EPTCraving to Cuddle: Understanding Zerg
{Edit: extra picture at the bottom from Raleigh!
Edit: And another!}
There have been many a thread about “Why do you play the race you play?” and there are all sorts of good reasons. The Units. The Flavor. The Playstyle. That’s all great and wonderful, but that’s not why I play Zerg. Why do I play Zerg? Because I like to cuddle. Now I know all the Terran and Protoss players are guffawing and chortling and think it’s all very funny. But this isn’t about you. This is about us Zergs and about how we like to – nay, need to – cuddle. Hopefully I can help all the Terran and Protoss players understand us Zerg players more and we can all have a better community for it.
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/uploads/lmmhwmiaxc_small.png)
The most cuddly of all units is the baneling, which I think almost all players understand. They’re creatures are constantly made fun of on the playground for being bulbous and fat. They need a hug. And of course once they get a hug they become so happy that they explode! Into toxic metal-shearing acid. I understand why Terrans and Protosses don’t really see them that way. They see banelings and they want to run. They want them to get away.
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/ooxlyvfqmo/big.png)
The other major factor of cuddlies we seen in the Zerg race is the general way micro works in Starcraft 2. Roaches, for instance, are short range compared to other ranged units. These means the Zerg player wants to be constantly be as close a possible – preferably nuzzling – the other players units. Even with Zerglings, a Zerg’s fondness for cuddles is prominent. Zergs don’t kite and they don’t forcefield people away. They surround. They hug. They cuddle.
It is because of this that I think it is plainly obvious why Zergs are often thought of as whiners and ragers. It’s not necessarily that the game is imbalanced, it’s because us Zerg players are the sensitive guys (or in the words of John D. Dorian, a “sensee”). Really? You blocked my hatch? Why would you be such a jerk? I just want to make drones in peace!
So take that into consideration when someone rages at you. Sometimes they’re just sensitive.
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/xqumrtxisw/big.png)
So if Zerg players are the sensees, what are the Terran and Protoss players? Well I think the Terran players are obvious. They’re macho. They’re manly. They’re the ones that sneaked a peek at their friend’s junk in the gym shower and realized with sudden horror how small they really are… so they built the Thor. Am I the only one who thinks that tanks sieging up feels remarkably similar to that point right before a cumshot? And when you see the grin on the Terran’s when the shots finally go off you can definitely be a little creeped out.
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/mnsoqbmrvx/big.png)
Protoss players are a little harder to pin down. Of course, then you realize that they all like to play the game. I think you all know the dumb game I’m talking about. They play hard to get. Whenever somebody just tries to get a little too close (like banelings), they either forcefield them away, blink away, or colossus-cliff-walk away from you. They’re the teases. They want you to come after them, they really do. Vixens.
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/pmhmbpirbe/big.png)
But that’s not what we’re here to discuss. Let’s consider some popular NA Zergs at the moment. Obviously Korea is a wildly different culture, and I don’t even know the Korean word of “cuddle.” I don’t even know if Koreans know how to cuddle!
Anyway,I think the two most diametrically opposed Zergs in personality are Sheth and IdrA. But when you think about it, it’s really just two sides of the same coin.
Now, I think we all know Sheth is basically a giant teddy bear that happens to crush opponents with cuddly force of ten thousand teddy grizzly bears. He’s probably the most straightforward example. He likes to cuddle other people. People like to cuddle him. Everybody wins! (except for Sheth’s opponent, of course, who is violently cuddled to death)
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/vcnlawerzb/big.png)
Idra is a great example of a Zerg player that’s been mistreated by the community. He’s a very sensitive player. He wants cuddles when his opponent doesn’t. It’s not fair, and we all know that he’s better. It comes across as rude, but really he just wants a hug. (Hopefully, I can get people to randomly hug Greg and he’ll hate me forever. True burning hatred from IdrA = Priceless)
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/zdaxbhirnb/big.png)
I hope I have brought the community some insight into Zerg players and what makes us tick (Hint: It’s cuddling). I understand some people will completely disagree with me and my psychographic profiles of the races. But let’s just all say they’re repressed with their true feelings. Great! That’s all the time I’m going to spend arguing about that.
So in conclusion, Good Luck, Have Fun, and Cuddle the Zergs!
Edit: + Show Spoiler +
Fixed text blurriness. Here's an extra picture from Raleigh!
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/yagxxtefka/big.png)
And another!
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/juEZD.png)
And another!
![[image loading]](http://imgshr.com/phaltwvrgj/big.png)
and now I want to hug Sheth... and Day9... But I always want to do that
