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Blogs > Chef
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Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-12-24 07:57:49
October 14 2009 17:24 GMT
#1
Everybody here has dreams. We constantly look to the next day for our big break, when we can move up in the world and call ourselves successful. Most of us just want to become a Spawning Pool, or even a Creep Colony. Some shoot higher, thinking they ought to be an Ultralisk Cavern or a Defiler Mound. Others want to travel, maybe become a Hatchery some place secluded. We all want out of this.

We're fed, we're kept warm, we're protected. All of our necessities are provided.

But it's not enough for any of us. The constant circle we walk, going to minerals, mining minerals, going back to the hatchery is not what any of us want in the end. I know because I've talked to the other Drones. We all know each other by acquaintance of our living. But we also all know one other Drone better than any other. That's because of the buddy system.

You don't get to choose your buddy in the Drone line. Not really. You go with the first Drone you meet, and you're stuck with them for as long as you mine. It's important to have a buddy, you can't survive in this world without one. They tell us in the event of an attack, we substantially increase our chances of survival by having a buddy. That's because in the monotonous grind of mining, the hope is at least one of you is conscious.

My Drone buddy's name is Dronaldo. We were hatched at the same time on 9 supply, so there was no doubt we'd be partnered. He wasn't a great looking Drone, but he wasn't a bad looking Drone either. Maybe with a lighter shade of blue on his carapace he'd have been sent to be a Hatchery right away. But then, that was true of all of us. We were all rejects in some way. Most of us didn't take it as hard as Donaldo did though.

On the outside, most people could tell Dronaldo was no good. He was constantly rude to everyone, and never had anything pleasant to say. I, who knew him better than any, could attest this was never untrue. I knew even worse about Dronaldo than that. I knew he was sick. He was bitter about the life he'd been born into, and he hated everyone. Sometimes when we heard stories about great battles that were fought, they'd involve Drone drills and many causalities. He'd tell me he wish he were one of those casualties. He was always so morbid.

Sometimes I'd get complaints from Zergs he'd been rude to. Other mining Drones, but also Zerglings and Hydralisks that had been guarding us. I hated when he upset Zerglings and Hydralisks... I had to reason with them, apologising for Donaldo's behaviour. I'd tell them he didn't mean it, he just gets a little depressed sometimes. But I knew he did. He always meant it.

Reaver and Marine attacks aren't uncommon on the Drone line. It's the main reason we have a buddy system. It used to be that Dronaldo ran just as hard as I did when they came. But each successive time we've been attacked, he's gotten slower and slower. He's started telling me he wish he'd died in that attack. He tells me he wants to die, but he can't. Can't bring himself to just let go like that. "I'm tired of life and I'm afraid to die."

Now I usually have to drag him away during attacks. He hobbles behind me, but he has no will. I try to cheer him up sometimes. I tell him at least we have food and shelter right now. That if we keep reaching we'll eventually make it. But he's unconvinced. More and more he tells me that it's impossible. That he's going to be stuck in this merry go round forever, and nothing is ever going to change or get better. What's the point of eating everyday if you never go anywhere. What's the point of anything. He tells me he wishes he was dead for the 10,000th time.

One morning we were attacked. The Hatchery we'd been living with died, and we had all had to run to the edge of the base. The intruders had been killed off, and we were told to proceed to another Hatchery for duties. It was the final straw for Dronaldo. He told me he was done. There would be no more for him. He was getting off this merry go round and nothing would stop him. He asked me to kill him. "I'm not good to anybody. Even you say I get you down." I thought of stories I was once told. Stories about Lurkers who'd been irradiated and were doomed to suffer. That to have mercy on these Lurkers, Defilers had consumed them. I killed Dronaldo.

****
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
DreaM)XeRO
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Korea (South)4667 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-10-14 17:28:14
October 14 2009 17:28 GMT
#2
ahahhahahahahaa. this is sooo cute ^^

Proberto + Dronaldo = WIN
cw)minsean(ru
CommanderFluffy
Profile Joined June 2008
Taiwan1059 Posts
October 14 2009 17:30 GMT
#3
5/5
Dark as shit but:
Very creative, well written, good read.
Pain is temporary, but glory is forever.
pH)ggbOy
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Philippines142 Posts
October 14 2009 17:33 GMT
#4
Genius!
ファイナルファンタジ
kidd
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
United States2848 Posts
October 14 2009 17:40 GMT
#5
There is very few times I like to read starcraft stories or hear starcraft related jokes in un-starcraft threads but this was super fucking clever.

