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I want my friend back

Blogs > Issorlol
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Issor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States870 Posts
June 27 2010 01:54 GMT
#1
The story: Back when I played WoW (I played for 3-4 years, i don't remember anymore) I was introduced by a mutual friend to a guy named timmy. That was 2 or 2.5 years ago. I don't remember my first reaction to him, but we grew to be friends. We played WoW, and a few other games, together for a while (five of us + others from time to time) and it was good times.

He shot himself yesterday. I didn't know until this morning, when he was taken off of life support (as near as I can gather, that's what happened). I don't want to go into why or any details, because I don't know them. All I know is that I wish I had gotten to know him more while I had the chance. I wish I had talked to him more recently. I wish a lot of things, really, but most of all I wish I could have some expectation of ever talking to him again. I wish I knew why he did what he did, but I can't and won't ever know.

I just wanted to say that somewhere. Few of my friends knew him, so I needed somewhere to say it.

This was probably incoherent on some level, but I don't care. Whatever.

*****
ella_guru
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada1741 Posts
June 27 2010 01:57 GMT
#2
Trouble behind the eyes. No one should have to go through that. Cherish what you have of him as you will always have it and no one can touch that.
Each day gets better : )
Lightswarm
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada967 Posts
June 27 2010 01:59 GMT
#3
shit. deep condolences dude
Team[AoV]
FiBsTeR
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States415 Posts
June 27 2010 02:00 GMT
#4
Just enjoy the times you have with the people you know. You can't possibly spend time with everyone you know 24/7 but when you do find yourself playing sc with your friends or even skypeing with old friends or family, just take a moment to enjoy what you have while you have it.
NuKedUFirst
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Canada3139 Posts
June 27 2010 02:00 GMT
#5
Wow,.. This thread was a shocker, I thought it was going to be about something else.. O_O?
Did you know Timmy in real life? how do you know he did that?
As ella_guru said, cherish what you have of him, sorry for your lose...
FrostedMiniWeet wrote: I like winning because it validates all the bloody time I waste playing SC2.
sc4k
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United Kingdom5454 Posts
June 27 2010 02:01 GMT
#6
feel for you. Well done for sharing
Liquid`Nazgul
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
22427 Posts
June 27 2010 02:04 GMT
#7
That is terrible. I wish you and his family/friends all the best.
Administrator
myfriendPlank
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States550 Posts
June 27 2010 02:11 GMT
#8
I'm sorry to hear that. My condolences, man....
Khalleb
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada1909 Posts
June 27 2010 02:11 GMT
#9
feel sorry for you man, my codolences to you man
Liquid'Nony: "I only needed one probe to take down idra. I had to upgrade to a zealot for strelok."
Issor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States870 Posts
June 27 2010 02:11 GMT
#10
On June 27 2010 11:00 NuKedUFirst wrote:
Did you know Timmy in real life? how do you know he did that?


facebook.
d_so
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
Korea (South)3262 Posts
June 27 2010 02:25 GMT
#11
i'm sorry man. It's unfortunate we almost never take the time to deepen our gaming friendships, even if it means just having the occasional deep conversation. In many ways, a lot of gamers are in the same demographical/psychological boat, with similar troubles and a similar mechanism (gaming) in ignoring those troubles. Something like this should give pause, even for a minute, to genuinely ask "how are you" to our gaming friends, something that seems so simple and yet hardly anyone has time for in the busy world of playing video games.
manner
ffz
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States490 Posts
June 27 2010 02:25 GMT
#12
heres hoping that it was all a dream
Meow.
Issor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States870 Posts
June 27 2010 02:30 GMT
#13
I want to thank everyone who has offered their sympathies. It was not what I was looking for when I wrote this (I'm not sure exactly what was, perhaps just venting), but it's appreciated.

