Disclaimer: I'm not using my family members actual names.
So, today started off as a typical Sunday. I was picked up by my Aunt Jane and my Uncle Jack last night, as usual. Jane and Jack are my sisters adoptive parents (I explained this situation in a previous blog) as well as the adoptive parents of a little boy, Omar.
So, I go to church with them on Sunday morning, despite being a very confident atheist. It's better than being bored alone at home. I help the little kids and play with them rather than attend the actual service. So, things were normal. There is a little girl from a foster home, Lily, and I should probably explain my relation to her.
A while ago, when Jack and Jane first adopted Omar, they also became the foster parents of this girl Lily. She had severe problems (hyperactivity and mood swings, as well as many learning disabilities) and my Uncle Jack tried his best to be a father to her. Unfortunately, her tantrums drove my Aunt to a nervous breakdown and she had physically hurt Omar multiple times when he was an infant. She had to be returned to the foster home. This has given my Uncle Jack severe feelings of guilt and he watches her every Sunday, she still considers him her father.
So, since my Uncle/Aunt are very busy as of late, I spend most of my Sunday watching her. I watched her at the church and played games with her. Around 11:30 am, we went to Penera's for lunch.
On our way back to the house, there was a motorcycle accident. A terrible one. A man and his girlfriend were on a Harley going down a hill too fast. He slammed the back breaks and everything went wrong. He fell off mostly unharmed, but his girlfriend was flung into the air. Her helmet came loose and went airborne. Her head hit the pavement and burst open like a watermelon.
My aunt went nuts. She screamed to pull over, to call 911, she wanted to help them. My uncle went nuts.
"You're an idiot, you aren't a fucking medical professional, we'll call the police but we aren't getting in their damn way!"
"Why won't you help them! I'm getting out of the car! Don't tell me to shut up!"
They yelled loudly at eachother like this the entire way home, their argument making the children cry on top of the horrific scene they had witnessed. I took the kids upstairs, they sat on my lap and watched spongebob. I put it on extra loud to drown out the fighting.
I was still reeling from the shock of seeing someone die in front of my eyes. All-in-all, today was very stressful.
I should have added this in, but we found traffic cops on the next block and directed them toward the accident.
Also, Spongebob is really good at making kids stop crying. The kids couldn't see all the blood from where they were sitting, so I told them the girl looked like she was hurt but not too bad. In reality, I'd be shocked if she hadn't died instantly.
I had a very similar incident. I was driving probably 2 years ago on a road that I drove very commonly on and there was a bizarre but terrible accident. It was a flipped over jeep with shattered glass everywhere and you could see a pool of blood coming out from the sunroof. There was a man half-stuck under the car and a woman dead on the side of the road. It was strange though because there were no other cars, and the road was completely flat and the area was very peaceful it seemed really out of place. I ended up calling the cops and waited for them to arrive, but yeah your story just reminded me of that, minus all the family stuff.
You are a kind and patient person [ to the kids ] for putting up with everything in addition to the accident.
Uncle kinda sounds like a douche. Probably nothing could have been done, but there is never anything wrong with seeing if you can do anything to help until the paramedics arrive.
On January 25 2010 14:18 Bosu wrote: Uncle kinda sounds like a douche. Probably nothing could have been done, but there is never anything wrong with seeing if you can do anything to help until the paramedics arrive.
He is. He overreacted.
But if he didn't do something, my crazy idiot aunt would have ran out of the car and fucked everything up and gotten in the way of the accident. He didn't need to be so aggressive, especially in front of the children, but he did the right thing in the end.
That's pretty traumatizing; reminds me of the time when I was 8, and just a giddy, complacent little asian boy sqirming in my seat as my parents drove me to piano lessons. We stopped at an intersection and this woman driving a minivan was rammed by a man driving a jeep at approximately 50 miles an hour. The woman's minivan spun out in circles and hit our car;she was pregnant and carried out in a stretcher, and the paramedics at the scene were worried if the baby was alive or not.
I saw a near-death scene, and a lot of the bystanders were deciding whether to help or not.
In south korea, there is this place near a waterfall where there are a lot of wide, smooth rocks. So people take off their sandals, walk around hear, some even try to swim around.