Well done man.
Hi
ddengster
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Singapore129 Posts
October 14 2009 17:43 GMT
#6
Nice story!
We should have a section dedicated to these starcraft stories.
Check out NEO Impossible Bosses, RTS-MOBA boss rush at http://neoimpossiblebosses.coder-ddeng.com
deconduo
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Ireland4122 Posts
October 14 2009 17:43 GMT
#7
5/5 really good read
Ingenol
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1328 Posts
October 14 2009 17:43 GMT
#8
Hahahahaha. What a victory.
ZeroCartin
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Costa Rica2390 Posts
October 14 2009 17:44 GMT
#9
Amazing, I just wanna know how ur gonna name the scv
"My sister is on vacation in Costa Rica right now. I hope she stays a while because she's a miserable cunt." -pubbanana
Orome
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Switzerland11984 Posts
October 14 2009 17:45 GMT
#10
hahahaha awesome
On a purely personal note, I'd like to show Yellow the beauty of infinitely repeating Starcraft 2 bunkers. -Boxer
HeaDStrong
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Scotland785 Posts
October 14 2009 17:45 GMT
#11
so for how long did you have to spit on dronaldo until he finally died?
ShaperofDreams
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada2492 Posts
October 14 2009 18:16 GMT
#12
Hahaha Euthanasia Dronaldo...

Bitches don't know about my overlord. FUCK OFF ALDARIS I HAVE ENOUGH PYLONS. My Balls are as smooth as Eggs.
Ideas
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
United States8174 Posts
October 14 2009 18:19 GMT
#13
I love you chef
Free Palestine
besiger
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
Croatia2452 Posts
October 14 2009 18:19 GMT
#14
story of my life
Rip dronaldo
A weak will coupled with delusions of grandeur
da_head
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada3350 Posts
October 14 2009 18:23 GMT
#15
5/5

T___T so sad *sniffle*

u should have mentioned storm drops
When they see MC Probe, all the ladies disrobe.
Husky
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States3362 Posts
October 14 2009 18:26 GMT
#16
dronaldo was an ass and deserved what he got
Commentaries: youtube.com/HuskyStarcraft
ForTheSwarm
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States556 Posts
October 14 2009 18:26 GMT
#17
Ha ha ha ha. Keep these up, these are epic!
Whenever I see a dropship, my asshole tingles, because it knows whats coming... - TheAntZ
dataXploit
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Canada81 Posts
October 14 2009 18:26 GMT
#18
omg chef ur a genius of a writer. <3
Holgerius
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Sweden16951 Posts
October 14 2009 18:27 GMT
#19
Good read. :D
I believe in the almighty Grötslev! -- I am never serious and you should never believe a thing I say. Including the previous sentence.
MooCow
Profile Joined September 2008
1434 Posts
October 14 2009 18:27 GMT
#20
sad and funny at the same time
emo drones ftw
Making history not reliving it.
Boblion
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
France8043 Posts
October 14 2009 18:28 GMT
#21
Awesome <3
fuck all those elitists brb watching streams of elite players.
andiCR
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Costa Rica2273 Posts
October 14 2009 18:30 GMT
#22
GOD DAMNIT I LOVE YOU CHEF hahahha this made my day
Nightmare1795 wrote: I played a guy in bronze who said he was Japanese. That was the only game I ever dropped a nuke, which was purely coincidental.
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
October 14 2009 18:40 GMT
#23
On October 15 2009 03:26 HuskyTheHusky wrote:
dronaldo was an ass and deserved what he got

TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
Alur
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Denmark3900 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-10-14 18:46:52
October 14 2009 18:46 GMT
#24
Nice read, i think deep inside Dronaldo was a scourge. Also:
It was the final straw for Donaldo.
AKA No can Dazzle | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlTpX7z3Pok
TL+ Member
Misrah
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States1695 Posts
October 14 2009 18:55 GMT
#25
great read!

this is for all the drones that i have not made into defiler mounds <3
A thread vaguely bashing SC2? SWARM ON, LOW POST COUNT BRETHREN! DEFEND THE GLORIOUS GAME THAT IS OUR LIVELIHOOD
Rice
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States1332 Posts
October 14 2009 18:56 GMT
#26
simply amazing.
Freedom will be defended at the cost of civil liberties.
Try
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
United States1293 Posts
October 14 2009 18:56 GMT
#27
On October 15 2009 02:44 ZeroCartin wrote:
Amazing, I just wanna know how ur gonna name the scv


Deshaun Johnson.

or HovZ.
LordWeird
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States3411 Posts
October 14 2009 18:59 GMT
#28
Rayquon Ramone Jackson Junior.
Chains none
MiniRoman
Profile Blog Joined September 2003
Canada3953 Posts
October 14 2009 19:16 GMT
#29
Lol nice story. I like the writing too.
Nak Allstar.
Railxp
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Hong Kong1313 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-10-14 19:28:06
October 14 2009 19:24 GMT
#30
lol for a moment i thought it would be about how everyone runs the 9-5 rat race corporate ladder and few make it to the top ,and that this was just written in the metaphor of starcraft, but then it got too specific.

