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An Epic Crusade

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IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32278 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-01-17 04:11:43
January 17 2007 04:05 GMT
#1
Today Hot_Bid, SuperJongMan & IntoTheWow logged into B.net west realm to play some 3v3 games at Big Game Hunters like they sometimes do. After some games Hot_Bid said he had to, so IntoTheWow was left with SuperJongMan. As they failed to get some 2vs2 games going, they saw inept logged in and an idea came to their minds.

"Lets strip hermoine" - inept said.
They tried that idea in vain, as that game requires a full house to be beaten.

SuperJongMan seemed to be particularly obsessed with stripping Jessica Alba as he told his mates about previous experiences of trying to join "STRIP JESSICA ALBA!!! XPERTS ONLY!!" games only to find they would get full inmediately.

So the 3 of them proceeded to make a public game called "Strip Jessica Alba ~_~_~" and began their crusade. In the public game they met other players who shared their same motivation.

After seeing how long the game took and how hard it was they though saving regularly would be a good idea, so they told the newcomers to go to their home (op tl-west), where they could re-group and look for back-up.
Rel[sR] also known as Sacajawea or Rel[TPR] joined them by answering SuperJongMan's request with a "lol sure".


For those of you who never played this game, each player picks a unit and micro their way trough narrow paths filled with enemies, traps and obstacles to kill 3 main buildings. Each building stripping a part of Jessica Alba's body. Her legs shoulders and belly first, followed by her bobbies and with her kitten as the grand finale.

Your friend HnR)SoYu entered a Starcraft Broodwar game called fw.

It began.

Line-up:

- HnR)SoYu (aka SuperJongMan) was the brave drone, who would open the minerals paths to their partners once the area was safe.
- inept (aka Detonate) would pick the firebat, who would afk and coach the rest of them team, only to get 10 kills by the end of the game
- rel[sR] (aka) Sacajawea picked the Ghost, with good range and poor dmg, to take enemies out strategically and avoid damage.
- LeoDioxide (who joined in the public game) picked the medic, the guinea pig who would set off dangerous mines placed on the paths, walk into dangerous territory before their fragile allies and ocasianally heal his partners.
- skyterran5 (aka the korean from the public game) got the defiler who with the powers of plague and dark swarm but with the weakness of no engligh understanding at all followed the rest.
- IntoTheWow who got the kerrigan, good for detecting dts with esnare, killing cloacked enemies with storm and dying in the end. When he started coaching with inept.

The fellowship started killing dragoons, storming dts, mining blockades. They first paths werent difficult, but one had to be carefull to not to fall for traps like dts aiming for your drone (the only member who can open 'doors'), minerals which the drone could pick making him unable to open doors, goliaths with haxxed range who would shoot your drone while everyone was looking for the minimap to see mighty tits revealed.

Lots of tricks were used during the adventure. After being trapped in a pathway by an inmortal enemy ghost unit, skyterran5 used his defilers burrow to make his allies jump the block. IntoTheWow hallucinated the medic to entretain the inmortal ghost while their drone lockpicked the following entrance. LeoDioxide used his medic to soak damage from the enemy waves, while skyterran5 keep plaguing him by mistake.

"STOP FUCKING PLAGUING ME" LeoDioxide said.
"!"·??'♀!"♀♀??ǨP?? sorry -_-;;" skyterran5 replied everytime that happened.

With the help of SuperJongMan who served as a translator between the team and their korean partner, 14 remakes, IntoTheWow dying in the end, the chocolate rel eated to afk and leave their allies in the moments of most tension, the TL squad (+invites) finally got the last building which revealed all of Alba's skin.

The Booty

+ Show Spoiler +

NSFW

http://img361.imageshack.us/img361/2417/image001xh0.jpg
http://img361.imageshack.us/img361/3035/image002fd4.jpg
http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/1196/image003do3.jpg
http://img361.imageshack.us/img361/6639/image004uy8.jpg
http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/7748/image005nk9.jpg
http://img361.imageshack.us/img361/6156/image006ul9.jpg
http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/6167/image007rv2.jpg



