So I pretty much went so sleep two hours ago, but half an hour ago I was woken up because one of my friends was calling me. Long story short, she's pretty high and saying things like "we should go to the beach, I really want to go to the beach with you" and "I really want to make out with you right now" and "would you be up for cuddling and stuff" etc. Which is all fine and cool, but the problem is she also said she probably won't remember what she said the next morning.
This kind of puts me in a bind because her ex-boyfriend happens to be one of my friends (who probably wouldn't be ok with anything happening). Oh and the fact that she was high.
So yeah, I'm not exactly sure what to do. Should I just pretend like nothing happened? She also mentioned that she was kind of sort of itinerant at the moment and sometimes slept in the student union (she's taking summer classes and lives about thirty minutes from campus...sometimes she doesn't go home), and I offered to let her crash at my place if she wanted to.
But yeah. No clue.
And now I'm going back to sleep because I have to be in my cubicle this morning T_T...I'll be back when I wake up.
EDIT: So yeah, thanks for the replies (actually going to sleep now).
And it wasn't weed, she was tripping on Ambien, so it might be different (I dunno). She's asked me to try it before ("let's see who can stay awake the longest...it gets really trippy!"), but I've always declined. I know that weed doesn't make people forget stuff haha.
As for my relationship with her ex, I see him on a fairly regular basis, but don't really talk to him much. He's more an acquaintance than anything.
Ugh, now I can't fall back asleep.
Also, this stuff has happened before in the past, but it usually went along the lines of "you're so sweet, where are you right now?" and stuff. I usually just shrugged it off.
EDIT: Yeah so my relationship with her ex-boyfriend is like...I'll see him maybe once a week, and when we do it'll be very amicable. We're in a club together, so it's not like he's a really good friend, but he's not just some rando in the back of a class either.
Let her chill at your place if she needs to but don't let anything happen I guess? Oh and it's probably best to tell her ex if he is a good friend of yours.
A lot of girls use that "Oh I ___ you but I probably wont remember this" as an excuse to tell you how they really feel.. I know a few people who did that on purpose lol.
I THINK only girls that are desperate for you resort to that method, go for it if you really like her! But ofc talk to the friend first :D
A moments pleasure will just piss away at the scene of your friend being disappointed at you. Even if nobody finds out about it, do you really want that guilty act on your back?
If your friend isn't ok with it you should ask yourself if it's worth it. I did something similar once and it was not worth it Besides, she's high.. would you do it if she was drunk instead? Probably not
The rule of man says hands off (usually). Also like you said she's was messed up.
Tell your friend and then try when she's sober if you want... If she says something like that when she's high there could be some truth behind it. On the other hand she might just feel lonely and frisky =P
it doesn't seem like you've been around high people - marijuana will not make you do crazy things that your sober self wouldn't do. saying she wouldn't remember anything by the next morning also reinforces the idea that she doesn't know much about weed and is behaving in the manner she thinks high people would. it's an excuse, and the motivation behind it seems to point towards good things for you.
i am of the opinion that you would not be taking advantage of her if you did anything with her in her current state. however, i am not so trusting of or keen on girls that act in this manner and would proceed with much caution.
So yeah, thanks for the replies (actually going to sleep now).
And it wasn't weed, she was tripping on Ambien, so it might be different (I dunno). She's asked me to try it before ("let's see who can stay awake the longest"), but I've always declined.
As for my relationship with her ex, I see him on a fairly regular basis, but don't really talk to him much. He's more an acquaintance than anything.
On July 16 2010 15:33 Empyrean wrote: So yeah, thanks for the replies (actually going to sleep now).
And it wasn't weed, she was tripping on Ambien, so it might be different (I dunno). She's asked me to try it before ("let's see who can stay awake the longest"), but I've always declined.
As for my relationship with her ex, I see him on a fairly regular basis, but don't really talk to him much. He's more an acquaintance than anything.
Ugh, now I can't fall back asleep.
Go watch some Old Spice till you fall asleep ... lol
ambien is a different matter entirely, her judgment is nonexistent now and she actually will have blanks in her memory by morning. easy call to stay away.
On July 16 2010 15:38 intrigue wrote: ambien is a different matter entirely, her judgment is nonexistent now and she actually will have blanks in her memory by morning. easy call to stay away.
Should I still be like "hey, heard you need a place to crash" or "so about that beach thing?"...she told me to remind her on facebook afterward, but yeah, dunno. :/
you guys take these shit too seriously. if you're both kewl with it, nothing wrong with a bit of dirty casual sex i am sure that acquaintance of yours dont give a flying fuck either and if he does, well fuck him too. you're not expected to marry and have children jesus christ.
