Dealing with rape

The thing is though, it really wasn’t even my fault and I still feel so guilty.

On February 22 2009 12:47 tdotkrayz wrote:
What should I do? I really don’t know where to turn now. I can’t talk to my family, or friends about this and I really don’t go anywhere else online. Sorry if this is the wrong place to talk about this. I can’t believe how much life’s changed since it happened last week… I tried to run away from my problems by posting on teamliquid and playing starcraft but I just don’t feel the same anymore. To cut a long story short, here’s what happened.

Me and my buddies at Theta Chi were having a standard Thursday night. (Classes at my college end at Thursdays instead of Fridays) We were getting wasted at this huge party and started hitting on these chicks. We all had gf’s but you know how these things work. One of them in particular was giving us lots of hints so we all got excited and shit and were hoping for a gang bang or something. I mean, she wasn’t even that hot but she was like a solid 7.5/8 and we all hadn’t been laid in like a month so we were horny as hell. But then, after chatting with us for like 15 minutes, I made a move and got shot down. After subsequent failures from all 4 of use, we knew she was just a tease and Matt pulled some roofies out of his pocket. Now, at first, I really didn’t want to go through with this but after thinking it through, I thought the bitch probably deserved it so I went along with it too and we managed to slip some into her tequila. So after we carried her out, we decided to do her in my room since it was the closest to the party. Matt went first, then me, then the others. I didn’t really know what to expect but it definitely wasn’t like everyone says. I mean, the girl isn’t like knocked out or anything. They’re just immobilized. It’s like they’re really hammered in a way, but they’re a little more sluggish so you have to do a bit more work. So after a good amount of thrusting, I decided to stick it in her ass since I never tried that before. Let me say, it was a sublime experience. Now, I didn’t really leave any marks afterwards cuz I was careful and didn’t get too rough but the two guys that went after me left her body an utter mess. Matt said she was a virgin but I didn’t see any blood so I’m gonna have to assume he was just trying to impress us. After we were finished, we took her to the bathroom and cleaned her up a bit (It was hard cuz we had to make sure no one saw us). Then, we took her back to the party and threw her onto a sofa somewhere. So anyways, slept soundly that night. No big deal for me. But later, the next day in my Accounting class, I realized that she was actually in my class and she wasn’t there that day. I’m not gonna lie. I laughed to myself for a good bit while thinking she was probably too tired to get up lol. But after that, I never saw her in class again and I started getting nervous. What if she got seriously hurt? I started getting really guilty feelings and couldn’t even focus in class anymore. I couldn’t concentrate when I spent time with my gf and could only think about that night. Later, I heard from some friends that she was preparing to press charges against us. I really really don’t know what to do right now. My gf broke up with me, my friends aren’t even sticking by me, and I really don’t want to know what my parents will do when they find out. I mean aren’t girls usually supposed to keep quiet about something like this? I’m so fucking angry, guilty, and confused at the same time. I really don’t know what to do anymore. Should I go talk to her? No, because then I’ll probably get in even more trouble. Should I deny everything? Possibly. The thing is though, it really wasn’t even my fault and I still feel so guilty. I didn’t even slip the roofies in her drink and I didn’t start the situation I just followed along with everyone else. I mean come one, wtf was I supposed to do? They’ll think I’m a pussy if I don’t. So I’ve been told by a bunch of people I talked to that I might even go to jail. Fuck my life. I never ever thought I would ever end up in a situation like this and I really need your advice. What should I do? What would be the best thing to say to her to calm her down? I know I should apologize but I feel that would just make the situation worse.

On February 22 2009 12:55 CyuntiyuL wrote:
is this a joke? how can you even begin to think this "isn't your fault?"

i think you're more of a pussy for succumbing to peer pressure than your friends would have thought if you backed out.