Ahoy Mates!
Moderator<:3-/-<
vGl-CoW
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Belgium8305 Posts
January 17 2007 04:09 GMT
#2
well this sure beats the shit out of the fellowship of the ring
Moderatorfollow me on twitter if u think ur so tough @BooyaCow
RaGe
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Belgium9950 Posts
January 17 2007 04:15 GMT
#3
upload the map
Moderatorsometimes I get intimidated by the size of my right testicle
IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32278 Posts
January 17 2007 04:17 GMT
#4
http://yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=batch_status&batch_id=M6mqyg2mbWx5TA==

dözo
Moderator<:3-/-<
Yizuo
Profile Joined December 2004
Germany1537 Posts
January 17 2007 04:18 GMT
#5
hot stuff - hot shit.
Aurious
Profile Blog Joined April 2006
Canada1772 Posts
January 17 2007 04:19 GMT
#6
lol
Zelniq
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
United States7166 Posts
January 17 2007 04:22 GMT
#7
On January 17 2007 13:09 vGl-CoW wrote:
well this sure beats the shit out of the fellowship of the ring
ModeratorBlame yourself or God
QuietIdiot
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
7004 Posts
January 17 2007 04:47 GMT
#8
I'm pretty sure she's never done anything nude. Probably a body photoshopped with her face on it, but regardless, DAMN.
j0ehoe
Profile Joined September 2006
United States2705 Posts
January 17 2007 04:49 GMT
#9
photoshopped ez ;p
Only communists disconnect.
Cpt Obvious
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Germany3073 Posts
January 17 2007 04:54 GMT
#10
oh my goodness that beats "The Travis experience" by far :D

TL winz teh intarwarb again lol0rz !!
Nobody ever reads signatures of people like me, do they?
pooper-scooper
Profile Joined May 2003
United States3108 Posts
January 17 2007 04:58 GMT
#11
yeah, this is actually a really pretty hard map, especially the miner maze.
Good...Bad... Im the guy with the gun
Vin{MBL}
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
5185 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-01-17 05:10:16
January 17 2007 05:04 GMT
#12
what does nsfw mean?
RaGe
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Belgium9950 Posts
January 17 2007 05:12 GMT
#13
not safe for work
Moderatorsometimes I get intimidated by the size of my right testicle
Chobo_Abe
Profile Joined September 2006
United States168 Posts
January 17 2007 05:15 GMT
#14
I am l33t at that game.
Xeofreestyler
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
Belgium6776 Posts
January 17 2007 05:23 GMT
#15
Today you people are true heroes. I salute you.
Graphics
Physician *
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States4146 Posts
January 17 2007 05:25 GMT
#16
Even boredom has its rewards!
"I have beheld the births of negative-suns and borne witness to the entropy of entire realities...."
Pressure
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
7326 Posts
January 17 2007 05:47 GMT
#17
NICE.
born-to-porn
Profile Joined January 2004
Denmark400 Posts
January 17 2007 05:58 GMT
#18
Never have a been so proud to be part of this great community!
Nobody beats the Beater
Bill307
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Canada9103 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-01-17 06:07:51
January 17 2007 06:04 GMT
#19
Hahahaha, I loved your battle report IntoTheWow . Congratulations on beating the map .

I'm interested in trying these maps now. They sound like a lot of fun .

(and thanks for sharing the booty with us )
Manifesto7
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Osaka27174 Posts
January 17 2007 06:14 GMT
#20
You should get a special ims icon beside the LS one as the mighty victor of the bnet world. Lets give one to the pubs too.
ModeratorGodfather
rel
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Guam3521 Posts
January 17 2007 06:46 GMT
#21
was afk for 3 minutes and still 2nd highest score!
I'll tank push my way into her heart. ☮♥&$!
Kennigit *
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Canada19447 Posts
January 17 2007 06:54 GMT
#22
Word has it that Uwe Bowl is trying to acquire the rights to produce a film based on this epic story...dont let him do it guys, for the love of god dont let him do it
chiflutz
Profile Joined June 2006
Romania1025 Posts
January 17 2007 07:09 GMT
#23
No worries, our crack infiltration team is kidnapping that so-called director and taking him to a small, secluded island at this very moment. Hats off to you, IntoTheWoW !
kt violet Korea (South). July 27 2012 15:54. Posts 23
SirKibbleX
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
United States479 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-01-17 07:42:00
January 17 2007 07:40 GMT
#24
Real Men of Starcraft.

Today we salute you, Mr. "Strip Jessica Alba" player. Your hard work has netted you one picture you could likely find in five minutes with google images (Yea, Google images, yea!)

