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Woo! Back with ProLeague update. You may notice that last week there wasn't one, and that is because of one very important detail: I am a moron. Which is why immediately after writing this article I will commit ritual suicide. Long live the republic! Long Live Team Liquid! Enough nonsense! On to the games! Another sentence ends with an exclamation mark! I am very excited!
This will be a massive DOUBLE UPDATE with TWO WEEKS WORTH OF GAMES. That means you will see a whole lot of words that I (allegedly) wrote! Don't you feel lucky?!
BoxeR < 
Stork< Baekmagoji >
DaezanG < 
oDin< Blue Storm >
Rage/Clon > TT/sigamari< Hwangsanbul >
OversKy < Freedom< Python >
ACE fails again! Boxer, Daezang, and Oversky are the closest thing to a competitive 1v1 field that ACE can muster, and all three of them get decimated. However, Samsung's 2v2, which was so strong last season, loses to ACE's old guy squad, featuring Rage and Clon. Samsung really isn't playing so hot these days, but they take the win over ACE, who have yet to win a ProLeague match. Samsung wins 3-1.
Tester > TheManiaMST< Katrina >
maGma < Sea.Jy< Blue Storm >
Cool[fOu]/Bassen[fOu] < sAviOr/Nbs[gm]< Seongangil >
ELIZA > Much< Baekmagoji >
***ACE***
UpMagiC < DarkElf< Monty Hall SE >
eStro puts up a suprisingly strong fight against CJ in this match. Somewhere on the forum I wrote "Katrina is carrier hell so Tester will probably win". First person to link to it gets a shoutout in the next update's intro! The surprise in this match was probably Eliza beating Much. We haven't seen anything from Eliza in quite some time, so its a bit of an eyebrow-raiser seeing him show up and crush Much. Predictably, DarkElf shows up in the ace match and gives UpMagic the business. Decent effort by eStro, but CJ wins 3-2.
Calm > BeSt< Python >
Kal < Midas< Baekmagoji >
BestGod/Terror[fou] < Bul_T/AnomiA< Hwangsanbul >
Hwasin > Canata< Un'Goro Crater >
***ACE***
Kal > GoRush< Blue Storm >
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? Kal gets his shit pushed in by Midas and then T1 sends out GoRush, who is underperforming and playing utterly terrible against Protoss in general, and Kal wrecks him in the Ace match. God is teasing me.
Anyway, T1 finally wins a 2v2 which clinches the ace match, because Canata wouldn't beat Hwasin if Hwasin was dead. Poor choice in the ace match sends T1 packing, Soul wins 3-2.
Light < Haran< Un'Goro Crater >
Pusan > By.Flash< Katrina >
Saint[z-zone]/Bisu > Reach/ZergBong< Seongangil >
Sea > Hery< Monty Hall SE >
Whoa. Haran takes a page out of Kwanro's MSL book. He destroys light with a nicely executed No-Den, Muta Harass Into Ultraling build. Good for him! Too bad it doesn't matter, because Hero looks like they're done fucking around for the season. This is their strongest possible lineup, and besides a hiccup in the Light game, they dominate KTF. Pusan uses Arbiter tricks to embarass flash, season 1 partners Saint and Bisu reunite and destroy KTF's premiere team, and Sea completely outclasses Hery in every imaginable way. This match made me incredible happy, and if you disagree, or if your forums name is Last Romantic, get out. Wherever or whatever you are currently at or in, leave that area. Go somewhere else and think about what you did. MBC wins 3-1.
Luxury > mensol[zero]< Un'Goro Crater >
HoGiL < GGPlay< Monty Hall SE >
NsP_Flower/Justin > FanTastic_NamoO/Qoo)Max< Hwangsanbul >
Chalrenge > free < Blue Storm >
What a letdown. Hanbit brings their A-List again, but falls to OGN. Luxury, as expected, beats mensol in the first set. GGPlay beats Hogil in the second set, which is also expected. Somehow, OGN's 2v2 beats last season's 2v2 MVPs, and then Chalrenge picks an unfortunate time to win a PvP. I'm still holding a faint hope that the Hanbit Revival is at hand, but this loss sure doesn't help. OGN wins 3-1.
