Interview with ilkk!

kk: shazam!

cjh: Indeed.

cjh: I've seen people on the forums call you a loser, a no-talent
jackass, a gay jackass, a sick cheating son of a bitch, a maphacker, a
no-dick asshole, a prick, scum of the earth, a piece of human garbage, a
worthless lying cheater who will burn for an eternity in hell with Hades,
fatty mcfatpants, stupid fat cheating son of a bitch, fat man, dummy,
stupid head, ... how do you respond to this?

ilkk: in that order:

ilkk: fuck you i won, fuck you i won, i like chicks most of the time,
i'm perfectly healthy, i don't map hack, that may be true with the
exception of lacking a penis which is entirely untrue, probably true,
probably true, probably true, definitely true just not whatsoever due to
brood war, i am not fat and do not appreciate association with the
mcdonalds franchise, i am perfectly smart and healthy, im smarter than you are,
and im rubber you're glue what you say bounces off me and sticks to you

KingRekrul: haha

cjh: Well while we're on the topic of McDonald's, as most people
know you used to be quite the fat man, although as recent pictures will
prove, you've lost a lot of weight and are now quite studly. Tell me,
what led to this transformation?

ilkk: i became anorexic

cjh: What do you mean by that?

ilkk: i just played brood war all day

ilkk: brood war players are not fat

ilkk: the ones who are fat are fat because they order fifteen dollars
of food at wendys then come home and watch brood war replays

KingRekrul: lol

cjh: Exactly how much weight did you lose, then?

ilkk: i dunno, eighty pounds

cjh: That's definitely something to be proud of, although I'm sure
you'll receive nothing but ridicule for being a former fatty.

ilkk: my poor soul

ilkk: im not upset about not being fat anymore

ilkk: now i can jump on the bandwagon

ilkk: and make fun of kids for being fat asses too

ilkk: i remember when i was fat

ilkk: i couldn't make fun of kids for being fat

ilkk: that's like against the code

ilkk: sure i could still make fun of black people

cjh: Naturally.

ilkk: but it's not enough

ilkk: now i am complete

ilkk: know what i'm saying, dawg?

ilkk: hoho

ilkk: those silly black people

cjh: But you've still got the kids with the straight white teeth to
look out for.

ilkk: dead-on grandmaster, your humor astounds me

ilkk: your wit is a rainbow and i am a leprechaun

cjh: This year's WCG was recently held, you participated however did
not qualify for a spot to fly to Korea. A lot of people were looking
forward to this event as a way to finally determine whether or not it was
really you who played in the WDT Finals... in the WDT finals you had
over 300 APM, whereas at the WCG USA qualifiers you only had in the range
of 130 APM. How do you respond to all the people out there that take
this as confirmation that somebody else did indeed play for you at the
WDT finals?

ilkk: i just ripped the [red]nada of farts

KingRekrul: i just got an uncanny craving for grape koolaid

ilkk: what do you want me to say?

ilkk: bwchart didn't even exist before wdt

ilkk: we didnt sit around

ilkk: going "oh man my apm is only 170 all the kids on the team liquid
forum are gonna make fun of me after the next tournament if i dont up
the ante"

ilkk: when i practice a lot i start hotkeying obsessively

cjh: So you're saying you just played naturally like you always do,
and just happened to achieve 300+ APM?

ilkk: before wdt finals

ilkk: i quit my job and moved home and played 24/7 for two weeks

ilkk: i doubt i've played half as many games since

ilkk: i really could not give a shit if people believe me or not

ilkk: anyone with a brain and has seen me play can tell when it's me
playing

ilkk: very few people play like me and they all do it way better

cjh: While I've got you here, what's your opinion on this,
Rekrul?

KingRekrul: Just because VeG[pG] is horrible at broodwar and can't face
that fact, does not mean if someone beats him they are a progamer.
DS-Testie hacks. ilnp's ZvZ is more solid than a dino terd. All there is to
it.

ilkk: seriously

ilkk: although i really never thought testie was a hacker

cjh: I have to admit, while I'm not about to start flaming you in
some online forum relentlessly to ultimately accomplish nothing -- I do
believe somebody played for you at the WDT finals.

cjh: I'm pretty sure it's been long enough for you to escape any
potential legal troubles, and most people are sure for themselves that you
cheated anyway... so why don't you finally come out and give everybody
what they're dying to hear? Who played for you?