The amount of timing, coordination, and number of inevitable failures you undergo makes you among the most elite of cyber-athletes, and your hard work paid off (Jessica Alba, yea!)

So thank you, miner, medic, defiler, ghost, and firebat, your dedication and initiative has made the lives of a few people worldwide slightly more entertained.

(Oh and Jessica Alba = damnn!!!)
Praemonitus, Praemunitus.
thedeadhaji *
Profile Blog Joined January 2006
39489 Posts
January 17 2007 07:50 GMT
#25
I lolled at the korean <3
a-game
Profile Blog Joined December 2004
Canada5214 Posts
January 17 2007 07:52 GMT
#26
nice writeup
you wouldnt feel that way if it was *your* magical sword of mantouchery that got stolen - racebannon
StarN
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
United States2587 Posts
January 17 2007 08:50 GMT
#27
IntoTheWow I challenge you to a game of Reverse LT, bo101
Retired BW Noob
ieatkids5
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United States4628 Posts
January 17 2007 09:08 GMT
#28
Haha what a great epic tale. Congratulations to all of the players.
Loved the way you wrote it.
LuMiX
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
China5757 Posts
January 17 2007 10:06 GMT
#29
hi agu !! im friends w/ ur countryman, juampi :D
Detonate
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
Iceland578 Posts
January 17 2007 10:15 GMT
#30
yes teamliquid conquers everything one by one, even while afk eating chicken salad and yelling NO STUPID SJM whole game. oh and we talked about wether the last stage was gonna open up a bald eagle, a beaver, or a woodpecker.

P.S. i didn't suggest playing strip hermione. that was intothewow using it as a coverup!

P.S.S there were Dark templars. Protoss Ninjas. Thousands of them.
inept @ west always up for TMM and 1vs1. TLT3 goGOgOG
ilovezil
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States4143 Posts
January 17 2007 10:44 GMT
#31
On January 17 2007 19:15 Detonate wrote:
yes teamliquid conquers everything one by one, even while afk eating chicken salad and yelling NO STUPID SJM whole game. oh and we talked about wether the last stage was gonna open up a bald eagle, a beaver, or a woodpecker.

P.S. i didn't suggest playing strip hermione. that was intothewow using it as a coverup!

P.S.S there were Dark templars. Protoss Ninjas. Thousands of them.


I need to need getting to need of needing use Search Function thx to Google
...


My attempt at a ripoff of shield battery
Pressure
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
7326 Posts
January 17 2007 10:47 GMT
#32
On January:44 ilovezil wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January:15 Detonate wrote:
yes teamliquid conquers everything one by one, even while afk eating chicken salad and yelling NO STUPID SJM whole game. oh and we talked about wether the last stage was gonna open up a bald eagle, a beaver, or a woodpecker.

P.S. i didn't suggest playing strip hermione. that was intothewow using it as a coverup!

P.S.S there were Dark templars. Protoss Ninjas. Thousands of them.


I need to need getting to need of needing use Search Function thx to Google
...


My attempt at a ripoff of shield battery

-_- wowww
i've seen the original too much to laugh lmao
SuperJongMan
Profile Blog Joined March 2003
Jamaica11586 Posts
January 18 2007 15:25 GMT
#33
Awww yeah..... I missed this thread.
GJ Wow.

Thanks to everyone, especially Rel who took multiple convincings to join the quest...
He said it was stupid, he said it was a waste of time, he said it was all in vain...
but in the end, he too, wanted to see the ultimate naked.

I salute everyone who helped me finish this quest.
I wanted to do it for so long but a lot of latency and lack of true comradery made it difficult.
Epic... fuckin Epic.
POWER OVERWHELMING ! ! ! KRUU~ KRUU~
maareek
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
United States2042 Posts
January 18 2007 15:40 GMT
#34
On January 17 2007 13:47 QuietIdiot wrote:
I'm pretty sure she's never done anything nude. Probably a body photoshopped with her face on it, but regardless, DAMN.


She's never done a magazine or anything (nothing like that pic, by any means) but she has appeared nude in a movie. It was just topless, for a few seconds, maybe an ass shot, too.