Btw: I nominate Scvarlo
~\(。◕‿‿◕。)/~,,,,,,,,>
disco
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Netherlands1667 Posts
October 14 2009 20:15 GMT
#31
That was entertaining lol.
this game is a fucking jokie
ryuu_
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States1266 Posts
October 14 2009 20:21 GMT
#32
Awesome stuff. I love reading your stories, they're so creative xD
♣ Jaedong. Stork. Bisu. Calm. NaDa. SC2: Sen, MKP, DRG, MMA, Grubby, NonY, Ret, Jinro, TLO, Sheth, HayprO, Zenio,Taeja,Snute, Sea, Rain, MC,Squirtle,Stephano,Parting ,Life, and HEROOOOO <3
Vekzel
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
Poland142 Posts
October 14 2009 20:34 GMT
#33
Clever stuff man, but since poor Dronaldo was so tired of running away...

+ Show Spoiler +
...maybe he should beg Cerebrate to research Burrow?
#1 Stork Fan II RET FIGHTING!!! II Nal_rA, Calm, UpMaGiC: GL 2U! II sAviOr: recover PLZ!
uglymoose89
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States671 Posts
October 14 2009 21:00 GMT
#34
o man, now i will feel bad whenever i attk the drone line T.T
Kaniol
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Poland5551 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-10-14 21:21:42
October 14 2009 21:21 GMT
#35
My oh my, this is a piece of art. Gotta love this community, thanks for great read
d3_crescentia
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States4054 Posts
October 14 2009 21:24 GMT
#36
woooooooooooow this was really good

totally did not expect that ending
once, not long ago, there was a moon here
gumbum8
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States721 Posts
October 14 2009 21:33 GMT
#37
On October 15 2009 06:00 uglymoose89 wrote:
o man, now i will feel bad whenever i attk the drone line T.T

you should consider giving donaldo's buddy a break then XD
but really, has anyone REALLY been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
Virtuoso
Profile Joined December 2008
United States119 Posts
October 14 2009 21:45 GMT
#38
very smartly written
fan of the top 3 terrans Flash Fantasy leta GOGO TERRANS
SirGlinG
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Sweden933 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-10-14 22:01:54
October 14 2009 22:00 GMT
#39
I like u chef

Edit; not the first time i say it, hopefully not the last time. Just don't run out of Dronaldo, Proberto names until Sc2 comes.
Cheers man
Not my chair. Not my problem. That's what I say
evanthebouncy!
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States12796 Posts
October 14 2009 22:43 GMT
#40
Dammmit I'll drone drill every time so all drones shall live in battle glory!
Life is run, it is dance, it is fast, passionate and BAM!, you dance and sing and booze while you can for now is the time and time is mine. Smile and laugh when still can for now is the time and soon you die!
evanthebouncy!
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States12796 Posts
October 14 2009 22:43 GMT
#41
i think u meant dronebabo?
Life is run, it is dance, it is fast, passionate and BAM!, you dance and sing and booze while you can for now is the time and time is mine. Smile and laugh when still can for now is the time and soon you die!
dekuschrub
Profile Joined May 2008
United States2069 Posts
October 14 2009 23:03 GMT
#42
yesss the cries for dronaldo have been answered!

epicccc

SCV SCV SCV

Sean Carlos Vertonicci or some shitlolollol
dekuschrub
Profile Joined May 2008
United States2069 Posts
October 14 2009 23:03 GMT
#43
OH HELL YES ITS ALMOST MY BIRTHDAY!!!
FragKrag
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States11567 Posts
October 14 2009 23:08 GMT
#44
lol dronaldo
*TL CJ Entusman #40* "like scissors does anything to paper except MAKE IT MORE NUMEROUS" -paper
BanZu
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States3329 Posts
October 14 2009 23:10 GMT
#45
YOU MURDERER!!!
Sun Tzu once said, "Defiler becomes useless at the presences of a vessel."
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