On June 27 2010 11:25 d_so wrote:
i'm sorry man. It's unfortunate we almost never take the time to deepen our gaming friendships, even if it means just having the occasional deep conversation. In many ways, a lot of gamers are in the same demographical/psychological boat, with similar troubles and a similar mechanism (gaming) in ignoring those troubles. Something like this should give pause, even for a minute, to genuinely ask "how are you" to our gaming friends, something that seems so simple and yet hardly anyone has time for in the busy world of playing video games.


This in particular is very much appreciated. Very true words.

On June 27 2010 11:25 ffz wrote:
heres hoping that it was all a dream


It was not.
SC2Phoenix
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Canada2814 Posts
June 27 2010 02:33 GMT
#14
heres hoping that it was all a dream
Thats not needed at all. A friend of his kills himself and you joke around? Thats just not right...
Who the fuck has a family of fucking trees? This song is so god damn stupid. Fuck you song, fuck you and your stupid trees. -itmeJP
TelecoM
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States10682 Posts
June 27 2010 02:40 GMT
#15
God bless.......
AKA: TelecoM[WHITE] Protoss fighting
chongu
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
Malaysia2590 Posts
June 27 2010 02:48 GMT
#16
If he isn't far away from you, geographically, then you should go and pay your respects. My condolences : (
SC2 is to BW, what coke is to wine.
Issor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States870 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-27 02:57:13
June 27 2010 02:55 GMT
#17
On June 27 2010 11:48 chongu wrote:
If he isn't far away from you, geographically, then you should go and pay your respects. My condolences : (


I wish I could. He's in Michigan and I'm in Maryland, so it's quite impossible.

Edit: not that it's impossible, I just can't manage to make it up there.
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22254 Posts
June 27 2010 03:12 GMT
#18
My condolances, definitely... people you know only online can have just as great an impact as real life friends. Shame this happened.
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
Kyhol
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Canada2575 Posts
June 27 2010 03:15 GMT
#19
I guess he felt it was better if he did that, so in the end I feel he did what he had to do. Depression is a hard thing to fight, especially when you feel like you have enough.
I feel for you man. It's too bad that he couldn't continue to fight through it.

I hope writing a blog helped, even if it's the smallest bit.
Wishing you well.
Issor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States870 Posts
June 27 2010 03:19 GMT
#20
On June 27 2010 12:15 Khol wrote:
I guess he felt it was better if he did that, so in the end I feel he did what he had to do. Depression is a hard thing to fight, especially when you feel like you have enough.
I feel for you man. It's too bad that he couldn't continue to fight through it.

I hope writing a blog helped, even if it's the smallest bit.


This is not exactly why he did what he did (i only know the circumstances under which he did it), but I can't imagine it didn't have some influence on why he did it. Thank you.
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22254 Posts
June 27 2010 03:22 GMT
#21
Where in MD you from btw? Gaithersburg or around there?
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
Issor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States870 Posts
June 27 2010 03:24 GMT
#22
Nah, I'm in Calvert County, not too far from Annapolis if you're unfamiliar, Huntingtown/Prince Frederick if you know where I'm talking about. I'm relocating to Catonsville pretty soon though.
johnlee
Profile Joined June 2009
United States242 Posts
June 27 2010 03:26 GMT
#23


Bore
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22254 Posts
June 27 2010 03:27 GMT
#24
I was married in Annapolis last summer.

Only time I think we've been to Calvert though was to stop at Calvert Cliffs to dig for stuff. More familiar with Catonsville though, drive through it to get to Ellicott City.

Only bringing that up because sometimes we have TL meetups, or if you ever need a drinking buddy or something to deal with this sort've thing...
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
Issor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States870 Posts
June 27 2010 03:34 GMT
#25
On June 27 2010 12:27 EvilTeletubby wrote:

Only bringing that up because sometimes we have TL meetups, or if you ever need a drinking buddy or something to deal with this sort've thing...