ilkk: yeah legal troubles

ilkk: a european website hosting a tournament run by an underage kid in
south korea

ilkk: with a written contract with implied acceptance when you joined

ilkk: i'm fucking worried about being sued

ilkk: wait

ilkk: we cant talk any longer

ilkk: my lawyer advises

ilkk: i steer clear of this subject

KingRekrul: /w ilkk also, remember never to mention wdt in public again

KingRekrul: !@#$

ilkk: people need to stop kidding themselves about wdt

ilkk: i played an ass load of ladder games

ilkk: i beat all the guys i played

ilkk: i nine pooled half my ladder games and then nine pooled half my
tourney games

ilkk: (what a spooky connection)

cjh: But 130 APM to 300 APM, along with a completely
different-looking Actions Distribution chart... you must admit, that looks very
suspicious.

ilkk: yeah

ilkk: same build orders

ilkk: same abnormal strategies

ilkk: but man, difference in hotkey level between ladder game->super
important tourney game

ilkk: that fucking rings sirens in my head

cjh: I've heard comments from players such as TillerMaN, Maynard,
NTT, Hattan, Nazgul, and Smuft, that all point towards them believing
that somebody took your place for the WDT finals. How do you respond?

ilkk: who the fuck is hattan

KingRekrul: lol

cjh: It's not important, haha.

KingRekrul: he's that canadian that was on yosh's balls

ilkk: who the fuck is yosh?

KingRekrul: some canadian

cjh: As some viewers will know, you were once part of GG, alongside
such players as Elky, sVEN and NTT. What was it like being on that team?
Any members you just didn't get along with? Lycos ever pay for
anything?

ilkk: i wasnt like, really on GG

ilkk: i didn't know anyone when i went out to korea except maynard and
he didnt even like me

ilkk: and ntt cus we go back

ilkk: i threw on the tag as a joke fucking around with garimto and
everyone told me i could keep it on

ilkk: that's about as formal as clans get but it's not like i was
getting a free trip to france anytime soon

ilkk: and i got along with everyone just peachy

ilkk: that's why i had it on my name

ilkk: it wasn't for my fucking brood war skill :o

cjh: I'm guessing this trip to Korea that you mentioned was quite
some time ago. What was the professional gaming scene like at that point?
Was this before, during or after [GG99]Slayer's KBK win?

ilkk: My trip to Korea was a long, grim, and lonely one beginning on
the second day of the dark month of December and ending sixty days later
in the holiday shadow that is January, two thousand and two years after
the death of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. This was in the middle
of Slayers Boxer's reign, the year he won WCG for the first time and
played Garimto in a memorable OGN finals. Elky had just moved to the
lonely city of Seoul prepared to do battle with the wily wicked warriors
of the east in the little game we like to call Starcraft.

cjh: Most people don't realize just how far back you go with
Starcraft. Most players from your time miss "the good old days" and seem
atleast a little disappointed with how the whole scene has evolved. Around
what "era" in Starcraft history would you say you feel the most
nostalgic about?

ilkk: I have to say I had the most sex in my life when I was in Korea
so I'd have to be most nostalgic about that one.

KingRekrul: haha

cjh: What's the whole culture like out there? Is it very similar to
North America, do they treat women differently, were there any customs
you had difficulty getting used to, did any pretty girls ask you for
your Gamei rating?

ilkk: Asian cultures are all very similar -- to each other.

ilkk: Kinda like us white people all shake hands.

ilkk: They're completely all fucking backwards compared to western
worlds

ilkk: Women are treated... differently yet not really bad. On the
surface it may seem that asian cultures treat women like objects and
disrespect them but it's not really that way so much and women have the upper
hand socially

ilkk: and yes

ilkk: one girl asked what my gamei rating was

ilkk: (just one)

cjh: I don't believe you flew out there to participate in a major
tournament, but more just to have a good time and meet people. Where did
you stay? How were you able to afford the plane ticket?

ilkk: i won the plane ticket in a poker game with some older gentlemen

ilkk: who did not know what they were getting into

ilkk: when i got there i slept on the floor in maynard/froz's room at
the wcg player hotel

ilkk: then i got a room in a sex motel about 2 blocks from grrr's
apartment

ilkk: for a couple weeks

ilkk: then for maybe 5 weeks I stayed with Spunky

cjh: So Poker is something you've excelled at for a long time then I
assume? For those out there who don't know, ilnp now plays Poker online
professionally. When did you first start playing Poker? Do you remember
who introduced you to it?

