts
July 18 2010 00:56 GMT
#4
Well this is for sure one of the more disturbing blogs ever on TL.
Congratulations... I guess.
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4003 Posts
July 18 2010 00:57 GMT
#5
I do lose the run of myself a little. I'll be honest, I'm not crazy into Jangbi, but he always seems to be the first person to mind when I start to write a blog
Moderator@SirJolt
Dance.jhu
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States292 Posts
July 18 2010 00:58 GMT
#6
what an interesting collection
It is what it is...
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4003 Posts
July 18 2010 01:02 GMT
#7
You'd be surprised how hard it can be to get your hands on a famous man's shorts
Moderator@SirJolt
Bill Murray
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States9292 Posts
July 18 2010 01:02 GMT
#8
i once stole rick flairs used-napkin
University of Kentucky Basketball #1
k!llua
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Australia895 Posts
July 18 2010 01:09 GMT
#9
hahahaha you disturbed man.
my hair is a wookie, your argument is invalid
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4003 Posts
July 18 2010 01:13 GMT
#10
On July 18 2010 10:02 Bill Murray wrote:
i once stole rick flairs used-napkin


You have always been my favourite ghostbuster, but your work on TL elevates you.
Moderator@SirJolt
Piste
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
6177 Posts
July 18 2010 01:15 GMT
#11
I'm pretty sure those aren't really their underwear. Plus the second ones looks more like shorts instead of underwear.
The_Pacifist
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States540 Posts
July 18 2010 01:23 GMT
#12
Do you wear them too so that their micro skills embedded in the DNA of the skin flakes in the cotton could rub off on you when you play? Or do you keep them in a controlled environment all the time to prevent contamination so that every slightly faded shade of yellow stays fresh?
Bibbit
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada5377 Posts
July 18 2010 01:25 GMT
#13
When I started reading, I was wondering which player would end up being called a crossdresser. Forgot about Backho's crazy antics.
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4003 Posts
July 18 2010 01:27 GMT
#14
On July 18 2010 10:15 Piste wrote:
I'm pretty sure those aren't really their underwear. Plus the second ones looks more like shorts instead of underwear.


And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!


On July 18 2010 10:23 The_Pacifist wrote:
Do you wear them too so that their micro skills embedded in the DNA of the skin flakes in the cotton could rub off on you when you play? Or do you keep them in a controlled environment all the time to prevent contamination so that every slightly faded shade of yellow stays fresh?


No two ways about it, I always try to keep them in mint condition, so that they retain their value better, but every time a new season opens on ICCUP I sit down in my Jaedong boxers and try to absorb as much of his wisdom as possible...

He's so dreamy.
Moderator@SirJolt
frozenclaw
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
Canada409 Posts
July 18 2010 01:27 GMT
#15
I don't know what you guys are all talking about. I found genius in this man's work.
Jibba
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States22883 Posts
July 18 2010 01:41 GMT
#16
Ahaha, at first I thought you were a freak until I clicked the first spoiler. Awesome blog, very creative.
ModeratorNow I'm distant, dark in this anthrobeat
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
July 18 2010 01:46 GMT
#17
Awesome blog is awesome!
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
neobowman
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Canada3324 Posts
July 18 2010 01:53 GMT
#18
Epic win.
Dozle
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada147 Posts
July 18 2010 02:01 GMT
#19
It would have been better if these weren't pictures you got off of Google images.
DemiSe
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
883 Posts
July 18 2010 02:01 GMT
#20
Very creative!
Quite a collection you got going on there.
Let's See Who's Stronger, Your Tricks, Or My Skills.
Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
July 18 2010 02:04 GMT
#21
You're really strange.

I don't know if that's good or bad.
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4003 Posts
July 18 2010 02:15 GMT
#22
On July 18 2010 11:01 Dozle wrote:
It would have been better if these weren't pictures you got off of Google images.