But this one guy ends up getting trapped in this crevice where the water for some reason is very much faster than in the other places, and he ended up turning in endless circles.
he was probably gonna drown at this rate; me and my bro were going to go help him, but then our parents reacted just like your uncle (albeit in their defense they were worried that we might get trapped too) and wouldn't let us go. very soon after the friend of the man went and dragged him out with the help of two others.
i wonder if most parents react like that to these kinds of situations/
On January 25 2010 14:30 micronesia wrote: Good luck with the recovery of you and your family. Don't hesitate to see a counselor or other professional if possible to discuss the events.
I was actually more upset with the arguing than the death itself. I guess I had no time to really think about it because I spent the entire time trying to ignore my aunt and uncle arguing and keep the kids calm for the rest of the day.
On January 25 2010 14:30 micronesia wrote: Good luck with the recovery of you and your family. Don't hesitate to see a counselor or other professional if possible to discuss the events.
I was actually more upset with the arguing than the death itself. I guess I had no time to really think about it because I spent the entire time trying to ignore my aunt and uncle arguing and keep the kids calm for the rest of the day.
Well my opinion is the same. Anything that drives you to these feelings is something that you should consider addressing.
I feel really bad for that motorcycler, christ. I would imagine: Closed casket funeral + girlfriends parents/friends/family raging at him + a lifetime of what if's.
i was present when my great grandmother died, but that was a "stop breathing and pass on peacefully" kind of death, not a "head burst open like a watermelon" thing. Hope you and the kids will be alright.
Holy crap dude, I get all sideways when I see people being dumbasses on the bus, you saw someone die.
I did flip my car 2 weeks ago and almost died (landed in coming traffic), but for some reason I'm pretty disaffected from fear or worry. Apathy is a beautiful thing
On January 25 2010 14:18 Bosu wrote: Uncle kinda sounds like a douche. Probably nothing could have been done, but there is never anything wrong with seeing if you can do anything to help until the paramedics arrive.
He is. He overreacted.
But if he didn't do something, my crazy idiot aunt would have ran out of the car and fucked everything up and gotten in the way of the accident. He didn't need to be so aggressive, especially in front of the children, but he did the right thing in the end.
Agreed here.
Also, DoctorHelvetica, I don't know I'm just having reading problems or something but it sounds like you're trying to justify your aunt beating Omar the infant with the fact that the other girl had temper tantrums. That is several layers of fucked up right there. I don't know if I read that correctly. It's 3am right now.
Sorry that you had to see something like that. Seeing a girl's head split open like a watermelon... Jesus Christ. This is why, when I get my scooter I will 100% of the time insist that my passengers wear a full face helmet and that I instruct them on how to put it on correctly. I always cringe when I see people with pretty much hats on their heads in place of a real full face helmet. It doesn't matter if you're just going going around the corner to buy something.... Do people really think death will strike them only if their commute is greater than 1km?
i am incredible scared of cars, it's almost a phobia but they're just so mandatory. probably a bit irrational yeah, but i've never gotten over the fact that everyone is going so fast in tons of metal, with the only thing keeping it all together is other drivers not messing up and some yellow/white lines
yea fuck i got my license and i still haven't driven yet maybe im just an inexperienced driver but there's all this crap to look out for all the time especially in HK, its not wide open roads everywhere like america.
On January 25 2010 17:11 intrigue wrote: i am incredible scared of cars, it's almost a phobia but they're just so mandatory. probably a bit irrational yeah, but i've never gotten over the fact that everyone is going so fast in tons of metal, with the only thing keeping it all together is other drivers not messing up and some yellow/white lines
I don't think you're being irrational at all. Head on collision at 40 mph, an average speed for a straight, two-lane local road, is like instant death. And that situation only requires one person to fuck up. I think car accidents are the number one cause of death in the US that's not medical related (eg cancer, heart disease).
On January 25 2010 17:11 intrigue wrote: i am incredible scared of cars, it's almost a phobia but they're just so mandatory. probably a bit irrational yeah, but i've never gotten over the fact that everyone is going so fast in tons of metal, with the only thing keeping it all together is other drivers not messing up and some yellow/white lines
Yeh i feel exactly the same. I don't ever intend to drive myself and everytime i get into a car with someone else im basically entrusting my life to them and when they start to do things like fiddle whilst driving etc i get really nervous and whine at them. I've never been in a car accident and i intend to keep it that way.
