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Dear Taco Bell

Blogs > mOnion
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mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-24 06:02:29
May 24 2010 05:19 GMT
#1
I understand it's late. Even though you stay open till like 4am, your workers are still tired. I mean come one, who wouldn't be? You guys are only human.

I realize things aren't working out the way you planned. When you were a kid you sure as hell didn't tell the other boys and girls that you wanted to be a Taco Bell employee when you grew up, you had other plans, like being an astronaut or a fireman, then when you got older you threw away those childhood obsessions and picked something you loved like being a singer or an engineer. But things have been more difficult than you thought they would be.

Now you work at Taco Bell, and it's embarrassing. You try to play it off like you're fine with it, but really every minute that passes by while you're behind the register eats away at your heart. When you have family gatherings around the holidays, and your uncles and aunts ask you where you're working, you have to say Taco Bell. You give it your best shot to sound enthused, but you just can't utter the tone, and you feel even worse when you're relatives try to sound encouraging, but you can feel the patronization dripping from their tongues as they look awkwardly at your parents, who can only turn their heads in shame.

I understand that.

I really do.

+ Show Spoiler +
BUT WHEN I SAY NO ONIONS ON MY FUCKING BURRITO I DO NOT MEAN CHOP UP A WHOLE FUCKING VIDALIA WANNABE AND SHOVE IT IN MY FOOD!!!! >___<


*
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
Amnesia
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States3818 Posts
May 24 2010 05:19 GMT
#2
haha

Taco Bell is so awesome..BAJA BLAST!!!!
Comeh
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States18919 Posts
May 24 2010 05:20 GMT
#3
If you don't like onions, it might not be taco bell that has problems.
ヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノDELETE ICEFROGヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(
ieatkids5
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United States4628 Posts
May 24 2010 05:21 GMT
#4
i fuckin love onions. also, it's kinda ironic that you don't lol
FragKrag
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States11556 Posts
May 24 2010 05:22 GMT
#5
mOnion eat them

they are good
*TL CJ Entusman #40* "like scissors does anything to paper except MAKE IT MORE NUMEROUS" -paper
Terrakin
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States1440 Posts
May 24 2010 05:24 GMT
#6
what are you talking about night shifts are the best!

so relaxing, and you're always prepped since you never get rushes
Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-24 05:25:48
May 24 2010 05:24 GMT
#7
i do not like raw onions. it is gross bitter shit.

grilled onions are fine because the sugars caramelize. raw onions are shit.

On May 24 2010 14:24 Terrakin wrote:
what are you talking about night shifts are the best!

so relaxing, and you're always prepped since you never get rushes


YOU dont live in a college town. when we go to get TB after a party, anywhere b/w 2 and 4am there is a line all the way around the back of all 3 TB's in town
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
Reborn8u
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States1761 Posts
May 24 2010 05:24 GMT
#8
LMAO sooooo true and funny omg great work!
:)
kcaz
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada387 Posts
May 24 2010 05:27 GMT
#9
thats fucking hilarious, I worked at mcdonalds and its 100% true being behind the register eats away at your sanity, and you cant even play it off like you dont care that you work there
You can't emphasize enough how much you need to be a paradigm shifter. - Ma Jae Yoon
Licmyobelisk
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Philippines3682 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-24 05:36:50
May 24 2010 05:36 GMT
#10
So Ironic that your name is mOnion but you hate Onions :D

raw Onions to be exact
I don't think I've ever wished my opponent good luck prior to a game. When I play, I play to win. I hope every opponent I ever have is cursed with fucking terrible luck. I hope they're stuck playing underneath a stepladder with a black cat in attendance a
IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32277 Posts
May 24 2010 05:37 GMT
#11
hahahah
Moderator<:3-/-<
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
May 24 2010 05:37 GMT
#12
If that spoiler was not there at the end I would not have been satisfied. Taco Bell got 99 problems and your onions aren't one.
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
maareek
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
United States2042 Posts
May 24 2010 05:40 GMT
#13
If they put Vidalias in there, you shouldn't be complaining. Considering you're in Texas, however, I strongly doubt they put in Vidalias. Most likely a version of the Texas Sweets, which are based on the Vidalia but not the same and definitely aren't as bad as a generic white or yellow onion, but certainly are no Vidalia.

I typically hate raw onions, too, but I'd munch a real Vidalia like an apple, man, those things are good.
FrozenArbiter: Obless PvT master
FuJi
Profile Joined January 2008
United States104 Posts
May 24 2010 05:40 GMT
#14
On May 24 2010 14:21 ieatkids5 wrote:
i fuckin love onions. also, it's kinda ironic that you don't lol

do you like onion with your kids? :D
"The basic problem with RTS is that you can build units in real-time."
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
May 24 2010 05:44 GMT
#15
On May 24 2010 14:40 maareek wrote:
If they put Vidalias in there, you shouldn't be complaining. Considering you're in Texas, however, I strongly doubt they put in Vidalias. Most likely a version of the Texas Sweets, which are based on the Vidalia but not the same and definitely aren't as bad as a generic white or yellow onion, but certainly are no Vidalia.