Well, I was going to just use pics from my Facebook, but there were so few that seemed appropriate
Moderator@SirJolt
Polar_Nada
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States1548 Posts
July 18 2010 02:15 GMT
#23
hmmm....O.o
okayyy... haahahha
[ReD]NaDa and fnaticMSI.SEn fighting~! ::POlar @ UC Irvine::
Loser777
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
1931 Posts
July 18 2010 02:50 GMT
#24
This is ridiculous. And by ridiculous I mean gold.
6581
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
July 18 2010 03:04 GMT
#25
lol brilliant
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
jgju
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States454 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-18 03:14:02
July 18 2010 03:09 GMT
#26
This is one of the most deeply disturbing threads I have ever read on TL

Never stop posting, good sir.

P.S.
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
[image loading]
"For you biting zealots, here's a quote" - Lauryn Hill
Nickosha
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States35 Posts
July 18 2010 03:44 GMT
#27
On July 18 2010 10:13 SirJolt wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 18 2010 10:02 Bill Murray wrote:
i once stole rick flairs used-napkin


You have always been my favourite ghostbuster, but your work on TL elevates you.


Oh god this is as good or better than the blog post, LOL.
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4003 Posts
July 18 2010 09:49 GMT
#28
On July 18 2010 12:09 jgju wrote:
This is one of the most deeply disturbing threads I have ever read on TL

Never stop posting, good sir.

P.S.
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
[image loading]


This is among the best posts I've ever seen on TL. This man is a genius :D
Moderator@SirJolt
Bananas
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Sweden98 Posts
July 18 2010 11:07 GMT
#29
What's going on here? :D
"terrible terrible damage"
Philar
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Hong Kong125 Posts
July 18 2010 11:49 GMT
#30
Did you happen to take one of tossgirl's underwear too?
Atom Cannister
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Germany380 Posts
July 18 2010 12:36 GMT
#31
Rich truth yo
...
wurm
Profile Joined October 2007
Philippines2296 Posts
July 18 2010 13:09 GMT
#32
On July 18 2010 10:02 Bill Murray wrote:
i once stole rick flairs used-napkin


Did you resist the urge to utter a loud "WOOOOOOOOOO!" after you took the napkin?
I know where my towel is.
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4003 Posts
July 18 2010 14:30 GMT
#33
On July 18 2010 20:49 Philar wrote:
Did you happen to take one of tossgirl's underwear too?


Sadly not, though I suppose I could always just tell people that BackHo's underwear are really Tossgirl's... it's not like anyone would know the difference...
Moderator@SirJolt
fly.stat
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States449 Posts
July 18 2010 23:37 GMT
#34
(Z)The Dong's underwear would surely be NSFW.
Until I write you again, take care of your precious person.
Subversion
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
South Africa3627 Posts
July 19 2010 00:56 GMT
#35
There are no words
Half
Profile Joined March 2010
United States2554 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-19 01:25:00
July 19 2010 01:21 GMT
#36
CANT UNSEE CANT UNSEE.
Too Busy to Troll!
natturner
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
342 Posts
July 19 2010 02:00 GMT
#37
wut.....
This nigga done stole my bike.
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4003 Posts
July 19 2010 11:58 GMT
#38
On July 19 2010 08:37 fly.stat wrote:
(Z)The Dong's underwear would surely be NSFW.


They don't call him the Jizzdong for nothing D:
Moderator@SirJolt
nayumi
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Australia6499 Posts
July 19 2010 12:13 GMT
#39
first i was like wtf

then i was like LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Sugoi monogatari onii-chan!
BloodDrunK
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Bangladesh2767 Posts
July 19 2010 13:24 GMT
#40
On July 19 2010 21:13 nayumi wrote:
first i was like wtf

then i was like LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

LOL me too.
You have the power to create your own destiny.
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4003 Posts
July 19 2010 17:23 GMT
#41
On July 19 2010 21:13 nayumi wrote:
first i was like wtf

then i was like LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL


To be honest, the first few replies where people clearly took it seriously were amazing. I also loved the guy who seemed really angry that the pics came from Google image searches
Moderator@SirJolt
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