I plan on attending any of the DC-area meetups I can. as for the quoted bit, I despise the taste of alcohol and I'm underage anyway, but the sentiment is appreciated
Randomaccount#77123
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States5003 Posts
June 27 2010 03:34 GMT
#26
--- Nuked ---
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22254 Posts
June 27 2010 03:44 GMT
#27
On June 27 2010 12:34 Issorlol wrote:
as for the quoted bit, I despise the taste of alcohol


Me too, that's why I drink mixed drinks or girly stuff like Mike's hard, or smirnoff ice or something. Shhhh, don't tell Chill...
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
boesthius
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States11637 Posts
June 27 2010 03:58 GMT
#28
--- Nuked ---
omninmo
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
2349 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-27 04:23:39
June 27 2010 04:20 GMT
#29
wish timmy could have seen beyond the grey sky.
let this thread be a congratulatory monument to everyone still saying YES to life.
[image loading]
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-27 04:26:53
June 27 2010 04:26 GMT
#30
On June 27 2010 13:20 omninmo wrote:
let this thread be a congratulatory monument to everyone still saying YES to life.


don't dwell on the past too much is my advice. learn from it, but don't blame yourself for what other people do. you can't know something until you know it.
EcterA
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States949 Posts
June 27 2010 04:31 GMT
#31
I'm really sorry to hear this. The only thing I can say is that if you enjoyed the times you spent with him, I'm sure he enjoyed the times he spent with you, and you should be glad that you were able to offer him friendship. I'm sure that on some level he was grateful for that. Again, my deepest condolences. I'm truly sorry for your loss.
AlliNPreFlop
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
59 Posts
June 27 2010 04:40 GMT
#32
lol'd no one cares

User was temp banned for this post.
DemiSe
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
883 Posts
June 27 2010 04:47 GMT
#33
My condolances.
If you ever bypass Michigan(?) you should pay your respects and try get some sort of closure, it might be good for you.
Stay strong.
Let's See Who's Stronger, Your Tricks, Or My Skills.
Issor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States870 Posts
June 27 2010 04:49 GMT
#34
On June 27 2010 12:58 boesthius wrote:
hey buddy, i'm sorry that this shit has happened and i feel for you man. <3 you broski, my condolences, thoughts, prayers, etc to the families.


Thanks bro. I've felt like shit pretty much throughout the entire day, but after posting this it's not as bad. I appreciate the kind words (from everyone).

On June 27 2010 13:40 AlliNPreFlop wrote:

User was temp banned for this post.


Thanks mani!

On June 27 2010 13:47 DemiSe wrote:
My condolances.
If you ever bypass Michigan(?) you should pay your respects and try get some sort of closure, it might be good for you.
Stay strong.


I plan on trying. Hopefully I'll be able to get up there at some point.
Kyuukyuu
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Canada6263 Posts
June 27 2010 04:56 GMT
#35
Awhile ago on another forum I post on, a long-time member of the community (~8 years) came back and made a threat about his drug addictions. Half a week later he shot himself. Though I never knew anything about him other than his Facebook, I know that the loss of an online friend can hurt just as much. My condolences.
Carthac
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States393 Posts
June 27 2010 05:16 GMT
#36
On June 27 2010 13:40 AlliNPreFlop wrote:
lol'd no one cares

User was temp banned for this post.


Can we get a perma ban for this please? Complete lack of any compassion and extremely disrespectful
Saturnize
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States2473 Posts
June 27 2010 05:29 GMT
#37
On June 27 2010 14:16 Carthac wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 27 2010 13:40 AlliNPreFlop wrote:
lol'd no one cares

User was temp banned for this post.


Can we get a perma ban for this please? Complete lack of any compassion and extremely disrespectful

"Time to put the mustard on the hotdog. -_-"
Subversive
Profile Joined October 2009
Australia2229 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-27 05:34:33
June 27 2010 05:31 GMT
#38
On June 27 2010 12:12 EvilTeletubby wrote:
My condolances, definitely... people you know only online can have just as great an impact as real life friends. Shame this happened.

So true. The internet is interesting like that. Horrible when you lose people who you've known online but haven't gotten a real chance to properly get to know them yet.

OP I feel for you. It really sucks losing someone you cared about.

