VSL S2 Grand Finals Preview

VSL S2 Grand Finals Preview - Page 2

DSK

England1110 Posts

July 06 2017 19:13 GMT

#21

Perhaps this time soO play like he has nothing to lose, though there is arguably more pressure on the Machine to retain his dominance.

I live in hope soO, don't let this chance go to waste my boy.

Kazi25

Philippines236 Posts

July 07 2017 03:41 GMT

#22

soO つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

Ishmael

92 Posts

July 07 2017 12:34 GMT

#23

Mizenhauer, I've enjoyed reading your previews, particularly in light of the "choosing writing" post you had, and in the relatively brief time I've been on TL it's been good to see you pick up more coverage. Really, I mean it, and I want to congratulate you. Maybe this doesn't mean very much from a random TL user, but if it does, than I give it freely and with good spirit. However, I'd also like to note, in the gentlest way possible, a couple of things I've noticed. Chief among them is an overuse of adjectives and adverbs. This is a classic early writing foible. Lines like "a mere computer game," "absolute certainty," "teeming crowd," when laid against each other, build an impression of a kind of artificial, over the top, and ultimately false dramatization. I think some of the word choice, like 'lest,' reads a little green in the same way. I find it slightly distracting, a little self conscious -- brought me out of the hype a bit. The stories of these players are exciting in their own right! Overplaying your hand makes that excitement feel less organic.

Anyway, take those for what you will!I've published a few pieces of fiction in various levels of magazine, and I've taken lots of creative writing classes in respected programs, if credentials matter here, but I hope that what I wrote is useful enough that they don't. Cheers, and I hope to have you continue to take over TL : )

Bub

United States3518 Posts

July 09 2017 00:54 GMT

#24

Nice write up! (cheers)

Gets me pumped up!

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