But holy shit, that was hot. Congrats and thanks.
FrozenArbiter: Obless PvT master
intrigue
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Washington, D.C9935 Posts
January 18 2007 16:02 GMT
#35
ah, the promised sexy pics! you always deliver

good job! tl.net should play the umsers after the fastest guys and the bgh guys
Moderatorsloppy little slug
evanthebouncy!
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States12796 Posts
January 18 2007 16:09 GMT
#36
On January 19 2007 00:40 maareek wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 17 2007 13:47 QuietIdiot wrote:
I'm pretty sure she's never done anything nude. Probably a body photoshopped with her face on it, but regardless, DAMN.


She's never done a magazine or anything (nothing like that pic, by any means) but she has appeared nude in a movie. It was just topless, for a few seconds, maybe an ass shot, too.

But holy shit, that was hot. Congrats and thanks.

nah that was subbed by a double :p
Life is run, it is dance, it is fast, passionate and BAM!, you dance and sing and booze while you can for now is the time and time is mine. Smile and laugh when still can for now is the time and soon you die!
maareek
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
United States2042 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-01-18 16:58:01
January 18 2007 16:56 GMT
#37
On January 19 2007 01:09 evanthebouncy~ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 19 2007 00:40 maareek wrote:
On January 17 2007 13:47 QuietIdiot wrote:
I'm pretty sure she's never done anything nude. Probably a body photoshopped with her face on it, but regardless, DAMN.


She's never done a magazine or anything (nothing like that pic, by any means) but she has appeared nude in a movie. It was just topless, for a few seconds, maybe an ass shot, too.

But holy shit, that was hot. Congrats and thanks.

nah that was subbed by a double :p


Well then, the double was hella hot anyway, so who cares? ;p Does it really matter whose body parts they were, as long as they were hot? ;p Good to know, anyway. But there are images of her in see through tops, and those aren't faked. ^_^~

I'm now pretty bummed that that wasn't Alba in that movie. Oh well, fecking body doubles. Who the hell lets somebody that looks that good use a body double, anyway?
FrozenArbiter: Obless PvT master
pyrogenetix
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
China5098 Posts
January 18 2007 20:25 GMT
#38
this needs to be made into a video and spread over the internet
this owns LEEEROOOOOY JENKINS

with LOTR backgroundmusic and the script DEFINATELY by intothewow hahaha funny stuff
Yea that looks just like Kang Min... amazing game sense... and uses mind games well, but has the micro of a washed up progamer.
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-01-19 01:28:51
January 19 2007 01:20 GMT
#39
Actually Jessica Alba has it in her contract that she can't appear nude in any film or anything. That just makes her 10 times more sexy when shes dancing on a stripper pole in 'Sin City', or swimming at the beach in 'Into the Blue'. That picture is definitely photoshopped because i have the actual picture with that head on it. Shes wearing a fuzzy gray turtleneck. I have however seen some sex scene with Jessica alba which is think is probably fake though at this website www.thehun.com . And there is some pretty 'racy' photos of her in some magazines like maxim (where she has no clothes on but covered up) and some shots of her at the beach showing her ass and stuff.




More pictures Here\

[image loading]


Funny pic of her.
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
funkie
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Venezuela9376 Posts
January 19 2007 01:29 GMT
#40
she is soo fucking hot
CJ Entusman #6! · Strength is the basis of athletic ability. -Rippetoe /* http://j.mp/TL-App <- TL iPhone App 2.0! */
IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32278 Posts
January 23 2007 02:05 GMT
#41
On January 19 2007 10:20 CharlieMurphy wrote:
Actually Jessica Alba has it in her contract that she can't appear nude in any film or anything. That just makes her 10 times more sexy when shes dancing on a stripper pole in 'Sin City', or swimming at the beach in 'Into the Blue'. That picture is definitely photoshopped because i have the actual picture with that head on it. Shes wearing a fuzzy gray turtleneck. I have however seen some sex scene with Jessica alba which is think is probably fake though at this website www.thehun.com . And there is some pretty 'racy' photos of her in some magazines like maxim (where she has no clothes on but covered up) and some shots of her at the beach showing her ass and stuff.




More pictures Here\

[image loading]


Funny pic of her.


Shes stripping herself.
Moderator<:3-/-<
GiveUp
Profile Joined October 2006
Netherlands91 Posts
January 29 2007 23:58 GMT
#42
can someone upload this one? XD
Much[GM] and SaviOr rox ur sox!~
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