I typically hate raw onions, too, but I'd munch a real Vidalia like an apple, man, those things are good.


i agree I know how good vidalia's are, but i dont think theyre in season right now

i had to use the term vidalia's because in the comic formula the second iteration of a synonym should be at least a different word, preferably more complex.
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
phyren
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States1067 Posts
May 24 2010 05:47 GMT
#16
Dude, forget taco bell. IHOP is the place to be when you're drunk/high in college station. IHOP or Taco C or occasionally Whataburger. You'll run into people you haven't seen in months who are also drunk/high and going for fast food.
Angra
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States2652 Posts
May 24 2010 05:48 GMT
#17
I really want taco bell now
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
May 24 2010 05:49 GMT
#18
On May 24 2010 14:47 phyren wrote:
Dude, forget taco bell. IHOP is the place to be when you're drunk/high in college station. IHOP or Taco C or occasionally Whataburger. You'll run into people you haven't seen in months who are also drunk/high and going for fast food.


holy crap how do you know this? are you here?
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
maareek
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
United States2042 Posts
May 24 2010 05:52 GMT
#19
On May 24 2010 14:44 mOnion wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 24 2010 14:40 maareek wrote:
If they put Vidalias in there, you shouldn't be complaining. Considering you're in Texas, however, I strongly doubt they put in Vidalias. Most likely a version of the Texas Sweets, which are based on the Vidalia but not the same and definitely aren't as bad as a generic white or yellow onion, but certainly are no Vidalia.

I typically hate raw onions, too, but I'd munch a real Vidalia like an apple, man, those things are good.


i agree I know how good vidalia's are, but i dont think theyre in season right now

i had to use the term vidalia's because in the comic formula the second iteration of a synonym should be at least a different word, preferably more complex.


They're fairly early into their season (I have some green ones in the fridge; dried ones are just getting to be plentiful around here now).

"Bulb" should have sufficed, btw, and wouldn't have served as defamatory to an amazing foodstuff!
FrozenArbiter: Obless PvT master
FragKrag
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States11556 Posts
May 24 2010 05:52 GMT
#20
why haven't i seen a single monion joke
*TL CJ Entusman #40* "like scissors does anything to paper except MAKE IT MORE NUMEROUS" -paper
Wr3k
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Canada2533 Posts
May 24 2010 05:55 GMT
#21
Dude if I worked at taco bell I would be as incompetent as possible just to see what I could get away with without being fired. It would be fun.
zobz
Profile Joined November 2005
Canada2175 Posts
May 24 2010 05:56 GMT
#22
I kept looking around for the "but" statement. I kept semi-conciously noticing that spoiler tag and wondering what was in it. I almost left the blog thinking you would leave it on a positive sentiment. Then in passing i saw the red all-caps text, and was like "oh."
"That's not gonna be good for business." "That's not gonna be good for anybody."
kainzero
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States5211 Posts
May 24 2010 05:58 GMT
#23
vidalia? yeah, right.

i bet the onion doesn't even have a varietal name attached to it.
it's just "onion."
JL13
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1384 Posts
May 24 2010 06:01 GMT
#24
This makes me so happy that I live in San Diego. We have awesome 24/7 mexican food.
Favorite Progamers in order: JangBi, Kwanro, Really, DarkElf
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
May 24 2010 06:03 GMT
#25
my mexican food could kick your mexican food's ass.

mexico is literally right there o.o
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
Brett
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Australia3822 Posts
May 24 2010 06:06 GMT
#26
loooooooooool
Mastermind
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Canada7096 Posts
May 24 2010 06:10 GMT
#27
lol great read.
Lexpar
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
1813 Posts
May 24 2010 06:11 GMT
#28
Made me lol at 2 in the morning. For that, you have my thanks.
JL13
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1384 Posts
May 24 2010 06:22 GMT
#29
On May 24 2010 15:03 mOnion wrote:
my mexican food could kick your mexican food's ass.

mexico is literally right there o.o


haha, and yet you go to Taco Bell =). But to be fair, I haven't been to Texas.
Favorite Progamers in order: JangBi, Kwanro, Really, DarkElf
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
May 24 2010 06:31 GMT
#30
On May 24 2010 15:22 JL13 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 24 2010 15:03 mOnion wrote:
my mexican food could kick your mexican food's ass.

mexico is literally right there o.o


haha, and yet you go to Taco Bell =). But to be fair, I haven't been to Texas.


college budget ;_;
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
OmgIRok
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Taiwan2699 Posts
May 24 2010 06:33 GMT
#31
mmm...... onions....
"Wanna join my [combo] clan?" "We play turret d competitively"
Kyuukyuu
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Canada6263 Posts
May 24 2010 06:39 GMT
#32
I thought this would be a bet about Taco Bell vs. IHOP or something
crumunch
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States54 Posts
May 24 2010 06:53 GMT
#33
At least you got food. Showed up once and the people go, "Just so you know, we're out of beef, chicken, and nacho cheese."

FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Come join me in the spiral
Roffles *
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Pitcairn19291 Posts
May 24 2010 06:55 GMT
#34
mOnion don't like Onion.

Weird. =(
God Bless
jindo29
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States29 Posts
May 24 2010 06:59 GMT
#35
mOnion, the comic genius of tl
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
17052 Posts
May 24 2010 07:09 GMT
#36
On May 24 2010 15:31 mOnion wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 24 2010 15:22 JL13 wrote:
On May 24 2010 15:03 mOnion wrote:
my mexican food could kick your mexican food's ass.

mexico is literally right there o.o


haha, and yet you go to Taco Bell =). But to be fair, I haven't been to Texas.


college budget ;_;


Here's one of my college staples that is cheaper per serving, much more healthy, and only requires minimal assembly (not even cooking!):

Ingredients (not exact measures, play around with it to your liking):

Croissant
Canned, drained Tuna (college budget, haha)
Sesame oil
Salt/Pepper
Celery

1. Dice celery into small pieces.
2. Drain the tuna.
3. Assemble everything
4. Put it on a croissant.

If you have a friend with Costco membership, you can buy decent croissants by the dozen for fairly cheap. Canned tuna is great on sale and tastes good, celery is cheap as fuck, you can steal salt/pepper from your food court, and sesame oil is a few dollars for a bottle (and you use maybe 1/100 of an entire bottle per sandwich).

It's also decently low in fat (croissant adds the most), but has a lot of protein and decent vitamins/minerals from the tuna. Celery is just for taste...I suppose it adds a negligible amount of fiber?

Seriously, this takes like 2 minutes to assemble, is much tastier than anything at Taco Bell, and is much better for you as well.

If you want more cheap college kid recipes, just ask. I have tons (lots of them involve sandwich presses and ingredients you can steal from food courts rofl).
Moderator
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
May 24 2010 07:16 GMT
#37
LOL Empyrean^

but please, share more ;]
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
Piste
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
6183 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-24 07:18:15
May 24 2010 07:16 GMT
#38
On May 24 2010 14:52 FragKrag wrote:
why haven't i seen a single monion joke

maybe you can't read?

I always hate those who asks for a special treatment for cheap fastfood. Fast food chains are not doing those tacos or burgers one by one for each individual customer. They are doing them in masses so if you dont want onion go to a proper restaurant and ask for your fucking taco there.
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-24 07:20:23
May 24 2010 07:19 GMT
#39
ehh maybe where you live. If I go to even McDonalds where I live if you order a burger they ask "pickles and onions?" half of the time. FagKrag could use a few reading lessons though lol
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
17052 Posts
May 24 2010 07:21 GMT
#40
On May 24 2010 16:16 Grobyc wrote:
LOL Empyrean^

but please, share more ;]


Hmm, if you can make the investment in one of those sandwich presses (the kind that are like grills...like a panini press. They're not that expensive), you can steal bread from food courts, vegetable ingredients from the salad bar, and just have to buy some freshly sliced cheese from a store (good sandwich cheeses are smoky ones such as Gouda or Havarti) and make yourself a great panini:

It only costs a few dollars because of the cheese.

Ingredients:

Stolen whole-grain sliced bread of some sort (breakfast area)
Stolen spinach or mesclun mix (salad bar)
Stolen cherry tomatoes (cut these in half yourself...salad bar)
Stolen cut zucchini (salad bar)
Stolen mushrooms (salad bar)
Stolen cut peppers (salad bar)
Good cheese (buy this, rofl).
Butter (might be able to steal this if your food court has those little butter pats).

1. Butter the outside of the bread, and assemble ingredients into the inside of the sandwich.
2. If you can't figure this out you're fucking stupid.

Yeah a lot of these involve stolen food and basic assembly skills.

If you're paying $50k a year you sure as hell better get something out of school (besides a network and a degree).
Moderator
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
17052 Posts
May 24 2010 07:23 GMT
#41
On May 24 2010 16:19 Grobyc wrote:
ehh maybe where you live. If I go to even McDonalds where I live if you order a burger they ask "pickles and onions?" half of the time. FagKrag could use a few reading lessons though lol


McDonalds always assumes pickles and onions here.