ilkk: I first played poker May 2001

ilkk: I was introudced to it by three ex starcraft players

ilkk: people may/may not remember

ilkk: LameKing, TheBusDriver, and Bob. (also IN-Bob for like a two week
period)

ilkk: I went to Vancouver to stay with relatives and just catch a break
from Missouri for a couple months

ilkk: and they had all quit brood war for real life and played poker as
a hobby

ilkk: then in august 2003 i heard a couple swedish players had started
to make some pretty good cash online rocking it out

ilkk: and i was kinda getting back into the vibe with world poker tour
and such

ilkk: so i started playing

ilkk: and playing and playing

ilkk: and now urinating

ilkk: brb

cjh: And exactly how much do you make off of this online Poker play?
Is it really enough to live off of?

ilkk: anywhere from $1,000US->$4,000US a week

ilkk: if i played full time hours

ilkk: a good estimate would be $2,000 a week on average

cjh: Most people are under the impression that Poker is entirely a
game of chance, others believe that it can be a game of skill -- but
only when played in person. But obviously, for somebody to so clearly
excel at something as you have, there must be some level of finesse
involved.

cjh: For those of us that can't understand how one could excel at this,
can you run us through a hypothetical situation in which a
lesser-skilled Poker player makes a mistake, and you take a big pot off of him?

ilkk: Most mistakes bad poker players make allow me to save money in
situations that I usually just have to lose X amount of cash

ilkk: I guess the mistake they make that allows me to make the most
money

ilkk: is drawing to flushes and straights without what we call "pot
odds"

ilkk: since they don't "get there" that often, it's really unwise to
call large bets with just draws

ilkk: but i often build up pots to 100-200$ when people have a 1/5
chance of hitting their hand

cjh: How does the amount of money you've made playing Poker compare
to the amount of money you've made playing computer games? Which do you
enjoy more?

ilkk: ive made more money this week than i have playing computer games
for 7 years

ilkk: brood war will always have a special place in my heart and i'll
never get tired of it

ilkk: i'll probably goto wcg 2004 and CPL if they have BW

ilkk: they both have their plus sides... i love them both

ilkk: however Starcraft is very special

ilkk: i hate most videogames

cjh: There has been heated debate on the CPL forums about whether or
not BW should be included in the line-up, as you mentioned. What's your
opinion on all of this, or more specifically, about FPS vs RTS as a
spectator sport?

ilkk: I was banned from the CPL forums a long time ago for stirring up
this debate with a friend making posts on esreality

ilkk: I firmly believe Starcraft usurps all available FPS's as a
spectator sport, and I've really never enjoyed watching an FPS after Quake 1

ilkk: FPS's are dead in Korea for a lot of reasons

ilkk: one is they are not cost efficient -- pcbang (PC Cafe) owners
dont have the cash to upgrade to massive machines every 3 months

ilkk: but the big one I learned talking to a korean tv producer

ilkk: and that is FPS's are ridiculously repetitive

ilkk: people argue that Starcraft is incomprehensible to a "new person"
-- but every game is to some degree

ilkk: you watch an FPS, all you realize is that you need to kill people

ilkk: in Starcraft you realize that the aliens are trying to kill the
humans

ilkk: i think this is even easier to understand than basketball or
football

ilkk: what korean producers told me is that

ilkk: you watch one game of say, counterstrike

ilkk: it's very very alike to every other game of counterstrike

ilkk: and its really hard to televise well

ilkk: but in starcraft

ilkk: you could watch a game for 5 minutes without a label telling you
who was playing

ilkk: and if you were a regular fan you could probably pick out a
player by his style

cjh: What would you say to somebody, perhaps a WC3 player, making
the argument that Starcraft is old, has bad graphics, and that the entire
SC community needs to learn to "let go"?

ilkk: I think SC has great graphics

ilkk: Starcraft is something that may never be duplicated

ilkk: *eveyrone* understands this

ilkk: thats why there are more people playing starcraft than war3

ilkk: and a lot of war3 players are basically Brood War washouts

ilkk: (those in the competitive arena)

ilkk: it manages to accomplish variance without randomness

ilkk: which is nigh unattainable in gaming

ilkk: i could play rekrul tonight over and over

ilkk: and even though he's better

ilkk: and i'm rusty

ilkk: i will win after not that many games

ilkk: and it won't be because i got some item

cjh: Most people within the Starcraft community are dying for a
sequel, but are at the same time worried -- and often times entirely
certain -- that Blizzard will find some way to screw it up. Most are very
heavily against 3D graphics for an RTS, for example, while Blizzard has
stated that all of their future titles will be in 3D. What are your hopes
for Starcraft 2?