Anytime > Mind< Blue Storm >
Lomo < HerO_V< Katrina >
HiyA[fOu]/Bright[z-zone] < Ho[WHITE]/Stay[HyO]< Seongangil >
Jaedong > Rock< Un'Goro Crater >
***ACE***
Anytime > NaDa< Python >
Legend of the fall, bitch! Lecaf fields a lineup that deviates slightly from their unstoppable trio of terror, in that Lomo was subbed in for ForGG. Even though the kid drops his game, Anytime picks up the pieces in the Ace match and wrecks a still-struggling Nada. Lecaf still has not lost this season! Lecaf wins 3-2.
DaezanG < Iris< Blue Storm >
BoxeR < XellOs< Monty Hall SE >
Rage/Clon < Sea.Jy/TheManiaMST< Hwangsanbul >
Blowout! CJ walks all over Ace in this match, with a terran showdown of biblical portions therein: Boxer vs Xellos. Xellos walks away with this one, but a little pang of nostalgia went through me when I saw these two names against one another. Rage and Clon couldn't pull any heroics against CJ's 2v2 team, so CJ wins 3-0.
maGma > JJu< Blue Storm >
SangHo > JangBi< Katrina >
Cool[fOu]/Bassen[fOu] > TT/sigamari< Seongangil >
Another blowout! A little unexpected this time, unless you look at the lineups. eStro sneaks by Samsung, who choose not to use Stork or Firebathero, and field the same floundering TT/Sigamari team. eStro gets rather fortunate matchups in sets 1 and 2, which allow them to take the match home. eStro wins 3-0.
Calm < Hery< Baekmagoji >
Hwasin < Haran< Un'Goro Crater >
Terror[fou]/TheStC[GnH] < Reach/ZergBong< Seongangil >
Yet another blowout! KTF's strong 2v2 team and a pair of young guys take out Soul's top lineup. Haran scores another win over a top-tier terran on Un'Goro Crater in this match, as KTF wins 3-0.
Pusan < MuJuK< Blue Storm >
Light > GoRush< Monty Hall SE >
Saint[z-zone]/Bisu > LaKe[Name]/Shudder< Hwangsanbul >
Sea > Midas< Baekmagoji >
Almost a blowout! Hero's top lineup does it again. Pusan, surprisingly, drops a PvP to T1's new protoss Mujuk, who continues to look good in ProLeague. After that, it's all Hero. Light strangles a downtrodden GoRush, Saint/Bisu walk over T1's teamplay, and Sea double proxies Midas, who didn't even bother scouting outside his main. T1 will need better performances from Midas and GoRush (and some ProLeague presence from oov) to make it anywhere this season. MBC Hero wins 3-1.
Anytime < Much< Baekmagoji >
Jaedong > sAviOr< Un'Goro Crater >
Bright[z-zone]/HiyA[fOu] > Sea.Jy/Nbs[gm]< Seongangil >
BackHo > Iris< Blue Storm >
Team Not-Fucking-Around-Anymore meets Team Never-Fucks-Around! It seems that on this day, Lecaf was fucking around a hair less than CJ, and the two titanic lineups produce some interesting results. The first and fourth sets were actually upsets in this match, but the other two were clear favourites for Lecaf. Nbs is pretty terrible at 2v2, and you don't mess with Jaedong ZvZ. Entertaining match, Lecaf wins 3-1.
Sea.Leta < Stork< Blue Storm >
go.go > FrOzean[Name]< Monty Hall SE >
NsP_Flower/Justin > JiHyun/CuteBOy[gm]< Hwangsanbul >
Chalrenge > Freedom< Baekmagoji >
Khan just can't seem to get their proleague straight this season. Leta gained a little fame last season for an epic destruction of Stork, but he failed to repeat the circus act. Shitbrained nerd GoGo somehow takes his thumb out of his ass long enough to beat Frozean, and Chalrenge and the 2v2 squad close it out for OGN. Sparkyz win 3-1.
GGPlay > July< Baekmagoji >
NsP_DarLinG < Canata< Un'Goro Crater >
FanTastic_NamoO/Qoo)Max < LaKe[Name]/Shudder< Seongangil >
free < Midas< Blue Storm >
Hanbit, despite once against fielding their best lineup (and one 1v1 filler), can't take down T1. Midas chooses an unfortunate game in which to play solidly, as he rolls over free with ridiculous ease. Lake and Shudder make a milestone T1 2v2 achievement - they've won more games than they've lost. T1 wins 3-1.