On January 25 2010 14:30 micronesia wrote: Good luck with the recovery of you and your family. Don't hesitate to see a counselor or other professional if possible to discuss the events.
I was actually more upset with the arguing than the death itself. I guess I had no time to really think about it because I spent the entire time trying to ignore my aunt and uncle arguing and keep the kids calm for the rest of the day.
You're right. There's really no point in arguing at a point like that. And if there is any arguing it shouldn't be about going out.
On January 25 2010 14:18 Bosu wrote: Uncle kinda sounds like a douche. Probably nothing could have been done, but there is never anything wrong with seeing if you can do anything to help until the paramedics arrive.
He is. He overreacted.
But if he didn't do something, my crazy idiot aunt would have ran out of the car and fucked everything up and gotten in the way of the accident. He didn't need to be so aggressive, especially in front of the children, but he did the right thing in the end.
Agreed here.
Also, DoctorHelvetica, I don't know I'm just having reading problems or something but it sounds like you're trying to justify your aunt beating Omar the infant with the fact that the other girl had temper tantrums. That is several layers of fucked up right there. I don't know if I read that correctly. It's 3am right now.
Sorry that you had to see something like that. Seeing a girl's head split open like a watermelon... Jesus Christ. This is why, when I get my scooter I will 100% of the time insist that my passengers wear a full face helmet and that I instruct them on how to put it on correctly. I always cringe when I see people with pretty much hats on their heads in place of a real full face helmet. It doesn't matter if you're just going going around the corner to buy something.... Do people really think death will strike them only if their commute is greater than 1km?
That must've been soul killing for the BF.
No. The girl witht he temper tantrums beat up Omar the infant. She bit him in his crib and such.
On January 26 2010 01:25 Draconizard wrote: Bleh, I never saw the appeal in motorcycles. The dramatic decrease in safety tends to overshadow just about any of its advantages.
Motorcycles' fuel efficiency advantage over cars is pretty significant, but I personally would not risk my own life for that. I have a couple friends who are interested in getting motorcycles in the future for this. If I were religious I'd pray for them in the case that they do.
I also agree with people who are wary of cars in general. I've already almost killed myself on the highway twice, and I've only been driving for about 4 years. Honestly they were both my mistakes, and that makes the issue even more harrowing: you can't trust yourself to be a good driver; that'll only invite complacency.
Anyways mad props to DH for staying calm with the children. I'm against lying, but I'm sure you had good reasons. Not to be a dick, but try not to stress too much about this. There are too many tragedies for them all to be mourned.
On January 25 2010 14:18 Bosu wrote: Uncle kinda sounds like a douche. Probably nothing could have been done, but there is never anything wrong with seeing if you can do anything to help until the paramedics arrive.
He is. He overreacted.
But if he didn't do something, my crazy idiot aunt would have ran out of the car and fucked everything up and gotten in the way of the accident. He didn't need to be so aggressive, especially in front of the children, but he did the right thing in the end.
Agreed here.
Also, DoctorHelvetica, I don't know I'm just having reading problems or something but it sounds like you're trying to justify your aunt beating Omar the infant with the fact that the other girl had temper tantrums. That is several layers of fucked up right there. I don't know if I read that correctly. It's 3am right now.
Sorry that you had to see something like that. Seeing a girl's head split open like a watermelon... Jesus Christ. This is why, when I get my scooter I will 100% of the time insist that my passengers wear a full face helmet and that I instruct them on how to put it on correctly. I always cringe when I see people with pretty much hats on their heads in place of a real full face helmet. It doesn't matter if you're just going going around the corner to buy something.... Do people really think death will strike them only if their commute is greater than 1km?
That must've been soul killing for the BF.
No. The girl witht he temper tantrums beat up Omar the infant. She bit him in his crib and such.
I thought so.... Reading comprehension problems :D
There's nothing your aunt or uncle could of done but gotten in the way. Leaving was the right decision especially with young children in the car, staying on such a traumatizing scene with them would not of be a good idea.
EPT
. Sometimes life just ends unexpectantly. 