On July 16 2010 15:52 DatTheMighty wrote: you guys take these shit too seriously. if you're both kewl with it, nothing wrong with a bit of dirty casual sex i am sure that acquaintance of yours dont give a flying fuck either and if he does, well fuck him too. you're not expected to marry and have children jesus christ.
I'm so glad we have a little diversity and variety on Teamliquid. I hope your friends know to not trust you around their girlfriends/ex's.
Or after you are making sweet sweet love to her on the candlelit bed, you start to feel the room shaking gently. Are you still having an orgasm? No, that isn't it. The shaking gets harder and more frequent. Is there an earthquake? Maybe.. but unlikely. Then all of a sudden fucking rhinos blast through the window along with dozens and dozens of safari animals, rampaging faster than you'd see on Animal Planet. After what seems to be minutes of animals passing you by and going through the house, a lone pelican waddles by. Before you can get out of missionary position, the pelican grabs Jumanji and makes a run for it back into the street.
Wow, men love pussies why you guys acting like your shit dont stink. pussies can be reused you know that shit self cleans and last for years. why you all so fucking uptight, i dont go around grabbing my friend's titties but i aint turning consensual sex down ever. EVER.
On July 16 2010 16:08 DatTheMighty wrote: Wow, men love pussies why you guys acting like your shit dont stink. pussies can be reused you know that shit self cleans and last for years. why you all so fucking uptight, i dont go around grabbing my friend's titties but i aint turning consensual sex down ever. EVER.
Hey my HIV positive friend wants to blow you. Lets take this to PMs so I can give you the details.
On July 16 2010 16:08 DatTheMighty wrote: Wow, men love pussies why you guys acting like your shit dont stink. pussies can be reused you know that shit self cleans and last for years. why you all so fucking uptight, i dont go around grabbing my friend's titties but i aint turning consensual sex down ever. EVER.
Hey my HIV positive friend wants to blow you. Lets take this to PMs so I can give you the details.
lol hiv. this shit aint the 80's u cant scare anyone with hiv
On July 16 2010 15:21 IefNaij wrote: A lot of girls use that "Oh I ___ you but I probably wont remember this" as an excuse to tell you how they really feel.. I know a few people who did that on purpose lol.
I THINK only girls that are desperate for you resort to that method, go for it if you really like her! But ofc talk to the friend first :D
Pretty much this, she knows she'll remember it shes just trying to see what you think. Bro's before ho's though Sir Empy.
I say avoid the Ambien, Its powerful and addictive. My doctor had me try it once because my insomnia was close to forcing me to drop out of college (talking 4 to 5 days without sleep sometimes). Anyway, I took just one 5mg as directed and woke up 32 hours later in a hospital full of needles. Apparently I swallowed every single pill in the bottle and I have absolutely no recollection of the event. My friends say that they called the ambulance after I wandered into their room, fell on my face and started having a seizure. I ended up being forced to stay in the hospital for two weeks on suicide watch until they had a psychiatrist evaluate me.
On July 16 2010 16:35 Azerbaijan wrote: I say avoid the Ambien, Its powerful and addictive. My doctor had me try it once because my insomnia was close to forcing me to drop out of college (talking 4 to 5 days without sleep sometimes). Anyway, I took just one 5mg as directed and woke up 32 hours later in a hospital full of needles. Apparently I swallowed every single pill in the bottle and I have absolutely no recollection of the event. My friends say that they called the ambulance after I wandered into their room, fell on my face and started having a seizure. I ended up being forced to stay in the hospital for two weeks on suicide watch until they had a psychiatrist evaluate me.
So yeah I would avoid it.
Holy cow! i hope you didnt get any brain damage from that O.o drugs these days...
i don't know.. why would you have any moral commitments to an 'acquaintance'? ok, some maybe, but not with his EX gf. it's just the question if you see any greater potential in this acquaintance as a future friend and you think you'd lose him did you do anything with his ex girl.
if it stings really bad you can still meet with her and not go out openly for some time (but as we've seen in deadling's tiny-dick-rub example girls often don't even give a fuck about the feelings of some ex or suitor)
either way i wouldn't remind her of it. if she got feelings for you (which seems to be the case if she's not just a slut or in general need of love) she'll probably make another move, so let her make it. time plays also in your favour if you still got those moral constraints (meaning: somewhen the dude will be over her).
