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I'm going to be frank.
Today is either going to solidify our relationship, or it will damage it, possibly irreparably.
I want to ask her to marry me. I love her with all my heart, I trust her intrinsically. I would lay down my life to keep her safe. She keeps my depression from me, she keeps my head above water. She's my world.
But she's so distant. Sometimes I feel like she just wants to get married to fulfill her plans, and I'm just the easiest solution to get there. Like, I'm just another person in her life and she'd be fine replacing me with the next one. She doesn't trust me with her worries, she can't rely on me to help her, no matter how much I try to be there for her. I feel like sometimes to her, I'm just another friend that she might eventually end up having kids with.
And I know she's closed off and not very emotional. It's how she is, it's how she grew up. But... this is a relationship. Call me old fashioned, but a relationship is two people who trust each other and are there for each other, no matter what. It's not just a mutual contract necessary to start a family, it's a bond. And sometimes I feel like she doesn't view it that way, that to her I'm just a means to an end.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she's just not outwardly emotional and I'm just worrying over nothing. But when she talks about our relationship like spending time with me is just another variable in a cost benefit ratio, it hurts. She's not just a person to me. She's everything. I'm not saying I'd die without her, or that if she left me I'd jump off a building, but there's nothing in my life nearly as important to me as she is. And if I don't register the same for her... I don't know what I'd do.
I don't want to complain about her like this to you guys because she's not a bad person. She's great, and I don't want you to get a bad impression of her. We're just... very different people, and I just want to make sure that we're not too different that it will be an issue.
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On December 10 2014 00:18 WaveofShadow wrote:
Some extra salt in the batch today, Shelks?
I'm actually having a good morning. Just spitting some truth ya know. How are you feeling wave? Get a good sleep?
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On December 09 2014 23:33 Alaric wrote:Show nested quote +On December 09 2014 22:45 Seuss wrote:On December 09 2014 22:43 Alaric wrote:
See, Arena can grant you packs even when the store isn't available. You get at least 20 runs before you run out of gold, even if all of them end up 0-3. And if you get a 12-2 run it keeps you busy much longer, while granting you enough gold to make at least two other runs if the store isn't back by then! Except purchasing Arena was kaput for me as well. GG ALARIC GG Time to get something done out of your day. + Show Spoiler +I just spent almost 30 minutes writing a post to explain Heimerdinger simply and give basic tips/skill order/item build to a beginner acquaintance.
I just spent 30 minutes writing a post to argue with someone about whether or not a their suggested change to a video game is a good idea. I like what you did better, at least you're doing it for someone you know.
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You shouldn't react to paralleluniverse's posts ever.
Also I'm not getting near Req's post at all because pragmatism tends to make me appear untactful and rude if I open my mouth on these things.
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It really does amaze me, sometimes, the amount of time we spend talking to each other.
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@ req
Over here, marriage even in religious families are often after several years of partnership. I couldn't know what the norm is for you, that marriage marks the beginning or is just a solidification and a nice cermony...
Try talking to some of her friends/family about it, see what they expect and how they did if they're married.
It's OK (VERY) to feel silly. Love is like that after all.
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On December 10 2014 00:26 Tooplark wrote:
It really does amaze me, sometimes, the amount of time we spend talking to each other.
It's like the group of friends I hang out with while at work and sometimes on game nights. What amazes me as how diverse we are, we don't even play League really (or it's just as much a minority as any other random game here) and yet we're still all here hanging out. Gives me hope for humanity :')
and cancer.
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Have you had these discussions with her? Are you being open with her with your thoughts like you are to us? Telling us she's not emotional and doesn't express herself to you the way you do to her and or you just being another guy in the world that could be easily replaced.. Is there stronger evidence to this rather than just your gut feeling? Because this may be just another episode of the day and the life of over thinking little things that cause stress and only make small matters into large ones.
Have you talked marriage with her yet? What are her feelings about it? You let your head fill with all these hypothetical situations that most end in negative thoughts but you say you are also for a more traditional relationship, yet I don't see there being the most important part of a tradition relationship.... Communication. Different people have different ways of conveying their feelings and you might be right in the sense that she is just not an openly emotional person like you are but you still need to try and have discussions around this because that is how you are able to figure things out the.
From my perspective: I really hope you didn't buy the ring. Not that I don't have faith in your relationship... It's the mental strain the ring puts on you because you're putting every good and bad moment you've had with her on this one item. I was being serious when I said you need to sit the fuck down and spend a day clearing your head because you're spinning back into old school shitty emo req that would have downer posts and be vague about life. You are not someone that can be unclear about these sort of things, you allow way to many negative thoughts grow in your head instead of just confronting it head on. If you haven't already, take your superior officer out and have a real discussion about the current state and future of the relationship so you can clear your mind up. Right now... What you are doing to yourself at this moment isn't healthy and only negatively affects yourself, others around you, and soon to be work among other things.
This was just a quick mash of thoughts that I typed on my phone while I'm working. Excuse my grammar and or anything I may have missed.
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Not many things are heavier than an engagement ring.
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On December 10 2014 00:28 Duvon wrote:
@ req
Over here, marriage even in religious families are often after several years of partnership. I couldn't know what the norm is for you, that marriage marks the beginning or is just a solidification and a nice cermony...
Try talking to some of her friends/family about it, see what they expect and how they did if they're married.
It's OK (VERY) to feel silly. Love is like that after all.