NaDa > Hery< Monty Hall SE >
Sea.FireFist > 815< Un'Goro Crater >
Stay[HyO]/HoOny < Reach/ZergBong< Hwangsanbul >
Sea.Pure < Tempest)Is(< Katrina >
***ACE***
Rock > Nal_rA< Baekmagoji >
Close match! Nada pulls out a win, which seems rare for him these days. Tempest has another great performance, and then rA lets down his team by foolishly reacting to the situation Rock put him in. After a failed proxy 2gate on Rock's part, rA insists on attacking Rock's base, fighting Rock's 4 gate goon with his own 3 gate goon. If he had just expanded when his initial advantage presented himself, he would have cruised to an easy victory. Rock fans, don't get excited over this one. WeMade wins 3-2.
Rage < Kal< Blue Storm >
BoxeR < by.hero< Monty Hall SE >
DaezanG/Clon > BestGod/Terror[fou]< Hwangsanbul >
fOru < TheStC[GnH]< Baekmagoji >
Frustrating. Kal gets another easy draw, and picks up another win. Boxer somehow loses to a nobody schmuck of a zerg. ACE's 2v2 wins, and then fOru inexplicably has almost nothing when TheSTC's push comes calling. Will ACE ever win a ProLeague match? Soul wins 3-1.
maGma < Sea< Blue Storm >
Tester < HyuN< Katrina >
Cool[fOu]/Bassen[fOu] < Saint[z-zone]/Bisu< Seongangil >
Awwwww yeah. After a dismal start to the season, Hero's top lineup continues to wreck everything they see. Sea plays a hilariously one-sided game against magma, Hyun beats Tester (who actually played pretty well) with something crazy like 13-hatch crackling, and the dynamic duo Saint and Bisu triumph again. Things are looking up for Hero and my pint-sized homeboy Sea. Hero wins 3-0!
fOrGG > Stork< Python >
Anytime > firebathero< Baekmagoji >
Lomo/ShinHwA > TT/sigamari< Hwangsanbul >
Where has Khan's 2v2 gone? Lecaf's monster lineup truimphs without even going to Jaedong's set once again. It's going to take a strong-performing T1 or a run-in with Hero's ace lineup to stop Lecaf this season. Lecaf wins 3-0.
Casy < BeSt< Blue Storm >
Mind > iloveoov< Baekmagoji >
Ho[WHITE]/Stay[HyO] > Bul_T/AnomiA< Seongangil >
NaDa > MuJuK< Monty Hall SE >
Casy's return to professional play is not pretty. Casy's problem TvP lets him down again, in a game that virtually every other professional terran would have won. Mind defeats Oov, T1's 2v2 loses, and Nada beats up new Protoss boy Mujuk. WeMade, whose mantra might as well have been "At Least We're Not ACE", is showing signs of life as we draw nearer to midseason. With this win, they hand T1 a loss, putting t1 at 7th in the standings, and boosting WeMade to 8th. WeMade wins 3-1.
Nal_rA < Sea.GuemChi< Katrina >
GARIMTO < free[gm]< Python >
Reach/ZergBong > by.mingu/mensol[zero]< Hwangsanbul >
Hery < GGPlay< Baekmagoji >
GARIMTO's return to televised StarCraft is not the legendary rebirth we'd hoped for. Despite having a decent build and some smart play, GARIMTO just can't compare to free, and gets rolled the fuck over. Hanbit sends out Guemchi as well, whose last game was a devilish win over Sea on Katrina. GuemChi delivers the goods again, destroying rA to give his team the early lead. Could this be the third solid 1v1 player Hanbit so desperately needs? Reach and Zergbong take out Hanbit's 2v2 squad, but GGPlay wrecks Hery on the zerg graveyard Baekmagoji to seal it up. Hanbit wins 3-1.
That will do it for the last TWO weeks of ProLeague, and I solemnly swear on the grave of someone I will get around to killing that I will not miss another friday, and if I do miss a friday, I'll tell myself what a naughty boy I am and give myself a good spanking to teach me a lesson. Mmmmmm.
Erotically yours,
FakeSteve
gj