On July 16 2010 15:52 DatTheMighty wrote: you guys take these shit too seriously. if you're both kewl with it, nothing wrong with a bit of dirty casual sex i am sure that acquaintance of yours dont give a flying fuck either and if he does, well fuck him too. you're not expected to marry and have children jesus christ.
I'm so glad we have a little diversity and variety on Teamliquid. I hope your friends know to not trust you around their girlfriends/ex's.
Or after you are making sweet sweet love to her on the candlelit bed, you start to feel the room shaking gently. Are you still having an orgasm? No, that isn't it. The shaking gets harder and more frequent. Is there an earthquake? Maybe.. but unlikely. Then all of a sudden fucking rhinos blast through the window along with dozens and dozens of safari animals, rampaging faster than you'd see on Animal Planet. After what seems to be minutes of animals passing you by and going through the house, a lone pelican waddles by. Before you can get out of missionary position, the pelican grabs Jumanji and makes a run for it back into the street.
That second spoiler reminds me of the Choose Your Own Drug Filled Adventure articles on cracked.com, which you should read if you haven't. Fucking gold.
Yo I'm not the one to judge people by far but I'm just gonna drop off some thoughts
1. Analyze how much you like/love her - sounds kinda dumb but seriously it's the first thing you should do. 2. Was it a minor or major act - can you resolve/talk it out or is this upsetting the balance of the relationship? 3. Consider the circumstances/factors - she was clearly high/ex-boyfriend was present/is an attention-seeker = conclusively: what factors made her say such things? 4. Internally calm yourself - keep yourself collected no rage/emotions/angst 5. Hear her out - ask very abstractly and hear her side of the story. If she doesn't remember/doesn't say anything then be straightforward and hear her out then. 6. After listening you talk - say what's on your mind: you were dumbfounded when you heard about it, and just ask sincerely how she would have reacted in a similar situation. 7. Judge/Come to a conclusion - now that you have some info and heard her out, you have to figure somethings out (myself or the internet) cannot help you with just because you know your life best. Just be real with yourself.
a) Is the relationship worth pursuing? (overall-semi long term) b) Can this drama bullshit be prevented? c) What are some preventive measures? d) Could breaking up be better for both of you?
My thoughts: - Girls that still have their ex's around are trouble - Your friend should get a pat on the back for being a bro - Your girl should either apologize and somehow make it up by seriously thinking about preventive measures or you should just leave her - The issue at hand could be a much bigger issue where she may have felt neglected by you and just expressed it in a bullshit way. Probe this if you think there is a chance. - Next girl you meet try to stay away from girls that know your guy friends too much. - I say she deserves another chance if you believe in her. It's nothing serious she didn't sleep with the guy she just said some stupid shit. Just keep your girl in check man.
Real friends let other friends go after exes. Shit didn't work our between them but that shouldn't stop you from being happy. That's real bros before hoes. Don't let your emo feelings get in the way of your friend from being happy.
Just made it to my cubicle, thanks for all the advice.
I think I'll just ignore this for now...dunno how I'd react if she were to ever say like "I thought you were gonna remind me on facebook slash " T_T
Wow this was really helpful hahaha.
EDIT: Yeah so my relationship with her ex-boyfriend is like...I'll see him maybe once a week, and when we do it'll be very amicable. We're in a club together, so it's not like he's a really good friend, but he's not just some rando in the back of a class either.
On July 16 2010 15:21 IefNaij wrote: A lot of girls use that "Oh I ___ you but I probably wont remember this" as an excuse to tell you how they really feel.. I know a few people who did that on purpose lol.
I THINK only girls that are desperate for you resort to that method, go for it if you really like her! But ofc talk to the friend first :D
If you're looking for anything meaningful (meaning something that transcends sex/sexual behavior) this girl will not fulfill your hopes. To make a long advice post short:
I think a relationship should not start with something sexual, simply because it won't last. Either you or she will get bored if it is a sexual relationship.
She want to hook up. She (like any girl with dignity) doesn't want to outright tell it to you, so she only does it when she's high. The high didn't make her tell it, the high is the excuse for telling it without looking like a slut. I'm almost certain she will remember it, but will of course leave it to YOU to make the initiative. This is natural. The following is what I'm guessing she's been imagining as the ideal scenario to follow her little stunt: You realize you like her and call her later today/tommorow and tell her:
You: "Her, how are you/are you ok? You called me yesterday and said some things that got me thinking.. do you remember?" Her: uh-oh, I was high, plz tell me I didn't do anything stupid?! (saving dignity) You: nah, it was kinda cute. Listen, you mentioned you'd like to go to the beach, and I was just about to go do it, wanna come? Her: not sure, I have to do xy, but I'll let you know You: kk, I'll be going over there at around X o'clock
(...) eventually you both end up there.