Don't talk to her friends and family, we aren't 15. Talk to her, she is the one you love. You need to hear it from her not a third party. Talking to other people allows for misinformation. So don't listen to this post
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Looks like chips aren't the only thing Shelke knows about. Not much else needs to be said really. Marriage is all about communication but that doesn't mean you should only start after you get married.
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Dat insight from Shelke.
Not much to add really.
And yes I did get a good sleep, thanks 
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On December 10 2014 00:41 Numy wrote:
Looks like chips aren't the only thing Shelke knows about. Not much else needs to be said really. Marriage is all about communication but that doesn't mean you should only start after you get married.
Shelke actually thinks we're talking about chips. dont tell him. :D
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Shelke have there been attempts to spread the glory of the All Dressed chip to our southern neighbours? If not why not?
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On December 10 2014 00:19 Requizen wrote:
I'm going to be frank.
Today is either going to solidify our relationship, or it will damage it, possibly irreparably.
I want to ask her to marry me. I love her with all my heart, I trust her intrinsically. I would lay down my life to keep her safe. She keeps my depression from me, she keeps my head above water. She's my world.
But she's so distant. Sometimes I feel like she just wants to get married to fulfill her plans, and I'm just the easiest solution to get there. Like, I'm just another person in her life and she'd be fine replacing me with the next one. She doesn't trust me with her worries, she can't rely on me to help her, no matter how much I try to be there for her. I feel like sometimes to her, I'm just another friend that she might eventually end up having kids with.
And I know she's closed off and not very emotional. It's how she is, it's how she grew up. But... this is a relationship. Call me old fashioned, but a relationship is two people who trust each other and are there for each other, no matter what. It's not just a mutual contract necessary to start a family, it's a bond. And sometimes I feel like she doesn't view it that way, that to her I'm just a means to an end.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she's just not outwardly emotional and I'm just worrying over nothing. But when she talks about our relationship like spending time with me is just another variable in a cost benefit ratio, it hurts. She's not just a person to me. She's everything. I'm not saying I'd die without her, or that if she left me I'd jump off a building, but there's nothing in my life nearly as important to me as she is. And if I don't register the same for her... I don't know what I'd do.
I don't want to complain about her like this to you guys because she's not a bad person. She's great, and I don't want you to get a bad impression of her. We're just... very different people, and I just want to make sure that we're not too different that it will be an issue.
Hi, I'm coming up on my first anniversary.
I highly recommend marriage counseling before you get married (getting engaged first is fine). Marriage counseling teaches you how to communicate tough topics like this to one another without making it a confrontation, and stresses the importance of talking these things out early and often. My wife and I did this and it helped immensely, and we've known each other for the better part of a decade.
You will always be different people. Marriage isn't about becoming alike, it's about bridging differences.
For example, I grew up in a family where everyone largely spent their free time doing their own thing. At various times we'd get together for stuff like games and movies, but for the most part we were just happy to be in the same house together. This was completely foreign and weird to my wife, whose family spent all their time in the living room or kitchen together. She felt like I was ignoring her and didn't care about her when that wasn't remotely the case.
We're still bridging that gap, and you're probably running face first into a similar one. Don't despair about it before you've talked to her about it.
You may also just be having pre-engagement jitters. It's pretty easy to agonize over such an important life decision, and thus magnify things both big and small into even bigger things.
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On December 10 2014 00:50 Alzadar wrote:
Shelke have there been attempts to spread the glory of the All Dressed chip to our southern neighbours? If not why not?
I'm pretty sure the states has all dressed chips. They don't have ketchup chips and I don't know why.
@PX you could learn a thing or two. Not only about selling chips but also about other things I talk about too.
Finally, I'm really excited for Friday. I'm getting wasted and it's going to be great. Hope I get to remember it but oh well if I don't.
Edit: shit was getting too real for me. Had to bring it back a little.
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Friends, Americans, neighbours, lend me your ears: do you have all-dressed chips?
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On December 10 2014 01:05 Alzadar wrote:
Friends, Americans, neighbours, lend me your ears: do you have all-dressed chips?
i've never heard of them until watching a Northernlion video.
but i'd imagine the states up north don't have some puerto rican brands that we have in florida either.
EDIT: so i've been up for over 20 hours, even though its 11 am im gonna have some liquor, thats cool right?
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On December 10 2014 00:40 Shelke14 wrote:Show nested quote +On December 10 2014 00:28 Duvon wrote:
@ req
Over here, marriage even in religious families are often after several years of partnership. I couldn't know what the norm is for you, that marriage marks the beginning or is just a solidification and a nice cermony...
Try talking to some of her friends/family about it, see what they expect and how they did if they're married.
It's OK (VERY) to feel silly. Love is like that after all. Don't talk to her friends and family, we aren't 15. Talk to her, she is the one you love. You need to hear it from her not a third party. Talking to other people allows for misinformation. So don't listen to this post
I disagree.
I read this as a situation where he's tried talking to her, but isn't getting the response he needs. Then he should talk to someone who knows her better in those regards.
I understand that communication need to happen between partners. Just gotta start talking...
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I dated a woman once. I agree with Shelke that it's better to talk to to her directly.
On December 10 2014 01:07 PrinceXizor wrote:Show nested quote +On December 10 2014 01:05 Alzadar wrote:
Friends, Americans, neighbours, lend me your ears: do you have all-dressed chips? i've never heard of them until watching a Northernlion video. but i'd imagine the states up north don't have some puerto rican brands that we have in florida either. EDIT: so i've been up for over 20 hours, even though its 11 am im gonna have some liquor, thats cool right?
What's the occasion?
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EPT