Also the one on campus doesn't even have a dollar menu because most of the kids who go here are offensively rich (think trust fund kids ish) and couldn't care less because food points come on your student ID and you can easily go to the golf club and spend six hundred dollars on food with your friends in one meal. All on food points, of course.

The only cool thing they have going (besides being open 24 hours) is the nuggbucket, which is a bucket of fifty chicken nuggets. Epic drunk food.
Moderator
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-24 07:27:59
May 24 2010 07:23 GMT
#42
On May 24 2010 16:16 Piste wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 24 2010 14:52 FragKrag wrote:
why haven't i seen a single monion joke

maybe you can't read?

I always hate those who asks for a special treatment for cheap fastfood. Fast food chains are not doing those tacos or burgers one by one for each individual customer. They are doing them in masses so if you dont want onion go to a proper restaurant and ask for your fucking taco there.


burrito

also i work at a fast-food like joint ( like a subway) and i always make stuff as annoyingly as people ask me
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26782 Posts
May 24 2010 07:33 GMT
#43
>.>
<.<
v.v
^.^
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
17052 Posts
May 24 2010 07:35 GMT
#44
On May 24 2010 16:23 mOnion wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 24 2010 16:16 Piste wrote:
On May 24 2010 14:52 FragKrag wrote:
why haven't i seen a single monion joke

maybe you can't read?

I always hate those who asks for a special treatment for cheap fastfood. Fast food chains are not doing those tacos or burgers one by one for each individual customer. They are doing them in masses so if you dont want onion go to a proper restaurant and ask for your fucking taco there.


burrito

also i work at a fast-food like joint ( like a subway) and i always make stuff as annoyingly as people ask me


As marginal as it may be, however, there -is- a difference in expected service between chains such as Taco Bell and chains such as Chipotle.

Going to sleep now <_<
Moderator
selboN
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States2523 Posts
May 24 2010 08:13 GMT
#45
Don't fuck with mOnion's food yo.
"That's what happens when you're using a mouse made out of glass!" -Tasteless (Referring to ZergBong)
zerglingsfolife
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States1694 Posts
May 24 2010 08:16 GMT
#46
LOL. I love drunk food. In Austin they just put in a Whataburger right next to campus 2 weeks ago. It has been completely packed at every time of the day with the driveway packed into the street. Seriously, it was packed at 4:30 AM on Saturday O_O.
Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crown and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness.
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
May 24 2010 08:19 GMT
#47
On May 24 2010 16:35 Empyrean wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 24 2010 16:23 mOnion wrote:
On May 24 2010 16:16 Piste wrote:
On May 24 2010 14:52 FragKrag wrote:
why haven't i seen a single monion joke

maybe you can't read?

I always hate those who asks for a special treatment for cheap fastfood. Fast food chains are not doing those tacos or burgers one by one for each individual customer. They are doing them in masses so if you dont want onion go to a proper restaurant and ask for your fucking taco there.


burrito

also i work at a fast-food like joint ( like a subway) and i always make stuff as annoyingly as people ask me


As marginal as it may be, however, there -is- a difference in expected service between chains such as Taco Bell and chains such as Chipotle.

Going to sleep now <_<


true
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
orgolove
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Vatican City State1650 Posts
May 24 2010 08:34 GMT
#48
That looks delicious. Which burrito has onions in it? I only eat the cheapest ones so I don't have the luxury of eating fresh vegetables in my food.
초대 갓, 이영호 | First God, Lee Young Ho
R0YAL
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States1768 Posts
May 24 2010 09:04 GMT
#49
On May 24 2010 14:36 Licmyobelisk wrote:
So Ironic that your name is mOnion but you hate Onions :D

raw Onions to be exact

if he ate onions it would be cannibalism o.o
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
nayumi
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Australia6499 Posts
May 24 2010 09:47 GMT
#50
lol made my day ..
Sugoi monogatari onii-chan!
Bill Murray
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States9292 Posts
May 24 2010 09:53 GMT
#51
On May 24 2010 14:20 Comeh wrote:
If you don't like onions, it might not be taco bell that has problems.

University of Kentucky Basketball #1
sob3k
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States7572 Posts
May 24 2010 13:23 GMT
#52
BAJA BLAAAST!!!!!
In Hungry Hungry Hippos there are no such constraints—one can constantly attempt to collect marbles with one’s hippo, limited only by one’s hippo-levering capabilities.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32130 Posts
May 24 2010 14:25 GMT
#53
what kind of nazi doesnt like onions on a taco
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
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