-- If you want something with her, don't NOT do it because some acquaintance. If he worries you, talk to him for a minute and let him know that you're making your move and that you hope your 'friendship' won't be awkward because of this.
Bros before hoes does not apply here, because the 'bro' is just a random dude you know.
If you like her for any of the possible reasons, go for it imo.
The only question in these situations are your morals. Unless you literally asked your friend if he doesn't mind you fool around with his ex, then don't do it. This girl also seems unstable and looking for attention from whoever. If this has been happening for awhile (her getting messed up and saying she wants you, but shes not gonna remember tomorrow), then she is probably just seeing if you will go for it.
Hooking up with high girls isn't fun anyways, they are likely to fall asleep/pass out on your (from experience)
Just jokingly suggest going to the beach as a way of reminding her. I guarantee she remembers everything she said even if she plays it off like she didn't. Unless she was high on crack or something in which case I'd suggest staying away from her anyways. Also, if the guy isn't a real close friend there is no need to tell him anything unless you guys start getting serious. In which case you don't really need to say much to him.
On July 17 2010 01:41 tonight wrote: Also, if the guy isn't a real close friend there is no need to tell him anything unless you guys start getting serious. In which case you don't really need to say much to him.
You should never let some random 'friend' that you'll never talk to again after college stand in the way of some fun. Nor should the fact that the girl's a little banged up when she calls!
On July 17 2010 01:41 tonight wrote: Also, if the guy isn't a real close friend there is no need to tell him anything unless you guys start getting serious. In which case you don't really need to say much to him.
that made me laugh quite hard...
Why? You don't agree? I wouldn't tell some random fuck face that I'm nailing his girl. What's the point? I've had relationships end and you know that eventually at some point that girl is going to be with another guy. It's going to happen so there is no reason for people, guys, to get upset about it. There are select cases in which I would deem it worthy of getting angry over, but most I would say no.
wow, please don't let some acquaintance cock block you.
these unwritten rules about fucking peoples ex's are ludicrous. the only time i see them being applicable is when it's one of your very good friends who had an emotionally intense past with the ex.
On July 17 2010 03:17 ulszz wrote: wow, please don't let some acquaintance cock block you.
these unwritten rules about fucking peoples ex's are ludicrous. the only time i see them being applicable is when it's one of your very good friends who had an emotionally intense past with the ex.
On July 17 2010 01:41 tonight wrote: Also, if the guy isn't a real close friend there is no need to tell him anything unless you guys start getting serious. In which case you don't really need to say much to him.
that made me laugh quite hard...
Why? You don't agree? I wouldn't tell some random fuck face that I'm nailing his girl. What's the point? I've had relationships end and you know that eventually at some point that girl is going to be with another guy. It's going to happen so there is no reason for people, guys, to get upset about it. There are select cases in which I would deem it worthy of getting angry over, but most I would say no.
I agree, but the way you described it almost sounded like "unless him and his guy friend start getting serious"... lol
Why is the Ex BF even caring about her unless he is actively trying to rehookup with her? The only time you should even care about the ''bros before hos" thing is exactly in situations like that.
If your male friend is just being a pussy or jealous of you and some chick that's just fucking lame.
What about the additional old saying that goes "It ain't no fun, unless the homies get some". Tell your friend to learn to share and not be jealous.
On July 17 2010 04:41 CharlieMurphy wrote: Why is the Ex BF even caring about her unless he is actively trying to rehookup with her?
Now wouldn't that be wacked if it was someone from one of these blogs about their ex's.
Go out for some drinks with her and see what happens. I wouldn't really take the drugged out/drunken text messages seriously, but then again woman take them seriously from us men when we are drugged out/drunk. :|
no matter what a guy says about his ex girlfriend, shes always off limits. theres no way that a guy can date a girl and have no preference about whether you have sex with her.
question is whether you care what he says about it
hmm... not sure what the problem is. i notice in your op that you don't say anything about whether you are actually interested in her, and so i would take that to imply that you don't have a crush on her. so just ignore it and if she brings it up just laugh it off?
EPT
Besides, she's high.. would you do it if she was drunk instead? Probably not 
slash 
" T_T