On June 27 2010 14:16 Carthac wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 27 2010 13:40 AlliNPreFlop wrote:
lol'd no one cares

User was temp banned for this post.


Can we get a perma ban for this please? Complete lack of any compassion and extremely disrespectful

I never normally engage in requesting bans, but I'd second that. Insensitive noob.

Edit:- Nevermind. I was assuming he got a 2 day temp ban. Banned for 90 days. I'm happy
#1 Great fan ~ // Khan // FlaSh // JangBi // EffOrt //
Butigroove
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Seychelles2061 Posts
June 27 2010 05:55 GMT
#39
On June 27 2010 14:16 Carthac wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 27 2010 13:40 AlliNPreFlop wrote:
lol'd no one cares

User was temp banned for this post.


Can we get a perma ban for this please? Complete lack of any compassion and extremely disrespectful

+1

Sorry man. I know what it's like to lose a friend, and it ain't so great.
beach beers buds beezies b-b-b-baaanelings
stork4ever
Profile Joined April 2010
United States1036 Posts
June 27 2010 06:00 GMT
#40
sorry for your loss.

Friends that you meet online only and sometimes for only a specific function (games, subject specific discussion) we really never get to know outside of that function. I think thats a shame. For every ID/handlename/character there is a real person. I shall try to get to know my guildies a lot more from now on!
Pineapple
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
New Zealand126 Posts
June 27 2010 08:37 GMT
#41
Sorry to hear that. Often it's over a woman, at least that's why most of my friends have committed suicide.
emucxg
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Finland4559 Posts
June 27 2010 10:53 GMT
#42
I feel so sad reading this blog =(
TheAntZ
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Israel6248 Posts
June 27 2010 11:16 GMT
#43
I'm really sorry man, noone I knew closely ever died, I honestly have no idea how exactly i'd react if they did. I cant say I understand how you feel, but I hope you can get at least some peace of mind from the people supporting you in this blog. Best wishes <3
43084 | Honeybadger: "So july, you're in the GSL finals. How do you feel?!" ~ July: "HUNGRY."
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17921 Posts
June 27 2010 13:01 GMT
#44
On June 27 2010 11:04 Liquid`Nazgul wrote:
That is terrible. I wish you and his family/friends all the best.

Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
Lysteria
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
France2280 Posts
June 27 2010 13:07 GMT
#45
On June 27 2010 11:25 d_so wrote:
i'm sorry man. It's unfortunate we almost never take the time to deepen our gaming friendships, even if it means just having the occasional deep conversation. In many ways, a lot of gamers are in the same demographical/psychological boat, with similar troubles and a similar mechanism (gaming) in ignoring those troubles. Something like this should give pause, even for a minute, to genuinely ask "how are you" to our gaming friends, something that seems so simple and yet hardly anyone has time for in the busy world of playing video games.


Quoted.
You nearly make me want to be less an asshole with my gaming partners.

It's always sad when those things arrive. I hope you'll remember your friend, and you'll have no regret anymore. You can't blame yourself for what he did, but now you can learn from that, and maybe change a little your relations with other partners. As d_so said, it's not a big cost to pay to take a few minutes asking "how are you", or just asking for news.

I think it's a good way to remember your friend.
M155_G33k
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States470 Posts
June 27 2010 13:39 GMT
#46
Man, I'm sorry. I know what its like to loose friends. Ive lost so many over my life span, two in the past 6 months T_T and they were rather young so its not like it was there time or anything... The best thing you can do right now is to actually talk to your friends about it. Even if they have no clue who you are talking about, they will at least be there to help you. If you ever what to talk you can pm me ^_^ I hope you feel better
"It can't be a NE Lan without any problems!" ~ "Starcraft is like sex. After a rough round, sometimes you just need that cigarette."
DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
June 27 2010 13:59 GMT
#47
Condolences. Best of luck in feeling better.
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
Issor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States870 Posts
June 28 2010 00:21 GMT
#48
Well his memorial service is this thursday but I can't make it. Oh well. Hopefully I'll be able to go up there some time in the future.
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