ilkk: Blizzard went through a lot of changes since Starcraft and BW
were made

ilkk: When I play BW I don't see a space based rts

ilkk: i dont see marines and zerglings

ilkk: they're just blocks of color that represent symbols in the
underlying game

ilkk: and although starcraft 2 may be true to the story 100%

ilkk: it may not be true to the game within

ilkk: i really couldn't care less

ilkk: well i could

ilkk: cus i care a little

ilkk: but i'm not on the edge of my pants for the SC2 announcement or
anything

cjh: What do you think will happen with the Starcraft community if
another RTS is never created to "dethrone" Brood War?

ilkk: it will be interesting to see how long it lives

ilkk: but i dont think its going anywhere soon

cjh: Most Starcraft players will recognize you for your loyalty to
the 9pool, a Zerg build order which you used almost exclusively
throughout the Team USA tournament to qualify yourself for a spot on the team.

cjh: This caused a lot of players to become upset by the fact that they
lost to what they viewed as "newbie tactics" and some viewers on the
sidelines didn't think you really earned your position on Team USA
because of this. Exactly why were you so big on the 9pool throughout that
tournament? Do you not consider yourself capable of winning a game in the
long-term?

ilkk: 9 pool is the safest build order in the game of starcraft, for
any race

ilkk: i chose it most of the time because i didn't want to get cheesed
and knew the game climate after a nine pool, assuming my opponent
didn't cheese, would throw my opponent out of their element and into mine
and allow me to make up any losses in economy or time

ilkk: i used it all through wdtour as well

cjh: After you earned your spot on the team, what was it like
playing in all those Nation vs Nation Matches, knowing everybody from SCL and
the TL.net forums were going to be analyzing your replays down to the
last detail looking for reasons to put you down? Surely it must have
been very stressful for you?

ilkk: Not really

ilkk: I am not big on what stupid people think

ilkk: it just was all fun to me...

cjh: And what eventually led to your resignation from Team USA? It
seems that almost immediately after you left, the team became completely
inactive. Is this just a coincidence?

ilkk: no

ilkk: i think it's a conspiracy!

ilkk: that and rekrul and assem both seconded my feelings of being sick
of giving up our sunday mornings to entertain and represent bitchy
assholes

cjh: So it was the negative response of bitchy American assholes
that caused you to quit Team USA, and the team itself to become
inactive?

ilkk: yeah

cjh: Did you have any personal problems with anybody else on the
team? Anybody you were just constantly fighting with? I know you met Assem
in Kentucky, how did you two get along?

ilkk: assem and i are tight

ilkk: rekrul and i are tight

ilkk: whear and i are tight

ilkk: i really dont remember who else there was and they didnt matter

ilkk: :D

cjh: I'm sure you're aware then that after Assem's 2nd place finish
in WCG USA 2003, he flew out to Korea and is now living there as a
semi-professional gamer, under the sponsorship of the professional
Starcraft gaming team Pirates of Space. How did you react when you received
word of this news? Were you happy for him?

ilkk: yeah

ilkk: he wanted to do it for quite a while, i'm glad he finally set it
up

ilkk: i hope he's still there when i head to korea next year

cjh: Sadly he has not received so much support from bitchy American
asshole gamers in the USA. Most of them are frustrated about it, and
believe other players in the USA such as Rekrul deserved it more. What do
you think? How do you think his performance will match up to the other
gamers in Korea?

ilkk: it's not like it was handed to him

ilkk: he had the means and the motivation and set it up for himself,
and thus he deserves it

ilkk: regardless of that, I think assem has the mindset necessary to
succeed

ilkk: and anyone who thinks he's a sub par player is sorely mistaken

cjh: If you could give him some words of encouragement, or advice
for Korea, what would they be?

ilkk: stop playing brood war and go get laid

ilkk: it's easier to get in korea than crackers at a soup kitchen

cjh: Hehe, alright, I think that about covers everything. Would you
like to explain the name change before we conclude this interview?

ilkk: i love keira knightley

cjh: Thanks for the interview Omid, it was a pleasure. I wish you
happiness and the best of success in all of your future endeavors.

ilkk: anything you'd like to add?

cjh: Yes, as a matter of fact. I recognize that an interview by me
of you posted on a Brood War related website will most likely be the
most attention I will ever receive in my life and have elected to use
this attention as a vehicle to make what will quite possibly be the most
important self disclosing statement I have ever made. So, here it goes.
Mom, Dad, Timmy, I'm Gay. I like men. Oh, I feel like a weight has
been lifted off my shoulders.

ilkk: Now you can add some weight on your back, eh, butt pirate?

cjh: Hopefully, hopefully.