Happy Birthday evanthebouncy!

Please do not have a horrifying day even though you slipped out of your mothers wet bleeding vagina and escaped the womb into the arms of a stranger. You could have died that day. If she didn't want you she could have squeezed the life from you with her powerful vag or fallen down a flight of stairs. Be thankful she was merciful enough for you to have lived through that terrible day when you came out a whiny crying bitch covered in the most disgusting mix of fluids. An uncoordinated little monster screaming and swinging his awkward little arms around covered in filth. A grotesque sight for all. Be happy this birth giver saw more in you than that, little monster, and loved you from the start. That you were special to someone the moment you came into this world even as disgusting as you were. That's a powerful message. Appreciate this life you have been given. Take this day and celebrate it.

You may want to down some drinks to blur the images I have instilled in your head of your mother, head back, legs wide, sweating and painfully squeezing you out & cursing the man who did this to her. Her oozing swollen vag tired and sore from the tearing sensation you gave her. Yeah, I'd have a few drinks if I were you.